Title: Family (New Life- pt 18)
Author: Nimue
Rating: PG-13
Feedback: Yes, please
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN, Fox... Just Borrowing.
Summary: Spike makes a big decision. Will you figure out what it is? Buffy comes to and realizes just what is going on.
Family
Spike stood, stretching his legs. A sense of urgency overcame him. There was something left undone. He wasn't sure if it was something Buffy would ever appreciate, but he needed to do it all the same. Not because he *had* to, rather because it is what *he* wanted.
"You said you think it could be a while before I could see her?" Spike
asked, turning back toward Giles and stepping onto terra firma.
Giles looked at his watch as if it had some sort of baby birthing egg timer attachment. "It could be any time, I suppose. But in reality, I would imagine we have hours, if not a day."
"A day?" Spike asked, aggravated. "What's the hold up? Been baking it for nine months now."
"Well, these things take time," Giles answered, still sitting on the step. He found himself amused and a bit endeared by Spike's impatience.
"I have something I need to do," Spike began, his hands in his duster's
pockets. "Shouldn't take me more than an hour. I don't really want to
leave, but..."
"She will be fine," Giles said. "Probably do you some good to collect
yourself anyway." Spike still looked nervous. "Go. If anything happens, I will make sure to let them know you will be back in a hurry. I seriously doubt there will be any change in an hour."
"Right then," Spike responded. "Tell the Niblet that I haven't gone far. Should have talked to her more when I came in but.."
"Spike, if you're going to go, off with you. We'll be here when you
return."
"Right." Spike turned on a heel and took off at a jog around the house.
*****
A throaty scream roared around the bedroom and Buffy's eyes popped open, her shoulders lifting off the sheets, every muscle in her body contracting all at once. Tara winced at the sound. Willow was too deep in her trance to notice.
The look on Buffy's face was sheer terror. Pain ripped through her as if she had been stabbed in the stomach. Willow was chanting softly, still holding on to Buffy's tensed shoulders. Tara rubbed Buffy's calf softly, trying to calm her. The screaming stopped.
"Tara?" Buffy moaned. "What's happening? Where am I? What's going on? Is everything OK?" In her mind, she had been lying in Spike's bed, tangled around him, feeling his lips on her face. The reality of the situation hit her like a wave crashing down. She was confused, scared, in agonizing pain. None of this made sense.
"Everything is fine, Buffy," Tara answered quietly, still rubbing her calf.
"I feel like... I have never felt pain like this before," Buffy screamed
again as pain shook her, tearing her insides out.
"You've never had a baby before, Buffy."
"Right," Buffy said, suddenly waking into the here and now. The pain was slowly subsiding. This is ridiculous, she thought. I have been beaten, bitten, in hell, even dead, and *nothing* has ever felt this..."Owwwwwww!" Buffy whined as the pain finally tailed off. "How much more of this?"
"Well," Tara began. "I'm no doctor and I really know little about babies. My aunt was a midwife though. I was there for a lot of babies being born. I delivered puppies once..."
"That's a relief," Buffy said in the snarkiest tone that her exhausted mouth could muster. "Isn't there some way to tell?"
"The screaming is getting closer together. That's a good sign. Well, it is a really bad thing that it hurts so much. It does hurt?"
"Uh, *yeah*," Buffy remarked, flopping back onto Willow's lap. "Hi, Will."
"She's in a trance," Tara said.
"Oh," Buffy responded. "Where's Spike? I..." It suddenly hit her. Maybe hell had all been a dream. Maybe she was here and he was still.. gone... and she was about to become the world's first supernatural single mom. "He... he did come back, didn't he? I wasn't dreaming that was I?"
Tara smiled. "He's downstairs Buffy. He wanted to stay with you, but the protection spell requires that only women be in the circle. So, he couldn't stay. I had to drag him out of here."
A small smile played on Buffy's lips. "I wish he could be here."
"So does he," Tara answered.
*****
The crypt was dark. Spike lit the candle by the door, then grabbed another from next to the television, lighting it and carrying it with him. He made his way down the ladder and into the lower level. This thought had ran over and over in his head since things had changed with Buffy, but he didn't know how she would take it, and then he was sort of indisposed in hell. Now was as good a time as any.
He walked over to the bookcase in the back corner of his bedroom and pushed it aside. In a niche in the wall was a small wooden box. Spike sat on the stone floor, pulling the box into his lap and setting the candle on the floor in front of him.
It was so old. It even smelled old. Dust covered the wood. He blew on the top of the box, then flipped the lid, revealing the velvet fabric lining. Inside was all that was left of his life as William. A small notebook, some cufflinks, his father's watch and some of his mother's jewelry, which he had gone back for when he heard of her death. He reached for a small blue bag and shook the contents into his palm. It was beautiful still. He had remembered looking at it when he was a child. The way it changed colour when she moved, and the way it caught the light from every angle. Thinking about his mum was always hard, but wonderful. She was his first love.
Spike let his hand close on the small piece of his past. He remembered her being so beautiful. What angels must look like, he thought. She was thin and blonde and not very tall, but her spirit always filled a room. Whenever his parents had company, all eyes and ears were always on her. Her laughter filled the house. Many a night, he and Camille would lie on the floor of the upstairs balcony, a silent sibling tradition, and peer through the railings into the sitting room below, just to see what grown ups did. To hear what they talked about. Every time, mum would catch them and chase them back to their beds and kiss them goodnight. On the nights that she wasn't entertaining, she would read them poetry. Spike smiled, supposing he should have been cross with her for hooking him on the stuff at such a tender age, but back then, he had thought her sweet voice was magic.
Then daddy disappeared and everything changed. We were teenagers then, he thought, Camille being two years his junior. Mum and dad had always been so in love. Always kissing, touching, happy. Even their disagreements had been tender and passionate. He had learned about love from watching his dad bring her flowers and tell her every day that he loved her, and from watching his mom tend to them all with grace, even at their worst. When dad stayed late in town, no one ever thought anything of it. His business affairs were always second in his heart to his family, but they were crucial to their place in the world. William had understood that. But the night he didn't come home, he never came home... Camille had waited by the door all night to pounce on him and shower him with kisses as she had done every night since she could walk.
Mum had died that night. No, it was longer than that. It took weeks,
months, for her to die. Her spirit eventually faded and all that was left was the frail body she wore. She still kissed them goodnight. She still tended them while they were ill. But they were hollow gestures. Her heart had left with father.
William had tried to be the man of the house. Gone to university, but
worked all night in thankless job after thankless job to keep his mum and little sis in finery and food. It wasn't enough. Mum needed things young William didn't have to offer. And Camille. Camille just buried herself in thought and hid.
He had even tried to maintain their place in society, going to all of the social functions a young man of his stature should be attending. William never had the knack for witty banter or the aura that lit a room like either of his parents. Instead of furthering his parents' good name, the Windsors were now a laughing stock. All because he thought his heart and his words were enough to win them over. Wasn't enough for them. Hadn't been enough to save his family.
Spike opened his eyes, staring down and seeing his mother's smile in the
little piece of the shiny part of his life. When all was beauty and grace and he was part of a family.
Family.
Guess I get to give this another go, he thought, smiling and shoving his
clenched hand into his pocket.
But I won't leave.
*****
"Giles?" Xander hollered, coming through the front door. "Brought some
food and picked up this stray teenager I found at the mini mart."
Dawn slapped Xander and took a long draw from her milkshake. Giles appeared from the kitchen with a steaming cuppa. "Where's Spike? Can't wait to talk to him. Was I dreaming or did he come in while it was still light out?" Dawn gushed.
"He had an errand," Giles replied, moving into the living room and settling into the overstuffed chair. "And no, Dawn, you weren't dreaming."
"So, he's human?" Dawn asked, sitting down on the couch. Xander had
already settled in and was unbagging fast food from a greasy paper bag.
"Not quite, but I think this is a conversation better had with Spike."
Xander took a huge bite from a hamburger. "Nice of him to jet while Buffy's giving birth to his child. Real manly thing to do." His mouth was full and he wiped the corners with the back of his hand.
Giles took a deep breath and sighed. Part of him did not want to say the words, but he had made his peace with Spike. It was time that Xander learned that compromise was a part of life. "Xander," Giles began, sipping his tea, " I know you love Buffy in your own way, but it's time that you realized that she does indeed love Spike, odd as that may seem to any of us. She wants him here. She needs him.."
"Then why *isn't* he here?"
"Because I encouraged him to go."
"Good," Xander said victoriously, taking another bite of his sandwich.
"No," Giles corrected. "Spike is insanely worried about her, not to mention unnerved by what has happened to him. I thought he needed to regroup in order to be any good to Buffy. When he returns, which I suspect will be momentarily, I suggest you gather your dignity and your manners and at least be civil lest you find yourself out of Buffy's life. Were you to force her to choose between your friendship and her relationship with Spike, I doubt you would like the outcome."
Xander felt as if he had been kicked in the gut. He knew Giles was right, but he never really wanted to hear it. Spike? Why Spike? What did Spike have that he didn't? Fangs and ridges? Certainly not a soul. Bloodlust? Why Spike?
"If you give him a chance, you might like him at least a little," Dawn said timidly.
"I don't need... I don't want to hear this," Xander huffed, dropping the
remainder of his supper on the coffee table and grabbing his keys. He
strode at the door as if escape were his only hope for sanity.
"Where are you..." Dawn stuttered.
"Harris?" Spike said, walking in through the door just as Xander reached the knob. Xander looked hard at the Vampire. Really looked at his face and saw it. Saw a person. That just made it worse.
He brushed by Spike angrily and ran out the door.
To be contd....
Author: Nimue
Rating: PG-13
Feedback: Yes, please
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN, Fox... Just Borrowing.
Summary: Spike makes a big decision. Will you figure out what it is? Buffy comes to and realizes just what is going on.
Family
Spike stood, stretching his legs. A sense of urgency overcame him. There was something left undone. He wasn't sure if it was something Buffy would ever appreciate, but he needed to do it all the same. Not because he *had* to, rather because it is what *he* wanted.
"You said you think it could be a while before I could see her?" Spike
asked, turning back toward Giles and stepping onto terra firma.
Giles looked at his watch as if it had some sort of baby birthing egg timer attachment. "It could be any time, I suppose. But in reality, I would imagine we have hours, if not a day."
"A day?" Spike asked, aggravated. "What's the hold up? Been baking it for nine months now."
"Well, these things take time," Giles answered, still sitting on the step. He found himself amused and a bit endeared by Spike's impatience.
"I have something I need to do," Spike began, his hands in his duster's
pockets. "Shouldn't take me more than an hour. I don't really want to
leave, but..."
"She will be fine," Giles said. "Probably do you some good to collect
yourself anyway." Spike still looked nervous. "Go. If anything happens, I will make sure to let them know you will be back in a hurry. I seriously doubt there will be any change in an hour."
"Right then," Spike responded. "Tell the Niblet that I haven't gone far. Should have talked to her more when I came in but.."
"Spike, if you're going to go, off with you. We'll be here when you
return."
"Right." Spike turned on a heel and took off at a jog around the house.
*****
A throaty scream roared around the bedroom and Buffy's eyes popped open, her shoulders lifting off the sheets, every muscle in her body contracting all at once. Tara winced at the sound. Willow was too deep in her trance to notice.
The look on Buffy's face was sheer terror. Pain ripped through her as if she had been stabbed in the stomach. Willow was chanting softly, still holding on to Buffy's tensed shoulders. Tara rubbed Buffy's calf softly, trying to calm her. The screaming stopped.
"Tara?" Buffy moaned. "What's happening? Where am I? What's going on? Is everything OK?" In her mind, she had been lying in Spike's bed, tangled around him, feeling his lips on her face. The reality of the situation hit her like a wave crashing down. She was confused, scared, in agonizing pain. None of this made sense.
"Everything is fine, Buffy," Tara answered quietly, still rubbing her calf.
"I feel like... I have never felt pain like this before," Buffy screamed
again as pain shook her, tearing her insides out.
"You've never had a baby before, Buffy."
"Right," Buffy said, suddenly waking into the here and now. The pain was slowly subsiding. This is ridiculous, she thought. I have been beaten, bitten, in hell, even dead, and *nothing* has ever felt this..."Owwwwwww!" Buffy whined as the pain finally tailed off. "How much more of this?"
"Well," Tara began. "I'm no doctor and I really know little about babies. My aunt was a midwife though. I was there for a lot of babies being born. I delivered puppies once..."
"That's a relief," Buffy said in the snarkiest tone that her exhausted mouth could muster. "Isn't there some way to tell?"
"The screaming is getting closer together. That's a good sign. Well, it is a really bad thing that it hurts so much. It does hurt?"
"Uh, *yeah*," Buffy remarked, flopping back onto Willow's lap. "Hi, Will."
"She's in a trance," Tara said.
"Oh," Buffy responded. "Where's Spike? I..." It suddenly hit her. Maybe hell had all been a dream. Maybe she was here and he was still.. gone... and she was about to become the world's first supernatural single mom. "He... he did come back, didn't he? I wasn't dreaming that was I?"
Tara smiled. "He's downstairs Buffy. He wanted to stay with you, but the protection spell requires that only women be in the circle. So, he couldn't stay. I had to drag him out of here."
A small smile played on Buffy's lips. "I wish he could be here."
"So does he," Tara answered.
*****
The crypt was dark. Spike lit the candle by the door, then grabbed another from next to the television, lighting it and carrying it with him. He made his way down the ladder and into the lower level. This thought had ran over and over in his head since things had changed with Buffy, but he didn't know how she would take it, and then he was sort of indisposed in hell. Now was as good a time as any.
He walked over to the bookcase in the back corner of his bedroom and pushed it aside. In a niche in the wall was a small wooden box. Spike sat on the stone floor, pulling the box into his lap and setting the candle on the floor in front of him.
It was so old. It even smelled old. Dust covered the wood. He blew on the top of the box, then flipped the lid, revealing the velvet fabric lining. Inside was all that was left of his life as William. A small notebook, some cufflinks, his father's watch and some of his mother's jewelry, which he had gone back for when he heard of her death. He reached for a small blue bag and shook the contents into his palm. It was beautiful still. He had remembered looking at it when he was a child. The way it changed colour when she moved, and the way it caught the light from every angle. Thinking about his mum was always hard, but wonderful. She was his first love.
Spike let his hand close on the small piece of his past. He remembered her being so beautiful. What angels must look like, he thought. She was thin and blonde and not very tall, but her spirit always filled a room. Whenever his parents had company, all eyes and ears were always on her. Her laughter filled the house. Many a night, he and Camille would lie on the floor of the upstairs balcony, a silent sibling tradition, and peer through the railings into the sitting room below, just to see what grown ups did. To hear what they talked about. Every time, mum would catch them and chase them back to their beds and kiss them goodnight. On the nights that she wasn't entertaining, she would read them poetry. Spike smiled, supposing he should have been cross with her for hooking him on the stuff at such a tender age, but back then, he had thought her sweet voice was magic.
Then daddy disappeared and everything changed. We were teenagers then, he thought, Camille being two years his junior. Mum and dad had always been so in love. Always kissing, touching, happy. Even their disagreements had been tender and passionate. He had learned about love from watching his dad bring her flowers and tell her every day that he loved her, and from watching his mom tend to them all with grace, even at their worst. When dad stayed late in town, no one ever thought anything of it. His business affairs were always second in his heart to his family, but they were crucial to their place in the world. William had understood that. But the night he didn't come home, he never came home... Camille had waited by the door all night to pounce on him and shower him with kisses as she had done every night since she could walk.
Mum had died that night. No, it was longer than that. It took weeks,
months, for her to die. Her spirit eventually faded and all that was left was the frail body she wore. She still kissed them goodnight. She still tended them while they were ill. But they were hollow gestures. Her heart had left with father.
William had tried to be the man of the house. Gone to university, but
worked all night in thankless job after thankless job to keep his mum and little sis in finery and food. It wasn't enough. Mum needed things young William didn't have to offer. And Camille. Camille just buried herself in thought and hid.
He had even tried to maintain their place in society, going to all of the social functions a young man of his stature should be attending. William never had the knack for witty banter or the aura that lit a room like either of his parents. Instead of furthering his parents' good name, the Windsors were now a laughing stock. All because he thought his heart and his words were enough to win them over. Wasn't enough for them. Hadn't been enough to save his family.
Spike opened his eyes, staring down and seeing his mother's smile in the
little piece of the shiny part of his life. When all was beauty and grace and he was part of a family.
Family.
Guess I get to give this another go, he thought, smiling and shoving his
clenched hand into his pocket.
But I won't leave.
*****
"Giles?" Xander hollered, coming through the front door. "Brought some
food and picked up this stray teenager I found at the mini mart."
Dawn slapped Xander and took a long draw from her milkshake. Giles appeared from the kitchen with a steaming cuppa. "Where's Spike? Can't wait to talk to him. Was I dreaming or did he come in while it was still light out?" Dawn gushed.
"He had an errand," Giles replied, moving into the living room and settling into the overstuffed chair. "And no, Dawn, you weren't dreaming."
"So, he's human?" Dawn asked, sitting down on the couch. Xander had
already settled in and was unbagging fast food from a greasy paper bag.
"Not quite, but I think this is a conversation better had with Spike."
Xander took a huge bite from a hamburger. "Nice of him to jet while Buffy's giving birth to his child. Real manly thing to do." His mouth was full and he wiped the corners with the back of his hand.
Giles took a deep breath and sighed. Part of him did not want to say the words, but he had made his peace with Spike. It was time that Xander learned that compromise was a part of life. "Xander," Giles began, sipping his tea, " I know you love Buffy in your own way, but it's time that you realized that she does indeed love Spike, odd as that may seem to any of us. She wants him here. She needs him.."
"Then why *isn't* he here?"
"Because I encouraged him to go."
"Good," Xander said victoriously, taking another bite of his sandwich.
"No," Giles corrected. "Spike is insanely worried about her, not to mention unnerved by what has happened to him. I thought he needed to regroup in order to be any good to Buffy. When he returns, which I suspect will be momentarily, I suggest you gather your dignity and your manners and at least be civil lest you find yourself out of Buffy's life. Were you to force her to choose between your friendship and her relationship with Spike, I doubt you would like the outcome."
Xander felt as if he had been kicked in the gut. He knew Giles was right, but he never really wanted to hear it. Spike? Why Spike? What did Spike have that he didn't? Fangs and ridges? Certainly not a soul. Bloodlust? Why Spike?
"If you give him a chance, you might like him at least a little," Dawn said timidly.
"I don't need... I don't want to hear this," Xander huffed, dropping the
remainder of his supper on the coffee table and grabbing his keys. He
strode at the door as if escape were his only hope for sanity.
"Where are you..." Dawn stuttered.
"Harris?" Spike said, walking in through the door just as Xander reached the knob. Xander looked hard at the Vampire. Really looked at his face and saw it. Saw a person. That just made it worse.
He brushed by Spike angrily and ran out the door.
To be contd....