"Ten menus sir?" The waitress asked Luka in Croatian.
Luka looked around and shrugged. "Da, molim.. Hvala.." He muttered good naturedly, ushering his friends to a large booth.
"I will pay.." He said determinedly as his friends sighed.
"No.. Luka, I insist that we pay for your meal.. It's the least we can do for thanking you, for letting us come along." Kerry smiled.
Dave nodded. "Yeah.. and make up for Carter putting glue in your dinner.."
"Hey! It was an accident!" Carter sighed, wounded.
"Yeah.. sure it was.. What sort of moron grabs something out of the cupboard and dumps it in.. You're lucky it was just glue and not rat poison.." Dave grumbled.
"Okay.. Stop fighting and order something.." Mark grunted angrily. "I'm
going to have a nice big steak.. What about everyone else?"
"I just want a good cheeseburger..." Dave shrugged. The group nodded
collectively.. It was bar food.. There wasn't that much of a selection
to choose from.
"I'll have the finger food platter..." Carter sighed.. "And a big coffee..."
The doctors sat and drank, chatting about the day's events. When Luka finally started discussing meeting his father in law for the first time, there was a sudden hush over the table. "It's okay.. We're okay now.. He's a good man.. Good hearted, only wanted what was best for her.. He's old.. Lonely.. I pity him really." He smiled sadly and dangled a finger in his water glass, plinking at the sides.
Luka's morose expression turned to one of disbelief and good natured sadness as he was regaled with the exploits of Carol, Benton and Doug. Even though Abby was with him now, he still missed the closeness he'd lost with Carol. The cold and soap-opera-ish exit she'd made had left him broken hearted and no amount of wild sex with Abby could change that.. It couldn't hurt though and Abby was quite a nice girl. She had more demons in her closet than he cared to know but he was certain they were all out in the open.. After all, what else could she be hiding?? Divorced alcoholic with a bi-polar mother, things couldn't get anymore interesting.. Could they?
**
The hungry doctors talked and drank till the food arrived and they were ravenous.
Elizabeth daintily picked at her garden salad and battered jumbo shrimp. Carol munched on her bruschetta, smiling at Doug as he hand-fed her his onion rings between sickeningly sweet kisses.
Finally when everyone had finished eating and Luka had excused himself to go to the bathroom, the group split the cheque between themselves. When Luka returned from the bathroom (He'd washed his hands like a good little doctor, not like 'certain' desk clerks that shall remain nameless.) the physicians had paid the bill, left a hefty tip and were standing in the foyer looking quite guilty and nervous.
"Hey Luka.. We really gotta get outta here man.." Dave said his voice trembling, and his eyes flitting around the room.
"What is wrong?" Luka replied glancing around the busy restaurant.
"We're skipping out on the bill. Carter and Dave conveniently forgot their wallets and we don't have enough to cover it." Carol glared at the men, winking at them, when Luka looked around for an angry owner with a baseball bat.
Dave nodded. "Yeah we better make a break for it."
As the waitress came up to give them their complimentary mints, Mark and Doug grabbed Luka by the arms and hustled him down the street.
They stopped outside another pub, laughing and breathless from their 'narrow escape.'
The doctors stumbled into the bar and were deafened by the most horrible caterwauling known to man; Karaoke singers.
***
"If I had a meeellion dollars!!!!!!! If I had a meeeeellion dollars.. I'd buy you a house.. I'd buy you a house.. and some furniture for your house.. Maybe a nice chesterfield.. Or an ottoman-" The crooner swayed on stage butchering the classic song sung by the Barenaked Ladies.
The doctors winced in the doorway waiting for the cacophonous noise to stop and the host walked on stage all smiles. "Even-ing all.. That was a song by The Nude Women... Give a big clap for Niro!!" He let the tone-deaf Niro, bow and walk off stage and Carter shook his head.
"No.. Not good for hangovers.. Going home now.. Bad singing.." He muttered.
A very large and very angry Croatian with the loftiness and breadth of a solid oak wardrobe towered over Carter and sneered. "Bad? You bad American! You sing.. You do better.." Niro cocked a brow evilly and handed the microphone off to the walking talking totem pole.
"Me? Sing?!" Carter stared at his friends with wide fearful eyes.. "I don't think-" Suddenly the eight-foot brick shithouse with legs grabbed Carter by the scruff of the neck and threw him bodily on stage.
"SING! Sing for me!"
Carter nodded nervously and rolled his eyes. "Oh yes.. Yes of course.. Oh Godly Supreme Phantom of the Opera.."
"WHAT!?" The very large man's eyes rolled crazily in their sockets and he clenched his fists, shattering the salt-shaker in his hand. He looked at it dazedly and licked the salt and blood from his wounds, with an evil crazed grin. "Sing! NOW!"
"Uhh... Carter.. I don't think it'd be such a bright idea to piss this guy off anymore than you already have.." Mark warned, giving the thug a wide berth.
The man pointed at Mark. "You.. You sing too.. Want to hear you sing!" His meaty fist and index finger aimed directing at the balding skinny doctor.
"I.. I don't sing.. Sorry.." Mark mumbled nervously.
"Mark! Don't you take your own advice? Go up and sing.. Give the man what he wants.. We'll just plug our ears.. Don't worry, luv..." Elizabeth grinned.
"I can too sing!" Mark whined. "I've sang the baby many lullabies, and they put her right to sleep."
Dave laughed. "Yeah sure boss.. Probably just a defense mechanism.. You know. 'Oh gee.. Daddy's singing again.. The sooner I pretend I'm asleep, the sooner he'll leave..' Believe me, I've heard you sing, man.. It's not pretty.."
"Dave!!!!! I don't think this is the time to be rude to your boss.. Little John does not look amused." Kerry nodded to the hairy beast that had started to walk toward their table.
"Go sing, skinny ugly man or I will hurt you AND your friends!" The human tank growled grabbing 'skinny ugly man', also known as Mark, by the crotch and flung him in the direction of the stage.
*****
Mark stood shakily as Carter helped him up. "Hey there skinny, ugly man.. Are you okay??" He grinned slightly, and slapped the senior attending on the back, causing Mark to topple forward.
"I'm not a skinny ugly man.. I can sing! Watch THIS!" Mark grumbled sullenly and punched in a few buttons on the Karaoke machine. "Here we go. You ready Carter?!"
Carter nodded, looking at Mark out of the corner of his eye. His hands shook, his knees trembled, and a thin line of drool forming at the corner of his mouth as his eyes widened with fear. "I.. I.. No... I can't sing.."
"Sure you can, John.. Here..." Mark murmured softly, rubbing the back of his balding head, gently and watching the monitor. "Uhh... Go head Carter..
Carter smiled nervously. "Summer lovin had me a blast... Summer lovin', happened so fast.. I met a girl crazy for me.." His voice trembled and cracked, slowly easing in as people started to clap.
Carter grinned and looked out at his friends in the audience who were busting a gut by now, especially at Mark's purpled face. "Uh... I met a... a.. boy.. cute as can be.. Summer days driftin' away to uh-oh.. those summer nights.." Mark said in a monotoned emotionless deadpan as the back up continued.
Carter smirked. "She stood by me, she got a cramp."
Mark reddened further, the hotness in his face cheeks and groin increasing. "He went by me, got my suit damp."
Carter chuckled. "I saved her life, she nearly drowned.."
"He showed up, splashing around..." Mark started to get into it and crooned out the lyrics in a terrible falsetto.
Carter bit the inside of his cheek to stop from laughing as they both continued. "Summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those summer nights."
Carter snickered and sang his lyrics a little more gruffly, puffing out his chest. "Took her bowlin' in the Arcade."
"We went strollin', drank lemonade." Mark glared at Carter and sighed mockingly.
Carter nudge Mark. "We made out under the dock."
Mark smiled at Carter sweetly. "We stayed up until ten o'clock."
Then they sang in muddled unison, the sort of tone that makes glass shatter and dogs howl. "Summer thing don't mean a thing, but uh-oh those summer nights..."
"He got friendly, holdin' my hand." Mark bumped his hips and bent his elbow limp wristed.
Carter winked at the table next to the stage. "Well she got friendly, down in the sand."
Mark rolled his eyes, batted his eyelashes and cupped his hands to his face with dreamy look. "He was sweet, just turned eighteen."
Carter sneered looking at Mark. "Well she was good, You know what I mean.."
"Summer heat, boy and girl meet, but uh-oh those summer nights." They sang again watching in dismay as their friends nearly fell out of their booth in hysterics and the giant Croatian seemingly had the hots for Mark.
"It turned colder, that's where it ends." Mark sang sadly, and even more pitifully off-key..
"So I told her we'd still be friends." Carter rolled his eyes and scoffed dramatically.
"Then we made our true love vow." Mark batted his eyelashes and held his hands over his heart.
"Wonder what she's doin' now?" Carter shrugged indifferently.
"Summer dreams ripped at the seams, but oh, those summer nights" At the last note Carter and Mark walked together onstage, sharing a mike.
****
"That was the music stylings of Mark and John, and everyone's favourite song, Summer Nights from the musical, GREASE!! Give them a big hand!" The host smiled, showing his rotted teeth. He ran a hand through his greasy, slicked hair and waving it towards their table, showing them to their seats.
The crowd cheered, heckled and booed all at once as Mark and Carter walked off the stage. They walked to their table where the gang was surprisingly more drunk than they had before. Abby sat rolling her eyes and sipping her Kaptain Kirk.. "Was it fun, guys?"
"It was nerve wracking.. But it got interesting.." Carter shrugged. "Anyone else want a go?"
Dave grinned. "I wouldn't mind serenading the ladies with my golden pipes."
The intro to the song started up slow, increasing as Dave walked on stage, mike in hand and ego pumped.
"Come my lady.. Come, come my lady. You're my butterfly, sugar baby.. Come my lady. You're my pretty baby, I'll make your legs shake. You make me go crazy. Such a sexy, sexy pretty little thing. Fierce, pierce. You got me sprung with your tongue ring, and I ain't gonna lie cuz your loving gets me high. So keep you by my side. There's nothing I won't try. Butterflies in her eyes and looks to kill. I'm asking, could this be real? Cause I can't sleep I can't hold still. The only thing I really know is she got sex appeal. I can feel too much is never enough. You're always there to lift me up. When these times get rough. I was lost, now I'm found. Ever since you've been around. You're the women that I want. So yo, I'm putting it down."
He grinned at the table of women, nearest to the stage and winked, bending on one knee and kissing one of their outstretched hands.
"Come my lady.. Come, come my lady. You're my butterfly, sugar baby.. Come my lady. You're my pretty baby, I'll make your legs shake. Come my lady.. Come, come my lady. You're my butterfly, sugar baby.. Come my lady. You're my pretty baby, I'll make your legs shake." Dave strutted across the stage, singing the chorus, and weaving unsteadily on his feet from the many beers he'd already consumed that day.
"I don't deserve you. Unless it's some kind of hidden message to show me life is precious. Then I guess it's true. To tell truth, I really never knew 'til I met you. I was lost and confused, twisted and used up. Knew a better life existed but thought that I missed it. My lifestyle's wild, I was living like a wild child. Trapped on a short leash. Paroled the police files. And yo, what' s happening now? I see the sun breaking, shining through dark clouds and a vision of you standing out in a crowd. Oh.. Come my lady.. Come, come my lady. You're my butterfly, sugar baby.. Come my lady. You're my pretty baby, I'll make your legs shake. Come my lady.. Come, come my lady. You're my butterfly, sugar baby.. Come my lady. You're my pretty baby, I'll make your legs shake."
Dave licked his bottom lip seductively and he made his knees knock as he fell to the stage and slide across the polished surface, only to jump to his feet and continue singing.
"Hey sugar momma, come and dance with me. The smartest thing you ever did was take a chance with me. So whatever tickles your fancy. Girl, it's you like Sid and Nancy, so sexy, almost evil. Talkin' about butterflies in my head. I used to think happy endings were only in the books I read. But you made me feel alive when I was almost dead. You filled that empty space with the love I used to chase. And as far as I can see, it don't get better than this. So butterfly, here is a song and it's sealed with a kiss and a thank you miss." Dave put the mike into the stand and ripped off his shirt, flinging it into the audience, causing the crowd to go nuts, fighting over the handsome Italian's shirt.
"Oh.. Come my lady.. Come, come my lady. You're my butterfly, sugar baby.. Come my lady. You're my pretty baby, I'll make your legs shake. Come my lady.. Come, come my lady. You're my butterfly, sugar baby.. Come my lady. You're my pretty baby, I'll make your legs shake."
"DAVE!!!!!!!!!!! That was Dave everybody!! Wasn't he Grrrrrrrrrrrreat!?
That was Butterfly by Crazytown, and let me tell ya I'm crazy about Dave.
What amazing pecs!" There was scattered whistling and hoots from the audience
and Dave blushed as he swaggered off stage, and to his table. Even
if Dave hadn't been able to carry a note, the fact that he'd ripped off
his shirt had scored him several points anyway, the women screaming and
jumping and down, wanting more than just Dave's shirt. The women all lead
back to their tables by the security guards and glared at by Mark and Carter,
thoroughly disappointed that they hadn't gotten that response with their
duet.