Title: Cold November Rain [part 14/?]
Book 1 of "Redirecting Destiny" and prequel to "Romantic Resolutions"
Author: Enigma
Series: Weiss Kreuz
Written: January, 2002
Rating: R
Pairings: (Yohji + Ken + Aya) (Omi + Nagi) (Brad + Schu)
Category: Dark! Yaoi Angst Action/Adventure Violence Blood Squick Language Romance. AU-OOC.
Archive: fanfiction.net [author: "E-sama the Llama"], Scripta Manent: http://digilander.iol.it/sakaba/Home.html
Spoilers: None, safe for new viewers as well as old.
Warnings: dark! yaoi, heavy angst, action/adventure, graphic violence, large quantities of blood, squick: medical and other, coarse language, agonized and overwrought romance, rare touches of sap, cigarettes, destiny, cruel cliffhangers, original characters. AU-OOC.
Disclaimer: "Weiss Kreuz" is the property of Koyasu Takehito and Project Weiss. This unauthorized work of fanfiction is intended for entertainment only; kindly do not sue me.
Notes: When Ken falls in battle, how can the other members of Weiss cope with the guilt and blame that they all seem to share and will he survive in spite of the odds against him?
++ date and time reference within the storyline beginning with the day of the battle ++
{{telepathic speech}}
*****
++ day: 1. time: 1630-1715 hours ++
*****
When Dr. Egami returned to the surgical waiting room as promised, he wasn't surprised to see the five people he'd agreed to meet awaiting him, expressions resolved and determined. Clearing his throat as he walked into the room, he asked, "Did you all get something to eat?"
"Yes, thank you, doctor," Manx answered for all of them before asking, "Is there any news on Ken's condition?"
"Nothing drastic," the surgeon said, relieved that his patient hadn't already died, a possibility that he'd considered too likely all things considered. He looked at each of them and inquired, "Since we can only allow two visitors at a time, who's going first?"
"We are," Yohji stated immediately, glancing at his silent, violet-eyed lover who confirmed it with a nod.
"Oh?" The physician looked startled, he'd expected Yohji and Omi to be the first to see Ken since they had been demonstrating the greatest emotional reactions to the situation. He pointed out, "It'll be another two hours before a second visit will be allowed with only a third one before the ICU is closed to visitors for the night. Are you sure you want to do it that way?"
"Yes," Aya's voice was unexpectedly tense and he glared at the man as if to say he was treading on thin ice to even imply he might be kept from the side of the injured man.
Holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender, Egami agreed, "Of course, son, I didn't mean that there was any problem with it, it just surprised me, that's all. Before we go, let me caution not only you two but all of you as to what you will encounter in the ICU."
"We've been in intensive care units before," Omi said with sadness. "I doubt there's any big surprises in store for us, doctor."
"That may well be the case, young man," the physician explained in a slightly annoyed tone, "but unless I miss my guess, none of you has been this badly injured in the past regardless of what you do for Kritiker. There are certain things that you simply must *not* say in the presence of the patient, and being forewarned is being forearmed, hence, I intend to give you some words of caution just the same."
He glanced at them and saw an unneeded look of contrition on the cerulean-eyed boy's face and he regretted the harshness of his words, but they were true and he continued, "First and foremost, your friend looks, to put it simply, quite bad. The surgical procedure was rough and even though his face hadn't been injured initially, by the time everything was over he looked as if it was. There are quite a few catheters, tubes, monitor patches, IVs, and other things attached to him that may seem excessive to a layman's eye, but I assure you each and every one of them is crucial and you mustn't disturb any of them. The monitors are also rather noisy, so if you wish to speak to him--something I urge you to do, by the way--you need to speak as close to his ear as you can get around the apparatuses in the room."
Nagi looked vaguely ill imagining the condition Ken had to be in at the moment and felt worried about how Omi might handle seeing him when it was Omi and Manx's turn to see him next. The Schwarz telekinetic knew he'd not be included in the highly restrictive visitation schedule until the next day and guiltily felt relieved because of it. This whole situation reminded him too much of the death of his school friend as well some of the darker days he'd faced as an Estet trainee since not everyone the mysterious organization recruited had as fine a level of control over their psychic powers as he himself did.
Arms crossed over his chest in an uncharacteristic show of annoyance, Yohji remarked, "Is that it, doctor, or was there more? We'd *really* like to get to see him now if at all possible, you know." He glanced at the stoic man beside him who shot him an icy amethyst look that concealed Aya's desperation from anyone other than his lover and he added, "Omi's right. We've done this before and even if it does sound worse than what any of us have gone through in the past, I know that Ken needs to know we're here. Unless there's more you feel you really *must* say, let's get going."
Egami sighed and nodded, he'd been glad to have gotten as many warnings in as he could, "All right, follow me." Walking out the door, he added to those they were leaving behind, "While we're gone, someone will escort you to another waiting room you'll be asked to use while visiting a patient in the ICU. That way the staff there can locate you quickly in the event of an emergency, all right?"
"Certainly," Manx agreed, then looked at the two young assassins with her and silently pondered what they might do if Nagi's teammates came looking for him, then decided she wasn't going to worry too much about it. If the precognitive leader of Schwarz had a vision of the petite telekinetic and chose to come after him, there was little or nothing they could do about it in advance anyway. As long as the two boys chose to face the dangers inherent in remaining together until the moment of crisis was passed them as they had stated they did in the cafeteria, then she, Yohji, and Aya would cope as best they could.
As if sensing the woman's thoughts, Nagi turned his head towards her inquiringly and asked, "Manx? Is something wrong?"
The redhead smiled slightly and answered honestly, "Not really, Nagi. I'm glad that you're staying for Omi's sake, that's all."
"But he's here for Ken-kun, too, Manx," Omi interjected and shot a small smile at his boyfriend before adding, "He cares about him, too, you know. Maybe not the same as the rest of us, but Nagi's worried about him, too, aren't you, love?"
Nagi felt his cheeks burn a little at the endearment that the cerulean-eyed youth had used a little too freely in front of the female Kritiker agent, yet answered, "Yes, I am, Omi. He's a good person and I hate to think of him suffering the way he has." His tone turned thoughtful and he added, "I don't know if I can ever imagine Schwarz facing off with Weiss again after this, though. I think that if I saw Farf or Schu pull a knife or a gun on him I might snap and actually fight against my own team directly for the first time."
The look of confusion and defeat on the young psychic's face was pure torture to his concerned lover, and Omi reached out to draw Nagi's hand into his own and he urged quietly, "Then don't think about it, love." Manx politely rose and went to gaze out the glass door to the smoking area as if the heavy cloud cover that had reasserted itself was the most fascinating thing she'd ever seen as the Weiss archer continued, "Remember that we've been deactivated, Nagi-love. It'll be a long time before we're called to duty again and possibly longer still before Ken-kun can join us based on what the doctor told us earlier. Please don't worry about that now, we've still got a lot to get through first as it is."
Nagi peered at Omi with an expression of continued sadness, yet agreed just the same, "I'll try, koi, if it's what you want me to do. And I plan to stay here with you as long as you need me, too." He sighed and let his head rest against Omi's shoulder for a brief moment, the familiar caress of blond hair against his cheek a welcome one.
The room was peaceful for a few minutes as the three left behind to wait each wondered what the other two had discovered when they saw Ken for the first time since the horrors of the morning.
*****
Stopping at the staff desk in the intensive care unit, Egami introduced Aya and Yohji to the doctor in charge and explained that he'd see to it the patient's other visitors would be relocated to the relevant waiting area.
Soon the two Weiss assassins were given protective clothing to wear and they stood outside the only occupied room in the unit with a specially trained nurse at their sides. Looking through the glass window they could barely see their injured lover. Ken was surrounded by equipment most of which beeped and whirred as it kept electronic watch over his condition or fed him the oxygen or fluids that would keep him alive.
With a sad shake of his shoulder-length blond hair, Yohji remarked to Egami, "We won't be allowed to stay in there with him alone, will we?"
"No, I'm afraid not," the man smiled ruefully as he added, "Remember all those warnings I gave you earlier? Well, something I neglected to mention is that even as beneficial as visitors can be to a patient's health, they can also cause unwanted reactions. Having someone like her here can minimize the danger since she can respond quickly to adjust the equipment or order assistance should it be needed. Right, Nurse Yamanaka?" [1]
The woman smiled encouragingly and answered, "Absolutely, doctor. But don't worry too much about me, you're here to see *him* not me and I won't be listening to anything you wish to say to him directly." Her understanding smile deepened as she added, "I can tell you both care about Hidaka-san a great deal, so I hope you'll make a point of telling *him* that, too, won't you?"
Ordinarily, Yohji might've reacted badly to a stranger implying anything about his relationship with someone, but he wasn't going to apologize to anyone for being in love with the younger man who was currently blanketed by tubes, wires, and sensors. All he wanted to do was get inside the room and somehow get it across to the silent brunette that he was loved and that they wanted him to get better and he didn't care if the world knew it.
Aya, on the other hand, had only recently accepted the ultimate truth about his feelings for the pre-existing couple within Weiss and he found himself at something of a loss, wondering if the nurse thought only Yohji had feelings of that sort for Ken. After all, the trio had been lovers in the physical sense longer than they had been in the emotional sense and it still baffled the swordsman that he was capable of truly loving both men as deeply as he did.
As one might expect, it was Yohji who responded for them both, saying, "We intend to. Now, can we *please* go inside or do I need to threaten to break down the door? I'm not a very patient man and this is getting on my nerves."
The nurse's smile broke into a gentle laugh as she nodded and reached for the doorknob commenting, "Now *that* is the level of dedication I wanted to hear! Yes, Kudou-san, please enter and if you and Fujimiya-san can express that to Hidaka-san, we'll all be better off."
"Thank you!" The frustrated blond exclaimed and strode into the small room with Aya close on his heels stopping as close to the head of the hospital bed as he could get. Jade eyes filled with sorrow took in the image of the wounded man and Yohji had to agree that Egami had been right about making them listen to his warnings even if they thought they didn't need to hear them at all.
Ken looked dead already.
A trembling long-fingered hand lifted and Yohji gently pushed a lock of soft brown hair free of where it had been trapped beneath one of the straps that kept Ken's respirator mask in place. He cautiously caressed the ashen skin of his younger lover for the first time since he had removed the blood-encrusted burgundy trench coat from his shattered body and left him in the doctor's care earlier. The guilt and remorse he'd experienced previously rose up and threatened to overwhelm him and only the voice of his other lover brought him out of his dazed state as Aya said quietly, "We've only got three and a half minutes left, Yohji. We need to talk to him."
Grateful green eyes turned towards heart-wrenchingly worried violet ones, an expression he alone could see, and the taller man nodded, "Right. Sorry about that, I kinda got lost for a minute there."
"I know." Aya's lowered voice carried concern for both of his two partners and he urged, "Go on, tell him how you feel."
Yohji nodded and bent slightly so that his lips were close to Ken's ear and he spoke as if the chocolate-eyed man could hear and respond to him, saying, "Hey there, Kenken. We're here for you, baby. You're doing great and Aya and me can't wait to talk to you, tell you how much we need you to get better and come back to us."
After drawing a shaky breath, the eldest member of Weiss continued as calmly as he could, "Omi's here, too, and wanted me to tell you that he and Manx are going to come see you soon, okay? I bet you'd be surprised that Nagi's here, too. Funny thing about that kid, the more time he spends hanging around with Omiitchi, the more it seems as if he belongs with us, you know?"
An amazingly gentle touch on one shoulder reminded him there was someone else who wanted time with the unconscious youth and he finished quickly, earnestly pledging his love and support for the man, "Ken, remember that I love you and come back to me soon, won't you, babe? I'm not any good to anyone when you're not with me, Ken-love." Desperation to make certain his words were understood at whatever level was possible, he went so far as to add a gentle kiss to Ken's unfeeling temple and he offered in a choked whisper, "Gods, I love you, Ken! Don't leave me!"
There were tears in jade eyes as Yohji straightened and stepped back to make room for his companion, the slightly shorter man having overheard only part of what had been said, yet feeling the depth of sorrow in his voice. Forcing himself to focus exclusively on Ken, however, Aya was able to give his own encouragement. "We're here for you, Ken. You're strong and we all know you can make it, so heal quickly and try to let us know you can hear us, all right?"
Uncertain what else to say and acutely aware of the time slipping away, he admitted the painful truth, "Yohji's barely holding it together, Ken, and I'm not much better if the truth was known. But it's Omi who's the worst off right now and we need you to wake up for him if for no other reason."
The sensation of hot pinpricks in the back of his eyes was ignored as he laid his heart on the line in an atypical show of raw emotion, Aya added, "I hope you know how I feel about you, Ken. It's hard for me to say it since everyone else I ever felt this way about has died or suffered horribly, but damn it all, I *love* you and life without you is worse than life without my family!"
Unaware his shoulders were trembling until warm hands made themselves known gently massaging and soothing them, Aya turned to see compassion and understanding in his elder lover's jade eyes even as a feminine voice interrupted from across the small room, saying, "I'm sorry, but you'll have to leave now."
"Yeah, we know," Yohji said and removed his hand from his lover's shoulders, assuming they were unwanted. He was wrong, though, and as he stepped towards the door, he felt the brief caress of a hand made powerful by years of swordsmanship placed firmly between his shoulder blades, reminding him of nights spent in rougher displays of affection.
Standing by the ICU desk and watching the two men make their way towards the door that would take them back to their friends where the painful job of spreading the news of her patient's condition awaited them, the nurse sadly shook her head. Then she remarked to Egami who had remained in the ICU to leave additional instructions for the care of their newest patient, "It's really heartbreaking, isn't it, doctor?"
"How so?" He asked, a puzzled look on his face.
"They love him so much and his prognosis is so bleak," she sighed again and shook her head. "How long do you *really* think Hidaka-san has?"
"Call him 'Ken', please, it will speed his recovery," the man answered and ran a nervous hand through his salt-and-pepper hair before answering, "In all honesty, I didn't think he'd make it this far in the first place. And if he was anyone other than who *he* is and they were anyone other than who *they* are, I'd say he had a day at the most. However, there's something truly unusual going on here. Whatever power guards and guides these boys is like nothing I've ever seen. Frankly, I wouldn't bet against his having a full recovery, come to think of it."
His expression was thoughtful as the woman gazed at him a moment more then she shrugged, and remarked, "I've seen more than my share of miracles, mind you, but if I got to see one more just for those three, it would be worth it."
Despite the seriousness of the situation, Egami laughed wryly then commented, "My dear, you haven't seen the half of it yet. Wait until the little blond and his boyfriend come through here later tonight or tomorrow. If you think Ken would pull through for the older two you might be in for a surprise. Those two together could bring a dead man back to life!"
"Doctor!" The nurse laughed and chastised the man at the same time.
The physician merely chuckled and left the room never once contemplating that he just might have been far more right than he could ever begin to imagine.
*****
To be continued.
Author's Notes:
[1] The nurse is named after without being based upon the Weiss Kreuz anime series Music Director, Kishow Yamanaka.
Full Author's Notes to Run at Conclusion.
Please be advised: Parts 13 & 14 will be posted together.
This evening's posting run is dedicated to the eight way-cool people who took the time to send me notes directly to let me know what they thought of Parts 11 & 12! Now, there may have been others and AOHell ate their kind words before I could read them and for that I grieve, but here's the list of those who kept my spirits up tonight and reminded me that there *is* a place in their hearts for angst-ridden bishounen: shadow, Ami-chan (who knows a good llama movie when she sees one!), Portia, Ryoko, Nebula Omega, focsfyr, Yanagi-sen (who would be getting a giftfic for her incredibly wonderful reviews to me if she wasn't already getting one as a present for her new site! she's the best! hmm, wonder if she'd let me run the URL for her site in an endnote here and advertise it sometime?), and Rubious.
It's also dedicated to all you astoundingly supportive readers at fanfiction.net, too! You're the best and now that I know you like angst, you can bet you'll be getting more soon!
{yawns tiredly and knows it's past time to post this and go to bed, but wants to mention one other little thing before he falls asleep at the keyboard again}
Can you believe we've been at this for over a week now? The parts you've read so far were all written initially between January 2 - 17, 2002, with massive editing each night before they posted. Why am I mentioning this? Because several notes have asked me how I can write so fast and now that I think about it, that doesn't really answer the question but it does help to put it in perspective.
That's it for tonight. Thanks for dropping by the Angst Theatre!
~~~E-sama the Llama~~~
(who is truly relieved that the readers are enjoying his version of Manx since she can be hard to write convincingly and Farfarello in "ultra-lucid mode" who will sound entirely different in his "normal relaxed mode" as well as his "psychopathic insane killer mode" if those ever get added to this fic or the "Redirecting Destinies" continuity)
Posted 31 January 2002 ~3:00am EST