Title: Cold November Rain [part 15/?]

Book 1 of "Redirecting Destiny" and prequel to "Romantic Resolutions"

Author: Enigma

Series: Weiss Kreuz

Written: January-February, 2002

Rating: R

Pairings: (Yohji + Ken + Aya) (Omi + Nagi) (Brad + Schu)

Category: Dark! Yaoi Angst Action/Adventure Violence Blood Squick Language Romance. AU-OOC.

Archive: fanfiction.net [author: "E-sama the Llama"], Scripta Manent: http://digilander.iol.it/sakaba/Home.html

Spoilers: None, safe for new viewers as well as old.

Warnings: dark! yaoi, heavy angst, action/adventure, graphic violence, large quantities of blood, squick: medical and other, coarse language, agonized and overwrought romance, rare touches of sap, cigarettes, destiny, cruel cliffhangers, original characters. AU-OOC.

Disclaimer: "Weiss Kreuz" is the property of Koyasu Takehito and Project Weiss. This unauthorized work of fanfiction is intended for entertainment only; kindly do not sue me.

Notes: When Ken falls in battle, how can the other members of Weiss cope with the guilt and blame that they all seem to share and will he survive in spite of the odds against him?

++ date and time reference within the storyline beginning with the day of the battle ++

{{telepathic speech}}

*****

++ day: 1. time: 1730-1910 hours ++

*****

"So? How was he?!" Omi leapt to his feet as the two elder Weiss assassins walked through the door of the ICU waiting room that would be the team's temporary new home and Nagi rose to stand beside him.

Not answering, Aya kept his head down and found a chair to sink into, apparently lost in thought though actually simply fighting to regain his legendary composure and failing.

Heaving a deep sigh, Yohji shook his head, the rustle of loose blond hair about his face making him wish for one of his usual fabric-covered hairties as he replied, "It's as bad as Egami made it sound, Omiitchi, I'm sorry." Apologetic jade met anguished cerulean and distraught lapis as he added, "If this wasn't Siberian we were dealing with, I doubt we'd still be here. But Ken's as tough a bastard as I am. He'll make it, you'll see, bishounen."

Omi took no reassurance from Yohji's usual nicknames for himself and he might have crumbled if it wasn't for a warm hand hidden behind his back supporting him. With a nod, he turned away from the older man to finally give in to the overwhelming desire to simply bury his face in Nagi's shoulder and stop sniffling back the tears he'd wrestled with all day, whimpering softly, "It's my fault, all my fault!"

"No! No, it's not," the telekinetic reassured for what seemed like the hundredth time that day and he hesitatingly brought a hand up to caress the shuddering blond head that remained where it was. The psychic lifted a frightened pale face to look at those around him and he mouthed a silent plea for help towards Manx.

The flame-haired woman shook her head slowly while giving Nagi a look that said more than her silently mouthed answer, "He needs *you*, Nagi. You can do it."

Frustrated, Nagi wanted to know what it was he should do, but without anyone to tell him differently, he chose to ease the two of them into an over-sized chair, using his powers to carefully shift Omi so that the older boy sat in his lap. No longer caring that anyone else was watching, he openly hugged the sobbing youth in an effort to soothe him. Too-slender arms wrapped around the crying teen while soft nonsense words of comfort spilled from his lips.

The only one still on his feet, Yohji found himself bemused by the two young assassins and it was all he could do to take his eyes off of them long enough to gaze at his own scarlet-haired lover. It was obvious to the older man that the younger one was having trouble with his emotions and in an effort to distract him, he pulled out his already half-empty pack of cigarettes and shook a pair of them free.

Gesturing with one of the unlit white cylinders, he asked, "Oi, Aya? Want to join me?"

Grief-stricken violet eyes rose to gaze at him as if he'd only barely heard the words, then Aya reached out and took the offered tobacco and said quietly, "Yeah. Where?"

Yohji glanced around suddenly reminded of the fact that they were now in a different waiting room and when he didn't see the familiar glass door, he said with a shrug, "I don't know. Why don't we go ask a nurse or something? I just can't sit inside right now."

Aya's quiet snort of agreement was the closest thing to a verbal answer he got, yet when the slender swordsman rose to follow, Yohji gladly turned and lead the way eventually finding them a small porch only a few meters distant from the waiting room. For quite some time, the two of them sat together in the late afternoon cloudiness sharing silence that held a greater meaning for them than for anyone else in the city of Tokyo as well as most of the rest of the pack of cigarettes.

When they returned to the waiting room, their silence came with them.

*****

The two hours between the first set of visitors and the second seemed to crawl for all those involved.

Exhaustion caught up to Omi early on and after his bout of unrestrained crying, he'd simply fallen asleep in Nagi's arms, the smaller boy glad to be able to give his boyfriend the comfort he needed during this difficult time.

Manx hadn't been monitoring the situation carefully and when a blanket casually drifted across the room from where it had been stacked with some pillows in an open cupboard, she was startled and cursed softly, "What the hell?!" She followed the line it was going in and glared at Nagi for a moment then smiled apologetically, whispering, "Sorry, it's the first time I've seen you do something like that. It's kind of scary."

The telekinetic nodded as he tucked the warmth around his lover's body and just gave her the half-smile he'd perfected over the years which meant nothing to anyone but Schuldich, someone he was trying very hard not to think about for fear the redheaded telepath might "hear" him.

Realizing she'd get no further response from the boy, she turned to see Yohji smirking at her, amused for reasons she misinterpreted yet didn't question.

Snickering softly to himself as he recalled the first time he'd been caught off-guard by a similar performance--soy sauce had never floated across their kitchen that way before--Yohji turned his own attention to the violet-eyed man who stared off into space, lost in thought. Deciding to leave well enough alone, the former detective rose to his feet and approached Manx, crouching down next to her to inquire, "Manx? Can I ask you for a favor?"

She regarded him with annoyance then said, "It depends on the *kind* of favor, Balinese. If you want to take my place in the next visitation, forget it. I need to see Siberian with my own two eyes so I can report to Persia."

Clutching his chest melodramatically, the blond man responded, "You wound me, dear Manx! All I wanted was to borrow some cash so I could go get a few things from the gift shop before they closed and stuff like that." With a look of false-injury, he pretended to move as if to leave her side.

A perfectly manicured set of fingernails wrapped themselves loosely around his wrist, however, and the woman urged, "I'm sorry, Yohji, that was rude of me." Reaching for her purse, she pulled out her wallet and asked, "How much do you need? I told you not to spend so much on lunch."

Her playful remonstration earned her a lopsided smile from the wire-wielding assassin who answered with an elegant shrug, "I don't know. I need another pack of smokes and I thought I'd pick up some cards for whenever Omi wakes up, he's usually up for a few hands when he's nervous. I've got no idea what Nagi might find of interest to pass the time or Aya for that matter, but if we're stuck here for awhile, we might as well be comfortable, ne?"

"That's a great idea, Yohji," she complimented him unexpectedly, pulling out roughly twice as much cash as he might've asked for even after adding some extra for the new lighter he needed. Handing it to him with an encouraging glance at the scarlet-haired man who remained focused on a distant nebula he couldn't even see from the inside of the building, she suggested, "Why not take him along with you and stop for coffee in the cafeteria? I think he needs to talk but won't do it where the rest of us might hear."

"Think that might help?" Yohji asked hopefully, his own ideas on ways to bring Aya's attention back to the present not being useful due to his own on-going distraction as he continued to worry about his injured lover.

"Absolutely," Manx graced him with a warm smile and a glance at the clock before she added, "Just be back before it's time for Omi and me to go to check on Ken, okay? I think he'll need to see that you and Aya are okay before we go and if you're not here, it'll just add to his worries."

"I understand," the lanky blond agreed then stood to saunter over to his partner, dropping a warm hand onto the other man's shoulder ever so carefully, hoping to avoid startling him too much with the sudden contact.

"What is it?" Aya asked in mild confusion, his first words in far too long.

"I've gotta run some errands for Manx," Yohji semi-lied with a shrug, "Want to come with me, Aya?"

Violet eyes narrowed briefly as Aya took a moment to assess those around him for the first time in awhile. Omi was slumbering peacefully in the arms of an enemy agent that his mind immediately relabeled "friend". Nagi had his eyes closed as well, but it was quite obvious the young telekinetic was wide awake, silently supporting the one he loved and trying to grant the others in the room some semblance of privacy. Yohji looked worried and concerned to him, yet hid it behind a saucily cocked hip and a lazy smile. Manx was studiously ignoring the men around her and was frowning at a scuffed designer shoe.

Realizing that things were as well as could be hoped for under the circumstances, Aya finally nodded and rose stiffly from the chair, pausing to stretch before remarking tonelessly, "All right, let's go."

Without looking back, the scarlet-haired man lead the way out of the room and missed the congratulatory look from the woman or the encouraging one from the youngest person present that Yohji received when Nagi gave him a tiny smile, too.

*****

Yohji was good to his word and when he and Aya returned fifteen minutes before Manx and Omi were to leave to see Ken, he was somewhat surprised by the scene he found.

The blond Weiss tactician sat beside his boyfriend instead of on top of him and while he didn't look as emotionally ragged as he had earlier, the stress of the situation was clearly effecting him badly. Omi looked up at his two friends and offered a wan smile but uncharacteristically remained silent.

The eldest Weiss assassin never claimed to be an expert on reading the facial expressions of the quiet Schwarz telekinetic, but it was all he could do not to ask Nagi pointblank what he was thinking about. The midnight blue-eyed youth had a strangely neutral expression on his face, yet to Yohji he seemed troubled. It was perplexing and it disturbed the lanky blond on a level he didn't wish to admit to that he was bothered as much as he was by being closed out by the diminutive fifteen year old.

The most predictable of the group, Manx sat reading an out-of-date fashion magazine with a bored expression carefully erected to hide her nervousness about her first glimpse of the wounded Siberian. She looked up at the pair as they came in and raised an eyebrow inquiringly when she noted the bag in Yohji's hand and then smirked slightly and asked, "So, Balinese, did you complete your mission successfully?"

Yohji chuckled and was pleased to note out of the corner of his eye that Nagi seemed to have taken an interest in the exchange and was looking at him as was Omi. Reaching into the bag, he extracted a small stack of magazines which he presented to the woman with a flourish, "For you, madam, the finest reading material the gift shop had to offer." She smiled at him and noted with pleasure that between the fashion magazines was a copy of the latest issue of a news magazine which held a feature on international crime trends.

Turning towards the pair of high school students who had taken up residence on an over-stuffed couch, Yohji reached back into the bag and pulled out a couple of things for himself and his lover, then handed the rest of it to Omi, saying, "For you, Omiitchi and Nagi. A few things to keep you from getting too bored, I hope."

Omi accepted the package with a confused half-smile and remarked, "You didn't need to go to any trouble for me, Yohji-kun."

"Sure I did, bishounen," the elder blond smiled and ruffled Omi's hair gently before adding in a more serious tone, "I know this waiting is tough on all of us. There's no reason not to try to distract ourselves a little, is there?"

"No, I guess not," the younger blond agreed then peered into the bag as natural curiosity kicked in. Nagi watched silently as his boyfriend smiled and pulled out an assortment of thick volumes of manga as well as a deck of cards and some Pocky. With a grin, Omi reached back into the bag and pulled out the final item and held it up eagerly asking, "Have you ever played Yahtzee, Nagi? It's really fun."

The sable-haired boy shook his head and frowned slightly as he admitted, "No, I've never even heard of it before. What is it?"

Omi's eyes lit up, pleased that his friends had brought him something that he knew would involve him enough to take his mind off the horrific images from the morning's battle. After glancing gratefully at the two older assassins, he explained, "It's a deceptively simple game with five dice that you throw in an attempt to arrive at various combinations to get the highest point scores. There's a lot of strategy involved and if anyone else wants to play with us it can be a lot of fun."

Nagi's shy smile as Omi carried on about the wonders of the new game was more a response to Omi's enthusiasm than anything else. With a nod, he accepted the offer, "I'd like to learn that game, Omi. Maybe you can teach it to me after you go to see Ken-kun?"

Upon being reminded of the impending visit to the ICU, the cerulean-eyed boy's face fell once more and he agreed in a sad voice, "Yeah, that would be a good idea, I guess. Um, are you going to be okay while Manx and I are gone, Nagi?"

"Of course I will, Omi," the telekinetic answered in a puzzled tone. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know," the Weiss archer admitted with a sigh, then glanced at Yohji who gave him a look of encouragement before he added, "You've been terrific about all of this and it seems awful that you can't go see him before tomorrow, I thought maybe it might bother you."

Nagi forced a smile but it was more sad than glad as he answered, "Maybe it did earlier. I thought I should be there for you when you saw him, but I know that Manx needs to see him and I'd never get in Yohji-kun and Aya-kun's way of being with him again tonight. Ken-kun needs to know they're here and I doubt that he even needs to know I'm involved."

Both Omi and Yohji wanted to correct the telekinetic's assertion that Ken wouldn't benefit from knowing he had a friend here for him as well as his teammate and lovers, but the opening of the door interrupted them.

All eyes turned towards the nurse Yohji and Aya had dealt with earlier and she smiled at them as she assured, "There have been no negative changes in Hidaka-san's condition." Rising to their feet, the two men looked as if they wanted to ask a million questions, but she forestalled them, adding, "If the next two visitors are ready, I'll be glad to show them the way to the ICU and let you know what to expect during their visit, all right?"

Glancing at Omi who was receiving one last reassuring squeeze of his hand from Nagi, Manx nodded and moved to stand before her, saying, "We're ready and the others already told us the rules, they *are* fairly standard, you know."

"I know," Yamanaka responded cheerfully and shrugged, "However, they have to be explained to each and every first time visitor to our intensive care unit here at Tokyo General just the same. It's official hospital policy, not mine. Shall we go?" She noted that Omi seemed reluctant to leave the boy beside him behind and in that brief moment she could see what Egami saw, the power of their connection was almost palpable.

Omi stepped more bravely towards the two women and then nodded firmly, "Yes, let's go. I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

"That's the spirit, Omi," Manx reassured, placing a warm hand on his shoulder briefly and giving him a gentle push to walk ahead of her as they followed the nurse from the room.

With a sigh, Nagi dropped back onto the couch he and Omi had been sitting on and leaned back into the cushions before closing his eyes in what seemed like a fleeting expression of sadness.

Disturbed by the Schwarz psychic's behavior and words in the prior few minutes, Yohji started to go to talk to him yet found himself stopped by a pale hand on his arm. Looking at his lover for clarification, he was further confused when Aya shook his head in silent recommendation that they leave the boy alone for a few minutes. Not pleased with this yet not willing to gainsay the rare directive, the lanky man agreed and the two Weiss assassins moved to find seats where they could alternately watch the clock and the too-quiet youth they shared the waiting room with.

The atmosphere in the waiting room was tense as the minutes slowly ticked past.

*****

To be continued.

Full Author's Notes to Run at Conclusion.

Please be advised: Parts 15 & 16 will be posted together.