Title: Cold November Rain [part 24/?]
Book 1 of "Redirecting Destiny" and prequel to "Romantic Resolutions"
Author: Enigma
Series: Weiss Kreuz
Written: January-February, 2002
Rating: R
Pairings: (Yohji + Ken + Aya) (Omi + Nagi) (Brad + Schu)
Category: Dark! Yaoi Angst Action/Adventure Violence Blood Squick Language Romance. AU-OOC.
Archive: fanfiction.net [author: "E-sama the Llama"], Scripta Manent: http://digilander.iol.it/sakaba/Home.html
Spoilers: None, safe for new viewers as well as old.
Warnings: dark! yaoi, heavy angst, action/adventure, graphic violence, large quantities of blood, squick: medical and other, coarse language, agonized and overwrought romance, rare touches of sap, cigarettes, destiny, cruel cliffhangers, original characters. AU-OOC.
Disclaimer: "Weiss Kreuz" is the property of Koyasu Takehito and Project Weiss. This unauthorized work of fanfiction is intended for entertainment only; kindly do not sue me.
Notes: When Ken falls in battle, how can the other members of Weiss cope with the guilt and blame that they all seem to share and will he survive in spite of the odds against him?
++ date and time reference within the storyline beginning with the day of the battle ++
{{telepathic speech}}
*****
++ day: 2. time: 0900-0920 hours ++
*****
As they walked towards the waiting room, Aya and an unfamiliar nurse walked towards them, the scarlet-haired man's face a silent mask of inquiry as well as concern which only Yohji or Ken could have deciphered.
Manx turned towards the blond man beside her and said, "Go on, Yohji. I'll see about making some of those arrangements we talked about. I hope Ken's doing better."
"So do I," the blond man said and then walked towards the elder of his two lovers and said simply, "Let's go."
"Follow me, please," the nurse interjected, then added, "By the way, Nurse Yamanaka isn't on duty today, it's her day off. I'm Nurse Takeshi and if you have any questions, feel free to ask." [1]
"Nice to meet you, Takeshi-san," Yohji offered cordially and said with forced humor he certainly didn't feel, "I'm Yohji and Mr. Talkative here is Aya. How's Ken doing?"
The woman smiled at him, pleased that such a handsome man wasn't as desperately upset as so many visitors to the intensive care unit were and answered brightly, "Oh, Hidaka-san is doing just fine. There was a problem with the equipment during the night, but that's all taken care of and his condition hasn't changed much since then."
Aya snorted softly under his breath at the very idea that what had occurred the night before was merely a "problem with the equipment" and not the near-fatal accident that it truly was. He didn't speak, though, he was still trapped in the morass of concern for Yohji whom he knew wasn't the least bit as relaxed as he wanted the nurse to think. Eyes focused on the floor as they walked, he missed the quick glance his lover threw at him which held a painful mixture of emotions that they both needed to sort out soon.
Forced to respond to the nurse's expectant smile, the slender blond allowed some of his own fears to show in his face and he asked with sadness, "Has there been anything to indicate if he might regain consciousness sometime soon?"
A frown twisted the corners of the nurse's lips down and she shook her head, "Not yet." Then her smile returned as they entered the intensive care unit and she added, "But patients always respond better to their visitors than they do to the staff when it comes to things like that. Just hold his hand and talk to him. Ask him to wake up and who knows? He's been out of surgery for over sixteen hours now so he just might respond soon."
"Is that some kind of magic number?" Yohji asked, stepping into Ken's room and feeling his heart tighten somewhat when he saw that his injured lover didn't look any better than he had around 2am.
"Yes and no," the nurse admitted. "Basically, when a patient requires as much work as Hidaka-san did, it usually means they'll need at least twice as long before regaining consciousness as a patient who is undergoing a more standard procedure which would be eight hours. It's not a guarantee by any means, but it's helpful to know what is or isn't likely."
Yohji looked skeptical and simply nodded before mumbling a few words of thanks as she turned away from them in favor of putting paper into a recording chart in one of the monitors. Unlike Yamanaka, Takeshi wasn't as concerned about what the two visitors might or might not say to the patient, she was more focused on the technical matters involved following the previous night's potentially lethal equipment malfunction. The sloe-eyed woman busied herself amongst the machines and disregarded the men as much as possible.
Ignoring them both, Aya stepped closer to the unconscious teen and immediately reached out to gently caress Ken's face a single time, letting the warmth of suntanned skin reassure him far more than any inanimate device ever could. He bent close and murmured words of encouragement and love even as violet eyes critically observed the new respirator mask, pleased to note that it wouldn't pose a potential strangulation hazard as its predecessor had.
Once more confident that Ken wasn't endangered by the equipment that was supposed to be protecting him, the swordsman's attention returned to the once handsome face so close to his lips and it was all he could do not to express his sorrow verbally. The bruises and small lacerations that had formed around the brunette's nose and mouth after the near tragedy of the night before were technically his fault but it was that or let Ken die and Aya was able to ignore them fairly well.
What affected the scarlet-haired man more were the deep purplish bruises on the skin underneath soft dark eyelashes that had been closed too long. The discoloration was what Dr. Egami had warned them about the day before and was intrinsic to the type of prolonged surgical procedure that had saved the teen's life yet had not guaranteed his survival.
With a deep sigh that he didn't allow to be heard in his words, Aya spoke more firmly yet only for the injured man's unconscious mind to hear, "Ken, we're here for you and you're going to be fine but we need you to wake up soon." Forcing himself to keep putting words together to say what had been unsaid for so long before the traumatic previous morning, he added, "I love you, Ken. Wake up and let me tell you that, please."
A soft rustling noise penetrated Aya's focus and he glanced over to where Yohji was tenderly stroking Ken's unbroken arm where it lay above the sheet, careful of the IV needle taped to the badly discolored elbow. The expression of sorrow and need in unfocused jade eyes drew him from his own thoughts and he said more loudly so that his elder lover might hear him as well, "We're both here with you, Ken. Yohji and I *both* want to talk to you, see you smile again. So wake up soon, okay?"
Still sad yet deeply touched, Yohji gazed at the slightly shorter man who bowed his head ever so slightly before placing a sole tender kiss to an unfeeling forehead before moving aside so that the elder member of Weiss could approach and speak to the unconscious youth.
Aya slipped past Yohji, dropping a brief encouraging hand on his shoulder before stationing himself where he might watch over the two of them for the remaining few moments of their visit. Without thinking about it, he began to mimic the blond's earlier actions and soon he settled with holding Ken's surprisingly warm right hand in both of his own, thumbs caressing the tiny holes left in the skin across the back where IVs had been inserted during surgery.
Moving to lightly finger-comb some of the messy chocolate hair that spilled forlornly across the pillow beneath the injured nineteen year old's head, Yohji spoke his own words of encouragement and love in his usual conversational style. He greeted him warmly as if over the breakfast table, "Good morning, Kenken. You're looking better today, baby. Does this mean you're going to feel like waking up and saying 'hi' soon, I hope? That would be great, I mean, how much fun can it be to just lay there and listen to me ramble like this, ne?"
Unable to think of anything new to say, he talked about what was going on and hoped that on some level it might help his injured lover to hear how those he cared about were doing. "Oh, I got a surprise for you, Kenken. Omiitchi and Nagi are going to come see you next, won't that be cool? They're really looking forward to it and I hope that you don't mind the extra company."
He chuckled softly more for effect than due to actually feeling happy about anything and corrected himself, "What am I saying? Of course you won't mind, you like those two as much I do, right?" His mood lightened for a brief moment as he mentioned, "They looked so cute together last night, sleeping cuddled in bed together like a pair of puppies. You would've loved seeing it." Yohji's throat unexpectedly tightened up on him as he recalled how often Ken would remark that the two blue-eyed teens made a cute couple, sprinkling discussions of the pair with the word "kawaii" so much that his elder lover had almost begun to associate the word exclusively with them.
Forcing the lump in his throat back down, Yohji continued in a more serious vein and quietly pleaded, "Please get well soon, Ken-love. I miss you so badly and if you even just opened your eyes for a moment, I'd be the happiest man alive. Gods, the waiting is hard but for you I'd wait forever. I love you, baby, *please* wake up and let me tell you that again, won't you?"
A low gasp of surprise caught the blond's attention and he glanced at Aya inquiringly and the other man said in a disbelieving tone, "I think his hand just moved."
"What?!" Yohji's eyes went wide with hope and he straightened from where he had been bent over the unconscious teen's form, looking at where his two lovers' hands were clasped together on the sheet. Trying not to become overly hopeful, he asked, "Are you sure, Aya?"
Amethyst eyes were filled with uncertainty and even as he was about to deny it, the sensation of tightening around his fingers came again and he quickly stated, "Yes!! I definitely felt something and it happened again. Look!"
Both men and the nurse as well turned their attention to where it was now obvious that Ken's hand was indeed clasping Aya's more than it had when it simply laid there limply before.
Yohji quickly turned his head and spoke urgently to the man in the bed, "Ken-love?! Are you awake, baby? Oh, damn, but this is good news!"
"Um, Yohji-san?" The nurse interrupted and cautioned, "I wouldn't get my hopes up so much if I was you. Reflexive responses don't always mean someone is actually conscious, but it *does* mean he is beginning to strengthen somewhat. It's a good indicator that things are improving and I'll get the doctor to check him soon, but your time was up a few minutes ago. I just didn't want to make you leave too soon, but I think you need to go now."
"But I *felt* him respond," Aya insisted, unwilling to let go of the new hope they'd found. He glanced at Yohji with eyes atypically filled with obvious need and he urged, "Tell him you love him again, Yohji! That's when he moved. Try it again!"
Rushing to comply and not giving a damn about the nurse who was nervously looking at her watch, he avowed sincerely, "Ken? I *love* you, baby! Can you hear me? Are you coming out of this, sweetheart?" He looked expectantly at Aya but the other man's face had fallen and the soft smile of hope was gone as he shook his head.
"Nothing," Aya said, profound sorrow in his tone as he realized that Ken's hand was once more as lax as it had been when he had first gathered it into his own. Agonized violet eyes could barely lift knowing they would encounter saddened jade ones, but they finally did and he added quietly, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Yohji assured and forced himself to smile once more as he added, "Even if it was only for a moment, I think he knew we were here."
The scarlet-haired man glumly nodded his head and retreated back behind his wall of silence once more, hiding from a sense of guilt that it had been himself to have felt their lover respond and not Yohji whose presence apparently made the greater impact on Ken.
Not willing to give up quite as easily as his partner appeared to have done, Yohji reached out and clasped his hand around Aya's arm, giving it a firm squeeze as he stated confidently, "He *did* move, Aya, I'm sure of it. Ken's starting to rally and come out of this." As worried violet eyes gazed into confident jade ones he added, "I'll bet you he's awake and complaining that he's hungry before the day is out! You'll see, our Kenken's a fighter and he'll be up and around before you know it."
The nurse cleared her throat meaningfully and distracted the elder of the two long enough that he missed his lover's sad expression as the Weiss swordsman glanced where a large bulky bandage surrounded Ken's severely injured right leg.
In the back of his mind, Aya wondered how long it really would be until the former athlete would be able to walk unaided and without a limp. His dark thoughts weren't helpful, though, as the same voice reminded him that there was the spinal injury to keep in mind as well as no guarantee of survival in the first place. Heaving a heavy sigh that seemed to echo from the bottom of the sea, he answered with only a nod as the nurse shooed them both out of the treatment room and indicated they needed to return to the waiting room since they'd over-stayed their time in the ICU.
Yohji's good mood was tempered by the realization that no matter how much hope they'd felt during the moment their wounded lover seemed to be responding to them, there was still a long road of recovery to face for Ken. A road that would invariably include detours and missed turns that he and the others would all have to be strong to face.
The two eldest members of Weiss made their way back to their friends, each lost in his own thoughts and an opportunity to close some of the emotional distance that was growing between them was unfortunately missed.
If Abyssinian and Balinese had known what cruel twist fate held in store for someone close to them, they might have taken the opportunity to try to mend the rift that had developed between them. However, very few people are privileged with advance knowledge of such things and even when those rare gifted souls know, sometimes they can't do anything about it either and they are often as frustrated as everyone else.
*****
To be continued.
Author's Notes:
[1] As I've done for all of the Tokyo General Hospital staff, I've named this new character after a member of the creative staff of the anime series. This time it's Art Director Waki Takeshi who is being honored even though this nurse may have little or nothing in common with her talented namesake.
Full Author's Notes to Run at Conclusion.
Please be advised: Parts 23 & 24 will be posted together.
This evening's posting run is dedicated to someone who works very hard to bring together quality fanfiction based on the bishounen of Weiss Kreuz as well as those of Gundam Wing, the talented and kind, Diana, archivist extrodinaire!
{sends up a rocket filled with fireworks of delight in her honor}
This marvelous soul works diligently yet quietly via the stylish and understated "Scripta Manent: A Fanworks Archive" where she houses some of the finest pieces of fanfiction one could ever want to read for a variety of authors, all of whom she has hand-picked to insure your reading pleasure. You'll find some of the best known names there such as: Jade, Chalcedony Cross, Sailor Mac, Ray-chan, Miko no Da, myself, and others. And if you want variety, she offers plenty of that, too! From Jade's lemony romps to one of the finest fics with meteorological precipitation in the title, Mami-sama's heart-wrenching piece that is simply called "Rain", but which I file in my brain as something to re-read if I'm feeling too happy, something that hasn't happened in a *very* long time!
I strongly urge you to go check out her wonderful site and wish to mention that the URL is located above in the indicia of each and every part of this angst epic that she has done a simply amazing job of HTMLing and uploading almost as fast as I can get it posted. By the way, if you want to see another émigré from the world of GW's take on the Weiss boys from a sexual perspective, scope out babaca's nifty pair of fics.
Oh, speaking of G-Boys and their adventures, as mentioned above, Diana has those, too, and I urge you to take a moment to go and worship them, too. Plus, after enjoying images in your head from words, go and enjoy words in your head from images in the fanart gallery! There's some nifty images by Cj there and even though I have yet to make the acquaintance of this talented soul, the works speak for themselves, ne?
{throws a Pocky bouquet into cyberspace in honor of Diana and a hope that the readers of this fic will all go over and enjoy her site very soon, they'll be glad they did! then the hairy beast gets a tired smile on his face and mentions something happily domestic that is less angsty than things have been lately}
A special word of thanks to all those of you who sent words of encouragement for Lauren's speedy recovery! Apparently you have influence over not only my muses but the powers that bring healing to twelve year old's throats, since she felt well enough to go to school today. Granted, that meant she and I did homework together all evening *and* it meant I didn't have enough time to edit the next Part in time to post the way that I wanted to, but oh well. A great cliffhanger in the middle of a posting run is still a great cliffhanger, ne?
Well, that's it for tonight. A slightly shorter read than usual, but there's angst aplenty coming your way next and I hope you'll all plan to join me here at the Angst Theatre soon to find out what the heck the last line in Part 24 was all about!
~~~E-sama the Llama~~~
(who is currently trying to find a way to get this fic wrapped up soon, he's got that Cowboy Bebop birthday fic to write for his kitten-koi soon, but will set this one aside to do it if necessary. *however* once he returns to CNR, it will most likely be finished quickly since right behind it is the all new "Scars": Book 3 of "Redirecting Destiny" which will contain the greatly anticipated lemon for the Weiss trio! it will be dark. it will be painful. it will live up to its title in ways that make me shudder. but it *will* be sexy as hell, you've got my word on it! {trembles with angst-addict delight as he recalls the outline for this that Erato and Melpomene delivered a couple of days ago} ah, angsty-lemon, what a yummy thing to look forward to, ne?)
Posted 07 February 2002, ~3:45am