Title: Cold November Rain [part 25/?]

Book 1 of "Redirecting Destiny" and prequel to "Romantic Resolutions"

Author: Enigma

Series: Weiss Kreuz

Written: January-February, 2002

Rating: R

Pairings: (Yohji + Ken + Aya) (Omi + Nagi) (Brad + Schu)

Category: Dark! Yaoi Angst Action/Adventure Violence Blood Squick Language Romance. AU-OOC.

Archive: fanfiction.net [author: "E-sama the Llama"], Scripta Manent: http://digilander.iol.it/sakaba/Home.html

Spoilers: None, safe for new viewers as well as old.

Warnings: dark! yaoi, heavy angst, action/adventure, graphic violence, large quantities of blood, squick: medical and other, coarse language, agonized and overwrought romance, rare touches of sap, cigarettes, destiny, cruel cliffhangers, original characters. AU-OOC.

Disclaimer: "Weiss Kreuz" is the property of Koyasu Takehito and Project Weiss. This unauthorized work of fanfiction is intended for entertainment only; kindly do not sue me.

Notes: When Ken falls in battle, how can the other members of Weiss cope with the guilt and blame that they all seem to share and will he survive in spite of the odds against him?

++ date and time reference within the storyline beginning with the day of the battle ++

{{telepathic speech}}

*****

++ day: 2. time: 0930-1110 hours ++

*****

When the elder pair of Weiss assassins walked into the intensive care unit's waiting room, Omi nervously looked up from the dice game he and his boyfriend were distracting themselves with and then smiled brightly as he asked, "Yohji-kun? Why the big smile? Has something good happened?"

Nagi was also looking at them, yet his eyes tracked to Aya's somber expression and he knew that things weren't really as good as Yohji was about to claim and immediately knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that much of the show of good cheer was for Omi's sake. He kept quiet, though, respecting the Weiss assassins' efforts on behalf of his beloved partner.

"Ah, Omiitchi, I have *excellent* news!" The tall blond man beamed brightly and spread his arms out in an encompassing motion that drew Manx's attention to him as well and he announced, "Kenken responded to us while we were with him. He squeezed Aya's hand and I'm sure this means he'll come out of it any time now!"

"That's wonderful!" The younger blond's expression was radiant and he leapt to his feet to rush to embrace the elder blond warmly, genki smile in full bloom as he turned to the violet-eyed man and asked excitedly, "Did he *really* know you were there, Aya-kun? I mean, if he *did* and he *does* wake up, won't that mean he's going to recover fully and faster than Dr. Egami said he would?"

Despite a raw sense of chill in his soul that made him wish to seek solitude rather than act in a fashion contrary to his true feelings, the swordsman forced himself to answer, "I think he knew we were there, Omi, but I have no idea if it means anything or not." He turned pained amethyst eyes on the jade-eyed man and added almost accusingly, "And I seriously doubt that even if he regains consciousness today that fact alone will change the prognosis the doctor gave us yesterday. You shouldn't make more of this than it is, Yohji."

Yohji unexpectedly released Omi from his arms and turned away, torn by a desire to disagree adamantly with his lover or to simply take Aya aside and tell him to have more faith, to be more trusting in a favorable outcome. In the end, his exhausted mind couldn't make a choice and he lapsed into an atypical silence, expression conflicted as he mentally removed himself from the situation for a few moments.

The scarlet-haired man was barely aware of the shift in the elder of his two lovers, his own thoughts dark and cloudy as he contemplated the effect it would have on all of them if in fact Ken didn't return to consciousness soon. There weren't any scenarios based on these thoughts that held much hope and he was caught in the maelstrom of them briefly.

Confusion-filled cerulean eyes moved from one teammate to the other a few times before Omi asked, "Well? Which is it? I should feel hopeful or I shouldn't?" Turning towards his boyfriend he reached out both physically and emotionally and asked, "Nagi-love? What do *you* think I should do?"

With a small sigh of frustration since he really had no idea which would be the right thing to do realistically speaking, the telekinetic chose blind faith for a change, took Omi's hand in his own, and suggested, "Why not go ahead and feel hopeful, Omi-koi? Weren't you the one who taught me to hope for the best when I was doing so poorly in Sociology at school? It helped then and it ought to help now, don't you think?"

Reminded of the time when the midnight blue-eyed youth had become unbearably lost in a class whose subject matter Nagi had no intrinsic interest in and it had been up to Omi to help him succeed, the Weiss archer nodded. It had taken a combination of faith, luck, and an all-night IM study session to help the struggling student bring home the "B" grade that was the lowest mark Crawford would accept from him. [1] Without the constant urgings of one-word emails that read simply "Ganbatte!", Nagi might've given up entirely and that would've been a most unfortunate result. [2] As it was, however, he passed the final exam with flying colors and was able to put it behind him as a learning experience in more ways than one.

A slow smile returned to Omi's lips and he nodded firmly and said, "I almost forgot about that, Nagi. Yes, I think I *will* hope for the best and maybe Ken-kun will wake up when you and I go to see him, ne?"

Nagi blinked his eyes in surprise, that certainly wasn't what he had in mind, "hoping for the best" was one thing, expecting a miracle was quite another. Trying not to sound as confused by the blond's rapid shifts in attitude as he felt, the sable-haired boy offered encouragingly, "Ganbatte!"

Omi beamed once more, blissfully unaware of Nagi's hesitation and then tugged on their joined hands and asked, "Want to play Yahtzee now, love? There's nothing else for us to do until we get to see Ken-kun around 11 o'clock, so this might be a good time."

Shrugging since it seemed an obvious choice, Nagi agreed and the two of them retreated to a corner where there was a clear spot on the floor where they could sit together and get lost in a small flurry of score cards, pencils, and dice.

Neither Yohji nor Aya paid the teens much attention as they had already retreated into their own separate worlds and Manx watched the four assassins with a look of displeasure in her ocean-colored eyes.

"Men can be so stupid at times," she sighed to herself and then left to begin putting in motion some plans of her own based on the recent nearly tragic events. If the people she was trying to help get through this crisis failed to see that they weren't handling things with clear heads, then she'd just have to take charge and do it for them. What woman wouldn't?

In the back of her mind, the Kritiker agent congratulated herself on having told Omi that he and Nagi could have the second visitation of the day, hoping that seeing his teammate would help settle the seventeen year old's fears for awhile and possibly get him to rest. It never occurred to her that perhaps the Schwarz psychic wasn't as ready to see the severely injured man as he himself thought, but there wasn't much to be done about it at that point anyway.

*****

Roughly two hours after her first trip to the waiting room, Takeshi returned to find an odd sight.

Sitting on the floor in a corner of the room, two teenage boys were smiling more than most intensive care unit visitors ever did and after the blond stared glumly at the dice in front of him and complained about not getting a Large Straight something miraculous happened. [3]

As he turned his attention to the score sheet in his lap, one of the two dice that read "5" floated up from the carpeted floor, twisted itself in midair and then settled back down as the other boy pointed and answered, "But you did, koi. See? You got a '1' instead of a '6', doesn't that still count?"

"Really? I *did*? Neat!!" The blond's smile was bright and cheery as he moved to quickly erase the pencil mark that had put a score in the "Chance" line instead of the one for getting five numbers in order, never once questioning his sudden luck. Then he scooped up the dice, put them back in their holder and handed it to his partner, saying with a small smirk, "Oh, we need to add a new rule, though, Nagi-love. No use of paranormal powers to help me win, okay?"

The dark-haired boy tried to pout ever so briefly then laughed softly and nodded, "You caught me, koi. All right, no more cheating. But that has to include your own sleight-of-hand that you used earlier to get me that Full House score, too, okay?"

Cerulean eyes widened slightly and then the boy laughed and nodded, "You noticed that? Oh well, I guess we *both* have to agree not to cheat, at least not unless we're playing as a team against Aya-kun and Yohji-kun, right?" He offered an extended pinky in promise which was gladly accepted. [4]

As the two boys shook on their agreement to attempt to beat the elder members of Weiss in a dice game, the aforementioned pair of assassins glided up noiselessly behind the nurse after sharing silence and cigarettes outside. Yohji asked the woman, "Is there news about Ken, Takeshi-san, or are you here to escort the next visitors to him?"

The nurse was so absorbed in the interaction on the floor, she hadn't heard the men arrive and she gave a soft cry of alarm and then pressed one hand to her racing heart and exclaimed, "Don't *do* that, Yohji-san! Please! You scared me half to death!"

"Sorry about that," the jade-eyed man chuckled softly, amused ever so briefly that he and his partner's intrinsic stealth skills occasionally expressed themselves at the most opportune of moments. After enjoying the way the woman glared angrily at him before she turned her eyes away in confusion to stare once more at the boys, he asked, "Is something wrong, nurse?"

Pointing at Nagi and Omi she asked in puzzlement, "Did they just do what I think they did?"

"What might that be?" Yohji asked teasingly and bent close to her before whispering conspiratorially, "Did you catch them kissing or something, Takeshi-san? I told them to behave themselves before I left, but you know how kids are."

The speed with which the blush bloomed on her cheeks was astounding and it had the desired effect in that she was distracted enough not to pursue the matter of having seen telekinesis at work and she finally asked in a flustered voice, "Who is coming to see Hidaka-san next? I thought that red haired woman would be next but she isn't here now."

"No, we're next." Omi said and scrambled to his feet before drawing Nagi up beside him and adding for the benefit of the pair who had just arrived, "Manx had to go to the office for a different laptop since the one she brought wasn't working right and said she'd be back soon."

"Okay," Yohji agreed with an easy smile and then asked more seriously, "Are you two ready to go see Ken?"

Nagi swallowed thickly and nodded his head, not willing to give voice to a sudden feeling of foreboding even as Omi smiled brightly and agreed too quickly, "Absolutely, Yohji-kun! I've been really looking forward to seeing him and I know Nagi is too, right, love?" He turned big hopeful eyes on his boyfriend who simply nodded again and reached out to hold his hand cautiously, unaware that Yohji's earlier teasing of the nurse would've eliminated any shock factor such an action might've had.

Takeshi heaved a sigh, glad that her heart rate was down but the blush remained on her cheeks as she said, "Follow me, please."

She led the pair to the intensive care unit, repeating the hospital's list of rules for Nagi's benefit. Opening the door to Ken's room, she mentioned something about having forgotten something one of the machines needed and she unwisely left them alone with the unconscious man.

Omi's eyes were riveted on his teammate's face, taking in the numerous small wounds inflicted on him the night before during what he knew was a rescue mission performed by Ken's two lovers, something that had undoubtedly saved the claw-wielding assassin's life. With a soft sigh, he smiled encouragingly at his boyfriend before turning to face his fallen friend and thereby missed the ash color replacing the normal alabaster of Nagi's face as the shock of the sight before him set in.

Despite his prior experiences with both the death of his school friend who had been denied a kidney transplant and various incidents at Estet, the diminutive telekinetic hadn't spent much time around people as severely injured as Ken was now. The sight would be an unnerving one even if the older teen was a complete stranger. However, knowing him as well as Nagi did, the impact of seeing the many pieces of medical equipment, IVs, bandages, and more attached to the brunette was overwhelming and quite frightening.

Blissfully unaware of the trouble brewing behind him, Omi stepped over to the side of Ken's bed and offered as brightly as possible, "Hello, Ken-kun! I'm back again. Your color is better today and Aya-kun said you were holding his hand earlier, does this mean you're waking up? I hope so, and Nagi does, too, right, Nagi-love?"

The Weiss archer turned to smile at the telekinetic who only blinked in confusion for a moment then agreed automatically, "Absolutely, Omi-koi."

Nagi swallowed convulsively and tried not to think about how terrified he felt by the unbelievable number of tubes and wires that wove over and under the light sheet that was tented up by the large cast on Ken's left arm. Midnight blue eyes tried to find something else to look at and found themselves snared on the hideous sight of a pair of chest tubes that extended up from beneath the sheet carrying away the liquid that was trying to gather in the injured man's lungs and chest cavity. [5] His eyes followed the flow of unpleasant looking, blood tainted fluid as it was swept away into a noisy suction device on the floor which was surrounded by wires and monitor plugs.

Fighting a feeling of light-headedness and nausea, the telekinetic added in a slightly weak voice, "I hope you feel better really soon, Ken-kun. We're all worried about you."

A tiny frown marred Omi's face as he asked, "Nagi? Are you okay, love?"

"I'm fine," Nagi replied automatically and desperately hoped he wasn't about to pass out as he added, "Why don't you talk to Ken-kun for us both, koi? I just don't know what to say."

Omi didn't look like he believed him entirely, yet didn't want to lose his chance to "visit" with his unconscious teammate and agreed, "All right." He gave his companion another wary glance and then turned his full attention to the man in the bed, talking about how much he wanted Ken to awaken and losing himself in the hope of thinking the chocolate-eyed man might do so soon.

When he ran out of encouraging words, the youngest member of Weiss started talking about Nagi's presence again, explaining about how he'd found him on the bridge the day before and how brave and daring he thought the telekinetic had been saving him the way he had. Without thinking about it, he reached out to brush a long blond hair he assumed Yohji had inadvertently left behind from Ken's sheets and accidentally pushed the cloth back, exposing where the chest tubes entered the injured man's body.

The horrifying rows of metal staples that were now holding Ken's chest together as well as the ghastly punctures the tubing ran through were nothing new to Omi and he continued to chatter away as he did a quick check of some of the other damage as well. Experienced cerulean eyes were satisfied that the numerous incisions required for the extensive renal and spinal work weren't as bad as they could've been.

By this point, most of Omi's words were for Nagi's ears as well as a way to communicate their presence to the silent teen he was examining, but when he glanced at his boyfriend to see if he was enjoying the praise, he was startled enough that he shouted, "*Nagi*?! What's wrong?!"

The Schwarz psychic's face had a chalky appearance, the skin was white and had a dull, matte look which left his deep blue eyes looking disproportionately huge as he stared in terror at the sight of Ken's surgery-ravaged body. Trying to pull himself together before the darkness he felt reaching for him could claim him, Nagi turned towards Omi, lifted one hand in appeal, then toppled backwards and crashed to the floor, taking the suction device with him and becoming hopelessly entangled in tubing and wires.

The sable-haired youth simply lay on the floor, motionless and unaware. Omi felt his heart lurch as he realized Nagi's body position eerily echoed Ken's from the morning before. A flood of blood-soaked memories rushed to the forefront of his mind and overlapped the images of the two, causing him to imagine his boyfriend's own body riddled with bullets and paralyzing him in spite of the emergency that confronted him.

*****

To be continued.

Author's Notes:

[1] Gomenasai, but I have no clue how grades are assigned in Japanese schools, so I've used American standards here. For those more familiar with a 4.0 scale instead of a letter grade system, a "B" is a 3.0 and I frankly see Crawford as being only *barely* tolerant of any grade that low in the first place.

[2] The encouraging and occasionally congratulatory cheer "Ganbatte!" is one of Japanese's wonderful perfect summations of many things. It can mean everything from "Hang in there!" to "Keep going!" to "All the best!" to "This is great, do more!" as it is used in notes to the Llama by several culturally clever folks. As to the meaning Omi was using, it was some of all of the above and probably included an implied encouraging hug at the same time if I know the genki assassin as well as I claim to.

[3] In answer to a question from a reader who had never heard of it, Yahtzee is a Milton Bradley game which uses five dice which are thrown a certain number of times to get various combinations. A Large Straight is a sequence of five in a row such as 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Mentioned later is a Full House which is three of a kind and two of another. The actual "Yahtzee" itself is five of a kind and is often the hardest to get.

[4] Such an adorable tradition! Even here in the US it's not uncommon to see these "pinky promises" among girls, but when I saw two boys exchanging one in CLAMP's delightfully bishounen-packed manga series "X," I realized it wasn't too hard to imagine Omi doing it and who better to share one with than Nagi?

[5] I wish the medical equipment and surgical wound descriptions offered here were more figments of my imagination, but they aren't. They are based on my experiences with my mother's open heart surgery several years ago when my father chose me as the sole offspring to be notified of the traumatic event and was expected to be there and be strong for him. Suffice it to say, what follows is a modification of my own experiences fed through Nagi's eyes and while my final reaction to it didn't include the same dramatics as Nagi's, my own left me badly shaken. The moral of the story is that if you're in an ICU or a CCU and someone decides to check the incisions and you're not sure you can handle it, look away. There's no shame in admitting certain horrors should never be associated with someone you love.

Full Author's Notes to Run at Conclusion.

Please be advised: Parts 25 & 26 will be posted together.