El Hazard belongs to AIC, Ah Megami Sama belongs to………Okay, so I forgot.
Leave me alone…
This is yet another lost fic. I'm trying to figure out which of my abandoned fics would be best to finish out. Enjoy and review if you like them.
If Wishes Were Fishes
"WORK HARDER, YOU EXO-BONEHEADS!!!" Jinnai shouted to the Bugrom who were trying to move a stone pillar into place to hold up a part of the new hive's ceiling. He sighed as the pillar fell over for the third time. "YOU'RE ALL PATHETIC!" he screamed at his Bugrom workers. The ruler of all El Hazard (in theory) stalked off to a nearby pond. He needed a minute to think.
His war against Roshtaria was not going well. Ever since he had returned from Cretaria, he had been trying to think of ways to get his hands on that dimensional technology Makoto had built. So far, no luck.
"Oooooooooooooooooooh! Damn you, Makoto Mizuhara," he hissed.
He blinked suddenly. Something was happening in the center of the pond. It was rippling and glowing with an intense light. He was about to call for his Bugrom soldiers when the light coalesced into a human form.
"I'm here!"
Jinnai just blinked.
The light had turned into a young girl, no older than fourteen years old. She was looking around in confusion. "Hmmmm....Nope, definitely not Japan...."
Jinnai noticed that the girl was standing *on top* of the water without getting her feet wet. "Who...Who are you?"
The girl noticed him and smiled. "Hi! Is your name 'Jinnai' by any chance?"
Jinnai nodded.
"I am the goddess Skuld," the girl announced, twirling around once. "And I'm here on behalf of the Goddess Relief Office to grant you a wish."
Jinnai just stared.
"It was tough finding you," the girl, Skuld told him. "You didn't appear on any of the mortal planes where I usually work, so I had to run a trace program post dated one year ago, then use my computer to track your movement to Shininome High School and analyze the energy that brought you here. But here I am!"
"That's..." Jinnai grinned. "Excellent," he said. He stood up. "So you're a goddess, huh?"
"That's right." The girl appeared nervous for a moment. "Um...You're not going to tell anyone that I'm a year late, are you? This is my first assignment, and I don't want to disappoint Belldandy..."
"Oh, of course not!" Jinnai told her with a smile. "But before we go any further, can you prove you are what you say you are?"
Skuld blinked. She reached into a pocket on her rather overdone outfit and pulled out a card. She handed it to Jinnai.
"'Skuld, Goddess of the Future, Goddess Relief Office,'" Jinnai read. He handed it back to her. "I was thinking of something a little more substantial."
"Like what?"
"Hmmmmm...." he thought. He pointed into the distance. "Blow up that mountain."
"ARE YOU STUPID!?" Skuld shot at him. "There could be people living there!"
Jinnai thought for a moment. He didn't want to antagonize this girl if she had real powers. "Okay, then you think of a way to prove it."
Skuld blinked again. "Hmmmm....." She reached behind her and pulled a large mallet from a holster strapped to her back. She found a nearby boulder and jumped up, swinging the mallet downward and striking the large rock. The boulder turned to dust and disintegrated.
"YES!" Jinnai cried in triumph. He began to laugh maniacally.
"Um...Could you stop doing that?" Skuld asked. "It's *really* annoying."
Jinnai stopped laughing. "Oh...Sure."
"Now," Skuld said exasperated, "Do you have a wish in mind?"
"Yes, I do," Jinnai said triumphantly. "I wish..."
"Just a sec."
Jinnai blinked. "What?"
Skuld was looking through some file folders. She quickly scanned over a few documents and looked up. "What's your *full* name?" she asked.
Jinnai blinked. "Katsuhiko Jinnai. Now then, I wish..."
"Stop," Skuld told him. She sighed and hung her head low. "I'm sorry...I've made a horrible mistake."
"What?"
"I'm looking for *Nanami* Jinnai. I'm really sorry," she told him sheepishly.
"WHAT?!"
"Yeah, I didn't realize until just now. I'm sorry."
"WHY DOES SHE GET A WISH AND I DON'T!?" Jinnai screamed.
Skuld stood her ground. She took out a file folder with Jinnai's picture on it. "Um...Because she's a good person with a gentle spirit, and you're a," she read off the folder, "'A psychotic megalomaniac hell-bent on world domination.'" She closed the file.
"I AM NOT!" Jinnai screamed. "I'm kind, and gentle, and *nice*!" He smiled to prove it.
Skuld didn't seem impressed. "Uh huh," she said simply.
"Oooooooooh! You *will* use your powers and grant me a wish!" he told her.
Skuld blinked. "Hey! Are you getting pushy!?"
"SOLDIERS!!"
Six Bugrom appeared behind the grinning Jinnai.
Skuld sighed. "I should have known something like this would happen. She whispered a quick spell and jumped back into the pond. There was a flash of light, then nothing.
Jinnai screamed. "FIND HER!"
The bugs jumped into the pond, searching for the girl, but came up with nothing.
Jinnai growled.
"Mr. Jinnai?"
He turned and found Diva walking up to him, her belly distended from the eggs growing within her. "What has you so upset?"
Jinnai smiled. "I'm not upset, Diva," he said. "I just found a new secret weapon...and I know where it's going..." He broke off into laughter.
"Udon up!" Nanami cried as she hit a bell on the counter. Before the waitress had picked up the bowl, Nanami was back to work at the stove. The restauraunt was bustling today. There was a big Alliance convention in Florishtica this month, and that translated to big business. It was getting late, however, and the dinner crowd was starting to file out.
Nanami took a moment to rest and wipe her brow with a nearby rag. "All that's left now is the dishes," she muttered. "Hey," she called to the waitress at the register. "How'd we do tonight?"
"Great, Ms. Nanami! Take a look!" The waitress held up a wad of Roshtal bills.
Nanami giggled in joy. "Pretty soon I'll be the richest woman in Roshtaria!" She giggled again. Her giggling ended in a sigh. "But first, the dishes."
She turned to the sink and blinked. There were bubbles coming from the bottom of the dish-filled basin. She shrugged it off and began to scrub. Suddenly, there was a flash of light. Nanami screamed and fell backwards onto the kitchen floor. When she looked up again, she found that the light had dissipated, leaving a young girl standing on her sink.
"Hi, are you *Nanami* Jinnai?"
"Wha...What if I was?" Nanami asked.
The girl breathed a sigh of relief. "Finally," she said. "My name is Skuld. I'm with the Goddess Relief Office." She hopped down from the sink and stood before Nanami, offering a hand to help her up.
Nanami allowed herself to be helped to her feet. "Um...Hi," she said uncertainly.
Skuld smiled. "I'm here to grant you your fondest desire," she said importantly. "You have been judged as a good person, so you are to be granted one wish."
"A wish?" Nanami said stupidly.
Skuld nodded. "I would've been here earlier, but no one in this world has a phone." She seemed to pout.
"Um...I'm sorry?"
Skuld sighed. "So, what's it gonna be?"
Nanami smiled. She wasn't sure how this little girl appeared in her sink, but it was obvious by her clothing that she was a foreigner, maybe even the daughter of one of the foreign dignitaries. She had better get her home as soon as she could. There might even be a reward. Nanami was practically drooling at the prospect of a healthy reward...
Skuld arched an eyebrow. "Are you okay?"
"Huh?" Nanami asked, snapping out of it. She smiled. "Well, little...Skuld was it?" Skuld nodded. "How about you and I go find your mom, huh?"
Skuld's eyes narrowed. "I'm *not* a lost kid, lady."
"Sure you're not," Nanami said, humoring the young girl. "But we really should find your mother..."
Skuld pulled away from her. "Kami sama! Are all Jinnai's this dense!?"
Nanami paused. "Huh? What do you mean?"
"I ran into that charming psychotic you call an older brother. What a maroon..."
"Katsuhiko?" Nanami asked darkly. "When did you talk to him?"
Skuld looked sheepish. "Well...you see...When I arrived, I kinda got my Jinnai's mixed up. I almost gave him your wish..."
"Hmmph! If I knew where the pasty faced little jerk was, I'd clock him!"
"He's that way," Skuld said, pointing north. "About twenty miles away. He's building some kind of bee hive or something. Can you believe he wanted me to blow up a mountain?"
Nanami blinked. It certainly *sounded* like she had spoken to her brother.
"I knew you couldn't handle it..." A voice called out from behind them. Skuld grimaced and turned to find her older sister standing there.
"How did you get here anyway!?" Skuld asked sharply. "El Hazard doesn't have any TV's!"
"I have other means," Urd said haughtily, grinning at Skuld.
"I bet!" Skuld shot back.
"Um...Who are you?"
Urd smiled. "Oh, I'm Urd, Skuld's big sister." She shook Nanami's hand. Skuld just fumed.
"I don't need your help!" Skuld shot at the older goddess.
"Of course you don't!" Urd told her. She grinned. "I'm sure *all* goddesses confuse their clients..."
Skuld reached into a pocket and produced a strange-looking device. She pointed it at Urd and scowled. "You wanna fight?!"
Urd grit her teeth. Lightning flashed between her hands. "Bring it on, little sister..."
"HEY! NOT IN MY RESTAURAUNT!" Nanami screamed. The two goddesses looked at her in shock. She glared at the two. "This is *my* restauraunt...*MY* cash cow! I'd appreciate it if you *don't* trash it!"
Urd and Skuld looked sheepish.
"Now if you will excuse me," Nanami said haughtily, picking up a basket off the counter, "I have to go bring Makoto his dinner." She started for the door.
"Hey! What about your wish!?" Skuld asked.
"Look, I don't know what you two whackos want, but I'm busy!" She stormed out the door.
Skuld chased after her. Urd just smiled.
"Makoto?" she whispered. Her smile grew into a grin and she followed.
"You know, most people would be jazzed to get a wish!" Skuld told Nanami, running after her as she marched down the street.
"Look, I'm sure you're having fun with your little game, but I'm really very busy!"
"Busy...with Makoto?" Urd asked, appearing from the shadows of a nearby alley.
Nanami stopped dead in her tracks and turned red. "He's a valued customer," she told her.
"Uh huh," Urd said taking a step forward. "I bet."
"What are you doing now?" Skuld asked her sister, folding her arms over her chest.
"Oh....Nothing..." Urd said. Suddenly, she lunged forward and grabbed the basket out of Nanami's hands.
"HEY! YOU GIVE THAT BACK!"
Urd opened the basket and began inspecting the contents. "Soup, flowers....Ooooooh! Wine!"
Nanami turned an even deeper shade of red. "Presentation is...is everything!"
"Of course it is," Urd purred.
Skuld jumped up and grabbed the basket back, handing it to Nanami. "You're such a jerk!" she said.
"You know," Urd said slyly. "You have that wish..."
"What do you mean?" Nanami said as she started down the road again.
"Yeah, what do you mean?" Skuld added.
"I mean, if you really want this guy...All you have to do is say, 'I wish so and so loved me.' Then fill in the blanks."
Nanami paused as if considering it, then turned to Urd. "Listen, lady, I have important things to do, so could you take your freaky little sister and leave me alone!?"
"Hey! Who's 'freaky?!'" Skuld asked angrily.
Nanami didn't answer. She continued down the street.
"What's *her* problem!?" Skuld asked, miffed by her client's reaction.
Urd just smiled. "She's smitten as a kitten."
"Huh?"
"I think I'm going to...assist...on this one."
"Like hell you are!" Skuld told her.
"Relax," Urd told her. "It's still your job, you give her the wish...But I think she needs the help of a Goddess of Love...Don't you?"
Skuld arched an eyebrow. "Please...Please let this go," Skuld begged.
"Oh, no, no, no," Urd said with a giggle. "Think of it this way: She gets the guy, and she doesn't have to use up her wish."
Skuld thought about it. "That...makes sense..."
"Of course it makes sense!" Urd assured her, wrapping her arm around Skuld's shoulder and giving her a noogie. "Now, let's get to work!"
"Makoto chan!"
Makoto Mizuhara looked up from the book he was reading and rubbed his tired eyes. "Oh, hi, Nanami."
"I brought you dinner," Nanami said with a smile, putting the basket on the library table. "I thought you could use it."
"Hope you brought enough for two," Afura said, appearing from a aisle of book shelves.
Nanami smiled uncomfortably. "Sure," she said. She removed the two bowls of soup and set them out on the table. "Here ya go."
"Aren't you having any?" Makoto asked.
"Um...No, I just came to drop off dinner for you and Afura. I know you two are working hard."
"Thanks."
"Yeah, sure," Nanami said, a little disappointed. She had made *two* bowls for a reason.
"Oh, Makoto, come take a look at this," Afura beckoned. "I found this old map of El Hazard, and what I *think* are sites where parts for the Eye of God were manufactured." The wind priestess started for a map on the other side of the room.
"Really?" Makoto asked, joining her. Nanami followed a moment later.
As the three were looking at the map, a vial in the fingers of a slender hand appeared from around a corner and dropped a few drops of purple fluid into one of the soup bowls.
"It looks like a lot of the components were produced in the area that is now Ganom," Makoto was saying.
"Yes. It's possible that there are still ruins in and around the city that might have something for us," Afura told him. She walked back to the table and picked up one of the soup bowls...
"What is that stuff?" Skuld whispered from her crouched position near the doorway.
Urd smiled as she screwed the top back onto the vial she had used. "It's a little insurance policy."
"Oh, jeez! Not another love potion!"
"This one will work," Urd assured her.
Skuld looked around the corner. "Um...Which bowl did you pour that stuff in?"
"The left one. Why?"
Afura sipped another spoonful of soup and blinked. "Nanami, did you change the recipe?"
Skuld grabbed Urd by the collar and began shaking. "Well, what now?!" she hissed.
"Hmmm....This could be a problem," Urd said.
"BRILLIANT DEDUCTION, MURDER-SHE-WROTE!" Skuld cried quietly.
"No," Nanami said. "Why?"
Afura blinked again and shrugged. "I guess it's just me."
"Oh, damn!" Makoto swore. "I left that translation book in my room!"
"I'll get it," Nanami volunteered happily. "What's it look like?"
"It's right on my desk. Big and green. You can't miss it."
"Okay," Nanami said. "Be right back." She started for the door. She paused as she passed Afura, who was standing stock still, the bowl of soup still in her hands, with a weird look on her face. "Ms. Afura? Are you okay?"
The wind priestess was staring right at Makoto. "Wonderful," she breathed.
"Oh, okay. Be right back." Nanami walked out the door.
"She's coming!" Skuld cried.
"Uh...oh...Problem," Urd commented.
Nanami turned the corner and saw them crouching there. "Oh, it's you. What are you doing here?"
"NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL!" Skuld cried.
Urd began backing down the hall. "We're just here for the tour... Come along, Skuld." The two goddesses started down the hallway.
"Halt," Nanami ordered. "What are you two up to?"
"Up to? What do you mean?" Urd asked.
Nanami's eyes narrowed. "I mean..."
"AHHHHHHH!!!! MS. AFURA!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"
Nanami gasped and turned back the way she came. "Makoto chan!?" She turned and found the goddesses trying to slink down the hall. "HOLD IT, YOU TWO!"
They stopped. "Ah, crap," Urd muttered.
"Why couldn't you just let me do my job?" Skuld uttered.
Nanami ran back into the library.
"Ms. Afura?! What the hell?!" Makoto cried. Afura had him pushed over a table and was now trying to unbutton his shirt.
"You don't understand, Makoto!" Afura gasped as she kissed his neck. "Watching you work so hard every day! I see how brilliant you are! Do you know what's it's like?! To have no one to have an intelligent conversation with!?" She began licking his neck as she pinned him to the table.
"Ms. Afura! I'm flattered, really, but..."
Before he could finished, she kissed him. Makoto blinked in shock. No girl had ever French kissed him before, and the sensations caught him by surprise.
"Hey, Makoto! Afura!" Shayla called from the next room. "You guys almost done?! I thought we'd go get a late dinner!"
"Ms. Shayla!" Makoto called for help.
Afura covered his mouth with her hand. "Shhhhhh," she cooed. "Just leave it to me," she whispered, giving his cheek a tender kiss. She raised her voice to a shout. "Sorry, Shayla. Makoto and I are pulling an all- nighter." Makoto's eyes went wide.
"AFURA! WHAT THE?!" Nanami cried as she reentered the room.
"NANAMI! HELP ME!" Makoto begged.
"Are you guys sure, I mean..." Shayla stopped as she entered the room and saw Makoto and Afura in a rather intimate position. "You....scheming.........BITCH!" the fire priestess screamed. Fire energy sprang from her headband.
"Shayla," Afura said calmly. "I know this comes as a shock, but Makoto and I are lovers, and I think it would behoove you to accept that."
"WHAT?!"
"WHAT?!"
"WHAT?!"
Shayla was practically breathing fire by now. She marched forward and began rolling up her sleeves...
"Shayla," Afura said warningly, standing up. "Don't make me choose between you and the man I love.."
"WHAT?!"
"WHAT?!"
"WHAT?!"
As the two priestesses began to power up, Nanami glanced over her shoulder and saw the two goddesses trying to sneak past the open doorway. "HEY, YOU TWO! FREEZE!"
"Can't! Very busy!" Urd called back. "Faster!" she hissed to Skuld.
Nanami balled her hands into fists and followed them. "What the hell did you do to her?!" Nanami shouted at their backs.
Urd turned, but continued down the hall, walking backwards. "What makes you think *I* had anything to do with it!?"
"Urd!" Skuld said scornfully. "Reverse it."
"Reverse what?" the love goddess asked innocently.
Just then, a mixture of wind and fire energy came through the door and blasted the far wall. Angry shouts could be heard from the library as well as Makoto begging the two women to calm down.
"THAT!" Nanami said, pointing back at the carnage.
Urd looked from the angry looks Nanami was giving her to the angry looks Skuld was giving her and sighed. "Fine," she said in defeat. "Come on." She started back toward the library.
When they reentered the library, Shayla was straddling Afura with her fist raised over her head. "I can't believe my best friend would do that to me!!" the fire priestess was wailing.
Urd began looking through a small satchel. "How did she feel about him before?" she asked Nanami.
"Um...She was his friend, but nothing...well...romantic..."
"Uh huh...Let's see..." Urd began looking through different vials while Shayla and Afurd continued to roll around on the floor, tearing at each other's eyes.
"Could you hurry this up?" Nanami hissed at her.
"Ah! Here we go!" Urd cried, holding up a vial of brown liquid. "Love plus hate equals *indifference!* Hold her down for me and get the boy over here."
"Shayla! Hold Afura down!" Nanami shouted.
"Trust me!" Shayla growled, "That won't be a problem!" She gave Afura's hair a sharp tug as she straddled her. Afura shrieked in pain and grabbed Shayla by the throat.
"Makoto chan," Nanami said sweetly. "Would you come here for a sec?"
Makoto, who was cowering in fear not far away, looked up in fright. "Are you kidding?!"
"Just get over here!" Nanami ordered. She reached out and took his arm, pulling closer to where Afura and Shayla were.
"Okay," Urd said, preparing the vial, "She has to be looking right at him, okay?"
"Right!" Nanami said. "Shayla, grab her head."
Afura screamed as Shayla grabbed a handful of her hair.
"Thank you, that'll do nicely," Urd said as she upended the vial and poured the contents down the wind priestess' throat. Afura nearly spit the vile fluid out, but after awhile she calmed down again.
"How do you feel, Ms. Afura?" Makoto asked.
Afura took a few breaths....then reached out and gave Shayla's bright red hair and hard yank.
"AUGH!" Shayla cried.
"Much better, thank you."
"I can't believe you did that to me!!" Nanami bit out angrily as she paced back and forth in front of Urd and Skuld, who were kneeling on the floor, their heads bowed dejectedly. Nanami had forced marched them back to her kitchen after the whole Makoto/Afura escapade had been resolved. "I don't need your help! I can win Makoto chan on my own!"
"Actually..." Urd began.
"SHUT IT!"
Urd shut her mouth.
"Now I want you two to leave!"
Skuld blinked. "What about your wish!"
"Screw my wish! Just get out!"
"Sheesh," Skuld muttered. "I guess the temper is a genetic thing...."
"WHAT WAS THAT!?" Nanami cried.
"Nothing!" Skuld said quickly. Skuld thought fast. She still had a job to do, and if she left, how was she going to do it and prove to Belldandy that she was capable of being a real goddess? An idea came to her. "Why don't you let us help out in your restauraunt?"
"Huh?" Nanami asked with a blink.
"HUH?!" Urd echoed with a touch of horror.
"Yeah," Skuld said with a smile. "To make up for what we did?"
"Hmmmm..." Nanami thought.
"No! Wait! Bad idea!" Urd said.
Nanami saw how miserable this made Urd and liked the plan immediately. "Okay. But I'm not paying you."
"That's okay," Skuld said.
Urd sighed dejectedly. "Domestic labor...This is Belldandy's specialty..."
Skuld scowled. "Well, you *are* helping! It was *your* idea, and *your* potion."
Urd sighed again. "Fine..."
"Hmmph!" Nanami snorted. "You're just lucky I managed to convince the others that the two of you were foreign doctors, otherwise, Shayla and Afura would've both had your heads!"
"Yeah, yeah..." Urd said, rolling her eyes.
Nanami sighed. "I take it you've never worked in a kitchen before, so you'll just waitress."
"Yea," Urd said unenthusiastically. "Joy..."
Nanami turned to Skuld. "What about you? You mind helping me cook?"
Skuld gave her a smart salute. "No problem! I've been watching my sister, Belldandy, cook for a year!"
Nanami actually smiled at her. "Well, then, it's settled." She heard Urd sigh again. She frowned and tossed the goddess turned waitress and apron. "Well, what are you waiting for? Get to work."
Urd groaned as she placed the dirty dishes on the counter. "And remember," Nanami called out from the kitchen. "Be polite to the customers."
"I *am* polite!" Urd shot back. She heard the bell ring announcing the presence of more customers. She turned to them. "Yeah, whaddya want?!"
Two young women were standing at the door staring at her. The shorter one had purple hair and seemed to be licking her lips. The taller one, with brown hair, who looked remarkably like that Makoto boy, was staring at her wide eyed.
"I mean," Urd corrected herself sweetly. "What can I do for you?"
Fatora stood there, enthralled. "HUMINA! HUMINA! HUMINA!" she cried.
"Huh?" Urd said. Before she could get another word out, the little, purple-haired girl had latched onto her waist.
"Hi, there," Alielle said, with a smile.
"Er..."
Fatora shook the stars out of her eyes and grinned. "I see Nanami took my advice and did something about the view around here."
"Um...This way," Urd said, leading Fatora to a table with Alielle still latched firmly to her waist. She managed to pry the girl off of her, and the two were quickly seated. "So, what can I get for you?" Urd asked, taking out her notepad.
Fatora rested her chin in her hands coquettishly and smiled. "That depends on what's on the menu."
"I'm suddenly in the mood for melons," Alielle noted with a grin.
Urd blinked. "Why...don't...I get you something to drink while you think about it?"
"Very well," Fatora said imperiously. "We'll have wine...in three glasses." She grinned.
"O...kay..." Urd quickly rushed to the kitchen. "Skuld! Skuld! Take over for me!"
Skuld looked back over her shoulder as she stirred the pot of stew on the stovetop. "No way! I'm having fun cooking!"
"Please!?" Urd begged.
"NO!"
"I overheard the order," Nanami said with an evil grin, depositing a bottle of wine and three glasses on the counter in front of Urd. "Go on."
Urd looked desperate. "You can't be serious!"
"Call it your penance for what happened earlier," Nanami told her. "In this restauraunt, the needs and wants of the customer come first."
Urd's eyes narrowed. "I'll get you for this," she told Skuld. Skuld responded by sticking her tongue out at her sister. Urd picked up the wine and glasses and proceeded back to the table. Nanami and Skuld could just make out bits and pieces of the conversation.
"I don't think we got your name," Nanami heard Fatora say slyly.
"It's...um....Skuld," Urd told them.
Nanami turned her attention back to the young goddess at the stove. "So, how's it going over here?" Skuld offered up a tasting dish for Nanami to try. Nanami took a sip and blinked. "Wow! This is really good!"
"Thanks. Belldandy taught me to make it."
Fatora's voice came floating into the kitchen from the dining room. "So tell me, tall and beautiful, how long have you been in Florishtica?"
"Er...only a few hours," Urd told her.
"I see. Well, then I insist you stay at the palace as my royal guest."
Alielle's giggle of delight was heard. The two cooks ignored it.
"Belldandy, huh?" Nanami asked. "Another sister?"
Skuld nodded. "She's the reason I'm here, really. Ever since Keiichi made that stupid wish, I've been trying to cover for her."
"Who's Keiichi?" Nanami asked.
Skuld rolled her eyes. "Some bonehead who made a *really* stupid wish." Nanami blinked in puzzlement. "He actually wished that Belldandy would be his girlfriend forever! Can you believe that!?"
"Aww...That's kind of sweet..."
"It is not!" Skuld cried.
"Well...Is he mean to her?"
Skuld scowled. "No," she mumbled.
"Does he hit her?"
"Of course not! Belldandy would fry him!"
"Does he fool around on her?" Nanami asked.
Skuld's eyes narrowed, and she turned back to the stew. "You don't get it," she muttered.
"Well, what's wrong with him, then? He sounds like a nice guy."
"He *is* a nice guy!" Skuld cried. "But that's not the point! He's such a doofus! I swear!"
Fatora's voice came back into the room. "Oh my! I spilled wine all over your beautiful blouse! Here, let me help wipe that up..."
"It's okay," Urd said deadpan. "Really..."
"Oh, wait! Some spilled on your thigh!" Alielle spoke up. "I'll get it!"
"Hey! Stop! Get off me!" Urd cried.
"I see," Nanami said, ignoring what was happening in the dining room. She smiled. "Your big sister found a boyfriend, and you're jealous because she spends all of her free time with him, and not with you."
"You're just being stupid!" Skuld told her.
"Uh huh. Whatever you say." She patted Skuld on the head while the goddess glowered.
"You know, I'm here to grant you a wish, not be talked down to like a little four year old!" Skuld shot at her.
Nanami groaned. "Again with that wish. When are you going to give it up?"
"When you make your wish!"
"Fine, I wish..."
"STOP!" Skuld cried.
Nanami blinked. "What? I'm just doing like you asked. If it'll get you and your weirdo sister out of here, I'll make a wish."
"But you're doing it for the wrong reasons!" Skuld cried. "Wishes can change people's entire lives! And you only get *one*, and that's only if you're extremely lucky! Don't blow it on something stupid!"
"HEY!" they heard Urd shout. "THERE'S NOT EVEN ANY WINE THERE!"
"Pays to be safe," Fatora told her.
"Isn't there something you *really* want?" Skuld asked quietly. "Something that you won't see any other way except through this wish?"
Nanami stared at her and began to blush. "Well...There is one thing..."
"Great! What is it?!"
"I can't tell you that!"
Skuld glared at her. "You suck."
Jinnai looked out from beneath his cloak and smiled through the Roshtarian night at the lit building across the street. "There it is. My sister's pathetic little diner." Behind him, in a similar cloak, Groucho mumbled something.
"So what if it smells good?!" Jinnai retorted. "Let's just get in, grab my new secret weapon, and get out again. Remember, grab that mallet of her's first, or else she'll turn you into paste."
Groucho babbled something fearfully, something that sounded a lot like, "Me?!"
"Yes, you!" Jinnai told him. "You can't expect the Grand Chancellor, Lord God Jinnai, Leader of the Bugrom Empire to put himself at risk! Now get in there!" He got behind Groucho and gave him a push toward the diner.
Groucho dug in his heels and shook his head from side to side frantically.
"Exo-bonehead!" Jinnai cried. "She won't turn you into paste if you catch her off guard!" He gave the bug a swift kick to the rear. "Now move it!"
Groucho seemed to sigh in defeat and stole quickly across the street towards the diner.
"Soup's ready!" Skuld announced as she carried the pot into the dining room. What she saw when she got there made her laugh out loud.
Fatora and Alielle had Urd backed into a corner...literally.
"Look, I'm really flattered, but I think it's dinner time..."
"Dinner can wait," Fatora said in a sultry voice. "Let's skip right to dessert first."
Urd's eyes narrowed. "I've tried being polite about this. I don't want to hurt you."
Fatora's grin widened. "No, by all means...hurt me."
Urd's back hit the wall.
"Just leave yourself in our hands," Fatora told her. "I guarantee you'll enjoy it. Only women know what women truly want."
Urd was saved by a scream from the kitchen. As one, the group turned. Nanami was screaming again.
Skuld brought out her mallet and ran back in the direction she had come. Urd pushed through Fatora and Alielle and followed, the princess and her lover right on her heels.
When they got to the kitchen they saw Nanami standing in front of a large purple bug, wielding a frying pan.
"Bring it on, bucko!" Nanami cried, hefting the pan. "I'm ready for ya!"
"Bugrom!" Alielle screamed.
"This place is infested!" Fatora cried. "I'm calling the Better Business Bureau!"
Groucho looked back and forth between the women in confusion. Which one was Lord God Jinnai's new weapon? He didn't know. He saw a small, dark-haired girl with a hammer and guessed that she must be the one. He took a step towards her...
Just as Nanami jumped up and swung the pan around.
*CLANG!*
Skuld raised her mallet as Groucho stumbled back, his hands on his head where Nanami had hit him. He stumbled into a light switch, and the kitchen lights went out.
Alielle screamed, "FATORA, HOLD ME!" searching for Fatora.
Fatora screamed, "SKULD, HOLD ME!" searching for Urd.
*CLANG!*
"OOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!" Fatora screamed!
There was a crash as Skuld's mallet hit something made of concrete, but in the dark, no one could see what it was.
"HEY! WHO'S TOUCHING ME!?" Nanami cried out.
"You're welcome!" Alielle said with a giggle.
"What about that bug!?" Skuld screamed.
They heard Urd scream.
"ALIELLE!" Nanami shouted in frustration.
"That wasn't me!" the purple-haired teenager called out.
The lights came on again. Four women stood in the middle of a warzone, blinking at one another in confusion. The kitchen was all but demolished. Fatora was rubbing her head where Nanami's pan had struck her.
Skuld looked from side to side, her mallet lowered. "Hey, where did that bug go?"
"I have a more important question," Fatora said irritably, "Where did Skuld go?"
"I'm right here!" Skuld told her.
"No, I mean the hot one playing hard to get!" Fatora told her.
Nanami looked around. "Where *is* Urd?"
Jinnai laughed maniacally as he and Groucho ran down the street. He'd won. His new secret weapon was wrapped in Groucho's cloak, being carried over the Bugrom's shoulder while she kicked and screamed to be let out.
"YES! ONCE AGAIN, LORD GOD JINNAI PREVAILS!!!" He laughed again.
The woman in the cloak screamed inaudibly, kicking at Groucho for all she was worth.
"Quick! Groucho! Down this alley!" The two turned into a darkened alley. "Put her down right here." Jinnai pointed at the ground at his feet.
Groucho muttered something like, "Orkay," and unceremoniously dumped his cargo onto the floor.
The girl hit the ground with a startled, "Ack!"
Jinnai folded his arms over his chest and grinned as his new weapon began to climb out of the cloak. "Now, then, you are here now and will do my bi....Huh?"
The woman who crawled out of the cloak, rubbing her painful rump, was not the girl he had met at the Bugrom hive, but an older girl with silver- white hair.
"GROUCHO!! THIS ISN'T MY NEW SECRET WEAPON!! IT'S JUST SOME WORTHLESS GIRL!!"
"Watch who you're calling, 'worthless,' mortal!" Urd shot at him.
Jinnai ignored her and turned to Groucho. "Well, even if she's not my weapon, she might be something better. We could use her as a hostage."
As he said this, Urd was rising angrily to her feet. He turned to her.
"Now, then, you'll do exactly as I say or else Groucho here will grind you into paste, got it?"
"Paste," Groucho repeated.
Urd's eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, "Are you....*threatening* me?" Energy began to crackle at her fingertips.
Jinnai blinked. "Now, see here! Behave or...."
"Or what?" Urd asked dangerously. Urd raised her finger...
Half of Florishtica was awakened by explosion and bright flashes of light coming from a downtown alley. Anyone close enough to actually see what was happening would've seen a teenaged boy riding atop a large, purple bug, as it ran pell mell down the street.
"RUN, IDIOT! RUN!!" Jinnai screamed, looking behind himself in fear.
Groucho muttered something and ran as fast as he could to safety.
Back in the alley, Urd raised her finger to her lips and gave it a little kiss. "Yes! I've still got it!"
This is yet another lost fic. I'm trying to figure out which of my abandoned fics would be best to finish out. Enjoy and review if you like them.
If Wishes Were Fishes
"WORK HARDER, YOU EXO-BONEHEADS!!!" Jinnai shouted to the Bugrom who were trying to move a stone pillar into place to hold up a part of the new hive's ceiling. He sighed as the pillar fell over for the third time. "YOU'RE ALL PATHETIC!" he screamed at his Bugrom workers. The ruler of all El Hazard (in theory) stalked off to a nearby pond. He needed a minute to think.
His war against Roshtaria was not going well. Ever since he had returned from Cretaria, he had been trying to think of ways to get his hands on that dimensional technology Makoto had built. So far, no luck.
"Oooooooooooooooooooh! Damn you, Makoto Mizuhara," he hissed.
He blinked suddenly. Something was happening in the center of the pond. It was rippling and glowing with an intense light. He was about to call for his Bugrom soldiers when the light coalesced into a human form.
"I'm here!"
Jinnai just blinked.
The light had turned into a young girl, no older than fourteen years old. She was looking around in confusion. "Hmmmm....Nope, definitely not Japan...."
Jinnai noticed that the girl was standing *on top* of the water without getting her feet wet. "Who...Who are you?"
The girl noticed him and smiled. "Hi! Is your name 'Jinnai' by any chance?"
Jinnai nodded.
"I am the goddess Skuld," the girl announced, twirling around once. "And I'm here on behalf of the Goddess Relief Office to grant you a wish."
Jinnai just stared.
"It was tough finding you," the girl, Skuld told him. "You didn't appear on any of the mortal planes where I usually work, so I had to run a trace program post dated one year ago, then use my computer to track your movement to Shininome High School and analyze the energy that brought you here. But here I am!"
"That's..." Jinnai grinned. "Excellent," he said. He stood up. "So you're a goddess, huh?"
"That's right." The girl appeared nervous for a moment. "Um...You're not going to tell anyone that I'm a year late, are you? This is my first assignment, and I don't want to disappoint Belldandy..."
"Oh, of course not!" Jinnai told her with a smile. "But before we go any further, can you prove you are what you say you are?"
Skuld blinked. She reached into a pocket on her rather overdone outfit and pulled out a card. She handed it to Jinnai.
"'Skuld, Goddess of the Future, Goddess Relief Office,'" Jinnai read. He handed it back to her. "I was thinking of something a little more substantial."
"Like what?"
"Hmmmmm...." he thought. He pointed into the distance. "Blow up that mountain."
"ARE YOU STUPID!?" Skuld shot at him. "There could be people living there!"
Jinnai thought for a moment. He didn't want to antagonize this girl if she had real powers. "Okay, then you think of a way to prove it."
Skuld blinked again. "Hmmmm....." She reached behind her and pulled a large mallet from a holster strapped to her back. She found a nearby boulder and jumped up, swinging the mallet downward and striking the large rock. The boulder turned to dust and disintegrated.
"YES!" Jinnai cried in triumph. He began to laugh maniacally.
"Um...Could you stop doing that?" Skuld asked. "It's *really* annoying."
Jinnai stopped laughing. "Oh...Sure."
"Now," Skuld said exasperated, "Do you have a wish in mind?"
"Yes, I do," Jinnai said triumphantly. "I wish..."
"Just a sec."
Jinnai blinked. "What?"
Skuld was looking through some file folders. She quickly scanned over a few documents and looked up. "What's your *full* name?" she asked.
Jinnai blinked. "Katsuhiko Jinnai. Now then, I wish..."
"Stop," Skuld told him. She sighed and hung her head low. "I'm sorry...I've made a horrible mistake."
"What?"
"I'm looking for *Nanami* Jinnai. I'm really sorry," she told him sheepishly.
"WHAT?!"
"Yeah, I didn't realize until just now. I'm sorry."
"WHY DOES SHE GET A WISH AND I DON'T!?" Jinnai screamed.
Skuld stood her ground. She took out a file folder with Jinnai's picture on it. "Um...Because she's a good person with a gentle spirit, and you're a," she read off the folder, "'A psychotic megalomaniac hell-bent on world domination.'" She closed the file.
"I AM NOT!" Jinnai screamed. "I'm kind, and gentle, and *nice*!" He smiled to prove it.
Skuld didn't seem impressed. "Uh huh," she said simply.
"Oooooooooh! You *will* use your powers and grant me a wish!" he told her.
Skuld blinked. "Hey! Are you getting pushy!?"
"SOLDIERS!!"
Six Bugrom appeared behind the grinning Jinnai.
Skuld sighed. "I should have known something like this would happen. She whispered a quick spell and jumped back into the pond. There was a flash of light, then nothing.
Jinnai screamed. "FIND HER!"
The bugs jumped into the pond, searching for the girl, but came up with nothing.
Jinnai growled.
"Mr. Jinnai?"
He turned and found Diva walking up to him, her belly distended from the eggs growing within her. "What has you so upset?"
Jinnai smiled. "I'm not upset, Diva," he said. "I just found a new secret weapon...and I know where it's going..." He broke off into laughter.
"Udon up!" Nanami cried as she hit a bell on the counter. Before the waitress had picked up the bowl, Nanami was back to work at the stove. The restauraunt was bustling today. There was a big Alliance convention in Florishtica this month, and that translated to big business. It was getting late, however, and the dinner crowd was starting to file out.
Nanami took a moment to rest and wipe her brow with a nearby rag. "All that's left now is the dishes," she muttered. "Hey," she called to the waitress at the register. "How'd we do tonight?"
"Great, Ms. Nanami! Take a look!" The waitress held up a wad of Roshtal bills.
Nanami giggled in joy. "Pretty soon I'll be the richest woman in Roshtaria!" She giggled again. Her giggling ended in a sigh. "But first, the dishes."
She turned to the sink and blinked. There were bubbles coming from the bottom of the dish-filled basin. She shrugged it off and began to scrub. Suddenly, there was a flash of light. Nanami screamed and fell backwards onto the kitchen floor. When she looked up again, she found that the light had dissipated, leaving a young girl standing on her sink.
"Hi, are you *Nanami* Jinnai?"
"Wha...What if I was?" Nanami asked.
The girl breathed a sigh of relief. "Finally," she said. "My name is Skuld. I'm with the Goddess Relief Office." She hopped down from the sink and stood before Nanami, offering a hand to help her up.
Nanami allowed herself to be helped to her feet. "Um...Hi," she said uncertainly.
Skuld smiled. "I'm here to grant you your fondest desire," she said importantly. "You have been judged as a good person, so you are to be granted one wish."
"A wish?" Nanami said stupidly.
Skuld nodded. "I would've been here earlier, but no one in this world has a phone." She seemed to pout.
"Um...I'm sorry?"
Skuld sighed. "So, what's it gonna be?"
Nanami smiled. She wasn't sure how this little girl appeared in her sink, but it was obvious by her clothing that she was a foreigner, maybe even the daughter of one of the foreign dignitaries. She had better get her home as soon as she could. There might even be a reward. Nanami was practically drooling at the prospect of a healthy reward...
Skuld arched an eyebrow. "Are you okay?"
"Huh?" Nanami asked, snapping out of it. She smiled. "Well, little...Skuld was it?" Skuld nodded. "How about you and I go find your mom, huh?"
Skuld's eyes narrowed. "I'm *not* a lost kid, lady."
"Sure you're not," Nanami said, humoring the young girl. "But we really should find your mother..."
Skuld pulled away from her. "Kami sama! Are all Jinnai's this dense!?"
Nanami paused. "Huh? What do you mean?"
"I ran into that charming psychotic you call an older brother. What a maroon..."
"Katsuhiko?" Nanami asked darkly. "When did you talk to him?"
Skuld looked sheepish. "Well...you see...When I arrived, I kinda got my Jinnai's mixed up. I almost gave him your wish..."
"Hmmph! If I knew where the pasty faced little jerk was, I'd clock him!"
"He's that way," Skuld said, pointing north. "About twenty miles away. He's building some kind of bee hive or something. Can you believe he wanted me to blow up a mountain?"
Nanami blinked. It certainly *sounded* like she had spoken to her brother.
"I knew you couldn't handle it..." A voice called out from behind them. Skuld grimaced and turned to find her older sister standing there.
"How did you get here anyway!?" Skuld asked sharply. "El Hazard doesn't have any TV's!"
"I have other means," Urd said haughtily, grinning at Skuld.
"I bet!" Skuld shot back.
"Um...Who are you?"
Urd smiled. "Oh, I'm Urd, Skuld's big sister." She shook Nanami's hand. Skuld just fumed.
"I don't need your help!" Skuld shot at the older goddess.
"Of course you don't!" Urd told her. She grinned. "I'm sure *all* goddesses confuse their clients..."
Skuld reached into a pocket and produced a strange-looking device. She pointed it at Urd and scowled. "You wanna fight?!"
Urd grit her teeth. Lightning flashed between her hands. "Bring it on, little sister..."
"HEY! NOT IN MY RESTAURAUNT!" Nanami screamed. The two goddesses looked at her in shock. She glared at the two. "This is *my* restauraunt...*MY* cash cow! I'd appreciate it if you *don't* trash it!"
Urd and Skuld looked sheepish.
"Now if you will excuse me," Nanami said haughtily, picking up a basket off the counter, "I have to go bring Makoto his dinner." She started for the door.
"Hey! What about your wish!?" Skuld asked.
"Look, I don't know what you two whackos want, but I'm busy!" She stormed out the door.
Skuld chased after her. Urd just smiled.
"Makoto?" she whispered. Her smile grew into a grin and she followed.
"You know, most people would be jazzed to get a wish!" Skuld told Nanami, running after her as she marched down the street.
"Look, I'm sure you're having fun with your little game, but I'm really very busy!"
"Busy...with Makoto?" Urd asked, appearing from the shadows of a nearby alley.
Nanami stopped dead in her tracks and turned red. "He's a valued customer," she told her.
"Uh huh," Urd said taking a step forward. "I bet."
"What are you doing now?" Skuld asked her sister, folding her arms over her chest.
"Oh....Nothing..." Urd said. Suddenly, she lunged forward and grabbed the basket out of Nanami's hands.
"HEY! YOU GIVE THAT BACK!"
Urd opened the basket and began inspecting the contents. "Soup, flowers....Ooooooh! Wine!"
Nanami turned an even deeper shade of red. "Presentation is...is everything!"
"Of course it is," Urd purred.
Skuld jumped up and grabbed the basket back, handing it to Nanami. "You're such a jerk!" she said.
"You know," Urd said slyly. "You have that wish..."
"What do you mean?" Nanami said as she started down the road again.
"Yeah, what do you mean?" Skuld added.
"I mean, if you really want this guy...All you have to do is say, 'I wish so and so loved me.' Then fill in the blanks."
Nanami paused as if considering it, then turned to Urd. "Listen, lady, I have important things to do, so could you take your freaky little sister and leave me alone!?"
"Hey! Who's 'freaky?!'" Skuld asked angrily.
Nanami didn't answer. She continued down the street.
"What's *her* problem!?" Skuld asked, miffed by her client's reaction.
Urd just smiled. "She's smitten as a kitten."
"Huh?"
"I think I'm going to...assist...on this one."
"Like hell you are!" Skuld told her.
"Relax," Urd told her. "It's still your job, you give her the wish...But I think she needs the help of a Goddess of Love...Don't you?"
Skuld arched an eyebrow. "Please...Please let this go," Skuld begged.
"Oh, no, no, no," Urd said with a giggle. "Think of it this way: She gets the guy, and she doesn't have to use up her wish."
Skuld thought about it. "That...makes sense..."
"Of course it makes sense!" Urd assured her, wrapping her arm around Skuld's shoulder and giving her a noogie. "Now, let's get to work!"
"Makoto chan!"
Makoto Mizuhara looked up from the book he was reading and rubbed his tired eyes. "Oh, hi, Nanami."
"I brought you dinner," Nanami said with a smile, putting the basket on the library table. "I thought you could use it."
"Hope you brought enough for two," Afura said, appearing from a aisle of book shelves.
Nanami smiled uncomfortably. "Sure," she said. She removed the two bowls of soup and set them out on the table. "Here ya go."
"Aren't you having any?" Makoto asked.
"Um...No, I just came to drop off dinner for you and Afura. I know you two are working hard."
"Thanks."
"Yeah, sure," Nanami said, a little disappointed. She had made *two* bowls for a reason.
"Oh, Makoto, come take a look at this," Afura beckoned. "I found this old map of El Hazard, and what I *think* are sites where parts for the Eye of God were manufactured." The wind priestess started for a map on the other side of the room.
"Really?" Makoto asked, joining her. Nanami followed a moment later.
As the three were looking at the map, a vial in the fingers of a slender hand appeared from around a corner and dropped a few drops of purple fluid into one of the soup bowls.
"It looks like a lot of the components were produced in the area that is now Ganom," Makoto was saying.
"Yes. It's possible that there are still ruins in and around the city that might have something for us," Afura told him. She walked back to the table and picked up one of the soup bowls...
"What is that stuff?" Skuld whispered from her crouched position near the doorway.
Urd smiled as she screwed the top back onto the vial she had used. "It's a little insurance policy."
"Oh, jeez! Not another love potion!"
"This one will work," Urd assured her.
Skuld looked around the corner. "Um...Which bowl did you pour that stuff in?"
"The left one. Why?"
Afura sipped another spoonful of soup and blinked. "Nanami, did you change the recipe?"
Skuld grabbed Urd by the collar and began shaking. "Well, what now?!" she hissed.
"Hmmm....This could be a problem," Urd said.
"BRILLIANT DEDUCTION, MURDER-SHE-WROTE!" Skuld cried quietly.
"No," Nanami said. "Why?"
Afura blinked again and shrugged. "I guess it's just me."
"Oh, damn!" Makoto swore. "I left that translation book in my room!"
"I'll get it," Nanami volunteered happily. "What's it look like?"
"It's right on my desk. Big and green. You can't miss it."
"Okay," Nanami said. "Be right back." She started for the door. She paused as she passed Afura, who was standing stock still, the bowl of soup still in her hands, with a weird look on her face. "Ms. Afura? Are you okay?"
The wind priestess was staring right at Makoto. "Wonderful," she breathed.
"Oh, okay. Be right back." Nanami walked out the door.
"She's coming!" Skuld cried.
"Uh...oh...Problem," Urd commented.
Nanami turned the corner and saw them crouching there. "Oh, it's you. What are you doing here?"
"NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL!" Skuld cried.
Urd began backing down the hall. "We're just here for the tour... Come along, Skuld." The two goddesses started down the hallway.
"Halt," Nanami ordered. "What are you two up to?"
"Up to? What do you mean?" Urd asked.
Nanami's eyes narrowed. "I mean..."
"AHHHHHHH!!!! MS. AFURA!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"
Nanami gasped and turned back the way she came. "Makoto chan!?" She turned and found the goddesses trying to slink down the hall. "HOLD IT, YOU TWO!"
They stopped. "Ah, crap," Urd muttered.
"Why couldn't you just let me do my job?" Skuld uttered.
Nanami ran back into the library.
"Ms. Afura?! What the hell?!" Makoto cried. Afura had him pushed over a table and was now trying to unbutton his shirt.
"You don't understand, Makoto!" Afura gasped as she kissed his neck. "Watching you work so hard every day! I see how brilliant you are! Do you know what's it's like?! To have no one to have an intelligent conversation with!?" She began licking his neck as she pinned him to the table.
"Ms. Afura! I'm flattered, really, but..."
Before he could finished, she kissed him. Makoto blinked in shock. No girl had ever French kissed him before, and the sensations caught him by surprise.
"Hey, Makoto! Afura!" Shayla called from the next room. "You guys almost done?! I thought we'd go get a late dinner!"
"Ms. Shayla!" Makoto called for help.
Afura covered his mouth with her hand. "Shhhhhh," she cooed. "Just leave it to me," she whispered, giving his cheek a tender kiss. She raised her voice to a shout. "Sorry, Shayla. Makoto and I are pulling an all- nighter." Makoto's eyes went wide.
"AFURA! WHAT THE?!" Nanami cried as she reentered the room.
"NANAMI! HELP ME!" Makoto begged.
"Are you guys sure, I mean..." Shayla stopped as she entered the room and saw Makoto and Afura in a rather intimate position. "You....scheming.........BITCH!" the fire priestess screamed. Fire energy sprang from her headband.
"Shayla," Afura said calmly. "I know this comes as a shock, but Makoto and I are lovers, and I think it would behoove you to accept that."
"WHAT?!"
"WHAT?!"
"WHAT?!"
Shayla was practically breathing fire by now. She marched forward and began rolling up her sleeves...
"Shayla," Afura said warningly, standing up. "Don't make me choose between you and the man I love.."
"WHAT?!"
"WHAT?!"
"WHAT?!"
As the two priestesses began to power up, Nanami glanced over her shoulder and saw the two goddesses trying to sneak past the open doorway. "HEY, YOU TWO! FREEZE!"
"Can't! Very busy!" Urd called back. "Faster!" she hissed to Skuld.
Nanami balled her hands into fists and followed them. "What the hell did you do to her?!" Nanami shouted at their backs.
Urd turned, but continued down the hall, walking backwards. "What makes you think *I* had anything to do with it!?"
"Urd!" Skuld said scornfully. "Reverse it."
"Reverse what?" the love goddess asked innocently.
Just then, a mixture of wind and fire energy came through the door and blasted the far wall. Angry shouts could be heard from the library as well as Makoto begging the two women to calm down.
"THAT!" Nanami said, pointing back at the carnage.
Urd looked from the angry looks Nanami was giving her to the angry looks Skuld was giving her and sighed. "Fine," she said in defeat. "Come on." She started back toward the library.
When they reentered the library, Shayla was straddling Afura with her fist raised over her head. "I can't believe my best friend would do that to me!!" the fire priestess was wailing.
Urd began looking through a small satchel. "How did she feel about him before?" she asked Nanami.
"Um...She was his friend, but nothing...well...romantic..."
"Uh huh...Let's see..." Urd began looking through different vials while Shayla and Afurd continued to roll around on the floor, tearing at each other's eyes.
"Could you hurry this up?" Nanami hissed at her.
"Ah! Here we go!" Urd cried, holding up a vial of brown liquid. "Love plus hate equals *indifference!* Hold her down for me and get the boy over here."
"Shayla! Hold Afura down!" Nanami shouted.
"Trust me!" Shayla growled, "That won't be a problem!" She gave Afura's hair a sharp tug as she straddled her. Afura shrieked in pain and grabbed Shayla by the throat.
"Makoto chan," Nanami said sweetly. "Would you come here for a sec?"
Makoto, who was cowering in fear not far away, looked up in fright. "Are you kidding?!"
"Just get over here!" Nanami ordered. She reached out and took his arm, pulling closer to where Afura and Shayla were.
"Okay," Urd said, preparing the vial, "She has to be looking right at him, okay?"
"Right!" Nanami said. "Shayla, grab her head."
Afura screamed as Shayla grabbed a handful of her hair.
"Thank you, that'll do nicely," Urd said as she upended the vial and poured the contents down the wind priestess' throat. Afura nearly spit the vile fluid out, but after awhile she calmed down again.
"How do you feel, Ms. Afura?" Makoto asked.
Afura took a few breaths....then reached out and gave Shayla's bright red hair and hard yank.
"AUGH!" Shayla cried.
"Much better, thank you."
"I can't believe you did that to me!!" Nanami bit out angrily as she paced back and forth in front of Urd and Skuld, who were kneeling on the floor, their heads bowed dejectedly. Nanami had forced marched them back to her kitchen after the whole Makoto/Afura escapade had been resolved. "I don't need your help! I can win Makoto chan on my own!"
"Actually..." Urd began.
"SHUT IT!"
Urd shut her mouth.
"Now I want you two to leave!"
Skuld blinked. "What about your wish!"
"Screw my wish! Just get out!"
"Sheesh," Skuld muttered. "I guess the temper is a genetic thing...."
"WHAT WAS THAT!?" Nanami cried.
"Nothing!" Skuld said quickly. Skuld thought fast. She still had a job to do, and if she left, how was she going to do it and prove to Belldandy that she was capable of being a real goddess? An idea came to her. "Why don't you let us help out in your restauraunt?"
"Huh?" Nanami asked with a blink.
"HUH?!" Urd echoed with a touch of horror.
"Yeah," Skuld said with a smile. "To make up for what we did?"
"Hmmmm..." Nanami thought.
"No! Wait! Bad idea!" Urd said.
Nanami saw how miserable this made Urd and liked the plan immediately. "Okay. But I'm not paying you."
"That's okay," Skuld said.
Urd sighed dejectedly. "Domestic labor...This is Belldandy's specialty..."
Skuld scowled. "Well, you *are* helping! It was *your* idea, and *your* potion."
Urd sighed again. "Fine..."
"Hmmph!" Nanami snorted. "You're just lucky I managed to convince the others that the two of you were foreign doctors, otherwise, Shayla and Afura would've both had your heads!"
"Yeah, yeah..." Urd said, rolling her eyes.
Nanami sighed. "I take it you've never worked in a kitchen before, so you'll just waitress."
"Yea," Urd said unenthusiastically. "Joy..."
Nanami turned to Skuld. "What about you? You mind helping me cook?"
Skuld gave her a smart salute. "No problem! I've been watching my sister, Belldandy, cook for a year!"
Nanami actually smiled at her. "Well, then, it's settled." She heard Urd sigh again. She frowned and tossed the goddess turned waitress and apron. "Well, what are you waiting for? Get to work."
Urd groaned as she placed the dirty dishes on the counter. "And remember," Nanami called out from the kitchen. "Be polite to the customers."
"I *am* polite!" Urd shot back. She heard the bell ring announcing the presence of more customers. She turned to them. "Yeah, whaddya want?!"
Two young women were standing at the door staring at her. The shorter one had purple hair and seemed to be licking her lips. The taller one, with brown hair, who looked remarkably like that Makoto boy, was staring at her wide eyed.
"I mean," Urd corrected herself sweetly. "What can I do for you?"
Fatora stood there, enthralled. "HUMINA! HUMINA! HUMINA!" she cried.
"Huh?" Urd said. Before she could get another word out, the little, purple-haired girl had latched onto her waist.
"Hi, there," Alielle said, with a smile.
"Er..."
Fatora shook the stars out of her eyes and grinned. "I see Nanami took my advice and did something about the view around here."
"Um...This way," Urd said, leading Fatora to a table with Alielle still latched firmly to her waist. She managed to pry the girl off of her, and the two were quickly seated. "So, what can I get for you?" Urd asked, taking out her notepad.
Fatora rested her chin in her hands coquettishly and smiled. "That depends on what's on the menu."
"I'm suddenly in the mood for melons," Alielle noted with a grin.
Urd blinked. "Why...don't...I get you something to drink while you think about it?"
"Very well," Fatora said imperiously. "We'll have wine...in three glasses." She grinned.
"O...kay..." Urd quickly rushed to the kitchen. "Skuld! Skuld! Take over for me!"
Skuld looked back over her shoulder as she stirred the pot of stew on the stovetop. "No way! I'm having fun cooking!"
"Please!?" Urd begged.
"NO!"
"I overheard the order," Nanami said with an evil grin, depositing a bottle of wine and three glasses on the counter in front of Urd. "Go on."
Urd looked desperate. "You can't be serious!"
"Call it your penance for what happened earlier," Nanami told her. "In this restauraunt, the needs and wants of the customer come first."
Urd's eyes narrowed. "I'll get you for this," she told Skuld. Skuld responded by sticking her tongue out at her sister. Urd picked up the wine and glasses and proceeded back to the table. Nanami and Skuld could just make out bits and pieces of the conversation.
"I don't think we got your name," Nanami heard Fatora say slyly.
"It's...um....Skuld," Urd told them.
Nanami turned her attention back to the young goddess at the stove. "So, how's it going over here?" Skuld offered up a tasting dish for Nanami to try. Nanami took a sip and blinked. "Wow! This is really good!"
"Thanks. Belldandy taught me to make it."
Fatora's voice came floating into the kitchen from the dining room. "So tell me, tall and beautiful, how long have you been in Florishtica?"
"Er...only a few hours," Urd told her.
"I see. Well, then I insist you stay at the palace as my royal guest."
Alielle's giggle of delight was heard. The two cooks ignored it.
"Belldandy, huh?" Nanami asked. "Another sister?"
Skuld nodded. "She's the reason I'm here, really. Ever since Keiichi made that stupid wish, I've been trying to cover for her."
"Who's Keiichi?" Nanami asked.
Skuld rolled her eyes. "Some bonehead who made a *really* stupid wish." Nanami blinked in puzzlement. "He actually wished that Belldandy would be his girlfriend forever! Can you believe that!?"
"Aww...That's kind of sweet..."
"It is not!" Skuld cried.
"Well...Is he mean to her?"
Skuld scowled. "No," she mumbled.
"Does he hit her?"
"Of course not! Belldandy would fry him!"
"Does he fool around on her?" Nanami asked.
Skuld's eyes narrowed, and she turned back to the stew. "You don't get it," she muttered.
"Well, what's wrong with him, then? He sounds like a nice guy."
"He *is* a nice guy!" Skuld cried. "But that's not the point! He's such a doofus! I swear!"
Fatora's voice came back into the room. "Oh my! I spilled wine all over your beautiful blouse! Here, let me help wipe that up..."
"It's okay," Urd said deadpan. "Really..."
"Oh, wait! Some spilled on your thigh!" Alielle spoke up. "I'll get it!"
"Hey! Stop! Get off me!" Urd cried.
"I see," Nanami said, ignoring what was happening in the dining room. She smiled. "Your big sister found a boyfriend, and you're jealous because she spends all of her free time with him, and not with you."
"You're just being stupid!" Skuld told her.
"Uh huh. Whatever you say." She patted Skuld on the head while the goddess glowered.
"You know, I'm here to grant you a wish, not be talked down to like a little four year old!" Skuld shot at her.
Nanami groaned. "Again with that wish. When are you going to give it up?"
"When you make your wish!"
"Fine, I wish..."
"STOP!" Skuld cried.
Nanami blinked. "What? I'm just doing like you asked. If it'll get you and your weirdo sister out of here, I'll make a wish."
"But you're doing it for the wrong reasons!" Skuld cried. "Wishes can change people's entire lives! And you only get *one*, and that's only if you're extremely lucky! Don't blow it on something stupid!"
"HEY!" they heard Urd shout. "THERE'S NOT EVEN ANY WINE THERE!"
"Pays to be safe," Fatora told her.
"Isn't there something you *really* want?" Skuld asked quietly. "Something that you won't see any other way except through this wish?"
Nanami stared at her and began to blush. "Well...There is one thing..."
"Great! What is it?!"
"I can't tell you that!"
Skuld glared at her. "You suck."
Jinnai looked out from beneath his cloak and smiled through the Roshtarian night at the lit building across the street. "There it is. My sister's pathetic little diner." Behind him, in a similar cloak, Groucho mumbled something.
"So what if it smells good?!" Jinnai retorted. "Let's just get in, grab my new secret weapon, and get out again. Remember, grab that mallet of her's first, or else she'll turn you into paste."
Groucho babbled something fearfully, something that sounded a lot like, "Me?!"
"Yes, you!" Jinnai told him. "You can't expect the Grand Chancellor, Lord God Jinnai, Leader of the Bugrom Empire to put himself at risk! Now get in there!" He got behind Groucho and gave him a push toward the diner.
Groucho dug in his heels and shook his head from side to side frantically.
"Exo-bonehead!" Jinnai cried. "She won't turn you into paste if you catch her off guard!" He gave the bug a swift kick to the rear. "Now move it!"
Groucho seemed to sigh in defeat and stole quickly across the street towards the diner.
"Soup's ready!" Skuld announced as she carried the pot into the dining room. What she saw when she got there made her laugh out loud.
Fatora and Alielle had Urd backed into a corner...literally.
"Look, I'm really flattered, but I think it's dinner time..."
"Dinner can wait," Fatora said in a sultry voice. "Let's skip right to dessert first."
Urd's eyes narrowed. "I've tried being polite about this. I don't want to hurt you."
Fatora's grin widened. "No, by all means...hurt me."
Urd's back hit the wall.
"Just leave yourself in our hands," Fatora told her. "I guarantee you'll enjoy it. Only women know what women truly want."
Urd was saved by a scream from the kitchen. As one, the group turned. Nanami was screaming again.
Skuld brought out her mallet and ran back in the direction she had come. Urd pushed through Fatora and Alielle and followed, the princess and her lover right on her heels.
When they got to the kitchen they saw Nanami standing in front of a large purple bug, wielding a frying pan.
"Bring it on, bucko!" Nanami cried, hefting the pan. "I'm ready for ya!"
"Bugrom!" Alielle screamed.
"This place is infested!" Fatora cried. "I'm calling the Better Business Bureau!"
Groucho looked back and forth between the women in confusion. Which one was Lord God Jinnai's new weapon? He didn't know. He saw a small, dark-haired girl with a hammer and guessed that she must be the one. He took a step towards her...
Just as Nanami jumped up and swung the pan around.
*CLANG!*
Skuld raised her mallet as Groucho stumbled back, his hands on his head where Nanami had hit him. He stumbled into a light switch, and the kitchen lights went out.
Alielle screamed, "FATORA, HOLD ME!" searching for Fatora.
Fatora screamed, "SKULD, HOLD ME!" searching for Urd.
*CLANG!*
"OOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!" Fatora screamed!
There was a crash as Skuld's mallet hit something made of concrete, but in the dark, no one could see what it was.
"HEY! WHO'S TOUCHING ME!?" Nanami cried out.
"You're welcome!" Alielle said with a giggle.
"What about that bug!?" Skuld screamed.
They heard Urd scream.
"ALIELLE!" Nanami shouted in frustration.
"That wasn't me!" the purple-haired teenager called out.
The lights came on again. Four women stood in the middle of a warzone, blinking at one another in confusion. The kitchen was all but demolished. Fatora was rubbing her head where Nanami's pan had struck her.
Skuld looked from side to side, her mallet lowered. "Hey, where did that bug go?"
"I have a more important question," Fatora said irritably, "Where did Skuld go?"
"I'm right here!" Skuld told her.
"No, I mean the hot one playing hard to get!" Fatora told her.
Nanami looked around. "Where *is* Urd?"
Jinnai laughed maniacally as he and Groucho ran down the street. He'd won. His new secret weapon was wrapped in Groucho's cloak, being carried over the Bugrom's shoulder while she kicked and screamed to be let out.
"YES! ONCE AGAIN, LORD GOD JINNAI PREVAILS!!!" He laughed again.
The woman in the cloak screamed inaudibly, kicking at Groucho for all she was worth.
"Quick! Groucho! Down this alley!" The two turned into a darkened alley. "Put her down right here." Jinnai pointed at the ground at his feet.
Groucho muttered something like, "Orkay," and unceremoniously dumped his cargo onto the floor.
The girl hit the ground with a startled, "Ack!"
Jinnai folded his arms over his chest and grinned as his new weapon began to climb out of the cloak. "Now, then, you are here now and will do my bi....Huh?"
The woman who crawled out of the cloak, rubbing her painful rump, was not the girl he had met at the Bugrom hive, but an older girl with silver- white hair.
"GROUCHO!! THIS ISN'T MY NEW SECRET WEAPON!! IT'S JUST SOME WORTHLESS GIRL!!"
"Watch who you're calling, 'worthless,' mortal!" Urd shot at him.
Jinnai ignored her and turned to Groucho. "Well, even if she's not my weapon, she might be something better. We could use her as a hostage."
As he said this, Urd was rising angrily to her feet. He turned to her.
"Now, then, you'll do exactly as I say or else Groucho here will grind you into paste, got it?"
"Paste," Groucho repeated.
Urd's eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, "Are you....*threatening* me?" Energy began to crackle at her fingertips.
Jinnai blinked. "Now, see here! Behave or...."
"Or what?" Urd asked dangerously. Urd raised her finger...
Half of Florishtica was awakened by explosion and bright flashes of light coming from a downtown alley. Anyone close enough to actually see what was happening would've seen a teenaged boy riding atop a large, purple bug, as it ran pell mell down the street.
"RUN, IDIOT! RUN!!" Jinnai screamed, looking behind himself in fear.
Groucho muttered something and ran as fast as he could to safety.
Back in the alley, Urd raised her finger to her lips and gave it a little kiss. "Yes! I've still got it!"