Chapter Eight
Tonight and the rest of my life.
an: Credit goes out to Nina Gordon for her song "Tonight and the rest of my life" Sorry but I'm just not that talented. But if you thought I was, thanks you rock. Anyway on with the show. BLINKS...WOW. Gosh you guys really do like this one...I'm like blown away with the response I just got I mean less then twenty four hours and I missed posting the next chapter on the 80th review by like seven reviews.... wow.... WOW...you guys have really made my day. Thanks for taking the time to tell me what you think...I know. I know.... I'm addicted to angst.... so the next two chapters.... which I only think is fair that I post together.... are gonna be angsty and really confusing.... so bear with it.... after them you get more plot development then a chapter that I'm sure you're all waiting for. Do you think this author's note is long enough?
Down to the earth I fell with dripping wings, heavy things won't fly.
I needed out. In so many ways, from so many things.
But this being a hotel room in Venice, a cold empty hotel room in Venice. And being on a mission. Well, out was not really much of anything.
And the sky might catch on fire and burn the axis of the world
Besides there were still villains to fight and spy operations to bring down. Out, would never be an option.
I don't want to fight anymore.
But if I don't...
That's why I prefer a sunless sky to the glittering and stinging in my eyes.
But I could fix some things. I didn't have to sit here and remember the things that hurt me. I didn't have to remember the look in Vaughn's eyes when I told him about Will, or the feelings of jealousy I had over Alice.
No tonight was what I made of it.
And I just wanted to feel free.
So I ended up leaving that stifling hotel room.
I feel so light. This is all I wanna feel tonight
I walked for an undetermined amount of time. Just walking. Not thinking about anything.
I feel so light.
Forgetting the world. Forgetting SD-6 and all it's impossible missions. Forgetting the fact that I'd put my life on hold for seven years. Forgetting those piercing green eyes that saw through me, that held me, that comforted me when his arms could not.
Tonight and the rest of my life
Empty.
Blank.
Void.
Tonight and the rest of my life
Why couldn't the rest of my life be like this moment?
Gleaming in the dark sea I'm as light as air
When my mind returned to me I found that I was on a bridge near the hotel. It was late. Two or three I judged looking up at the night sky.
I wondered if Vaughn was dreaming.
And what he was dreaming about.
Floating there breathlessly.
For a long time I looked down.
The water, so still underneath me, captivated all my attention.
I wasn't quite ready to go back to that room. I knew what awaited me.
Reality. Sometimes I wish it would just go away.
When I finally looked up again my eyes locked on the form of a man up on the fifth floor of the hotel.
He was looking down at me from his balcony. My mind briefly played over the fact that I hadn't gotten a balcony. I wondered why.
Probably had something to do with Sloane's views on world traveling.
You aren't suppose to see the world, merely the safe you're breaking into. And a lock descrambler is necessary whereas a balcony is not.
I wanted the balcony.
When the dream dissolves
But I'd never get that balcony.
I open up my eyes I realize that everything is shoreless sea, weightlessness is passing over me.
The man on that fifth floor balcony was Vaughn. I'd know him anywhere.
I feel so light
Our eyes locked. Silly for me to say because he was so far away and it wasn't like I could really tell what exactly he was looking at.
But I felt it.
This all I wanna feel tonight.
I think I'm in love with him.
I feel so light
Sometimes I could be a real idiot.
Tonight and the rest of my life
I couldn't love him. It was wrong. And he didn't feel the same.
Tonight and the rest of my life
But I couldn't take my eyes off him.
Everything is waves and stars the universe is resting in my arms
There were so many reasons why I couldn't. So many things that made breaking eye contact and going back to my room a must.
National security being the least on my list.
So I did.
I broke eye contact with him and focused on the water below me.
I feel so light
But his eyes were still on me.
This is all I wanna feel tonight
And his gaze felt heated even from that distance.
I feel so light
I looked at him again
Tonight and the rest of my life
The curtains from his room blew in the gentle breeze. Dancing with his still form. The light from the moon lit his face and if I looked hard enough I could make out his facial expressions.
I wished I could be up there with him.
Wrapped in his warm arms. My head resting against his bare chest, his chin resting on my head, my arms wrapped around his as he pulled me closer. Whispered in my ear. Told me that I was his everything...
I feel so light
I smiled. He smiled back.
This is all I wanna feel tonight
He seemed to question me with his posture.
'Are you alright?' He asked wordlessly.
I feel so light
I nodded.
Tonight and the rest of my life
One day maybe I would be able to stand on a balcony like that with him.
One day.
But tonight I needed to get some sleep.
I broke eye contact one last time then turned and returned to my room
Tonight and the rest of my life