Title: Cold November Rain [part 43/?]
Book 1 of "Redirecting Destiny" and prequel to "Romantic Resolutions"
Author: Enigma
Series: Weiss Kreuz
Written: January-March, 2002
Rating: R
Pairings: (Yohji + Ken + Aya) (Omi + Nagi) (Brad + Schu)
Category: Dark! Yaoi Angst Action/Adventure Violence Blood Squick Language Romance Original Characters. AU-OOC.
Archive: fanfiction.net [author: "E-sama the Llama"], Scripta Manent: http://digilander.iol.it/sakaba/Home.html
Spoilers: None, safe for new viewers as well as old.
Warnings: dark! yaoi, heavy angst, action/adventure, graphic violence, large quantities of blood, squick: medical and other, coarse language, agonized and overwrought romance, original characters designed to highlight the true stars, rare touches of sap, cigarettes, destiny, cruel cliffhangers. AU-OOC.
Disclaimer: "Weiss Kreuz" is the property of Takehito Koyasu and Project Weiss. All original characters featured herein (including but not limited to: Calico, Norwegian, Korat, Sokoke, etc.) are © Enigma, 2002, and are not to be used without permission. This unauthorized work of fanfiction is intended for entertainment only; kindly do not sue me.
Notes: When Ken falls in battle, how can the other members of Weiss cope with the guilt and blame that they all seem to share and will he survive in spite of the odds against him?
++ date and time reference within the storyline beginning with the day of the battle ++
{{telepathic speech}}
*****
++ day: 4. time: 1700-1735 hours. ++
*****
After the group of friends had sat in companionable silence for awhile, Nagi had felt a little restless and asked his boyfriend if he wanted to go for a walk with him to explore the sixth floor of Tokyo General if nothing else. Omi had agreed willingly and the two bid their friends a brief farewell before walking out of Ken's room, hand-in-hand as usual since they'd decided to ignore such inconveniences as refraining from public displays of affection during this rare extended period of time together.
Awakening in each others arms for several days in a row had been far more wonderful an experience than either could have predicted and it only encouraged them to seek physical contact all the more. The sense of warmth and reassurance it gave them to have one another's quiet words of affection and love as their greeting upon returning to the waking world was one of the infrequent bright spots of the last few difficult days. Now, though, simply sharing the warmth of palm against palm and the rhythm of bodies in motion as they walked seemed to be a great blessing and they quietly enjoyed it as they traveled along pristine hospital hallways.
Coming upon an open and airy room with large windows that would be a very nice solarium when there was sunshine again, the pair stopped and stood together, gazing out over the rain-washed hospital parking lot far below.
With a slight sigh of regret, Nagi asked quietly, "Omi-koi? Now that Ken-kun is doing better and seems to be recovering well, would it be okay if I went home soon?" Keeping deep blue eyes downcast as he attempted to see if Schuldich's flame red Ferrari was still there, he added, "I miss Schu and Farf, um, and Crawford, too, I guess. I wonder how they've been doing without me?"
Questing lapis lazuli eyes finally spotted their target and the sable-haired teen was understandably surprised that the brilliantly colored Italian sportscar was indeed still where it had been placed after he had driven Omi back following the frightening search he'd been sent on a few mornings prior. Unfortunately, it never even occurred to Nagi that the expensive imported vehicle had been left there as a result of a deliberate decision made by his German friend, a man who only wanted whatever was best for his young friend whom he missed greatly by that point.
The small smile of relief that grew when he saw the car faded quickly, though, as it occurred to the diminutive telekinetic that when he drove it back to the Schwarz penthouse he would most likely be facing various punishments and new limitations for his numerous transgressions.
Nagi wondered how long it would be before he could be with Omi again. With Weiss deactivated it wouldn't occur on the urban battlefield but to be able to meet at the café where their friend worked would've been nice to look forward to. He correctly assumed it would be quite awhile before they could hold hands again since he'd be fairly behind on his school work and more. Of course he didn't have an excuse to give for his absence that would convince Crawford to sign a note for his teachers about it for him, but he wasn't thinking about that just yet. On top of that, he anticipated a mountain of Schwarz paperwork was awaiting his attention as well as whatever household duties he needed to see to, something else that depressed him a little but not enough to deter him from wanting to go home.
Peering at the boy beside him, the blond teen could see that his boyfriend was feeling torn in two separate directions by his love for himself plus the members of Weiss and the need to see those who had taken care of him since childhood. Even though he would've liked to tell him that he'd rather that Nagi gave up that life entirely in favor of moving in with him and his teammates, Omi answered, "I understand, Nagi-love." Giving the too-thin hand he held a gentle squeeze, he added, "They're your family just like Yohji-kun, Aya-kun, and Ken-kun are mine. I'd hate to be away from them and out of touch as long as you have been from Schwarz."
Wincing at the reminder that he was returning not only to friends but also to a lifestyle that held less and less appeal after watching those who loved the brunette assassin suffering over the last few days and fearing he himself might face the same someday, the sable-haired boy nodded. With sadness, he answered, "I still don't know why they haven't tried to call me on my cell phone but I've kept my shields up against Schu this whole time, maybe they're angry with me for blocking them out?"
Omi shrugged a little and then encouraged him by repeating an earlier thought, "Or maybe it really *is* the way that I suggested. Maybe they know you needed to be gone to take care of something important and that you'll come back when you can." Seeing the look of disbelief in Nagi's eyes he pointed out, "After all, love, didn't you once tell me that if they *really* needed to find you they could? Awake, asleep, or unconscious, Schuldich could track you down if he chose to even if it would leave him pretty drained for awhile?"
Nodding slightly as he recalled a conversation that had been initiated after Omi had expressed concern when Nagi told him about a mission he'd been on where he'd overused his powers early on defending himself and had passed out but was tracked down by his telepathic teammate just the same. The fifteen year old psychic admitted grudgingly, "That's true, koi. He said something weird about following my 'flavor' or some nonsense when I asked him about it." His mood lightened and he looked up at his partner and asked, "So, you really think they trust me after all? I mean, if Crawford hasn't come to get me, I guess that's the only explanation, right?"
The blond smiled confidently and suppressed a desire to mention there were far less optimistic reasons he might have gone unsought the way he had such as a disaster had hit their team much as it had hit Weiss or worse, they no longer wanted Nagi in their midst. Ignoring those unsavory thoughts, he nodded in agreement, "Absolutely! I'm sure that they'll be glad to have you home, Nagi-love." He wrapped an arm around his boyfriend and gave him a brief embrace then stated simply, "I'll miss you, of course, but I wouldn't want you to stay here and be miserable worrying over them, love."
"Thank you, koi," Nagi said quietly, leaning into the hug for a moment and then straightening as a nurse rolled a man in a wheelchair into the room to allow the elderly patient a chance to look at something other than the four sterile walls that a stroke had condemned him to. With a glance at the man who smiled back at him lopsidedly due to the typical one-sided paralysis that accompanied such an affliction, he added, "Maybe now would be a good time to go back to the others, Omi? We might as well let them know that I'm thinking of going home soon."
Cerulean eyes smiled sadly at the man in the wheelchair who had already lost interest in the two teenagers since he found the sounds the rain was making more intriguing, then agreed, saying, "Yes, that would be a good idea, love." As they walked from the room he asked, "How soon did you want to leave, Nagi?"
With a small hint of rose on his cheeks, the diminutive telekinetic answered, "Um, I was thinking tomorrow morning might be good, Omi. Since we still have that really nice suite at the Hilton and all, I thought one more night together might be, um, uh, nice?"
It took a moment for Omi to realize the direction of his beloved's thoughts. When he connected Nagi's slight blush with the mention of the hotel rooms that they hadn't done much more than sleep and bathe in, he felt surprised yet pleased by the implication that they might use the suite for something less platonic that evening than they had so far. With a hopeful smile and an even deeper blush since he knew what role he wanted if such an opportunity presented itself, he offered, "Why don't we plan to go out to dinner together tonight then? I can borrow Yohji-kun's car if we want to go somewhere other than staying around here and then we can go to the Hilton and, uh, um, watch a movie or something?"
The only thing keeping the conversation as light and nonspecific as it was were the numerous nurses, patients, and visitors in the hallway with them, but neither youth truly believed there was anything half as worth watching on television as one another's handsome face lost in passion.
With an expression filled with anticipation and a happiness that hadn't been there only a few minutes prior, Nagi agreed, "I'd like that a lot, Omi-koi. A relaxed evening alone together before I go home would be *more* than wonderful!"
Omi smiled gratefully and then they walked on in silence, intending to return to their friends quickly so as to act on their romantic plans. As they stepped into Room 646, however, much of their anticipatory delight faded as they saw someone had joined their friends in their absence.
Uncharacteristically slouched in a visitor's chair and looking distinctly defeated and miserable, Norwegian was debriefing the elder three members of Weiss regarding the situation with Sokoke whose body had already been reduced to ashes after extensive samples had been taken. There had been no physical evidence found during the gruesome procedure that might point to the true events of the previous day and it had left the portly physician feeling frustrated and incapable, something he had just stated aloud.
Feeling a rush of sympathy for the man who had been somewhat of a father-figure to him for as long as he could remember, Omi spoke quietly and said, "That's not true, Norwegian. I'm sure you did everything you could for her."
Glancing up with sorrowful gray eyes, the older man shook his head slightly and disagreed, "I don't know about that, Omi. I didn't know the girl well, but I know that there was nothing in her psychological profile to indicate Sokoke had ever shown even the slightest hint of suicidal behavior." He shook his head again and added with frustration, "I can not accept that she killed herself yet I have seen nothing to contradict it so far! If only I was better at analyzing a situation like this, I might be able to relieve her poor mother and father of carrying the guilt of believing they had a child who has killed themselves this way."
The gray-eyed man's voice dropped off as his mind filled once more with the too fresh memory of facing her family to deliver the secretary-cum-chef's ashes to them. Her mother, aunt, father, brothers, and cousins had all made the journey in from their home in a distant suburb to collect the physical remains and while the women cried, the youngest teen present had fought tears as well. This was the young cousin who was roughly Nagi's age whom Sokoke had helped after his father had died and to now lose the woman who had been far more important to him than a cousin usually was had been a terrible loss.
Norwegian had spoken to the family members about the honey-blond woman's wonderful gifts and contribution to not only Kritiker but also to many others, emphasizing the fact that she had been a generous and giving soul, someone who would be greatly missed. He truly regretted not having a chance to get to know her better and hated himself for the fact that she died while under his command even though there was nothing he could have done to prevent Calico's capricious evil from controlling her.
As a physician who had saved countless lives over a lengthy career who faced his second almost inexplicable death in a very short time, Norwegian was feeling like a total failure. He had even let his typical genial smile remain absent as he sat where he was for a moment and silently prayed an ancient Shinto prayer of peace for the dead.
With a tone that indicated this conversation wasn't helping matters, Yohji urged compassionately, "I'm sure Sokoke didn't commit suicide, too, Norwegian, but why not wait for the results of the samples you and Manx are getting analyzed behind Persia's back?" Thinking of his own emotionally trying experiences lately, he added, "Assuming the worst is no way to handle a difficult situation, we all know that by now." Jade eyes flitted across the other assassins in the room and they silently agreed with him and the topic was allowed to be dropped since it was only adding to the air of unhappiness that would do Ken more harm than good.
The much older man glanced up and followed the looks being exchanged by those around him and nodded slowly before returning to a contemplation of his own dismal thoughts.
The case that had arrived at the Kritiker Medical Center emergency room which had resulted in the first mysterious fatality had caused him deep concern since no rational cause of death had yet to be found. However, since the body remained in cold-storage in the morgue there for further study, he hoped to have plenty of time to analyze the results of an autopsy scheduled for later in the week. The loss of Sokoke's body, however, meant the samples that were currently en route to a Kritiker research lab in Yokohama were his only hope for finding the answers he was sure were there to be had if they looked.
Nagi and Omi glanced at one another in misery. Seeing the usually jovial physician looking so downcast and unhappy bothered the two teens terribly even though it had yet to sink in for either of them how much he reminded them of a perpetually cheerful figure of European legend even the Japanese had come to embrace. Then again, Christmas was over a month away and by then they might not even think about it.
Sadly, even the pair of blue-eyed assassins knew that now was not the time to share the encouraging phrase that had become something of a rallying cry for this unique group of five young men. No, saying "Ganbatte!" at that point would've seemed almost sacrilegious and thus the room lapsed into an uncomfortable, morose silence for several minutes.
*****
To be continued.
Full Author's Notes to Run at Conclusion.
Please be advised: Parts 42 & 43 will be posted together.
This evening's posting run is dedicated to all the wonderful people who have written to me either directly or have left a review at fanfiction.net expressing their shock, horror, dismay, and occasional delight following last night's posting run!
{throws massive amounts of Pocky into Cyberspace thanking each and every one of you with a profound bow of gratitude thrown in for good measure}
I must say that I am quite relieved that the reception for this turn of events is exactly what it is -- inspiring! There were times when I was writing the angst-laden scenes that were offered last night and kept feeling as if this would be a non-event, that readers would simply say, "That's okay, Sokoke's just a made up character anyway, not a series regular." Then they might laugh and add, "Plus, since OCs are a dime a dozen, as soon as she's dead, the llama will simply deliver another one to take her place and everything will be cool again, no biggie!"
Of course, that would've been an unmitigated disaster and since it didn't happen all I'll say about it is that deliberately creating a lamb to send to slaughter was painful and hard. So *not* hearing that has made my soul soar above the clouds where it can absorb more energy and hopefully provide you with even more entertainment! Oh, and the other thing I'll say about it is that I rarely create a character just for the hell of it and if you think I can just whip one up, guess again. It takes time and contemplation as well as a really serious inner search for the new OC's method of highlighting the main characters as well. Hence, at least part of the reason that you aren't meeting the rest of Grün just yet is that they need to finish being built to suit the tale "Redirecting Destiny" seeks to tell.
{smiles tiredly, this entire posting run was going to be delayed a night due to fatigue, but after that great reception it would be cruel and unacceptable to not send something at least marginally more hopeful, ne?}
By the way, let me answer a couple of common questions/issues raised since last night and then I *really* need to go get some sleep!
[1] Will Calico get his "just desserts" any time soon? {evil smile} I'm terribly sorry, but this little orange-haired menace is only beginning to give you a full demonstration of his potential for evil and can't be killed right now. In fact, what he did to Sokoke was fairly merciful compared to a few other things you will discover that he has done and will do in the future, so prepare to enjoy loathing, hating, and despising him for some time to come. *However,* when his usefulness is finally at an end, you can bet good money that a certain scarlet-haired man's katana will drink long and deep of his blood, you have the word of a llama on it! As to a brunette's claws doing the same, I'm afraid not. By the time it all goes down to the wire {stops and chuckles darkly at the possible foreshadowing in *that* little phrase} Kenken won't be able to help and the reasons why boggle the mind.
[2] What will become of poor Hideo? Was he only there to be shy and sweet then get his heart crushed by the death of a woman he barely had a chance to meet? As mentioned above, an OC must have a role to play beyond a simple shadow yet this gentle man remains something of a mystery to Melpomene. She wants to send him off on a depressed man's drinking binge--preferably at Calico's favorite bar--and leave him dead somewhere, but luckily Calliope (that's my muse of epics in case you were wondering) thinks he might be useful for something later. What do you as a reader think? Would you like the quiet, 30-something year old man from a fishing village to remain part of the greater ensemble cast of CNR or not? I wish that fanfiction.net had a polling feature to allow an easier answer, but in the meantime, please let me know? Thanks a lot in advance for settling this for me! Right now *you* hold his fate in *your* hands instead of me. Scary, ne?
[3] Omi's origami bouquet was so sweet and poetic and now we have another set of floral surprises in the form of Aya's arrangement for Ken as well as Nagi being given an "image flower", but what does it all mean? Basically, these are here to do several things. First, they are to remind the reader that the men of Weiss are florists as well as assassins and flowers hold great meaning for them. Second, Nagi's Peruvian Irises are a way to herald a long-term and subtle change in his roles that I hope to work in over the next few stories. Last, they are symbols for so many things I can't even begin to collect them all here for you. Suffice it to say, there's another floral-related symbol in Part 43 that ties back to something Yohji told Korat awhile ago and if you spotted it the way beloved Yanagi-sen undoubtedly did, sugoi for you!
[4] "Mission-Aya" {pauses, laughs a little, and asks Beth if she got hers--from Hasbro no less!--at eBay so the llama can have one, too, then gets serious, sorta, again} is *so* sexy! Can we see him doing something soon in a fic rated NC-17 where that power and angst might go towards a lemony direction? Hehehe! Sure thing! I was planning on this for "Scars" and even though "mission-Aya" will not exactly have a loving attitude at first for his blond partner, he will later! Plus you can bet that I have a very good idea of how he and "sensitive and unsure-Aya" might end up being expressed in the same story and possibly lead to him saying those "three special words", too, if he doesn't get around to it here first!
{stops being a tease, yawns a lot, then goes off to post and archive this so people can see why Persia is being such a damned fool lately}
Hmm, poor Persia. Used like a robot by the worst person who ever stepped foot in his office and, yes, that *does* include Takatori if he ever dared to drop in! In fact, I need to deal with how a creep like Calico got to be part of the crème de al crème of Tokyo's crime fighters some day, but not now. I'm too tired for it and it belongs inside the fic anyway, no da!
Ja ne!
~~~E-sama the Llama~~~
(who is *really* dragging now and might need to take a night or two off to get the next few Parts ready so instead of feeling guilty if there's a little lapse then he apologizes now and shuffles off to bed before he wakes up with tiny squares on his face again from the keyboard that isn't half as comfortable as a pillow!)
Posted 13 March 2002, ~4:15am.