Chapter Twenty-Two
Breathing
AN: yup nother short one. Hey guess who is going out of town this weekend? Oh that's right me. So… smiles evilly. I have…counts chapters….five chapters left to post after this one. And the evil author that we've established I so clearly am, has been thinking that wouldn't it be incredibly cruel to leave you hanging this weekend after I've given you so much this week. I mean like…read chapter before continuing with note…are you reading the chapter…dang it read the chapter…fine I'll continue after the chapter…
A steady beep brings me back.
A heart monitor.
In a small bed of white, tubes connected everywhere. I don't quite remember how I got here.
I do remember that she was here.
I don't remember who she is. But I remember that she was here. And that fact is oddly more important to me then anything else.
"He's awake!" a nurse cries out when she stumbles in on me.
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"It's very real." Weiss explains. He can hardly contain his excitement over the news. I can tell he's been jumping up and down ever since he got the news.
Maybe it's the unbelievable good nature of the news. But I'm still pessimistic. Skeptical.
Why should something work out? After every false hope. Every piece of misinformation. Why should this work so perfectly?
"You're not kidding? Is it enough?" The warehouse is cold. Has been ever since I started active duty a week ago. Weiss is an ok guy. I've never had a problem with him. But he's no Vaughn.
But then no one ever will be.
"It's enough." His tone is serious, carrying a considerably small amount of excitement. It's focused.
I envy that. I wish I could be as focused.
But no I'm still staring at the floor and counting the mismatched stains, wondering what they came from. Wondering if it's still raining outside. Wondering if I remembered to turn off the bathroom light this morning. Better yet if I remembered to take my keys out of the ignition before locking the door.
That could be a problem. I really don't have the time to sit and wait for someone to come and unlock my door. Plus calling a locksmith might not be the best thing to do. If Sloane got wind of it then I'd probably have some explaining to do.
"Sydney are you alright?" His voice is distant. Only I know it's not. It's just me and the way I've tuned him out again.
"Yeah fine." He seems satisfied.
"They'll pay for what happened Sydney." He tried again.
"Are we done?"
"Yeah." I know I should try and be friendlier to him. Vaughn would have wanted me to treat his friend a little nicer. I owe it to him. But I'm tired and I might be locked out of my car. Not to mention slightly cranky.
Weiss's words ring in my ears.
"They'll pay for what happened Sydney."
I still wonder if it was worth the price we paid.
Vaughn would want me to get on with my life. He'd want me to start teaching, to meet people.
He'd even want me to date. He'd want me to find someone to share my life with now that I could.
He never wanted me to be alone.
Crud he'd want me to stop locking my damn keys in the car. I mean I'm supposed to be some super spy who can remember long strings of numbers after seeing them or hearing them only once. And here I am locking my damn keys in the car.
Maybe I will. For him. Not me. I could care less about me.
I get to my car and reach into my pocket.
I guess I didn't lock them in this time.
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Apparently I almost died.
The only thing that saved me was a mysterious vial of blood and a note. From her.
Her name is Sydney. I know this.
Facts are so reassuring to me.
I remember more every day.
A man visited me the other day. He was cold and worked well at intimidation.
He looked cut from stone. And he was very good at hiding his feelings, if he even had any.
He had orders from Devlin.
We were too attached.
I think I agree. From what I remember that is.
And the fact that I remembered her face, her voice, her touch, before I remembered my own name only goes to prove his words.
I was being reassigned to an office in New York when I returned to the country. Not that that was happening anytime soon.
I'm lucky to be alive. The virus did major damage, I'm told it's going to take awhile to get back to where I was before it. And I had more then a few brushes with death I'm told.
I am not to contact Ms. Bristow.
I'm thinking of saying screw it and contacting her anyway. She saved my life. She was my life at one time.
And I think I'm in love with her.
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They threw a party for me.
I smile at all their faces. Marshall is there, Dixon is there, so many others are as well.
Now they are working for the CIA and gratitude is written on the countless faces.
But I don't feel grateful. And I don't deserve their praise.
Vaughn does.
But he's not here. And never will be.
He should be standing next to me.
I told Devlin I quit and then left the party thrown in my honor.
I went to the pier and cried instead.
A/N: you didn't skip the chapter to read this note now did you…shame on you…ok now that we've established Vaughn is still kicking…I could have been really mean and withheld that information from you for quite a bit longer…I think a perfect place to cut you off would be after two more chapters. Yes… after two more chapters would be a great place to keep the fruit flying my way. Then I get back and post the final chapter and the epilogue. And then you can all take your fruit back and throw flowers instead. That's kinda conceited and narcissistic of me though isn't it? I'll work on that. And try to resist my evil urge to leave you all hanging.