Chapter Twenty-Six

Never Thought

A/N: Yeah. I'm really sick of the whining. Ok people. I spend a lot of time trying to fix this mess.  And now I wish I hadn't. I wish I would have just stopped it completely.  Frankly, I've been really nice to you guys this week and I'm really just sick of this.  Maybe I'm letting the PMS get to me…  But I'm pissed at you guys.  Yup pissed.  I give and give and give and give.  It's like you guys are never satisfied.  Ungrateful for every chapter.  I mean I could have waited weeks to post.  But anyway. I'm giving you the rest now.  Cause I don't give a damn anymore.  Next week when you have nothing to read…  have fun.  Ok anyway I know I told you I'd stick to English… well I lied.  This chapter has got some French and some Spanish in it.  I'm sure I mutilated both so I'm sorry in advance.  Get your translators out, cause I know you'll be interested.  I've translated all of the Spanish or rather Vaughn has.  But the French is not and I'm too lazy to put it in the notes.  Need a translator?  http://babelfish.altavista.com/tr   It's funner then I thought it would be.  Also the title and the little quote come from the song I Never Thought by Loni Rose.  Good stuff.

... For loving and leaving and gone for a season is not what I'm looking for.  I never thought that you would come. I never thought that I could love like this. This feeling inside me is growing and I never thought that you would come...

It's been two months since I've stepped foot inside the warehouse.  Well for business purposes anyway.

My heels don't click on the floor because I'm not wearing heels.  I look down at my sneakers, comfortable, laid back.  Everything is different here now.

I'm not watching where I'm going, not looking up.  I don't see him waiting.

I walk right into his open arms not even knowing he's there until my face is buried in his chest.

Then I freeze.  This is not Weiss.

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She's stiff in my arms.  I let her go and step back.

It was a stupid move on my part, the hug.  Though I was expecting her to know who was waiting.

Apparently she had no idea that it was me.

She reached up and cupped my face with her hands.  Quietly questioning me and herself.

She didn't believe I was really here. 

"Syd..."

"Don't let me wake up ok."  Then she was buried in my arms again, crying against my chest.

"Not until you want to."  I whispered and kissed the crown of her head.

"You're dead.  I'm losing it.  I want this to be real.  I want you.  I love you Michael.  But you're not really here.  You can't be.  I don't like this dream anymore.  I want to wake up."  She cried into my neck. 

"Hey Syd..."  I smile down at her intent on "waking her up."  She looks up at me and I waste no time in capturing her lips with mine.

Soft like rain on the window on a hazy summer's night.  Hypnotizing, memorizing, calming.   Her lips felt like home, tasted like heaven, and quivered under mine.  I could taste her tears, salty and sharp, her full lip so soft and vulnerable.  Sweet like nectar.

She pulls back leaving her soul in my mouth.

My eyes are still closed when her palm smacks my cheek.  Complete opposite of the kiss.  Rough and sharp.  Enraged.

"Bastard."  She bit out and turned to run.

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Alive.  He's alive.

My mind plays over the fact as my lips twist with his.  Gentle, he's so gentle and careful.

I can't take it and I pull back fearing the pain he can cause with that mouth.  The tears that will fall and mix with his words.

He hadn't tried to contact me in four months.  He let me believe he was dead for four months.

And now here he is.  Kissing me, treating me like his whore.  I'm not going to let him. 

The bastard could have told me he was alive.

He didn't have to break my heart a million times over.  And I was not going to let him play me.

His cheek is real under my palm.  My hand stings as I pull it away.  My eyes sting.  My heart... well it's somewhere under his feet.

I can't stay here. 

I turn to run and he grabs my arm.  His hand firm on my elbow.  Fingers tightening as I struggle to pull away.

"Let go."  My voice is cold venom.  There is no mistaking my anger at him.

"Syd I wanted to tell you.  I never knew they told you I was dead." 

Well I guess I could stay and listen to him.  Apparently they lied to him too.  But still he should have known that's what I'd think.

I turn to face him and a stupid tear falls down my face.  No he does not make me cry.  Never.

His finger wipes it away and tilts my chin up to look at me.

I will not look at him or I'm gone.  I know this.  And I cannot let this happen.

I look over his shoulder and he sighs.

"I called you almost every night."  I slap the hand that keeps my chin propped up, away from my face and start to pace yelling all the while.

"Fuck you Vaughn.  You never called.  And you damn well know it.  I thought you were dead for four months.  I've been in hell for four months and you have no idea how awful it has been.  Then you have the nerve to just pop back into my life when I'm finally starting to put you behind me."

"You can't even get out of bed.  I don't call that dealing."  He butted in.

"You did that to me.  God Vaughn.  I went back to McKain.  I would have slept with him for that vaccine.  I would have sold my soul for you.  And you don't even have the decency to let me know that you're ok.  I thought I meant something to you but apparently you're just like McKain."

"I wanted to tell you Syd.  I didn't know you thought I was dead.  I thought they'd told you. Your father told me that I was being transferred to New York.  That I couldn't have contact with you until SD-6 was taken down.  And I knew he was right.  Your cover would have been blown and then Sloane would have killed you.  You think I went out and partied it up every night.  God Syd. You were the first and last thing on my mind everyday."

"SD-6 has been gone for two months Vaughn.  And you couldn't pick up a phone in two months and tell me that you were alive.  Now all of a sudden you want me to just accept the fact that your back.  I can't do it Vaughn."

"Yesterday Weiss called me.  Told me that SD-6 was taken down.  That he was going against orders telling me.  Something about having to wait until the CIA was sure that you were safe.  He told me they'd told you I was dead.  If I'd known Syd I would have said something when I called.  I would have let you know."

"What the hell did you think I'd think?"

"I thought your father would have told you."

"He didn't."

"I gathered as much."

"No.  I can't do this.  It isn't enough.  You should have said something.  You should have known what I'd think.  Hell Vaughn.  You should have known."

"Comment est-ce que l'enfer j'aurais su?" 

I stopped pacing and raised an eyebrow at him.  He was yelling at me in French.  Which meant that I really must have hit a nerve.  Well good.

"Je ne sais pas Vaughn.  Je ne puis pas…"  I didn't know.  I just felt.  And the only thing I felt was awful the whole time.

"Je suis seulement humain. Si j'avais connu Syd…"  He broke off and looked at the floor.  "Je n'aurais jamais vous ai laissé ai blessé. Je déteste quand vous blessez. Je me déteste pour vous laisser blesser. Je veux juste prendre votre monde entier et le rendre indolore. Vous devez savoir cela."

"So you really called huh?"  He dared to smile.

"Almost every night.  And I must say you use some rather colorful adjectives."

"And you really thought about me?"  He crossed the distance between us and held his hand out.  I took it and he pulled me close and whispered his answer in my ear.

"More then I should. Mon bel ami.  More then anything else. Mon ange merveilleux.  More then you'll ever know. Mis más profundos de secretos" 

I pull back and look into his eyes questioning him.

"You know I followed you up to that last bit.  And far be it from me to dispute what you said.  But I'm dying to know what those incredibly sexy last few words were. Cause damn Vaughn…"  I smiled trying to ignore the overwhelming urge to kiss him.

"Sus ojos son hermosos. Y sus labios prueban como cielo. Los amo manera que se encrespan para arriba. Tan suavemente. Te amo Sydney Bristow. Le deseo para el resto de mi vida." He whispered in my ear, lips brushing. Stubble scratching and heat shooting through me.

"So are you gonna kiss me again or what?"  I smile.  I'd really love to hear his translation but right now kissing is definitely more important, not to mention a few other things I'd like to try with him.

"My deepest of secrets. You have beautiful eyes.  And your lips taste lip heaven. I love the way they curl up.  So soft.  I love you Sydney Bristow. I want you for the rest of my life."  He translated, while I might add, nibbling on my ear.

"Mmm...  Well you sure do talk a lot.  I mean it's been four months and you're still talking.  If you re---" my words are lost inside his mouth and I could care less.

He keeps getting better at that I think.