DISCLAIMER: I do not own CCS or any of its characters. CLAMP does. This plot is a product of my imagination. Any similarities to other fan fictions are unintentional.
UNFULFILLED LOVEBy bishounen lovah a.k.a. touya_mou
Chapter 8: Yoshiyuki
Yoshiyuki fidgeted in his seat. The hour was already up but still Dr. Morikawa was still in Rika-chan's room. In the three days that he stayed in the hospital watching over Rika-chan, it had become a daily ritual for the doctor to talk to her patient for an hour alone.
He would seize that opportunity to go to his sister's house to take a quick bath and have an equally quick chat with Yukino and her toddler son. Then he would rush back to the hospital to spend the rest of the day and night with Rika-chan.
He didn't mind sleeping on a cramped sofa. So long as he was near her, he was content. The others had seen the improvement in her and they told him about it. She smiled more often and on some occasions she would laugh a genuine laugh.
But still she didn't speak about what's troubling her. They were all still at dark as to what's the cause of her depression since Rika-chan wouldn't share it and Dr. Morikawa couldn't due to the boundaries of doctor-patient confidentialities.
All the others have given up hope that she would tell them although they were behind her 100%. Yoshiyuki however would not stop at that. He promised to himself that he would do everything possible to help her so he won't be easily discouraged with her lack of response.
She's been there for an hour and a half now, he thought after glancing at his wristwatch. What's taking her so long?
He waited for eight more minutes before he saw the doctor appear from the corner. He stood up to meet her but she gestured for him to sit down again. She entered the waiting room then closed the door behind her.
Yoshiyuki sat up in tense anticipation.
"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, Terada-san. Sasaki-chan and I had a lot to talk about," she said as she sat on the chair opposite his.
"Such as?"
"Such as her fast recovery from the overdose. Her blood work came back today and it shows that the drug is completely out of her system. This brings us to another topic. She no longer needs to stay here so I'm releasing her tomorrow."
"That's good news," he sighed out in relief.
"Not exactly," she replied with slight hesitation.
"What do you mean?" Yoshiyuki tensed up again.
"Well she still has her depression. I take it she hasn't told any of you about her problems yet?"
"Iie. We were hoping she would because we don't want to back her into a corner."
"The waiting can be very frustrating, I know. I have patients who had been coming to me for months now but still won't tell me what's troubling them. You have to be observant and read between the lines in order to know what you need to know."
He nodded in understanding and waited for her to continue.
"Our problem with Sasaki-chan is that she shouldn't be left alone at this stage of depression. What she needs is human contact. She can't go back to her apartment because she lives there alone. She won't go to her family because she doesn't want them to worry about her. Nor does she want to stay with her other friends because they would fuss over her, among other reasons."
His eyes flickered as he noted what she said. She just gave him a well-concealed hint. He would have to think about that later on.
"She can stay with me," he quickly suggested. "I mean my place is up in the mountains. There's plenty of fresh air and few distractions. It would be a great place for her to relax. And I promise I won't fuss over her."
"I was kind of hoping you would say that," Dr. Morikawa smiled. "Sasaki-chan had told me about your cabin some time ago and how she forgot her problem for almost two days. And I've seen the way you handled her these past few days. All I can say is that I couldn't have done better myself."
He beamed at her praise although he didn't tell her how frustrated he felt because he didn't know if what he was doing was right for Rika-chan. There were times when he wanted to shake some sense in her but of course he tried desperately to restrain himself.
"You should always be aware of her moods. There are times when she needs someone to hold her hands but there are also times when you need to step back. Your most important duty, however, is to watch over her anti-depressant intake without her knowing it. I'm going to give her a lower dosage but they are still dangerous when taken against the prescribed time and number.
I do not believe that she had taken those pills all at once nor is she capable of suicide. Sometimes when the depression is too strong it would cloud your mind and all you could ever think about is to make it go away. I believe that was what happened to her. She didn't realize how much she had taken in and just wanted the pain to go away."
"Wakatta," he said quietly as he took the doctor's warnings.
"All right then," she exclaimed as she stood up. "Let's see if we can persuade her to stay with you."
~A week later~
They were walking side by side at a snow-covered clearing near Yoshiyuki's cabin. After a while, they sat down on a log and watched Bono chase a petrified rabbit.
He looked at her from the corner of his eyes and saw the sad look pasted on her face again. It was the same look that he'd been seeing frequently as the days passed. He felt frustrated because she's starting to withdraw again, starting to hide behind her wall again.
He remembered Dr. Morikawa's last words to him before he drove away with Rika-chan.
"Stay strong and don't give up on her. Whatever you do, just don't give up on her," she quietly said to him.
And he tried desperately to do those things. He tried to be strong for the both of them but he's finding it hard to do so lately. It's hard not to give up on someone who has given up on herself.
But he can't give up on her. He won't. He will not let go of the woman he loves. He waited all of his life to find her and he won't let any damned depression take her away from him.
"What are you thinking?"
He looked at the woman beside him, thinking what he should answer her. He decided to take the offensive tactic.
"I'm thinking if the time will ever come when you'll trust me enough to tell me what your problems are."
He sighed as he watched Rika-chan look down at her folded hands, retreating behind that damn wall again. Looking up at the clear sky, he said a silent prayer to Kami-sama asking Him to give him some more patience.
"Gomen nasai," he apologized after a while. "I shouldn't have said that."
"Iie. You've been nothing but good to me. I appreciate your concern but it's hard for me to open up to someone especially since I've been keeping my depression from everyone for such a long time."
"Do you want to talk about it now?"
"Gomen nasai," she whispered tearily.
Yoshiyuki moved closer to her and placed his arm around her in a tight hug. He then pushed her head so it would rest against his chest and placed his chin on top of it. "You don't need to apologize to me. Take your time. But don't ever think that you have to face your problems alone. Always remember that I am here for you no matter what."
He smiled softly as he felt her head nod in understanding. His arms instinctively tightened around her. It felt good having the woman of his dreams in his arms. He would have given anything to just sit there peacefully beside her but then it wasn't right because one, they would freeze to death and two, he had no right to think of such thoughts when Rika-chan is suffering from inner turmoil.
Just then, Bono appeared behind them and grabbed his muffler with his mouth and tugged hard several times. On his last tug, the muffler came loose from Yoshiyuki's neck and was dragged across the clearing.
He quickly stood up and ran after the dog and his piece of clothing. He must have looked absurd, chasing after a dog and yelling like hell, because he heard a fairly loud bout of gleeful laughter. He stopped chasing the dog and sent a fake glare to the laughing woman.
"So you find this funny, do you? Let me hear you laugh when your neck is freezing," he said as he ran towards her to snatch her muffler.
He expected her to run away from him but she didn't. She just stood up and backed away from the log. She twisted and turned so he won't be able to touch her muffler. When he was able to grab it he quickly tugged but instead of getting the muffler he got Rika-chan. His tug had almost slammed her body against his.
"Daijoubu?" He quickly asked as he released the muffler to hold her steady. She looked up at him and what he saw made his heart stop beating. Her smile was so beautiful that he felt his breath get stuck in his throat. And her eyes…her eyes were so bright as though they were gleaming with…with mischief?
Before he knew it, Rika-chan raised her hand and pulled on the neck of his sweater underneath his bulky jacket. She dumped a handful of snow that she was hiding in her gloved hand.
Yoshiyuki yelped as the snow touched his skin. He quickly tried to unzip his jacket but failed a couple of times because of his thick gloves not to mention that he's starting to shiver madly from the cold snow. By the time he finally got the snow out of his sweater, Rika-chan was almost doubling over from laughter.
"That's the last straw Rika Sasaki! I'll get you this time," he shouted in a threatening voice.
This time she ran away from him. They chased each other around the clearing throwing roughly made snowballs. Bono joined in on the fun by chasing the person nearest him then reverting his attention to the other one.
Then the time came when Yoshiyuki had caught Rika-chan's arm. However, he lost his footing when he almost stepped on Bono. He fell down to the ground taking Rika-chan with him.
He twisted his body to make sure that she would not land on the cold snow-covered ground. She fell directly on top of him, their faces almost touching.
Suddenly he was having trouble breathing and it wasn't because he was winded from their little exercise. He could feel the whole length of Rika-chan's body against his. He could feel every breath that she takes on his face and against his chest.
And he knows that she could feel his on her as well as the hard thumping motion of his heart.
His arm instinctively went around her waist to keep her from falling off him. He saw that her eyes flickered in reaction to this movement. All right…perhaps he hugged her to him not just to keep her from falling off. He wanted to feel her warm body close to his.
She gasped as his arms tightened a fraction closer. He knew he should release her but again his body has a mind of its own.
Gazing at her flushed face, the first thought that entered his mind was how breathtaking her beauty is. Her face and body are starting to fill up as an effect to his slaving over his stove in order to make tempting dishes for her. The dark rings around her eyes are barely noticeable unless one stares at it for a long time. And the luster in her brown eyes had replaced the dullness that was present a week and a half ago.
And her lips.
His eyes were drawn to her luscious red lips. He had wondered how she kept her lips that red even if she doesn't use lipstick. He still does. But he has other stuff on his mind right now.
Like how soft can her lips be.
Or what taste would they have.
Giving in to the temptation, his right hand slowly slid up Rika-chan's back then buried itself in her soft mane. He felt her shiver in reaction. Savoring the feeling it created on his body, his hand closed on a handful of hair and gently pushed her head towards his.
He saw her lips quiver and he unconsciously licked his in anticipation. Everything was going into slow motion and it seemed like years had already passed but her lips were still going down and down.
And down.
Their eyes closed a fraction of a second before their lips met. Both of them shivered when this happened out of sheer fulfillment of anticipation.
Yoshiyuki had his answers. Rika-chan's lips were definitely as soft as they looked, maybe even more. And they tasted like strawberries…sweet…unbearably sweet. He passed the tip of his tongue against her slightly open lips as though asking permission to enter her mouth.
As soon as he gained entry, the tender kiss instantly became a passionate one. He buried his hand deeper in her hair and tilted her head to one side so he could reach deeper into her mouth. Their tongues met and teased each other almost driving him to insanity.
He can't believe the rush of emotions flooding his entire being. No other kiss had made him feel like this.
Love.
Ecstasy.
Lust.
Excitement.
Love.
By the time he felt her nibbling on his lower lip he knew he was a goner.
Their heart-thumping, mind-blowing, soul-shattering kiss ended much sooner that what he had wanted. Both of them were breathing hard and could feel their hearts beating fast. They looked at each other with eyes glazed with passion.
Suddenly, Bono came out of nowhere and barked loud in their ears. Rika-chan gave a start then quickly looked away.
"Gomen nasai," she whispered as she scrambled to get off him. She got up and brisk walked to the cabin with her head down.
Yoshiyuki slammed his head against the ground as an act of reprimand. Trust his overzealous libido to make matters worse.
He saw her eyes flicker with confusion before she looked away. As magical as he thought their kiss was, he knew that it only made Rika-chan's life more complicated. And he knew that she doesn't need any more complications.
He wouldn't apologize though. She was with him 100% all throughout the kiss. Come to think of it, he wasn't sorry at all. If Kami-sama was to rewind the last few minutes he would still kiss her. The only thing he would change was the length of time of the kiss. He would make it longer and much more satisfying if it were possible.
He sighed in resignation. He should check on her and see if she got upset so he got up and followed her bending once to pick up his discarded muffler.
To be continued…
bishlov: Hentai!!! *points at Yoshi-kun*
Yoshi-kun: I am not. Go lick a frozen mailbox or something.
bishlov: Are you sure you don't want to do it yourself? Looks like your tongue is on fire from that little exercise *wink wink*.
Yoshi-kun: Shut up!!!
bishlov: ohohohohohoho *right hand over lips*
Notice: No animals were harmed in this chapter particularly the rabbit that Bono was chasing so don't report me to any animal rights group.
bishlov: I got Rika-chan's doctor's name from FoR. Morikawa is the last name of the Kata Kugutsu wielder…Ganko Morikawa. You know…that small blond kid with that annoying live stuffed fox. Oh well…ja ne!!!