WHEN PLUTOS ATTACK! CHAPTER 4 OUTTAKE
Angie: Hi hi! It's your friendly neighborhood hentai,
Angie-chan. (though you worshippers may call me Emporess-sama
if you wish!) Today's Outtake is a bit stranger than usual.
(if that's even possible...) Although, as we all know, Fangirls
usually have their free reign in all fanfiction, we can still
be defeated. (Unless your facing Anarchy of course. 100%
Avatars are *not* to be trifled with!) (0.0) As much as it
pains me to admit, I too can be challenged by an evil
competitor at times. Low and behold, watch the poor Angie-chan
battle for her hard-earned ecchiness!
Andrea: (in her negligee from Outtake 3) Angie-chan, you can
do it! Don't let him stop you! Use the power of the Perv!
Angie: Hai! Nothing stops me! I just keep going, and going,
and going...
Scott: Don't you mean "coming and coming..."?
(Image of a Super-Deformed Angie-chan with sunglasses and
'scarves')
Angie: I think I would be a WAY cuter mascot then the Energizer
Bunny, ne?
Scott: (-_-) The world is doomed to think hentai...
Angie: (holds up her two fingers and flashes a V for Victory
sign) My ad campaign will be more popular then Budweiser's
and Microsoft's commercials combined. Viva la hentai! Bring
on the fanservice!
DS: (grumpily walking into the intro) Damnit, haven't you
quit with that Eva innuendo yet?
Angie: (still in her bunny outfit) You're one to talk.
(points at the Evangelions cluttering his desk)
Scott: (blink blink) Hey did you look in his drawers? He has
a picture of Asuka in here getting-- (o.O)
DS: (GROWL!) Ok that's it! No more Intros! And quit
molesting my Eva:01 Ecchi-grrl! It's fragile!
Angie: (fiddling with neat little toy) :P Hush your
Gothship, I know what I'm--
Snap
Angie: (sweatdrop) Aaa... Don't worry DS. I'm sure that arm
will go rrrrright back on there.
DS: (evil aura erupting) ....
Scott and Angie: Run away! Run away!
****************************************************************
Angie grinned as she listened to the Pluto's fading
rants. "Don't hold your breath." She turned away from the door,
heading back over to the bed, excitement taking hold again.
"Sorry about that ladies--" She stopped as her mouth gaped open
in shock.
All three of her bedroom companions were passed out. Not
one twitch, not one fluttering eyelash. Each one was spent with
totally blissed out looks on their faces. And the reason for this
was perched casually in the middle of them, hands folded behind
his head. "Hello Angie-chan! Miss me?"
"What the hell are you doing here?!"
****************************************************************
"When Plutos Attack!"
By Scott "Cyclops" Summerton, Emporess and his
Gothship, DarkSong
(thrawn27@hotmail.com, Empores88@hotmail.com,
darksong@worldserpent.org)
Chapter 4 Outtake: "Who Will Have The True Power To Bring About
Fanfic Ecchilution?"
****************************************************************
"That's a fine way to greet a friend," the occupant on the
bed smiled ruefully at her. "Here I make a special trip to check
on you, and this is the thanks I get?"
She continued to glare at him. "Check on me huh? Looks more
like you stole my girlies!" Angie/Juri pointed disdainfully at the
exhausted locals surrounding him. "They're useless to me now!"
He let out a long-suffering sigh as he threw his legs over
the side of the bed and stood. "It's not my fault you couldn't
entertain them properly. It would have been a crime to leave them
unfulfilled after all." Flipping his long red hair over his
shoulder he grinned wolfishly at her. "I'm fairly disappointed
in you, Ecchi-grrl. Why are you bothering with them when you
could play with Miki or Kozue... or both?"
"Been there, done them." She stated, sticking her tongue
out at him while walking closer. They both seemed unconcerned with
each others nakedness. "Not only did you ruin my chance with these
three, but you had to jump into my next one! I was really looking
forward to Touga too! I thought you were more the 'Saoinji' type."
"Aw, is Chibi-Angie upset?" The person inhabiting Touga
sneered while she pouted. "As if I'd really let you run through my
favorite series without me! Can't let you have all the fun!" His
expression turned thoughtful. "Which reminds me, where is my Utena?
I can't wait to play with her!"
Now it was her turn to laugh. "So sorry DS! Utena at the
moment is inhabited by Scott-chan. Unless you want to get personal
with him, I'd say you're out of luck!"
Touga's chiseled face turned stormy at that piece of
information. "Damn. Scott-kun would ruin all the good points in
my feisty girl." He shrugged. "Oh well, plenty of other babes in
this show. As long as I keep Wakaba and that damn Nanami away,
I'll be fine."
"How did you get here DS?! Me and Scott-chan are the only
ones with the Garnet!" she hissed. "Surely if you had the power
to jump into Utena, you would have done it a long time ago!"
DS shook his head at her outburst. "Too true. I would
have taken advantage of this before now. After you and Scott-kun
left, we all started looking for you. We knew if we found
ecchiness, chances were we'd find you."
"We?!" she screeched.
"Hai! Lise-chan worked out a little portal into your realm.
Me, her, Tena--" He paused seeing her eyebrow begin to twitch.
"What, you don't want the company?"
"Of course I don't! The last thing I need is a rival when
I'm trying to get my fan service." She growled, trying to intimidate
him with Juri's glacial stare.
He remained unaffected, chuckling amused at her. "You're not
my rival! You're just a pain in the ass!" Her infuriated expression
just made him chortle more. "Ne, you even look a little like Lina in
your normal form."
The eyebrow twitch turned into a full body tremor as her rage
increased. "I am NOT Lina Inverse! I am WAY better built then that
ironing board!" A deadly tone entered her voice. "This show isn't
big enough for the both of us. I suggest you vacate it till I've had
my fill."
"Ho ho! Is that a threat, Angie-chan?" From his superior
height he studied the younger woman, cupping her chin with one hand
and turned her head one way, then the other to admire her profile.
"I'd reconsider that if I were you. Crossing me could be painful,
little girl."
"LITTLE GIRL?!" She thundered back at him, slapping his
hand away. They both stared at each other a moment. 'We're too
much alike.' was their simultaneous thought.
"What does that make you, old and moldy?!" She forged
ahead, not giving him a chance to reply. "That does it. I've
had it with you! Only one of us is going to have nubile anime
babes in this fic, and that person is me!"
"If you insist on not being civil." He snapped his
fingers, the school uniform appearing on Touga's frame. "I'll
be waiting at the rooftop, Angie-chan." Evil giggles moved
through the room as he faded from view.
"Shimatta!" With a hiss she began searching for her
discarded clothes. "How in the hell does he do that anyway?"
After throwing on the proper attire she walked towards the door.
Her hand closed on the knob but paused there as the little hairs
on the back of her neck tingled, almost as if she was being
watched. Turning slowly to the window she faced a gigantic
yellow eyeball.
"KYAAAA!" the otaku in Juri shrieked, trying to become
one with the wall. Unfortunately the Ohtori Uniform did not
blend well with the wallpapering. The owner of the yellow eye
blinked and moved back from the window, letting her see more of
him. "DB-chan!"
The kawaii 80-ft dragon-beast flashed her a toothy grin,
revealing his fangs. A low chuckle erupted from his lips causing
vibrations across the school, wreaking havoc. (Though not
SUMMONING the fanboy Havoc. Had it, C-ko would not have to worry
about wearing too many panties EVER again!)
Angie in Juri hurried over to the window, throwing it
open. "Ohayo, Sayhaya. Need a lift?" Nodding happily, the
ecchi-grrl climbed onto the dragon's back. He flapped his wings
once, lifting them into the air.
It was a majestic sight, his wings spreading out to full
size. Angie snuggled into DB's back. "Now, THIS is the way to
travel. Ne, Db-chan, head over to that rooftop there, where
the student council meets." She pointed to a building in the
distance and began to chuckle. "I can't wait till DS sees your
on my side! HA! I will be the Ota-ecchi-Queen!"
Db headed to where she pointed. "Sayhaya, you know the
rules. No outside interference. I can't get in the middle of
your battle with DarkSong."
Angie pouted, a look almost alien to Juri's austere face.
"But Db-chan..."
"No buts," he said, silencing her. "I'm only here to
watch. "A match of Anything-Goes-Ecchi-fu is something I just
couldn't resist..."
At the same time an elevator began to climb up the
aforementioned building. Three shadowed silhouettes appeared as
Touga's voice began a monologue. "The world of anime if full of
gainax waiting to be groped."
The silhouette on the left wore what appeared to be a
dress and had a helmet shadow. The silhouette on the right leaned
against the side of the elevator nonchalantly, looking distinctly
like Touga. "If the ecchi-grrl is not stopped, she will have all
the nubile babes."
The last form seemed to be hanging from the ceiling,
swinging back and forth from the rafters. A chorus of voices
joined together as one. "Defeat the Ecchi-Queen! For the
Ecchilution of the world!"
With the last phrase the elevator doors swung open to the
roof where the student council met. There a woman in a familiar
gold dress sat toying with metal wristbands she was wearing. "So
you think you can beat her?" She casually pointed her hand at a
bull's-eye, ending a bright beam of energy to annihilate the
target.
"Do you doubt my power, Tena?" He asked arching an eyebrow.
He stopped and shook his head as she glared at him. "I'm sorry,
'Galaxia-sama'" he snickered at the glowering fangirl. "And of
course I can! I've seen the whole series, whereas Angie-san is
limited to Episode 25, where things just START to get interesting."
His smile was cruel. "She's screwed."
"I dunno," she began as she watched him make a few
impressive practice swipes with his sword. "We've seen evidence
of her ecchi-fu before." At that they both turned to the still
open doors of the elevator. A shirtless man with sunglasses held
to the top, legs dangling beneath him.
"Hotcha!" exclaimed the fanboy Reikun who now resembled
Rei-kun of Child's Toy.
DS and Tena both looked at each other and shook their heads.
"He's never been the same since 'Death Reborn Ecchilution.' Poor
Rei-kun."
The duelist remained unconcerned. "He proves my point. She
was aiming for me and missed. As long as I dodge that, I'm fine."
He glanced across the rooftop impatiently. "Where the hell is she,
anyway?"
As if on cue the giant flap of wings was heard.
DarkSong looked to the skies to see the giant reptilian
shape approaching. "Konnichi-wa, Dragonbeast-sama. It's good to
see you here, even if you do bear that troublesome little girl on
your back. I take it you're here to watch the festivities, ne?"
DB alighted more gently than an 80-foot dragon should have
had a right to, and extended a wing for Angie to slide down to the
balcony. As she landed, she reached into a hyperpocket and pulled
out the Silence Glaive, a sinister look twisting her features.
"You call me little girl one more time, and I'll blast you clear
into a Pokemon episode!" She shouted as she brandished her weapon
menacingly.
"Oh Angie, you're so cute when you're angry..." DS
remarked, an infuriating grin filling Touga's features.
"I'm always kawaii, especially when I'm-- STOP THAT!!!"
Angie shrieked. "We're here to have a duel to decide who'll get
to stay here and reap the benefits of all the nubile lovelies here.
The loser leaves upon conceding the duel. Fair enough?"
"I have no problem with it, ecchi-grrl. Just as long as
you're ready to lose gracefully." He smirked. "Oh, and be sure to
take Scott-kun with you. I want my Utena-chan back." He added.
"We'll see about that, OLD man." She snarled back.
"Oh, and you've got that canopener again, I see." He
sneered. "Why don't you learn to put that thing to a good use,
like helping Te--er, Galaxia-sama out of that outfit, and into
something more... comfortable."
Angie gritted her teeth, trying to keep her temper.
"Galaxia-sama, would you do us the honor of being the judge for
this duel?" She shifted her grip on the weapon as not to let her
opponent see her white knuckles to indicate he was getting to her.
"I'd be happy to judge this match. Are you ready, Angie?"
Tena asked.
"Hai! Let's rock!" Angie replied
"And are you ready, DS?"
"Well, since she insists on using THAT," DS said, pointing
to the canopener in question, "that makes this rather useless." He
tossed the sword he held in his hand over the ledge, where a couple
of seconds later a CLANG noise was heard, followed by a "chuuuuuu".
"No worries, he's an anime mascot - he's indestructible"
"Now, to summon a suitable weapon to make this a fair
fight." He held one hand, palm up, at waist level, and a globe of
blackness the size of a grapefruit coalesced, floating above his
palm.
DS grinned, and looked around him, at the expressions of
the others. "I learned this during that summer vacation I spent
with in the Guardian Realms with Tiara, the Shamanic Princess.
She taught me a coupla tricks, and I showed her a few as well."
He winked at the others. "HOTCHA!"
Angie snarled. "Any time now, or are you afraid?" A
snickering was heard from the others.
"No respect for betters - where is this world going to?"
DarkSong flipped up the hand the orb was hovering over, and
grasped it in a claw-like grip, squeezing it. He furrowed his
brow in concentration, and it lengthened into a metre-long bar of
blackness. He looked up Angie holding the Silence Glaive, and
said to himself "Bigger is better." With another convulsive
squeeze, it lengthened out to 2 metres, where he grasped it like
a stave and spun it around himself rapidly.
"NOW, I am ready, Galaxia-sama. We can begin on your
signal." He said, grinning and showing fangs not normally seen
on Touga.
Tena-in-Galaxia strode purposefully between the two Otaku
and held up a hand. "Then let us--"
Just then a loud squeal disrupted the group. A still half
naked Rei-kun was being dragged across the roof by a dust cloud.
The figure finally stopped and deposited him in the middle of the
crowd. "Nobody moves until I get an answer!" came the rather
perturbed prepubescent voice.
"Oneeii-chan!" yelled Angie, waving happily.
"Oh shit, just what I need." moaned DS.
Yes, much to His Gothship's horror, MerliWolf had made
the scene. Not as MerliWolf however, but as that delightful
bundle of energy from Kodomo no Omocha--
"Onee-chan!" cried out Sana-chan, star of Child's Toy,
before rushing over to hug her. Of course, Sana couldn't do
this and stand still so they ended up bouncing up and down.
And since the now ecchified Rei-kun was also in the cuddle with
them--
"Gainax! Hotcha!" He proclaimed before copping a feel
on Angie/Juri's more then ample cleavage.
"Iie, Rei-kun!" Sana-chan squealed, reaching an even
higher octave level. Letting go of Juri, she pulled Rei-kun
away and began pounding him into the concrete floor. "Iie,
that's not the way my Rei-kun is supposed to act! Iie, iie,
iie!"
"Make it stop!" DS hissed, covering his ears with his
hands.
Sana got all bambi-eyed as she pulled Rei-kun sporting
a band-aid over to DS. "But look at him! Sana can't stand seeing
Rei-kun act like this! Like Hamaya! It's not right! It's not
natural! It's not-- not--"
DS took out Mama's Baka Hammer and pummeled the Otaku
over the head with it. Looking satisfyingly at the crater he had
created, he shook his head. "Why in the world any guy would want
to be that hyperactive little menace is--"
With that the ground underneath him erupted as Sana-chan
toppled the dark-Otaku to the ground. She/he made a V for
Victory sign. "Daijobu, Sana-chan is fine!"
"Like anyone cares..." mumbled DS from his position on
the ground. He tore at the silly bandaid that sprang up on the
side of his head and met his arch-nemesis' laughter.
"Troubles?" she snickered. "How can you expect to defeat
me when you can't even handle Oneeii-chan?"
"I can deal with Merli just fine--" He paused in
mid-sentence and gave her a look of disbelief. "What the hell
did you just call him?"
"Oneeii-chan!" Angie replied happily. "Brother/sister
all in one!"
By this time, Sana-chan had began to protest ever louder
about Rei-kun's state. Tena, having had all she could take, put
a comforting hand around the prepubescent. "Merli, I have a job
for you."
"Mmm?" asked Sana, giving a few more dramatic sniffles.
"What if we let you do the play-by-play for the fight?"
Seeing Sana's hesitation, she quickly added. "You get a
microphone..."
The tears on the little otaku immediately vanished.
Before anyone knew quite what was happening, Merli-in-Sana had
set up a boxing ring, complete with stools for the two contenders
to sit on. Somehow she also produced a table in front, for
herself. "Sana-chan is SO happy to be here today, announcing the
most honorable battle of Ecchi-Fu with her two Co-Anchors, ne
Rei-kun?" She turned to the tied up object of her affections.
"HOTCHA!" (actually it was more like "GMOTGAS!" thanks
to the gag...)
"What about you, DB-chan?" she asked, looking far down
the table where the 80 foot long dragon was seat-- urm, sprawled.
"Keep me out of this." He murmured with enough force to
vibrate the entire roof.
"Ohhhhhh-k," she stuttered till the table quit moving.
Without warning she jumped into the ring and took the mic that
was hanging down. "In the first corner, the Otaku presently
in Juri, the destroyer of Pluto's psyches, the groper of bosoms,
able to stick her 'scarves' everywhere, Onee-chan!"
Angie went to the center of the ring and blew a kiss at
DB, showing off the robe she now had looped around her shoulders.
On the back, written in glittering kanji, was the title
'Ota-Ecchi-Queen.' A fake applause track could be heard in the
background.
"And in this corner, the Otaku presently in Touga, the
Dark Lord of the Perv, notorious for fics like 'La Blue Sakura';
'Ohtori Security Agency'; 'Legend of the Cutiefiend'; and--"
"Tena-chan and the Space Octopus!" called out Tena
happily.
"I told you Tena, there's no WAY I'm writing that!" DS
thundered back.
"Can Sana-chan finish?!" Sana hissed, silencing them
both. "As Sana-chan was saying, His Royal Gothship, DS!"
DS walked to the middle, his own black robe showing the
kanji for 'Ota-Ecchi-King.' He heard the mechanical soundtrack
of boos and hissing and shrugged it off.
Tena-chan stepped to the middle of the ring, looking
fairly ridiculous with a referee's shirt over her Galaxia
costume. "I want a good, clean match. No hits below the belt,
no satellite strikes, no ecchilutions, and no--" She glanced at
DS. "Well, you know you can't use THAT attack in this series."
DS pouted for an instant. "Oh, c'mon though, it's *so*
cool--"
"Nuh-uh," she said, shaking her golden helmet. "You can
not destroy our favorite series in a gratuitous smiting
sequence."
"Hmph," he muttered. Advancing to the middle of the ring
he waved the super long staff around in an arc and trained it on
Angie. "Show me what ya got!"
But before the girl could continue the narrator had to
pause to collect her thoughts since she had never SEEN Shamanic
Princess, and had no idea what would happen if she attacked his
Gothship, who wasn't responding to her in IRC chat.
Ahem, ok, so I'm admitting weakness as the author
here... So sue me P.
Scott: Talking to the audience directly is another cop off of
Chao--
Angie: (hitting Scott with the computer mouse like a bola) You
mean the author-who-cannot-be-mentioned don't you?
Scott: (blink) Exactly, stealing stuff from Chaos is wro--
Angie: (smacking the dub boy with her keyboard) You just go back
to writing Chapter 5, k? I'll steal as I please for my part P
Scott: Writing, we're actually in the fic, not writing it...
but there HAS to be writers if we're characters in a fic... so
that means WE are the authors, but we're trapped in the fic...
Wait a second, how can I even be here, I'm supposed to be in
Utena wandering around the school right now... @_@
DS: (ignoring Scott's descent into insanity) The
"author-who-cannot-be-mentioned" ? Who's that - Oscar? *cringes
as the two turn to glare at him* JOKE!!! It's a JOKE! Quit
throwing stuff at me - OW! Damnit! You know he's right tho,
Angie. OW! Get back to the story - it'll hurt less. :|
Now where were we? Oh yea, Otaku Deathmatch. ^_^v Cool!
Pressing the Glaive forward, she moved on towards DS.
Metal hit metal with a clang. DS' superior Touga height gave him
a bit of an advantage. "You know ecchi-grrl, your not entirely
unappealing in Juri." He thrust forward, lodging the staff just
under her neck. "After I defeat you, perhaps we can adjourn to a
more private location where you can congratulate me-- properly."
"Might," she grunted, unable to dislodge the big stick.
The idea of losing to DS, and this early in the fight disgusted
her. Twisting the handle of her Glaive around, she pried the
staff away from her neck, somersaulting backwards out of
Touga/DS' reach.
"Admirable move, Ecchi-grrl, but I think you broke your
can opener." He chuckled and pointed to the two halves of the
once intact weapon.
"My glaive-chan!" Angie called out forlornly, hugging
the dismembered pieces to her chest. She opened her Ecchi-space
pocket, tucking them in for re-assembling later. Her eyes
focused on the snide smile of her opponent. "That's it, no more
Miss Nice Fangirl."
She reached down the front of Juri's uniform to pull out
what resembled a Senshi communicator. Pressing the button, she
paused and stared out at DarkSong evilly. "They'll be here in
a moment."
"Who?" he asked warily.
"You'll see..." she murmured.
Her Ladyship Readwolf walked the halls of the convention
center, her glee written all over her face. So far, she had
managed to pick up nearly everyone on her list. The only one
she was missing was--
"Quatre-kun!" she waved happily, when spotting his
cherub form signing autographs. Advancing through the crowd,
she grabbed the resistant pilot and pulled him away. "I'm so
happy to find you! The others are waiting!"
"Others?" he asked, trying to keep his arm attached to
his shoulder as she tugged him away. "What do you mean by
'others'??"
She gave him a wink. "Oh, come on now, surely you've
heard of the Yaoi harem I've cooked up! I sent invitations out
to all of you."
Aware of her intentions, he tried to pull back, unable
to escape her grip. "Y-y-yaoi--" he stuttered.
"Don't play dumb with me! Everyone knows about you
pilots!" She overrode his objections with a wave of her hand.
"This Mecha2000 con was the perfect place to round you all up."
"You got them all?" he asked in denial.
"Well, Heero put up a bit of a scuffle," she huffed.
"Seems he has a 'mission' or something to complete. But with
Duo and Zechs there to 'persuade' him..."
"B-but I-- I mean I'm not--" he protested weakly.
Andrea's reply was cut off by a beeping at her waist.
Glancing down she checked the number of her Ecchi-cater.
"Angie-chan is dueling again. What a time to be calling me."
She paused, undecided on how to handle the situation. On one
hand she was so close to completing her collection. On the
other she had her obligation as a Fangirl to consider.
Stuck in this reverie, she didn't notice Quatre sneak
out of her grip. Not until she went to squeeze his hand, and
noticed how different it felt. Sort of slippery. Kind of
like a-- fin?!
Clutched to her hand was not the 14 year old wet dream,
but a penguin. EVA's mascot focused its beady eyes on her.
"SQUAWK!"
"Damnit! I *knew* I should have brought Trowa with me
for this! I'll have my inverse rule #3 yet!" She swiftly
punted Pen Pen out of the way and looked for the blonde-haired
pilot. Angie was just going to have to wait...
Somewhere in the suburbs of Chicago, Sailor Moon fanfic
author Kate B. was busy doodling in her notebook. The picture
she was working on had the body of a Pokemon. The face
resembled that of a young man the author's age, and was wearing
a mask and cape. She penciled in the words "Tuxedo Bri-achu" to
complete the drawing with a satisfied smile. Just then she
noticed the beeping noise.
"Jo'o-sama is in trouble!" she cried out purposefully.
Jumping from her bed into the closet, she emerged seconds later
complete in a satin teddy with a cape. She turned to the orange
and white cat curled up on the floor. "Watch the fort Orb, I'm
off to help the cause of ecchi!"
The cat opened one eye carefully. "Just be sure not to
bring back anymore recruits for the Beastiality Corps. You
remember what happened last time."
The chibi-otaku rolled her eyes. "It's not like Trowa's
lion actually DIGESTED you. He spit you out after a few bites!"
Not allowing the cat a chance to retort, she disappeared in a
puff of illogic.
Angie had held off DS so far by throwing a barrage of
'scarves' at his direction. Now the vibrating contraptions were
batted away by his HT field, causing no damage, but they did
keep him busy. "You are SUCH a copy cat." She scolded him,
watching the last of them bounce away.
"What do you mean?" He asked arching an eyebrow. He
gestured to the shield he had thrown around himself. "I've
ALWAYS used a Hentai Terror field. Besides, you're the one who
started this series to begin with, so technically, you're the
thief. I'm simply trying to consolidate my claim as the most
ecchi."
Purple light cut off her reply. In the center of the
arena appeared SuperKate, upside down and floating in the air.
"I'm here, Emporess-sama!" She tried to push the cape out of
her face so she could take in her mentor.
"Hime-chan, get down from there!" Angie pulled her
over to her corner, causing the Otaku to discover gravity
and fall to the floor. "This is a serious fight and I need
your help!"
"I'm on it, your majesty!" She murmured, trying to
get the stars that had appeared out of her vision. "How can
I help?"
The Ecchi-grrl pointed to His Gothship, currently
reclining in his corner and getting a rub down from Shiori.
You see him, Hime-chan? That is our mortal enemy in all
things ecchi."
SuperKate gasped. "DarkSong?!"
Angie nodded. "We have the chance to stop him in
his tracks once and for all!"
"Alright! I've been waiting a long time to smite
something!" SuperKate stated, making a fist and pumping it
in the air. "I'm finally gonna put my troops to good use."
Angie made a face and shook her head. "Not a
chance! There is NO way I'm going to win a battle using
your Beastiality Corps!" she shuddered. "Besides, I told
you to disband those!"
The chibi-otaku crossed her arms over her chest and
pouted. "But they're so cute! I've got all the Pokemon,
P-chan from Ranma, cat girl Nuku-Nuke, and... Mokona..."
her eyes got dreamy as she began to murmur, "Puuu...
Puuuuuuuu..."
Juri's body took on some disgusted spasms. "If I
ever find where you keep those, I'm bringing Rampage to a
feast. Did you bring that bag I told you to keep for me?"
"Hai!" SuperKate reached down her teddy and began
pulling out different objects. "Let's see, copy of National
Ecchi-graphic, collar, Pikachu, Relena fanclub card... Hey!
I found my Ecchi-O's! Did you eat breakfast yet Jo'o-sama?"
"Never mind that!" her mentor roared.
"Are you sure? They're chockfull of lemon
freshness!" SuperKate asked, waving the box in her hands.
"I'll take some Hime-chan!" DS called out to her.
"Coming at ya," she said, tossing him a bowl.
"Don't forget, they're extra creamy in milk!" She dug
deeper down her cleavage, until locating the black leather
bag.
"Heya toots!" DS leered, looking up from his
Ecchi-O's. "What else you got down there? Can I see? Hotcha!"
SuperKate shook her head, laughing to herself and opening the
bag, she took out the contents, a lone binder with red lettering.
"When Plutos Attack! author notes..." she read, gasping. "Am I
even allowed to be looking at these?"
"Hai, hai, they're Scott's notes, not mine." She gave
the girl a V-sign. "He thinks we have a semblance of 'plot'
going on. Baka." She gestured for the girl to open it up.
"You've gotta find an attack in there that I can use against His
Gothship."
SuperKate started leafing through the clutter of notes.
"Mmmm, did you try the ecchilution yet?"
Angie shook her head and pointed at Rei-kun, who was
hopping after Tena, trying to get the Galaxia suit off of her.
"No good. Besides, the glaive got split. What else do ya got."
"Welllll..." she trailed off, reading a line for an
upcoming scene. "Scott's going to be pregnant in WHO?!" she
cried out.
Angie sighed. "We cut that chapter, since we don't know
Sean. Keep looking!" She watched Sana and DS, who had been
revitalized by the Ecchi-O's, start to karaoke to the song Junk
Boy. (Can't touch you, Junky Junk Boy! ^^).
"Wait, here's something," she cried, pointing at the
scribbles. "Since you cut the Gaffney chapter with Scott as a
pregnant Hotaru and you doing some weird stuff with pudding and
a crown (o_O) you told DS he could write Chapter 6."
"We did?!" Angie squealed, looking into the notebook.
"Great, I can just imagine what evil he's going to put us
through..."
"Most of it seems to be secret even from Scott..." Kate
stated. "But, DS had to tell Scott to add something to Chapter
5 to foreshadow 6, so you can use that against him now!"
Juri/Angie blinked at SuperKate. "I don't think you
made ONE bit of sense. What is it?!"
SuperKate leaned over to whisper in Angie's ear.
Juri's eyes grew wide with delight. She stood up straighter
and gave the Hime-chan a little grope. "Good job, Hime-chan!
Remind me to Treat you later!"
She advanced purposefully to DS, who handed Sana back
his/her mic. "Are you finally ready to admit defeat,
Ecchi-grrl?"
"Not quite." she purred, adding a little wiggle to
her steps. Stopping just in front of him, she ran a hand
down the front of her uniform, unbuttoning one at a time.
"You know, even I have to admire the way you've mastered the
power of the Perv."
"Really?" he asked, watching the uniform jacket slip
off her shoulders. His grip on his big-ass-staff (no, not
that one, you hentais! :P) lessened as he let his guard down.
"In fact," she whispered, "I just realized how silly
it is for us to be fighting. Imagine what we could do if we
worked together!"
"Perhaps we should-- consummate--" he grinned
lustfully at her, "our relationship." He put the two meter
long stick aside, seeing no reason to hold the weapon when he
could be groping-- well-- you know.
Her smile grew slightly darker as she saw him drop
the staff. "There's just one thing, DS-sama," she murmured
before looking up at him.
"Yyyyyes?" he asked, drawing the word out slowly.
She stepped back a few inches and said "Baka!" With
that she closed her eyes, and before DS could even think of
throwing up the HT field, Angie did her new Urd transformation,
splitting into five super-deformed versions of herself-- well
of Juri anyway.
"What the hell is THIS??!?" he asked, while being
dog-piled on by the Chibi-Juris. "You can't do an Urd
transformation! The Fanboys already have one!" He glanced
around. "Tena should be objecting to this! Where the hell is
she?!"
SuperKate spotted the ref on the side of the ring,
knee-deep in Sailor Moon plushies. Sana looked up and winked
at Kate, who winked back. DS groaned miserably at he stared
at the rugrat bouncing up on his chest. "Damn your toy fetish
Tena-chan!"
"But their just so kawaii!" she pouted to his Gothship.
"Toy-chans?!" squealed four of the five chibi-Juris as
they jumped off DarkSong and ran out of the ring to the plushie
pile.
"Get back here, you bakas!" shrieked the remaining
chibi-Juri on DS' chest. He sat up and glared at her. She
gave a nervous laugh. "Ah ha ha... couldn't we, um, talk
about this?" she asked, sprouting innocent kitty ears and a
tail.
"Oh, when I get done with you," he stated, reaching for
his staff, "I don't think you'll be doing much talking--"
"EEP!" she cried, trying to squirm out of his grip.
"What's that?" a voice rumbled, quaking the whole rooftop.
Everyone turned to DB, then looked where he had been
pointing. They took in the tiny figures at the dueling arena in
the distance.
Tena put on opera glasses and peered out. "Looks like
Scott-kun is battling his fanfic character for the Rose Bride."
She watched a bit longer and chuckled. "He's getting his ass
kicked, too."
One of the Chibi-Juri's snatched the opera glasses away
from Tena. "He sure is! Hey... wait a minute... he's fighting
Lita! And who's that person waving her arms?" The chibi-Juri
made a face. "Oh, it's just Seta-chan. Psycho-Pluto!"
"Hotcha!" called out two of the SD Angies as Tena picked
them up by the scruffs of their uniforms. One had the otaku's
Galaxia outfit, the other held a 'scarf' ready for use. Kate was
fighting off the 3rd one as it tried to -ahem- her! The fourth
cuddled in DB's lap-chan.
The one on DS' chest looked unhappily at the chaos. "This
is no good. If Scott-chan loses the duel, then Utena won't have
the Rose Bride. It'll screw up the whole series!"
DS nodded in agreement. "There's only one thing to do." He
motioned to Sana to grab the chibi-Juris. Kate held her's at arm
length as she brought it forward.
"Is that all of them?" he asked, holding the one from his
chest. He looked around, noting Tena using the still tied-up
Rei-kun for target practice.
"And now to get them all back together - and I know JUST
how to make that happen, too." DS said with an evil grin. Taking
his staff by one end, he snapped his fingers, and watched as it
shrank and drooped, turning into a black leather whip. He snapped
it once, with a resounding CRACK, and turned to look at the group
of chibi-Juri-Angies. "So, have we been a BAD ecchi-grrl, Angie?"
"Punishment-chan!"
"Punishment-chan!"
"Me first!"
"No, ME first, you baka!"
"Um..."
A dust cloud rose as the group of chibi-sex maniacs fought
over who was going to get to 'play' first.
DS cleared his throat loudly, and the dust settled to
reveal a pileup of little chibi-Juris in various states of dishevel
clothing and hair. "You've only been bad enough for ONE of you to
be disciplined, so you had best make up your mind who gets to enjoy
the special treatment." He cracked the whip once more, to drive
home his intention, and settled his hands on his hips to wait,
tapping a foot.
All five of them moaned "Not fair," (four wanted to be
punished solo, one didn't but will be included anyway now), and
then the same identical expression came on all their faces at once.
Grinning happily, they all closed their eyes and adopted looks of
intense concentration. With a sudden POP sound, the five merged
into one full-size Juri-Angie.
The now re-combined Angie shook her head dizzily. "Whoa,
what a rush! I know what it's like to grope that many people at
once now! So, I've been a good bad Ecchi-girl... do I get my
punishment-chan now?" she said, looking up at Touga-DS with puppy
eyes.
DarkSong stepped forward, and with a quick snap of the
whip, Angie found her wrists bound together in front of her. As
he stopped in front of her, and took her chin in a hand, she
closed her eyes with a sharp intake of breath and a little shiver.
"As much fun as this little encounter would be, and as much a
shame it is that we couldn't finish the duel Ecchi-grrl, it
looks like YOU have a job to do."
As he let go her chin and stepped away, the realization
of what she just hear hit. She snapped her eyes open. "DS?
Hime-chan? What the hell is going on?"
"What the hell are you doing?" she yelled, making frantic
motions with her arms. "Hime-chan stop him!"
"Sorry, Emporess-sama, but the fate of a series is at
stake here," SuperKate called out remorsefully as she caressed a
Neptune plushie.
"Bye Bye Onee-chan!" Sana waved happily, ignoring the
frying of her pimp in the background.
"CATCH!" DS called out to Scott hoping to get his
attention. Releasing her hands from the whip with a quick flick,
he gave Angie a look of pure mischief. "DILL BRAND!!" he shouted,
and the resulting explosion sent Angie sailing waaaay up into the
sky towards the two duelists.
DarkSong and SuperKate watched the commotion on the arena
platform until both the otaku disappeared. "There go the Toxic
Twins!" DS quipped, turning to Kate.
"Hai, and just in time! I still have to finish my
homework!" Her eyes looked a bit distant. "And a Mokona who
needs a workout... Mmm, Puu...." She gave His Gothship a short
curtsey before disappearing in another puff of illogic.
DS snapped his own fingers, leaving the target practice
and DB's snoring behind him. He appeared in Touga's room at the
Kiryu residence and rubbed his hands together. "Finally, free
to pursue my Utena-chan without interruption!"
He paused at a knock on the door. A head of golden curls
and watery blue eyes popped her head into the door. "Onii-sama,
I read the note you sent me."
Touga/DS' right eyebrow began to twitch. "Note?? What
note?"
"You know," she said, stepping into the room and shutting
the door behind her. Nanami removed her robe, revealing her
naked form to him. She grinned ferally then. "So will you show
me the true power of ecchilution?"
DS' eyes popped out of his head as she advanced on him.
His fingers kept snapping futilely, trying to whisk himself out
of the evil Nanami's clutches, but nothing worked. Backed into
a corner finally he let out a hiss as she sank him down into the
carpet.
"I'll survive this incest," he thought to himself in pure
rage. "When I do, I'm going to find Angie, and so help me..."
But that's a story for another time...
Angie: After all, he's writing Chapter 6, not THIS Outtake! ^_^v
================================================================
Author's Notes:
DS: Thank kami-sama this is FINALLY over with. If I had to look
at this much longer, I would have gone as noisily and messily
insane.
Angie: Stick a scarf in it, it's done-chan! (snickers) Just
like you, ne DS? ^^
Scott: (trying to figure out the logic of the whole thing, only
now also thumbing through the Author's Notes binder) But the
plotline, we had it all worked out! What do we do now?!
DS: (glares at Angie) Oh thank you for that oh so wonderful
moment with Nanami. All I've got to say is this: I'm writing
Chapter 6. Expect a payback. (grins evilly)
Scott: After everything I've been through, (puts away the
binder) and everything I'll be through, I'm not worried. ^_^
Angie: You're not writing it you baka, he is! Remember?
Scott: (blink)
Angie: And he's so much DARKER than I am at thinking up good
stuff to have happen to you, Scott-chan!
DS: (^_^)
Scott: (O_O)
****************************************************************
Questions? Comments? Arrows?
(thrawn27@hotmail.com, emporess88@hotmail.com, or
darksong@worldserpent.org)
Webpage: http://members.tripod.com/~Thrawn27/plutosatt.html
and http://www.geocities.com/emporess888/plutos.htm for charecter
profiles and other fun info.
Also see carnage.fanfic.org for Chaos' Curse Of The Fanboys!
Angie: Hi hi! It's your friendly neighborhood hentai,
Angie-chan. (though you worshippers may call me Emporess-sama
if you wish!) Today's Outtake is a bit stranger than usual.
(if that's even possible...) Although, as we all know, Fangirls
usually have their free reign in all fanfiction, we can still
be defeated. (Unless your facing Anarchy of course. 100%
Avatars are *not* to be trifled with!) (0.0) As much as it
pains me to admit, I too can be challenged by an evil
competitor at times. Low and behold, watch the poor Angie-chan
battle for her hard-earned ecchiness!
Andrea: (in her negligee from Outtake 3) Angie-chan, you can
do it! Don't let him stop you! Use the power of the Perv!
Angie: Hai! Nothing stops me! I just keep going, and going,
and going...
Scott: Don't you mean "coming and coming..."?
(Image of a Super-Deformed Angie-chan with sunglasses and
'scarves')
Angie: I think I would be a WAY cuter mascot then the Energizer
Bunny, ne?
Scott: (-_-) The world is doomed to think hentai...
Angie: (holds up her two fingers and flashes a V for Victory
sign) My ad campaign will be more popular then Budweiser's
and Microsoft's commercials combined. Viva la hentai! Bring
on the fanservice!
DS: (grumpily walking into the intro) Damnit, haven't you
quit with that Eva innuendo yet?
Angie: (still in her bunny outfit) You're one to talk.
(points at the Evangelions cluttering his desk)
Scott: (blink blink) Hey did you look in his drawers? He has
a picture of Asuka in here getting-- (o.O)
DS: (GROWL!) Ok that's it! No more Intros! And quit
molesting my Eva:01 Ecchi-grrl! It's fragile!
Angie: (fiddling with neat little toy) :P Hush your
Gothship, I know what I'm--
Snap
Angie: (sweatdrop) Aaa... Don't worry DS. I'm sure that arm
will go rrrrright back on there.
DS: (evil aura erupting) ....
Scott and Angie: Run away! Run away!
****************************************************************
Angie grinned as she listened to the Pluto's fading
rants. "Don't hold your breath." She turned away from the door,
heading back over to the bed, excitement taking hold again.
"Sorry about that ladies--" She stopped as her mouth gaped open
in shock.
All three of her bedroom companions were passed out. Not
one twitch, not one fluttering eyelash. Each one was spent with
totally blissed out looks on their faces. And the reason for this
was perched casually in the middle of them, hands folded behind
his head. "Hello Angie-chan! Miss me?"
"What the hell are you doing here?!"
****************************************************************
"When Plutos Attack!"
By Scott "Cyclops" Summerton, Emporess and his
Gothship, DarkSong
(thrawn27@hotmail.com, Empores88@hotmail.com,
darksong@worldserpent.org)
Chapter 4 Outtake: "Who Will Have The True Power To Bring About
Fanfic Ecchilution?"
****************************************************************
"That's a fine way to greet a friend," the occupant on the
bed smiled ruefully at her. "Here I make a special trip to check
on you, and this is the thanks I get?"
She continued to glare at him. "Check on me huh? Looks more
like you stole my girlies!" Angie/Juri pointed disdainfully at the
exhausted locals surrounding him. "They're useless to me now!"
He let out a long-suffering sigh as he threw his legs over
the side of the bed and stood. "It's not my fault you couldn't
entertain them properly. It would have been a crime to leave them
unfulfilled after all." Flipping his long red hair over his
shoulder he grinned wolfishly at her. "I'm fairly disappointed
in you, Ecchi-grrl. Why are you bothering with them when you
could play with Miki or Kozue... or both?"
"Been there, done them." She stated, sticking her tongue
out at him while walking closer. They both seemed unconcerned with
each others nakedness. "Not only did you ruin my chance with these
three, but you had to jump into my next one! I was really looking
forward to Touga too! I thought you were more the 'Saoinji' type."
"Aw, is Chibi-Angie upset?" The person inhabiting Touga
sneered while she pouted. "As if I'd really let you run through my
favorite series without me! Can't let you have all the fun!" His
expression turned thoughtful. "Which reminds me, where is my Utena?
I can't wait to play with her!"
Now it was her turn to laugh. "So sorry DS! Utena at the
moment is inhabited by Scott-chan. Unless you want to get personal
with him, I'd say you're out of luck!"
Touga's chiseled face turned stormy at that piece of
information. "Damn. Scott-kun would ruin all the good points in
my feisty girl." He shrugged. "Oh well, plenty of other babes in
this show. As long as I keep Wakaba and that damn Nanami away,
I'll be fine."
"How did you get here DS?! Me and Scott-chan are the only
ones with the Garnet!" she hissed. "Surely if you had the power
to jump into Utena, you would have done it a long time ago!"
DS shook his head at her outburst. "Too true. I would
have taken advantage of this before now. After you and Scott-kun
left, we all started looking for you. We knew if we found
ecchiness, chances were we'd find you."
"We?!" she screeched.
"Hai! Lise-chan worked out a little portal into your realm.
Me, her, Tena--" He paused seeing her eyebrow begin to twitch.
"What, you don't want the company?"
"Of course I don't! The last thing I need is a rival when
I'm trying to get my fan service." She growled, trying to intimidate
him with Juri's glacial stare.
He remained unaffected, chuckling amused at her. "You're not
my rival! You're just a pain in the ass!" Her infuriated expression
just made him chortle more. "Ne, you even look a little like Lina in
your normal form."
The eyebrow twitch turned into a full body tremor as her rage
increased. "I am NOT Lina Inverse! I am WAY better built then that
ironing board!" A deadly tone entered her voice. "This show isn't
big enough for the both of us. I suggest you vacate it till I've had
my fill."
"Ho ho! Is that a threat, Angie-chan?" From his superior
height he studied the younger woman, cupping her chin with one hand
and turned her head one way, then the other to admire her profile.
"I'd reconsider that if I were you. Crossing me could be painful,
little girl."
"LITTLE GIRL?!" She thundered back at him, slapping his
hand away. They both stared at each other a moment. 'We're too
much alike.' was their simultaneous thought.
"What does that make you, old and moldy?!" She forged
ahead, not giving him a chance to reply. "That does it. I've
had it with you! Only one of us is going to have nubile anime
babes in this fic, and that person is me!"
"If you insist on not being civil." He snapped his
fingers, the school uniform appearing on Touga's frame. "I'll
be waiting at the rooftop, Angie-chan." Evil giggles moved
through the room as he faded from view.
"Shimatta!" With a hiss she began searching for her
discarded clothes. "How in the hell does he do that anyway?"
After throwing on the proper attire she walked towards the door.
Her hand closed on the knob but paused there as the little hairs
on the back of her neck tingled, almost as if she was being
watched. Turning slowly to the window she faced a gigantic
yellow eyeball.
"KYAAAA!" the otaku in Juri shrieked, trying to become
one with the wall. Unfortunately the Ohtori Uniform did not
blend well with the wallpapering. The owner of the yellow eye
blinked and moved back from the window, letting her see more of
him. "DB-chan!"
The kawaii 80-ft dragon-beast flashed her a toothy grin,
revealing his fangs. A low chuckle erupted from his lips causing
vibrations across the school, wreaking havoc. (Though not
SUMMONING the fanboy Havoc. Had it, C-ko would not have to worry
about wearing too many panties EVER again!)
Angie in Juri hurried over to the window, throwing it
open. "Ohayo, Sayhaya. Need a lift?" Nodding happily, the
ecchi-grrl climbed onto the dragon's back. He flapped his wings
once, lifting them into the air.
It was a majestic sight, his wings spreading out to full
size. Angie snuggled into DB's back. "Now, THIS is the way to
travel. Ne, Db-chan, head over to that rooftop there, where
the student council meets." She pointed to a building in the
distance and began to chuckle. "I can't wait till DS sees your
on my side! HA! I will be the Ota-ecchi-Queen!"
Db headed to where she pointed. "Sayhaya, you know the
rules. No outside interference. I can't get in the middle of
your battle with DarkSong."
Angie pouted, a look almost alien to Juri's austere face.
"But Db-chan..."
"No buts," he said, silencing her. "I'm only here to
watch. "A match of Anything-Goes-Ecchi-fu is something I just
couldn't resist..."
At the same time an elevator began to climb up the
aforementioned building. Three shadowed silhouettes appeared as
Touga's voice began a monologue. "The world of anime if full of
gainax waiting to be groped."
The silhouette on the left wore what appeared to be a
dress and had a helmet shadow. The silhouette on the right leaned
against the side of the elevator nonchalantly, looking distinctly
like Touga. "If the ecchi-grrl is not stopped, she will have all
the nubile babes."
The last form seemed to be hanging from the ceiling,
swinging back and forth from the rafters. A chorus of voices
joined together as one. "Defeat the Ecchi-Queen! For the
Ecchilution of the world!"
With the last phrase the elevator doors swung open to the
roof where the student council met. There a woman in a familiar
gold dress sat toying with metal wristbands she was wearing. "So
you think you can beat her?" She casually pointed her hand at a
bull's-eye, ending a bright beam of energy to annihilate the
target.
"Do you doubt my power, Tena?" He asked arching an eyebrow.
He stopped and shook his head as she glared at him. "I'm sorry,
'Galaxia-sama'" he snickered at the glowering fangirl. "And of
course I can! I've seen the whole series, whereas Angie-san is
limited to Episode 25, where things just START to get interesting."
His smile was cruel. "She's screwed."
"I dunno," she began as she watched him make a few
impressive practice swipes with his sword. "We've seen evidence
of her ecchi-fu before." At that they both turned to the still
open doors of the elevator. A shirtless man with sunglasses held
to the top, legs dangling beneath him.
"Hotcha!" exclaimed the fanboy Reikun who now resembled
Rei-kun of Child's Toy.
DS and Tena both looked at each other and shook their heads.
"He's never been the same since 'Death Reborn Ecchilution.' Poor
Rei-kun."
The duelist remained unconcerned. "He proves my point. She
was aiming for me and missed. As long as I dodge that, I'm fine."
He glanced across the rooftop impatiently. "Where the hell is she,
anyway?"
As if on cue the giant flap of wings was heard.
DarkSong looked to the skies to see the giant reptilian
shape approaching. "Konnichi-wa, Dragonbeast-sama. It's good to
see you here, even if you do bear that troublesome little girl on
your back. I take it you're here to watch the festivities, ne?"
DB alighted more gently than an 80-foot dragon should have
had a right to, and extended a wing for Angie to slide down to the
balcony. As she landed, she reached into a hyperpocket and pulled
out the Silence Glaive, a sinister look twisting her features.
"You call me little girl one more time, and I'll blast you clear
into a Pokemon episode!" She shouted as she brandished her weapon
menacingly.
"Oh Angie, you're so cute when you're angry..." DS
remarked, an infuriating grin filling Touga's features.
"I'm always kawaii, especially when I'm-- STOP THAT!!!"
Angie shrieked. "We're here to have a duel to decide who'll get
to stay here and reap the benefits of all the nubile lovelies here.
The loser leaves upon conceding the duel. Fair enough?"
"I have no problem with it, ecchi-grrl. Just as long as
you're ready to lose gracefully." He smirked. "Oh, and be sure to
take Scott-kun with you. I want my Utena-chan back." He added.
"We'll see about that, OLD man." She snarled back.
"Oh, and you've got that canopener again, I see." He
sneered. "Why don't you learn to put that thing to a good use,
like helping Te--er, Galaxia-sama out of that outfit, and into
something more... comfortable."
Angie gritted her teeth, trying to keep her temper.
"Galaxia-sama, would you do us the honor of being the judge for
this duel?" She shifted her grip on the weapon as not to let her
opponent see her white knuckles to indicate he was getting to her.
"I'd be happy to judge this match. Are you ready, Angie?"
Tena asked.
"Hai! Let's rock!" Angie replied
"And are you ready, DS?"
"Well, since she insists on using THAT," DS said, pointing
to the canopener in question, "that makes this rather useless." He
tossed the sword he held in his hand over the ledge, where a couple
of seconds later a CLANG noise was heard, followed by a "chuuuuuu".
"No worries, he's an anime mascot - he's indestructible"
"Now, to summon a suitable weapon to make this a fair
fight." He held one hand, palm up, at waist level, and a globe of
blackness the size of a grapefruit coalesced, floating above his
palm.
DS grinned, and looked around him, at the expressions of
the others. "I learned this during that summer vacation I spent
with in the Guardian Realms with Tiara, the Shamanic Princess.
She taught me a coupla tricks, and I showed her a few as well."
He winked at the others. "HOTCHA!"
Angie snarled. "Any time now, or are you afraid?" A
snickering was heard from the others.
"No respect for betters - where is this world going to?"
DarkSong flipped up the hand the orb was hovering over, and
grasped it in a claw-like grip, squeezing it. He furrowed his
brow in concentration, and it lengthened into a metre-long bar of
blackness. He looked up Angie holding the Silence Glaive, and
said to himself "Bigger is better." With another convulsive
squeeze, it lengthened out to 2 metres, where he grasped it like
a stave and spun it around himself rapidly.
"NOW, I am ready, Galaxia-sama. We can begin on your
signal." He said, grinning and showing fangs not normally seen
on Touga.
Tena-in-Galaxia strode purposefully between the two Otaku
and held up a hand. "Then let us--"
Just then a loud squeal disrupted the group. A still half
naked Rei-kun was being dragged across the roof by a dust cloud.
The figure finally stopped and deposited him in the middle of the
crowd. "Nobody moves until I get an answer!" came the rather
perturbed prepubescent voice.
"Oneeii-chan!" yelled Angie, waving happily.
"Oh shit, just what I need." moaned DS.
Yes, much to His Gothship's horror, MerliWolf had made
the scene. Not as MerliWolf however, but as that delightful
bundle of energy from Kodomo no Omocha--
"Onee-chan!" cried out Sana-chan, star of Child's Toy,
before rushing over to hug her. Of course, Sana couldn't do
this and stand still so they ended up bouncing up and down.
And since the now ecchified Rei-kun was also in the cuddle with
them--
"Gainax! Hotcha!" He proclaimed before copping a feel
on Angie/Juri's more then ample cleavage.
"Iie, Rei-kun!" Sana-chan squealed, reaching an even
higher octave level. Letting go of Juri, she pulled Rei-kun
away and began pounding him into the concrete floor. "Iie,
that's not the way my Rei-kun is supposed to act! Iie, iie,
iie!"
"Make it stop!" DS hissed, covering his ears with his
hands.
Sana got all bambi-eyed as she pulled Rei-kun sporting
a band-aid over to DS. "But look at him! Sana can't stand seeing
Rei-kun act like this! Like Hamaya! It's not right! It's not
natural! It's not-- not--"
DS took out Mama's Baka Hammer and pummeled the Otaku
over the head with it. Looking satisfyingly at the crater he had
created, he shook his head. "Why in the world any guy would want
to be that hyperactive little menace is--"
With that the ground underneath him erupted as Sana-chan
toppled the dark-Otaku to the ground. She/he made a V for
Victory sign. "Daijobu, Sana-chan is fine!"
"Like anyone cares..." mumbled DS from his position on
the ground. He tore at the silly bandaid that sprang up on the
side of his head and met his arch-nemesis' laughter.
"Troubles?" she snickered. "How can you expect to defeat
me when you can't even handle Oneeii-chan?"
"I can deal with Merli just fine--" He paused in
mid-sentence and gave her a look of disbelief. "What the hell
did you just call him?"
"Oneeii-chan!" Angie replied happily. "Brother/sister
all in one!"
By this time, Sana-chan had began to protest ever louder
about Rei-kun's state. Tena, having had all she could take, put
a comforting hand around the prepubescent. "Merli, I have a job
for you."
"Mmm?" asked Sana, giving a few more dramatic sniffles.
"What if we let you do the play-by-play for the fight?"
Seeing Sana's hesitation, she quickly added. "You get a
microphone..."
The tears on the little otaku immediately vanished.
Before anyone knew quite what was happening, Merli-in-Sana had
set up a boxing ring, complete with stools for the two contenders
to sit on. Somehow she also produced a table in front, for
herself. "Sana-chan is SO happy to be here today, announcing the
most honorable battle of Ecchi-Fu with her two Co-Anchors, ne
Rei-kun?" She turned to the tied up object of her affections.
"HOTCHA!" (actually it was more like "GMOTGAS!" thanks
to the gag...)
"What about you, DB-chan?" she asked, looking far down
the table where the 80 foot long dragon was seat-- urm, sprawled.
"Keep me out of this." He murmured with enough force to
vibrate the entire roof.
"Ohhhhhh-k," she stuttered till the table quit moving.
Without warning she jumped into the ring and took the mic that
was hanging down. "In the first corner, the Otaku presently
in Juri, the destroyer of Pluto's psyches, the groper of bosoms,
able to stick her 'scarves' everywhere, Onee-chan!"
Angie went to the center of the ring and blew a kiss at
DB, showing off the robe she now had looped around her shoulders.
On the back, written in glittering kanji, was the title
'Ota-Ecchi-Queen.' A fake applause track could be heard in the
background.
"And in this corner, the Otaku presently in Touga, the
Dark Lord of the Perv, notorious for fics like 'La Blue Sakura';
'Ohtori Security Agency'; 'Legend of the Cutiefiend'; and--"
"Tena-chan and the Space Octopus!" called out Tena
happily.
"I told you Tena, there's no WAY I'm writing that!" DS
thundered back.
"Can Sana-chan finish?!" Sana hissed, silencing them
both. "As Sana-chan was saying, His Royal Gothship, DS!"
DS walked to the middle, his own black robe showing the
kanji for 'Ota-Ecchi-King.' He heard the mechanical soundtrack
of boos and hissing and shrugged it off.
Tena-chan stepped to the middle of the ring, looking
fairly ridiculous with a referee's shirt over her Galaxia
costume. "I want a good, clean match. No hits below the belt,
no satellite strikes, no ecchilutions, and no--" She glanced at
DS. "Well, you know you can't use THAT attack in this series."
DS pouted for an instant. "Oh, c'mon though, it's *so*
cool--"
"Nuh-uh," she said, shaking her golden helmet. "You can
not destroy our favorite series in a gratuitous smiting
sequence."
"Hmph," he muttered. Advancing to the middle of the ring
he waved the super long staff around in an arc and trained it on
Angie. "Show me what ya got!"
But before the girl could continue the narrator had to
pause to collect her thoughts since she had never SEEN Shamanic
Princess, and had no idea what would happen if she attacked his
Gothship, who wasn't responding to her in IRC chat.
Ahem, ok, so I'm admitting weakness as the author
here... So sue me P.
Scott: Talking to the audience directly is another cop off of
Chao--
Angie: (hitting Scott with the computer mouse like a bola) You
mean the author-who-cannot-be-mentioned don't you?
Scott: (blink) Exactly, stealing stuff from Chaos is wro--
Angie: (smacking the dub boy with her keyboard) You just go back
to writing Chapter 5, k? I'll steal as I please for my part P
Scott: Writing, we're actually in the fic, not writing it...
but there HAS to be writers if we're characters in a fic... so
that means WE are the authors, but we're trapped in the fic...
Wait a second, how can I even be here, I'm supposed to be in
Utena wandering around the school right now... @_@
DS: (ignoring Scott's descent into insanity) The
"author-who-cannot-be-mentioned" ? Who's that - Oscar? *cringes
as the two turn to glare at him* JOKE!!! It's a JOKE! Quit
throwing stuff at me - OW! Damnit! You know he's right tho,
Angie. OW! Get back to the story - it'll hurt less. :|
Now where were we? Oh yea, Otaku Deathmatch. ^_^v Cool!
Pressing the Glaive forward, she moved on towards DS.
Metal hit metal with a clang. DS' superior Touga height gave him
a bit of an advantage. "You know ecchi-grrl, your not entirely
unappealing in Juri." He thrust forward, lodging the staff just
under her neck. "After I defeat you, perhaps we can adjourn to a
more private location where you can congratulate me-- properly."
"Might," she grunted, unable to dislodge the big stick.
The idea of losing to DS, and this early in the fight disgusted
her. Twisting the handle of her Glaive around, she pried the
staff away from her neck, somersaulting backwards out of
Touga/DS' reach.
"Admirable move, Ecchi-grrl, but I think you broke your
can opener." He chuckled and pointed to the two halves of the
once intact weapon.
"My glaive-chan!" Angie called out forlornly, hugging
the dismembered pieces to her chest. She opened her Ecchi-space
pocket, tucking them in for re-assembling later. Her eyes
focused on the snide smile of her opponent. "That's it, no more
Miss Nice Fangirl."
She reached down the front of Juri's uniform to pull out
what resembled a Senshi communicator. Pressing the button, she
paused and stared out at DarkSong evilly. "They'll be here in
a moment."
"Who?" he asked warily.
"You'll see..." she murmured.
Her Ladyship Readwolf walked the halls of the convention
center, her glee written all over her face. So far, she had
managed to pick up nearly everyone on her list. The only one
she was missing was--
"Quatre-kun!" she waved happily, when spotting his
cherub form signing autographs. Advancing through the crowd,
she grabbed the resistant pilot and pulled him away. "I'm so
happy to find you! The others are waiting!"
"Others?" he asked, trying to keep his arm attached to
his shoulder as she tugged him away. "What do you mean by
'others'??"
She gave him a wink. "Oh, come on now, surely you've
heard of the Yaoi harem I've cooked up! I sent invitations out
to all of you."
Aware of her intentions, he tried to pull back, unable
to escape her grip. "Y-y-yaoi--" he stuttered.
"Don't play dumb with me! Everyone knows about you
pilots!" She overrode his objections with a wave of her hand.
"This Mecha2000 con was the perfect place to round you all up."
"You got them all?" he asked in denial.
"Well, Heero put up a bit of a scuffle," she huffed.
"Seems he has a 'mission' or something to complete. But with
Duo and Zechs there to 'persuade' him..."
"B-but I-- I mean I'm not--" he protested weakly.
Andrea's reply was cut off by a beeping at her waist.
Glancing down she checked the number of her Ecchi-cater.
"Angie-chan is dueling again. What a time to be calling me."
She paused, undecided on how to handle the situation. On one
hand she was so close to completing her collection. On the
other she had her obligation as a Fangirl to consider.
Stuck in this reverie, she didn't notice Quatre sneak
out of her grip. Not until she went to squeeze his hand, and
noticed how different it felt. Sort of slippery. Kind of
like a-- fin?!
Clutched to her hand was not the 14 year old wet dream,
but a penguin. EVA's mascot focused its beady eyes on her.
"SQUAWK!"
"Damnit! I *knew* I should have brought Trowa with me
for this! I'll have my inverse rule #3 yet!" She swiftly
punted Pen Pen out of the way and looked for the blonde-haired
pilot. Angie was just going to have to wait...
Somewhere in the suburbs of Chicago, Sailor Moon fanfic
author Kate B. was busy doodling in her notebook. The picture
she was working on had the body of a Pokemon. The face
resembled that of a young man the author's age, and was wearing
a mask and cape. She penciled in the words "Tuxedo Bri-achu" to
complete the drawing with a satisfied smile. Just then she
noticed the beeping noise.
"Jo'o-sama is in trouble!" she cried out purposefully.
Jumping from her bed into the closet, she emerged seconds later
complete in a satin teddy with a cape. She turned to the orange
and white cat curled up on the floor. "Watch the fort Orb, I'm
off to help the cause of ecchi!"
The cat opened one eye carefully. "Just be sure not to
bring back anymore recruits for the Beastiality Corps. You
remember what happened last time."
The chibi-otaku rolled her eyes. "It's not like Trowa's
lion actually DIGESTED you. He spit you out after a few bites!"
Not allowing the cat a chance to retort, she disappeared in a
puff of illogic.
Angie had held off DS so far by throwing a barrage of
'scarves' at his direction. Now the vibrating contraptions were
batted away by his HT field, causing no damage, but they did
keep him busy. "You are SUCH a copy cat." She scolded him,
watching the last of them bounce away.
"What do you mean?" He asked arching an eyebrow. He
gestured to the shield he had thrown around himself. "I've
ALWAYS used a Hentai Terror field. Besides, you're the one who
started this series to begin with, so technically, you're the
thief. I'm simply trying to consolidate my claim as the most
ecchi."
Purple light cut off her reply. In the center of the
arena appeared SuperKate, upside down and floating in the air.
"I'm here, Emporess-sama!" She tried to push the cape out of
her face so she could take in her mentor.
"Hime-chan, get down from there!" Angie pulled her
over to her corner, causing the Otaku to discover gravity
and fall to the floor. "This is a serious fight and I need
your help!"
"I'm on it, your majesty!" She murmured, trying to
get the stars that had appeared out of her vision. "How can
I help?"
The Ecchi-grrl pointed to His Gothship, currently
reclining in his corner and getting a rub down from Shiori.
You see him, Hime-chan? That is our mortal enemy in all
things ecchi."
SuperKate gasped. "DarkSong?!"
Angie nodded. "We have the chance to stop him in
his tracks once and for all!"
"Alright! I've been waiting a long time to smite
something!" SuperKate stated, making a fist and pumping it
in the air. "I'm finally gonna put my troops to good use."
Angie made a face and shook her head. "Not a
chance! There is NO way I'm going to win a battle using
your Beastiality Corps!" she shuddered. "Besides, I told
you to disband those!"
The chibi-otaku crossed her arms over her chest and
pouted. "But they're so cute! I've got all the Pokemon,
P-chan from Ranma, cat girl Nuku-Nuke, and... Mokona..."
her eyes got dreamy as she began to murmur, "Puuu...
Puuuuuuuu..."
Juri's body took on some disgusted spasms. "If I
ever find where you keep those, I'm bringing Rampage to a
feast. Did you bring that bag I told you to keep for me?"
"Hai!" SuperKate reached down her teddy and began
pulling out different objects. "Let's see, copy of National
Ecchi-graphic, collar, Pikachu, Relena fanclub card... Hey!
I found my Ecchi-O's! Did you eat breakfast yet Jo'o-sama?"
"Never mind that!" her mentor roared.
"Are you sure? They're chockfull of lemon
freshness!" SuperKate asked, waving the box in her hands.
"I'll take some Hime-chan!" DS called out to her.
"Coming at ya," she said, tossing him a bowl.
"Don't forget, they're extra creamy in milk!" She dug
deeper down her cleavage, until locating the black leather
bag.
"Heya toots!" DS leered, looking up from his
Ecchi-O's. "What else you got down there? Can I see? Hotcha!"
SuperKate shook her head, laughing to herself and opening the
bag, she took out the contents, a lone binder with red lettering.
"When Plutos Attack! author notes..." she read, gasping. "Am I
even allowed to be looking at these?"
"Hai, hai, they're Scott's notes, not mine." She gave
the girl a V-sign. "He thinks we have a semblance of 'plot'
going on. Baka." She gestured for the girl to open it up.
"You've gotta find an attack in there that I can use against His
Gothship."
SuperKate started leafing through the clutter of notes.
"Mmmm, did you try the ecchilution yet?"
Angie shook her head and pointed at Rei-kun, who was
hopping after Tena, trying to get the Galaxia suit off of her.
"No good. Besides, the glaive got split. What else do ya got."
"Welllll..." she trailed off, reading a line for an
upcoming scene. "Scott's going to be pregnant in WHO?!" she
cried out.
Angie sighed. "We cut that chapter, since we don't know
Sean. Keep looking!" She watched Sana and DS, who had been
revitalized by the Ecchi-O's, start to karaoke to the song Junk
Boy. (Can't touch you, Junky Junk Boy! ^^).
"Wait, here's something," she cried, pointing at the
scribbles. "Since you cut the Gaffney chapter with Scott as a
pregnant Hotaru and you doing some weird stuff with pudding and
a crown (o_O) you told DS he could write Chapter 6."
"We did?!" Angie squealed, looking into the notebook.
"Great, I can just imagine what evil he's going to put us
through..."
"Most of it seems to be secret even from Scott..." Kate
stated. "But, DS had to tell Scott to add something to Chapter
5 to foreshadow 6, so you can use that against him now!"
Juri/Angie blinked at SuperKate. "I don't think you
made ONE bit of sense. What is it?!"
SuperKate leaned over to whisper in Angie's ear.
Juri's eyes grew wide with delight. She stood up straighter
and gave the Hime-chan a little grope. "Good job, Hime-chan!
Remind me to Treat you later!"
She advanced purposefully to DS, who handed Sana back
his/her mic. "Are you finally ready to admit defeat,
Ecchi-grrl?"
"Not quite." she purred, adding a little wiggle to
her steps. Stopping just in front of him, she ran a hand
down the front of her uniform, unbuttoning one at a time.
"You know, even I have to admire the way you've mastered the
power of the Perv."
"Really?" he asked, watching the uniform jacket slip
off her shoulders. His grip on his big-ass-staff (no, not
that one, you hentais! :P) lessened as he let his guard down.
"In fact," she whispered, "I just realized how silly
it is for us to be fighting. Imagine what we could do if we
worked together!"
"Perhaps we should-- consummate--" he grinned
lustfully at her, "our relationship." He put the two meter
long stick aside, seeing no reason to hold the weapon when he
could be groping-- well-- you know.
Her smile grew slightly darker as she saw him drop
the staff. "There's just one thing, DS-sama," she murmured
before looking up at him.
"Yyyyyes?" he asked, drawing the word out slowly.
She stepped back a few inches and said "Baka!" With
that she closed her eyes, and before DS could even think of
throwing up the HT field, Angie did her new Urd transformation,
splitting into five super-deformed versions of herself-- well
of Juri anyway.
"What the hell is THIS??!?" he asked, while being
dog-piled on by the Chibi-Juris. "You can't do an Urd
transformation! The Fanboys already have one!" He glanced
around. "Tena should be objecting to this! Where the hell is
she?!"
SuperKate spotted the ref on the side of the ring,
knee-deep in Sailor Moon plushies. Sana looked up and winked
at Kate, who winked back. DS groaned miserably at he stared
at the rugrat bouncing up on his chest. "Damn your toy fetish
Tena-chan!"
"But their just so kawaii!" she pouted to his Gothship.
"Toy-chans?!" squealed four of the five chibi-Juris as
they jumped off DarkSong and ran out of the ring to the plushie
pile.
"Get back here, you bakas!" shrieked the remaining
chibi-Juri on DS' chest. He sat up and glared at her. She
gave a nervous laugh. "Ah ha ha... couldn't we, um, talk
about this?" she asked, sprouting innocent kitty ears and a
tail.
"Oh, when I get done with you," he stated, reaching for
his staff, "I don't think you'll be doing much talking--"
"EEP!" she cried, trying to squirm out of his grip.
"What's that?" a voice rumbled, quaking the whole rooftop.
Everyone turned to DB, then looked where he had been
pointing. They took in the tiny figures at the dueling arena in
the distance.
Tena put on opera glasses and peered out. "Looks like
Scott-kun is battling his fanfic character for the Rose Bride."
She watched a bit longer and chuckled. "He's getting his ass
kicked, too."
One of the Chibi-Juri's snatched the opera glasses away
from Tena. "He sure is! Hey... wait a minute... he's fighting
Lita! And who's that person waving her arms?" The chibi-Juri
made a face. "Oh, it's just Seta-chan. Psycho-Pluto!"
"Hotcha!" called out two of the SD Angies as Tena picked
them up by the scruffs of their uniforms. One had the otaku's
Galaxia outfit, the other held a 'scarf' ready for use. Kate was
fighting off the 3rd one as it tried to -ahem- her! The fourth
cuddled in DB's lap-chan.
The one on DS' chest looked unhappily at the chaos. "This
is no good. If Scott-chan loses the duel, then Utena won't have
the Rose Bride. It'll screw up the whole series!"
DS nodded in agreement. "There's only one thing to do." He
motioned to Sana to grab the chibi-Juris. Kate held her's at arm
length as she brought it forward.
"Is that all of them?" he asked, holding the one from his
chest. He looked around, noting Tena using the still tied-up
Rei-kun for target practice.
"And now to get them all back together - and I know JUST
how to make that happen, too." DS said with an evil grin. Taking
his staff by one end, he snapped his fingers, and watched as it
shrank and drooped, turning into a black leather whip. He snapped
it once, with a resounding CRACK, and turned to look at the group
of chibi-Juri-Angies. "So, have we been a BAD ecchi-grrl, Angie?"
"Punishment-chan!"
"Punishment-chan!"
"Me first!"
"No, ME first, you baka!"
"Um..."
A dust cloud rose as the group of chibi-sex maniacs fought
over who was going to get to 'play' first.
DS cleared his throat loudly, and the dust settled to
reveal a pileup of little chibi-Juris in various states of dishevel
clothing and hair. "You've only been bad enough for ONE of you to
be disciplined, so you had best make up your mind who gets to enjoy
the special treatment." He cracked the whip once more, to drive
home his intention, and settled his hands on his hips to wait,
tapping a foot.
All five of them moaned "Not fair," (four wanted to be
punished solo, one didn't but will be included anyway now), and
then the same identical expression came on all their faces at once.
Grinning happily, they all closed their eyes and adopted looks of
intense concentration. With a sudden POP sound, the five merged
into one full-size Juri-Angie.
The now re-combined Angie shook her head dizzily. "Whoa,
what a rush! I know what it's like to grope that many people at
once now! So, I've been a good bad Ecchi-girl... do I get my
punishment-chan now?" she said, looking up at Touga-DS with puppy
eyes.
DarkSong stepped forward, and with a quick snap of the
whip, Angie found her wrists bound together in front of her. As
he stopped in front of her, and took her chin in a hand, she
closed her eyes with a sharp intake of breath and a little shiver.
"As much fun as this little encounter would be, and as much a
shame it is that we couldn't finish the duel Ecchi-grrl, it
looks like YOU have a job to do."
As he let go her chin and stepped away, the realization
of what she just hear hit. She snapped her eyes open. "DS?
Hime-chan? What the hell is going on?"
"What the hell are you doing?" she yelled, making frantic
motions with her arms. "Hime-chan stop him!"
"Sorry, Emporess-sama, but the fate of a series is at
stake here," SuperKate called out remorsefully as she caressed a
Neptune plushie.
"Bye Bye Onee-chan!" Sana waved happily, ignoring the
frying of her pimp in the background.
"CATCH!" DS called out to Scott hoping to get his
attention. Releasing her hands from the whip with a quick flick,
he gave Angie a look of pure mischief. "DILL BRAND!!" he shouted,
and the resulting explosion sent Angie sailing waaaay up into the
sky towards the two duelists.
DarkSong and SuperKate watched the commotion on the arena
platform until both the otaku disappeared. "There go the Toxic
Twins!" DS quipped, turning to Kate.
"Hai, and just in time! I still have to finish my
homework!" Her eyes looked a bit distant. "And a Mokona who
needs a workout... Mmm, Puu...." She gave His Gothship a short
curtsey before disappearing in another puff of illogic.
DS snapped his own fingers, leaving the target practice
and DB's snoring behind him. He appeared in Touga's room at the
Kiryu residence and rubbed his hands together. "Finally, free
to pursue my Utena-chan without interruption!"
He paused at a knock on the door. A head of golden curls
and watery blue eyes popped her head into the door. "Onii-sama,
I read the note you sent me."
Touga/DS' right eyebrow began to twitch. "Note?? What
note?"
"You know," she said, stepping into the room and shutting
the door behind her. Nanami removed her robe, revealing her
naked form to him. She grinned ferally then. "So will you show
me the true power of ecchilution?"
DS' eyes popped out of his head as she advanced on him.
His fingers kept snapping futilely, trying to whisk himself out
of the evil Nanami's clutches, but nothing worked. Backed into
a corner finally he let out a hiss as she sank him down into the
carpet.
"I'll survive this incest," he thought to himself in pure
rage. "When I do, I'm going to find Angie, and so help me..."
But that's a story for another time...
Angie: After all, he's writing Chapter 6, not THIS Outtake! ^_^v
================================================================
Author's Notes:
DS: Thank kami-sama this is FINALLY over with. If I had to look
at this much longer, I would have gone as noisily and messily
insane.
Angie: Stick a scarf in it, it's done-chan! (snickers) Just
like you, ne DS? ^^
Scott: (trying to figure out the logic of the whole thing, only
now also thumbing through the Author's Notes binder) But the
plotline, we had it all worked out! What do we do now?!
DS: (glares at Angie) Oh thank you for that oh so wonderful
moment with Nanami. All I've got to say is this: I'm writing
Chapter 6. Expect a payback. (grins evilly)
Scott: After everything I've been through, (puts away the
binder) and everything I'll be through, I'm not worried. ^_^
Angie: You're not writing it you baka, he is! Remember?
Scott: (blink)
Angie: And he's so much DARKER than I am at thinking up good
stuff to have happen to you, Scott-chan!
DS: (^_^)
Scott: (O_O)
****************************************************************
Questions? Comments? Arrows?
(thrawn27@hotmail.com, emporess88@hotmail.com, or
darksong@worldserpent.org)
Webpage: http://members.tripod.com/~Thrawn27/plutosatt.html
and http://www.geocities.com/emporess888/plutos.htm for charecter
profiles and other fun info.
Also see carnage.fanfic.org for Chaos' Curse Of The Fanboys!