Disclaimer: I don't own SW. I'm just playing with the characters. I'll return everyone relatively unharmed.

Spoilers: JA books.

Archive: If you really want it, you can have it. Just tell me where it's going.

Timeframe: After JA #8, before #9

Author's Note: Thank you to young_padfoot and wild horse, who kept giving me ideas, even if they didn't realize it. Ivy, I even managed to work a little angst in here for you! Please review. If you want to see the list without my story added in, it's by youngpadfoot, so just look her up. I don't know the exact title.

The List

Prologue

Obi-Wan had found it while on some backwater world negotiations about which treehouses were whose, or so it had seemed to him. When he read it, it had immediately reminded him of a friend he'd known as an Initiate. And now that Qui-Gon Jinn, The great Jedi Master who didn't give a darn about his apprentice, was off on some boring diplomatic mission that an apprentice would just be in the way on, he took it out again.

Maybe it was because he was lonely. Maybe it was because Master Telamin was old and stuffy and didn't care about Obi-Wan in the least. As he began to read it, an idea made its way into his mind. What if he did some of the things on the list? He quickly scanned through the first page and downloaded it onto his main datapad. It read:

Ways to Cause Chaos in Class.

Bring in a stuffed animal/action figure that makes noise and press it continuously. Pretend to misunderstand the teacher's directions and use permanent marker on the nice, new, shiny graphing board. Unscrew all the screws in desks, chairs, overheads, etc. To where they just barely stay in. Sit back and watch the show. Insist on being called by your insane nickname/penname. Pick two phrases and only use these when asked to speak. (ex. I want one of those! And Somebody needs a hug...). Annoy your teacher by criticizing their taste in clothes. 'Conveniently' press the office intercom button when your teacher is on a rampage. Replace your teacher's overhead notes with one that sport rude drawings/sayings. Have your Latin/other foreign language teacher translate 'Beware of the fluffy bunny rabbit' and so on.

10) Pretend to be terrified of a common object like rulers, chalk, shoes, etc.

11,) Get some friends in on it and insist on reenacting a scene from a book.

12.) Continuously ask your science teacher questions like, "Why do planets rotate on their axis?" or "why did the Big Bang occur?" and so on.

13.) Insist that evil squirrels and skittles are threatening to take over the school and the teachers must be sacrificed to meet their demands.

14.)Insist that one or more of your relatives is a deranged killer and that this individual is coming to pick you up from school today.

Hmmm... Well, he could always use one of his holovid soundtracks instead of an action figure, whatever that was. And the Calculus teacher had just gotten a new graph board. Unscrewing all the screws in desks and the like would be easy; it was just a matter of timing. Being called an insane nickname or penname was harder. The only nickname he'd ever had was 'Oafy-Wan' and he definitely didn't want to be called that. He'd save that one for later.

Picking two phrases was easy... it would just be a matter of choosing. He liked 'We all live in a yellow submarine' and 'It's a wonderful day in the neighborhood' best. Criticizing the teachers' clothes would be hard- everyone at the Temple wore the same cream-colored tunic and leggings with a nondescript robe. Maybe he'd just scratch that one. Pushing the office intercom button? Maybe that meant the Council. The only teacher Obi-Wan knew who got angry was his Jedi History teacher, Master Kuli.

Replacing overhead notes? What were overheads? Maybe that was a holoprojector. Replacing holoprojector notes would be easy. Having his Corubian teacher translate those sentences would also be easy. Well, asking would, anyway. Being terrified of a common object... lightsabers would be very good. Reenacting scenes would be hard... none of his friends were on-planet. Not that they would be willing to do something that might get them into trouble.

Asking his Physics teacher questions would just make master T'Khatu patiently explain everything in his tired, ancient voice. Unless, of course, he asked painfully obvious questions. Evil squirrels? Skittles? What were those? Obi-Wan decided that it didn't matter; things might work better if no one knew what he was talking about. His relative a deranged killer? Well, Master Telamin was certainly weird. And he did insist on picking Obi-Wan up from classes, even though Obi-Wan's quarters weren't very far from his last class.