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A/N: Sorry I've taken so long to get this up. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Honora, the pink will get you. And Sextus is NOT dead still. And the squirrel is for you. Feel very, very special. Thanks to Wildhorse and Ivy, who actually bother to wade through these on a regular basis! And Megan, if you really want to type, it's all yours. Please Review! The number of reviews is directly proportional to the output of the author (me!).
The List
Day Four
Physics class was boring. They were studying light. Obi-Wan didn't like the idea that the model of light they were using wasn't particularly accurate. Master T'Khatu had admitted this at the beginning of the lesson. At the moment the aged Master was droning on about some aspect of light's properties.
Obi-Wan raised his hand. "If everyone knows that this model is inaccurate, why don't they fix it?" Master T'Khatu sighed. "It is not that simple, Obi-Wan. Scientists have been trying for years." The Jedi Master spoke as if he were explaining things to a small child.
Obi-Wan raised his hand again a few minutes later. "Why does light reflect off things?" His response was, "That is one of the properties of light." Master T'Khatu sounded irritated now.
By the time Obi-Wan had asked why water refracted light, why rainbows bent, why light didn't reflect off of Coruscant's atmosphere, how light could travel through space, why light went so fast, why suns emitted light, and why there were different kinds of light, class was almost finished. So was Master T'khatu's patience.
When Obi-Wan asked one more question at the end of class, the Master lost it. He told Obi-Wan that if he was so interested in light, he could write a nice, long report about it. He also promised to send word to Qui-Gon's computer terminal. Obi-Wan was very satisfied with himself.
Obi-wan knew he was walking into a mess of trouble. He had brought a small squirrel that had been racing around in the Gardens. It was carefully caged in a small box.
When Jedi Philosophy got boring, Obi-wan let the squirrel out. It raced around the room a few times, knocking datapads, biting people, and generally causing chaos. Then the animal came back to Obi-Wan. The apprentice used the Force to convince the small animal to crawl onto his shoulder and chitter into his ear. Then the squirrel went back to racing around the room.
Obi-Wan jumped out of his chair and pretended to be serious. "He says that the evil squirrels and evil skittles are going to take over the Temple unless we meet their demands!" Master Azuli looked very, very mad. "And just what would those demands be, Obi-Wan?" The Master's tone was icy.
"They say that we need to sacrifice the teachers to Squirrly, the squirrel god." Obi-Wan couldn't help but smile now. Master Azuli made him sit in the corner until class was over. He was very angry about the incident. The fact that Obi-Wan made sure to point out that 'anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering.' All in all, Obi-Wan was lucky to escape with his life. However, Master Azuli had given him a nice, long, evil assignment to go with his evil squirrels and evil skittles. Obi-Wan didn't care.
As Literature wore on, Obi-Wan started to look more and more nervous. Finally, just as the bell rang and Master Shaedenn gave out the homework, Obi-Wan pretended to have a nervous breakdown. As the rest of the class filed out the door, Obi-Wan grabbed onto Master Shaedenn and almost shouted, "Master Telamin is a deranged killer! I looked it up in his record!" Obi-Wan took a deep breath, looked around nervously, and said in a voice barely above a whisper, "And he's coming to get me!" Master Shaedenn gave him a strange look, then tried to peel the apprentice off, unsuccessfully. "Leech-boy Obi-Wan, I'm sure that Master Telamin has no intention of harming you. Besides, he didn't do anything really wrong; those deaths were just accidents." Obi-wan didn't see the smile on the Master's face as he spoke.
Master Shaedenn had almost succeeded in prying off Obi-Wan when Master Telamin arrived. Obi-Wan screamed (like a girl, of course) and reattached himself completely to the Literature teacher, who almost toppled over under the apprentice's weight. It took a very long time before they made it to the Healers' Ward, as Master Shaedenn was having balance problems because of his newfound parasite. When the Healers once again certified Obi-Wan as mentally sane, Obi-Wan got another large Literature assignment to "keep him from using excess time to devise a means of disrupting classes." But on his way out of the Healers' Ward, Obi-Wan noticed that Master Shaedenn was keeping his distance from Telamin while watching the other master very closely.
Qui-Gon was looking forward to some nice, quiet time at home. His mission had been very vexing and he was in a bad mood. The Jedi was glad he hadn't brought his Padawan along; he was positive that he would have throttled the boy within the first day. If not sooner. Qui-Gon stepped into their apartment and saw that the message console was blinking. He dropped his bag on the sofa and went to see what he'd received. It might have been something important. One never knew what plot to rule the universe Obi-Wan could have gotten into while he was gone.
Qui-Gon was not the least little bit happy when he saw the messages. They all seemed to relate to Obi-Wan's behavior of late. And none of them were good. Qui-Gon decided that Obi-Wan was very lucky that he had arrived after Obi-Wan's first class. Qui-Gon would have many hours to cool down.
Many hours weren't enough. When Obi-Wan came home, Qui-Gon was still pissed. After much yelling on Qui-Gon's part and some half-hearted apologetic "yes, Master"s from Obi-Wan, it was over. In the end, Obi-Wan was banned from the message console, the holovid set, and the computer terminal. He also had to write apologies to all his teachers and to the classes because of his time-wasting. And he got many, many extra lessons to keep him busy. Worst of all, Qui-Gon was leaving him behind again for another mission. Oh well. There was always next month. That would probably be how long it took him to finish all of his new assignments.
A/N: Finally! Maybe it's time to start working on a non-humor story for once! Anybody want a sequel, though?