Disclaimer: I don't own any of the songs, except for Forbidden Emotions, and Moonlight Dreams. The rest belong to their respective artists! Luve ya guys!!!
Wild Child-Enya
Brothers In Arms-Joan Boaz
Adios-Enya
Lazy Day-Enya
Hunter-Dido
Break Away-Big Pig
It's A Sin-Pet Shop Boys
Silence Must Be Heard-Enigma
There Was A Boy-Micheal W. Smith
Kryptonite-Three Doors Down
Matter Of Time-Micheal W. Smith
Don't Give Up-Micheal W. Smith
May It Be-Enya
In Dreams-Edward Ross
Moonlight Dream-Anatalia
Forbidden Emotions-Anatalia
A Song To Sing
Four Years Later
The sunlight streaming from two open doors caught my attention and drew me from the hazy dream I had been having. A dream that had haunted me for days, it was always the same. I was back in Devor's dive, singing, but instead of the songs I knew I had sung there, different words always came out. Strange words, I couldn't quite make them out. They were in another language, a language that drew me in ever time I heard it. I sat up in my bed and pushed the blankets aside. The sun was just rising, awakening the gardens outside my door. I pulled on a robe and stalked the lush grass of the lawn. Thinking, absorbing the sunlight. It had been over four years since Fett had brought me here. It was my sanctuary, owned by a dear old friend named Peter. He enjoyed having me around, and loved it when I sang. Which wasn't very often any more. Fett came and went, but when he was here..something about him changed. He actually seemed to relax, which was amazing considering who he was. The lush grass tickled my feet and then gave way to my stride. I had found my strength again, and was slowly gaining back what I had lost to the underworld. I hummed a nameless tune as I walked, finding strength in the tune. The dawn was gone and the sun was climbing high when I paused my walk. I brushed a pale blue flower and smiled at the fragrance that flowed from it.
"Roanoke?" I looked up and met Peter's dark gray eyes with a smile.
"Good morning, Peter."
"I trust you slept well, Roanoke?"
"Peter, I keep having this dream-"
"I know, you often speak of it when your asleep."
"I do?"
"Oh, yes, last night was the worst though, so I spent most of the night translating those words that bother you so." I covered the space between us.
"What does it mean, Peter?" He paused and looked down at the lush grass.
"From darkness I understand the night
Dreams flow, a star shines
Ah! I desire Evenstar
Look! A star rises out of the darkness
The song of the star enchants my heart
Ah! I desire Evenstar." I took a step back, the words pounding in my ears. "Do you know these words, Roanoke?" I didn't answer, I just turned and started walking back towards the house. The words chanting through my head made my feet fly even faster. I exploded into my room and threw my expanded closet into my old knapsack. I dressed in a white shirt and black pants. Slipping on a pair of boots and sliding a knife into the top of my right boot. I buckled on my blasters and pulled on a black jacket. Slinging my knapsack over my shoulder I took one last glance around my room. A photo caught my attention. I put down the knapsack and picked up the picture. It was of Peter, Fett and me. The three of us were smiling at some joke, the photographer had caught us unaware and managed to capture the look of friendship between us. I tucked the photo into my jacket pocket and picked up my knapsack again. I opened my door and stuck my head into the hall. It was empty, not even a member of the cleaning staff was around. I found my way to the main entrance and was about to open the door when a voice behind me made me stop.
"Roanoke?" I turned and gave a weak smile to Peter. "What is it, Roanoke, what bothers you so?" I wanted to throw my arms around Peter's frame and bury my grief in my shoulder.
"It is not the words, but rather the language. Peter, the language is one I used to know, many of my original songs were written in it. Something has happened in the underworld to cause that to surface again. It is the song of the Evenstar. The only starlight that ever reaches into the depths, I must go. Please, understand this."
"I do understand, but Roanoke there are so many out there who are still a danger to you."
"This is a chance I have to take, Peter." Peter nodded slowly and almost smiled.
"I always knew you'd be the one running off to save the universe." His dark gray eyes crinkled with laughter. I smiled and gave him a quick hug.
"Farewell, Peter."
"Good-bye, Roanoke." I opened the heavy door and started walking. The door remained open until I faded from sight and Peter could no longer stand the wind. Finally, it closed and sent a thundering boom across the fields. I listened and with a shallow smile started walking again. Across the fields to the nearest city. There I would catch a transport and return to the underworld. The horrible blackness that I was born of, the darkness that rules the lowest levels of the city planet Coruscant. The freighter I boarded was dirty, cramped and slow, but within three days I was standing on the layers of concrete that covered my home planet. I took a turbolift about halfway down and settles into a dive to start gathering information. People around me we're all discussing the strange events that had caused a flood of people to come from the Underworld. It seemed as if no one was left down there, the empty tunnels were said to echo with screams. I finally couldn't stand the endless tales and taking my knapsack disappeared into the growing night. I took a turbolift as far down as it would go. It stopped with a sudden jolt thirty level above the Underworld. The doors snapped open and two armed guards dragged me out.
"This is a restricted zone, no admittance!" One snarled and me and started shoving me along towards the busy streets. Suddenly, they stopped and all fell silent. The whisper of a song rode on the wind and fumes coming from the turbolift behind us. I whirled and listened as screams echoed from the deep. It felt as if someone was sucking the breath from me, as the screams continued I heard a name. Roanoke. Pain suddenly lashed through my mind and I dropped to the street with a choked gasp. The words that had haunted my dreams suddenly exploded from the turbolift, washing over me with blinding pain. I lay on the cold street, grinding my teeth together against the pain. The two guards were in no better shape, their wordless screams and writhing bodies twisted around the words pounding in my ears. Then all fell mercifully silent, and I found the ability to breath again. The darkness was growing, broiling forth from the turbolift itself. I forced myself to stand and walked towards the lift. The floor was gone and only the eternal blackness could be seen. I could hear a hissing sound coming up the shaft, growing louder as it wrapped itself around my mind. I dropped to the pavement holding my head and whimpering. The blackness washed over me, dragging me deeper into it's being. When I opened my eyes I saw what was calling me. The woman dressed in black, her lean hands reaching for me. She had aged from the first time I had seen her, but I was no longer that scared child. I forced myself to stand and meet her black eyes.
"No!" I screamed, throwing myself away from her beckoning presence. The hiss changed to a snarl and two black creature leapt from the shaft. I scrambled back as they stalked forward. I dragged my blasters free from their holsters and started firing. The red beams of energy caught both animals and sent them howling back towards the blackness. I lay still on the pavement for what seemed an eternity remembering the first time I had come face-to-face with one of those animals. I had spooked it out as a child, running from it back towards the adult settlement. It followed me through the tunnels, roaring and snarling at me. I had finally managed to loose it in a tunnel to small for it's body, but I never forgot the crazed look in it's eyes. I never returned to that tunnel, unless I was well armed. I slid my blasters back in the holsters and forced myself to stand. The two guards were awake and trying to help each other stand. I staggered to my feet and managed to stumble to their sides.
"Are you all right?" I asked, pain making my voice harsh. One of them men snagged my arm and his weight dragged me to the ground.
"What is that thing?" I didn't answer him, instead I broke free from his grip and stood. Turning away I walked away. I remained on this level for days, haunting the shadows. Trying to find a way into the darkness that was calling me. Finally, I couldn't stand it any longer. Going to a turbolift I punched in to head down. To the guards shock, instead of going up the lift I went down into the blackness. They tried to recall the lift, but I overrode them every time. Finally it reached the bottom and I stepped out. I placed the letter addressed to Peter in the lift and sent it back up. I adjusted the shoulder straps on my knapsack and started into the blackness. It took four days of walking till my eyes were fully adjusted to the blackness again. By that time, I could hear the hiss of the animals. They we're not attacking me, something was holding them back. The blackness was deeper than it had ever been, and it dragged at my sanity. I knew when I had come to the end of the tunnel, and the darkness was thicker than the air around me. Drawing my blasters I stepped into the darkness and fought my way through it. The room beyond was dark, but closer to the hall than the black gates I had come through. Standing tall next to a smoky fire was the voice of my nightmares. I had known this woman for many years, but never before in this form. She had grown darker, the blackness around us was born of her hatred. Hatred for whom, though? She turned slowly towards me, a vile grin twisting her features.
"So you have returned to the darkness, Roanoke, you have come to me."
"I have returned, but not to you. I have come to be rid of the dreams, to be rid of the pain. I will be haunted by you no more!" I raised my voice against her, and felt the power of my spirit rage against her. She hissed and launched herself at me, I raised my blasters and stood my ground. She stopped and stared at the deadly force contained in such small weapons.
"You have changed, Roanoke, you are not the same as when I knew you. You have...grown." I inclined my head lightly and tightened my grip on the blasters.
"Nothing remains the same, everything is in motion, even people."
"When you fell to the Empire, we wept for you, and look at you now! Nothing worth crying over! You are just like the Imperial scum, carrying your weapon, and not knowing the true power!" She cackled and the wildness in her eyes sent fear driving through my veins.
"You do not know who I am, now, as I do not know you any more, Mother." I said, the pain in my voice almost drawing tears to my eyes. This twisted thing had once been my mother, but now...the woman who had given me life was gone. Only this creature remained behind. She threw back her head and shrieked
"You spawn of darkness, do not dare and call me that! I disown you, child of darkness!" Her rants suddenly fell silent as she drew a knife and leapt towards me. My fingers froze as the knife descended, I found my power over my own body gone. Her scream was intertwined with the snarl of a blaster bolt. It's red energy caught her in the chest, but her bodies momentum dragged her down on top of me. Pain snarled through my body, and twisted itself around my throat. Then her weight was gone, and warm hands covered my own as I stroked the hilt of the knife. I forced my eyes to focus in on the face hovering above mine. Two eyes brilliant and sharp in the darkness caught my attention.
"Fett?" I whispered, pain causing me to keep my words short.
"Yes, it's me Roanoke."
"How...?" I whispered, nothing making sense to my pain filled senses.
"Peter's letter, after he received it, he called me. I followed your trail and found you here. There is nothing more to tell, now you must rest." I couldn't even answer him, for even as he spoke I was fading. Feeling the knife blade work it's way deeper and deeper into my chest. Severing my ties to life as it did. Then as suddenly as the pain began it was gone, as was my consciousness.
I returned to myself slowly, fearing the pain that comes with waking up. But when I opened my eyes there was no pain. Only darkness, and moonlight. Moonlight that illuminated the man asleep in the chair next to my bed. His face was lined with years, and anguish. Tears had left track on his skin, proving that as emotionless as he claimed to be. Fett could still cry, the bags under his eyes also proved that he could remain awake when others had slept. I felt the first twinge of pain from my chest, looking down I saw the bandage and felt the pain growing. Laying back I ignored the pain that came when I took my deep breath and started into the only song that came to mind.
When the cold of Winter comes
Starless night will cover day
In the veiling of the sun
We will walk in bitter rain
But in dreams
I still hear your name
And in dreams
We will meet again
When the seas and mountains fall
And we come, to end of days
In the dark I hear a call
Calling me there
I will go there
And back again.
When I looked over at Fett again he was sitting up and smiling. The moonlight casting strange shadows across his face. I reached out and took his hand.
"Thank you, old friend, thank you."
"Any time you call, I will be there, Roanoke, any time." I smiled and nodded slowly. Relaxing I felt sleep drawing me back to myself. Letting go of everything except Fett's hand I fell into the land of dreams. My dreams we're no longer haunted by the words, or my mother's calling. Instead they were filled with memories of warm days spent by Peter's side, or long walks on a summer evening with Fett. It was strange but deep inside of my mind I knew that of all the people in this universe, I was the only one to know both these men the way that I did. Peter as the wonderful protector and sanctuary, and Fett the guardian and friend. Dreams served only to protect me from the pain for a few more hours. Waking to the poking and prodding of a doctor sent a wave of grimaced through me. The doctor grunted at me and kept poking my abdomen.
"Knifes are always something to avoid, girl, your lucky that one wasn't very sharp." I just snarled and gripped the edge of the bed. He finally quit his poking and with a low chuckle his wrote something on his data board. "Well, your healthy enough to be moved. The wound itself will warn you not to over do it." I nodded and looked around for my knapsack. "Your friend will be in, he has your things. I nodded and sat up, enjoying the sunlight across my face.
"Thank you!" I called out as the doctor left with a murmur of curses on his breath. Fett slipped in and tossed my knapsack on the bed. I smiled, but lay still in the bed.
"Well, don't you want to get back to Peter's?" Fett asked, for once his face clouded with uncertainty.
"Peter, knows I won't be coming back, not for a long time Fett. I said that much in my letter to him." Fett took a step back, almost as if I had hit him.
"Why not, Roanoke?"
"As much as I love Peter, and his house. I cannot help and feel as if I must reach out and spread my voice around." Fett sat in the chair with a bit of anguish wrapping itself around him.
"And so you become, Roanoke the Wanderer again."
"Yes, destined to wander the universe with a her songs." Fett nodded slowly and suddenly he stood. Tossing my blasters to the bed, he turned and started for the door. "Fett, I will always be there for you, no matter where I am at." He turned and I caught the smile that spread across his face.
"And I for you, Roanoke San Anoke." With that he was gone, and I was left alone. I managed to dress in an old beat up jumpsuit and buckle on my blasters before sitting back down on the bed. Exhaustion plaguing my motions. I pulled on my boots and slipped on my old belt. The little pouch of coins biting into my side. I stood again and pulled on my knapsack. With a nod to the doctors I disappeared out the main doors, and into the streets. Finding my slow way down to a small dive, the same one that I had once sung at so long ago. It still had the open stage and dim lights. I sat at a dirty table, sipping an icy drink and listening as a young woman sang. Her voice was young and strong, but held no love for the music. To her it was a way to pay the bills. I closed my eyes and thought back to the day when looking up at Devor, I had smiled and given my answer 'Of course'. I smiled in the darkness and almost laughed at myself. If I had known what journey those words would lead me on, I might not have said them. They girl finished and caught her share of the coins. The stage lay empty and no one made a move towards it. So I stood and slipped back onto the stage. I smiled out at the audience and took a deep breath.
When the cold of Winter comes
Starless night will cover day
In the veiling of the sun
We will walk in bitter rain
But in dreams
I still hear your name
And in dreams
We will meet again
When the seas and mountains fall
And we come, to end of days
In the dark I hear a call
Calling me there
I will go there
And back again.
The audience was struck and only silence welcomed my song. Then people began to breath again, the spell was broken, but I was willing to weave another.
With one light on
In one room
I know your up
When I get home
With one small step upon the stair
I know your look when I get there
If you were a King up there on your throne
Would you be wise enough to let go
For this Queen you think you own
Wants to be a hunter again
Wants to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go.
Unread book
Painful look
The tvs on the sound is down,
One long pause then you begin,
Oh, look what the cats brought in.
If you were a King up there on your throne
Would you be wise enough to let go
For this Queen you think you own
Wants to be a hunter again
Wants to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go
Let me leave.
For the crown you've placed upon my head
Feels to heavy now
I don't know what to say to you
But I smile anyhow
And all the time i'm thinking, thinking
I want to be a hunter again
I want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go.
I want to be a hunter again
I want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go
Let me leave
Let me go.
Cheers and the clatter of coins welcomed the birth of that song and so I gladly stretched my voice and raised it again. This time though, I brought forth a song that had never been sung before.
Dreaming of you in the moonlight,
Thinking of you,
Maybe I forgot once,
Maybe I forgot twice,
But I'll never forget again,
How much I loved you.
You made my life seem right,
You made it seem possible,
Dreaming never was wrong,
Living never felt so right,
By your side I could see,
By your side I could love.
I'll never let go,
Of those lessons I've learned
I'll never forget what price you paid.
May God watch over you, as you watched over me,
May those days be spent in peace and love.
I'll never let go of those silver summer days spent by your side,
May you never let go,
May all the memories stand
By your side to the end as I will
I'll never let go,
I'll never forget
May God watch over you as you watched over me.
May those days be spent in peace and love.
May you never regret
May you never grow old.
I'll never find a friend like you again,
Never in the hundred years I've spent searching.
You alone my heart remembers,
A memory standing on it's own.
A memory to never let go,
A memory to hold close
May your heart remember as mine does
May your heart remember as mine does
Those silver summer day,
The icy catch of our breath
Heart felt friendship
And the trickle of sunshine.
Dreaming of you for eternity my friend.
My breath caught and I felt a cough tickle my throat. It was the first time I had ever sung that song, and I feared the only time. I collected my coins much to the dismay of the crowd and retired to the dark street. I fell into a coughing fit and let the darkness hide my bent form. Taking what was left of my energy I found a place to sleep for the night.
Dawn's light found me and many a person searching for me. My voice had been hailed as the greatest ever, and many we're searching all of Coruscant for me. I smiled and dressed in my red jumpsuit that I had found in Devor's back room. I left my knapsack of clothes in my room and ventured out armed with my blasters and credits. I grabbed some food off a cart and flipped the owner a coin. Then I settled in to listen to a mob of people. They were calling for the Singer to reveal herself. I almost laughed as one man said it was surely the ghost of Roanoke San Anoke. Then I saw a man, standing a little to my left, smirk and shake his head. It was Fett, and for once my heart didn't scream for me to hide. Instead I stood and worked my way to his side. I smiled as he caught sight of me, and gently touched his arm. Then I turned and faced the speaker. Opening my mouth to speak, only to find Fett's hand tightening around my arm. I faced him and saw the fear lingering in his eyes.
"Roanoke..."
"Fett..." Our names carried so much weight after all these years. I reached up and kissed him, then gently worked my way from his embrace. I was on the stage before he could move again and singing.
If I could I would tell you why
The first time I saw her
I could touch the sky
I could turn to stone...and I could not speak
She had the ability to make me weak
Always wishing...always hoping
That she'll get the message from the
Bottom of my heart
Let's together...share forever
It's just a matter of time
I had to wait and let her breath
That's never been easy for a man to see
She moved slow...and took her time
She kept me guessing what was on her mind
It's just a matter of time
Let's forever...be together
It's just a matter of time.
Shock passed through the crowd like a wave from the ocean. Only Fett was unfazed by the song, but that wasn't completely true. The look that passed over his face was a mix of laughter and pain. Remembering the first time I had ever sung that song, made me almost loose myself to laughter. I smiled and fought down the laughter, and drowned out the shock with another song.
I remember when you took a stand
With the pearl of wisdom in your hand
And a soul of desire
You held your own against the world
A lions heart in a little girl
So unafraid of the fire
But those days don't last
Sweet dreams die fast
A stumble when you walk on the wire
When all your friends
Start giving in
The flames are burning higher and higher
Don't give up
Got the whole world at your feet
Just keep on ~ holding on
This is where you need to be
All the days that you've been spending
Spinning while your heart's descending
Like a stone in the ocean
Sometimes when you think the world is ending
It's really just a new beginning
The other side of emotion
But I've seen your eyes no compromise
When you set your mind on the matter
Be strong through the tears
And your sight will clear
You're going get what you're after.
The crowd exploded with cheers and whistles. I smiled and bowed to them, then moving on I smirked out at Fett and started in on a song that I had never had the chance to finish.
Forbidden notions,
flowing faster now,
dragging me down
with their power.
Forbidden emotions,
flowing down and around.
Forbidden devotion,
Begging the friend to not leave,
Begging the love to not die.
Forbidden motions,
The sweet caress,
The loving touch.
Forbidden Notions,
Dragging me down.
Forbidden Emotions,
Flowing Around.
Forbidden Devotion,
Fanning my love.
Forbidden Motions,
Drawing me closer.
The song faded and a smile touched my lips. Fett was staring up at me enthralled in the song he had never heard before. Fett took a halting step forward and then something passed over his eyes and he was suddenly gone. I stayed on that stage and felt something inside me shatter. Tears pricked my eyes, but I forced myself to enter into another song and ignore the pain flowing from my heart.
Read between the lines,
Words are just vibrations,
Don't ignore
Here desire
Pay attention
Your playing with fire
Silence must be heard,
Noise should be observed
The time has come to learn that silence must be heard!
Or times will burn
Friendly cards will turn
Because silence has the right to be heard
If you could talk to your watch
For what they they have to say
Words with out a meaning
They are fading away
Silence must be heard
Noise should be observed
The time has come to learn that silence must be heard!
Or times will burn
Friendly cards will turn
Because silence has the right to be heard!
The people were practically begging me to continue, or at least for my name as I headed for the edge of the stage. I paused and stared in shock as the crowd began to edge up onto the stage. They wanted my name or my songs. Not some ghost of a woman. I edged back and felt the smooth wall my back was up against. I was mentally cursing my foolish side and praying that some cosmic force would for once work with me. Then the scream of a ship's engines caught my attention. Slave I hovered slightly above the buildings and was lowering a rope. I ignored the burning wind and snagged the end. Holding on for dear life as the ship lifted and rose steadily into the sky. The rope was moving steadily into the ship, till I reached the edge and was snagged by the back of my jacket. I lay on the cold hold floor and almost sobbed with relief. I rolled over and smiled up at Fett.
"Well, that went well." I said and fought the urge to pass out.
"You never fail to amaze me, Roanoke."
"At what, my ability to get into trouble, or my grand talent for getting out?" Fett just shook his head and hauled me up off the deck.
"Both." He snapped and dragged me towards the bridge.
"What is up with you?" I snapped, feeling rather like a puppy being carried by the scruff of it's neck.
"Your in deeper than you can imagine, and I doubt even I can get you out of this one."
"Who wants me now?"
"Not who wants you, it's more of who doesn't."
"Okay, who doesn't?"
"The Imperials are paying 125,000 credits for your head, 100,000 from the Huts, take your pick. The two greatest evils of the universe are fighting over you. I suspect for different reasons though, but one thing is in common. They want you dead, not alive." Fett threw me into a chair and headed for his pilot seat. "So, we get you back to Peter's and end this little adventure of yours." I stared down at my boots and spoke slowly, but surely.
"Only if you promise to stay with me, for the rest of my days?" Fett stopped in his tracks and turned to face me. His dark eyes were filled with....fear?
"Roanoke..." What was he afraid of? "I..." Please, Fett, I don't want to loose you! "Love you." He finished and staggered to fall at my feet. "I love you, Roanoke." I blinked at his words and felt my heart warm under his gaze. I reached out and brushed a hand along his face.
"Then stay with me?" His answer was silent, as he reached up and kissed me. Searing away any doubts I had ever held about our destinies.
Forbidden notions,
Flowing faster now,
Dragging me down
With their power.
Forbidden emotions,
Flowing down and around.
Forbidden devotion,
Begging the friend to not leave,
Begging the love to not die.
Forbidden motions,
The sweet caress,
The loving touch.
Forbidden Notions,
Dragging me down.
Forbidden Emotions,
Flowing Around.
Forbidden Devotion,
Fanning my love.
Forbidden Motions,
Drawing me closer.
Wild Child-Enya
Brothers In Arms-Joan Boaz
Adios-Enya
Lazy Day-Enya
Hunter-Dido
Break Away-Big Pig
It's A Sin-Pet Shop Boys
Silence Must Be Heard-Enigma
There Was A Boy-Micheal W. Smith
Kryptonite-Three Doors Down
Matter Of Time-Micheal W. Smith
Don't Give Up-Micheal W. Smith
May It Be-Enya
In Dreams-Edward Ross
Moonlight Dream-Anatalia
Forbidden Emotions-Anatalia
A Song To Sing
Four Years Later
The sunlight streaming from two open doors caught my attention and drew me from the hazy dream I had been having. A dream that had haunted me for days, it was always the same. I was back in Devor's dive, singing, but instead of the songs I knew I had sung there, different words always came out. Strange words, I couldn't quite make them out. They were in another language, a language that drew me in ever time I heard it. I sat up in my bed and pushed the blankets aside. The sun was just rising, awakening the gardens outside my door. I pulled on a robe and stalked the lush grass of the lawn. Thinking, absorbing the sunlight. It had been over four years since Fett had brought me here. It was my sanctuary, owned by a dear old friend named Peter. He enjoyed having me around, and loved it when I sang. Which wasn't very often any more. Fett came and went, but when he was here..something about him changed. He actually seemed to relax, which was amazing considering who he was. The lush grass tickled my feet and then gave way to my stride. I had found my strength again, and was slowly gaining back what I had lost to the underworld. I hummed a nameless tune as I walked, finding strength in the tune. The dawn was gone and the sun was climbing high when I paused my walk. I brushed a pale blue flower and smiled at the fragrance that flowed from it.
"Roanoke?" I looked up and met Peter's dark gray eyes with a smile.
"Good morning, Peter."
"I trust you slept well, Roanoke?"
"Peter, I keep having this dream-"
"I know, you often speak of it when your asleep."
"I do?"
"Oh, yes, last night was the worst though, so I spent most of the night translating those words that bother you so." I covered the space between us.
"What does it mean, Peter?" He paused and looked down at the lush grass.
"From darkness I understand the night
Dreams flow, a star shines
Ah! I desire Evenstar
Look! A star rises out of the darkness
The song of the star enchants my heart
Ah! I desire Evenstar." I took a step back, the words pounding in my ears. "Do you know these words, Roanoke?" I didn't answer, I just turned and started walking back towards the house. The words chanting through my head made my feet fly even faster. I exploded into my room and threw my expanded closet into my old knapsack. I dressed in a white shirt and black pants. Slipping on a pair of boots and sliding a knife into the top of my right boot. I buckled on my blasters and pulled on a black jacket. Slinging my knapsack over my shoulder I took one last glance around my room. A photo caught my attention. I put down the knapsack and picked up the picture. It was of Peter, Fett and me. The three of us were smiling at some joke, the photographer had caught us unaware and managed to capture the look of friendship between us. I tucked the photo into my jacket pocket and picked up my knapsack again. I opened my door and stuck my head into the hall. It was empty, not even a member of the cleaning staff was around. I found my way to the main entrance and was about to open the door when a voice behind me made me stop.
"Roanoke?" I turned and gave a weak smile to Peter. "What is it, Roanoke, what bothers you so?" I wanted to throw my arms around Peter's frame and bury my grief in my shoulder.
"It is not the words, but rather the language. Peter, the language is one I used to know, many of my original songs were written in it. Something has happened in the underworld to cause that to surface again. It is the song of the Evenstar. The only starlight that ever reaches into the depths, I must go. Please, understand this."
"I do understand, but Roanoke there are so many out there who are still a danger to you."
"This is a chance I have to take, Peter." Peter nodded slowly and almost smiled.
"I always knew you'd be the one running off to save the universe." His dark gray eyes crinkled with laughter. I smiled and gave him a quick hug.
"Farewell, Peter."
"Good-bye, Roanoke." I opened the heavy door and started walking. The door remained open until I faded from sight and Peter could no longer stand the wind. Finally, it closed and sent a thundering boom across the fields. I listened and with a shallow smile started walking again. Across the fields to the nearest city. There I would catch a transport and return to the underworld. The horrible blackness that I was born of, the darkness that rules the lowest levels of the city planet Coruscant. The freighter I boarded was dirty, cramped and slow, but within three days I was standing on the layers of concrete that covered my home planet. I took a turbolift about halfway down and settles into a dive to start gathering information. People around me we're all discussing the strange events that had caused a flood of people to come from the Underworld. It seemed as if no one was left down there, the empty tunnels were said to echo with screams. I finally couldn't stand the endless tales and taking my knapsack disappeared into the growing night. I took a turbolift as far down as it would go. It stopped with a sudden jolt thirty level above the Underworld. The doors snapped open and two armed guards dragged me out.
"This is a restricted zone, no admittance!" One snarled and me and started shoving me along towards the busy streets. Suddenly, they stopped and all fell silent. The whisper of a song rode on the wind and fumes coming from the turbolift behind us. I whirled and listened as screams echoed from the deep. It felt as if someone was sucking the breath from me, as the screams continued I heard a name. Roanoke. Pain suddenly lashed through my mind and I dropped to the street with a choked gasp. The words that had haunted my dreams suddenly exploded from the turbolift, washing over me with blinding pain. I lay on the cold street, grinding my teeth together against the pain. The two guards were in no better shape, their wordless screams and writhing bodies twisted around the words pounding in my ears. Then all fell mercifully silent, and I found the ability to breath again. The darkness was growing, broiling forth from the turbolift itself. I forced myself to stand and walked towards the lift. The floor was gone and only the eternal blackness could be seen. I could hear a hissing sound coming up the shaft, growing louder as it wrapped itself around my mind. I dropped to the pavement holding my head and whimpering. The blackness washed over me, dragging me deeper into it's being. When I opened my eyes I saw what was calling me. The woman dressed in black, her lean hands reaching for me. She had aged from the first time I had seen her, but I was no longer that scared child. I forced myself to stand and meet her black eyes.
"No!" I screamed, throwing myself away from her beckoning presence. The hiss changed to a snarl and two black creature leapt from the shaft. I scrambled back as they stalked forward. I dragged my blasters free from their holsters and started firing. The red beams of energy caught both animals and sent them howling back towards the blackness. I lay still on the pavement for what seemed an eternity remembering the first time I had come face-to-face with one of those animals. I had spooked it out as a child, running from it back towards the adult settlement. It followed me through the tunnels, roaring and snarling at me. I had finally managed to loose it in a tunnel to small for it's body, but I never forgot the crazed look in it's eyes. I never returned to that tunnel, unless I was well armed. I slid my blasters back in the holsters and forced myself to stand. The two guards were awake and trying to help each other stand. I staggered to my feet and managed to stumble to their sides.
"Are you all right?" I asked, pain making my voice harsh. One of them men snagged my arm and his weight dragged me to the ground.
"What is that thing?" I didn't answer him, instead I broke free from his grip and stood. Turning away I walked away. I remained on this level for days, haunting the shadows. Trying to find a way into the darkness that was calling me. Finally, I couldn't stand it any longer. Going to a turbolift I punched in to head down. To the guards shock, instead of going up the lift I went down into the blackness. They tried to recall the lift, but I overrode them every time. Finally it reached the bottom and I stepped out. I placed the letter addressed to Peter in the lift and sent it back up. I adjusted the shoulder straps on my knapsack and started into the blackness. It took four days of walking till my eyes were fully adjusted to the blackness again. By that time, I could hear the hiss of the animals. They we're not attacking me, something was holding them back. The blackness was deeper than it had ever been, and it dragged at my sanity. I knew when I had come to the end of the tunnel, and the darkness was thicker than the air around me. Drawing my blasters I stepped into the darkness and fought my way through it. The room beyond was dark, but closer to the hall than the black gates I had come through. Standing tall next to a smoky fire was the voice of my nightmares. I had known this woman for many years, but never before in this form. She had grown darker, the blackness around us was born of her hatred. Hatred for whom, though? She turned slowly towards me, a vile grin twisting her features.
"So you have returned to the darkness, Roanoke, you have come to me."
"I have returned, but not to you. I have come to be rid of the dreams, to be rid of the pain. I will be haunted by you no more!" I raised my voice against her, and felt the power of my spirit rage against her. She hissed and launched herself at me, I raised my blasters and stood my ground. She stopped and stared at the deadly force contained in such small weapons.
"You have changed, Roanoke, you are not the same as when I knew you. You have...grown." I inclined my head lightly and tightened my grip on the blasters.
"Nothing remains the same, everything is in motion, even people."
"When you fell to the Empire, we wept for you, and look at you now! Nothing worth crying over! You are just like the Imperial scum, carrying your weapon, and not knowing the true power!" She cackled and the wildness in her eyes sent fear driving through my veins.
"You do not know who I am, now, as I do not know you any more, Mother." I said, the pain in my voice almost drawing tears to my eyes. This twisted thing had once been my mother, but now...the woman who had given me life was gone. Only this creature remained behind. She threw back her head and shrieked
"You spawn of darkness, do not dare and call me that! I disown you, child of darkness!" Her rants suddenly fell silent as she drew a knife and leapt towards me. My fingers froze as the knife descended, I found my power over my own body gone. Her scream was intertwined with the snarl of a blaster bolt. It's red energy caught her in the chest, but her bodies momentum dragged her down on top of me. Pain snarled through my body, and twisted itself around my throat. Then her weight was gone, and warm hands covered my own as I stroked the hilt of the knife. I forced my eyes to focus in on the face hovering above mine. Two eyes brilliant and sharp in the darkness caught my attention.
"Fett?" I whispered, pain causing me to keep my words short.
"Yes, it's me Roanoke."
"How...?" I whispered, nothing making sense to my pain filled senses.
"Peter's letter, after he received it, he called me. I followed your trail and found you here. There is nothing more to tell, now you must rest." I couldn't even answer him, for even as he spoke I was fading. Feeling the knife blade work it's way deeper and deeper into my chest. Severing my ties to life as it did. Then as suddenly as the pain began it was gone, as was my consciousness.
I returned to myself slowly, fearing the pain that comes with waking up. But when I opened my eyes there was no pain. Only darkness, and moonlight. Moonlight that illuminated the man asleep in the chair next to my bed. His face was lined with years, and anguish. Tears had left track on his skin, proving that as emotionless as he claimed to be. Fett could still cry, the bags under his eyes also proved that he could remain awake when others had slept. I felt the first twinge of pain from my chest, looking down I saw the bandage and felt the pain growing. Laying back I ignored the pain that came when I took my deep breath and started into the only song that came to mind.
When the cold of Winter comes
Starless night will cover day
In the veiling of the sun
We will walk in bitter rain
But in dreams
I still hear your name
And in dreams
We will meet again
When the seas and mountains fall
And we come, to end of days
In the dark I hear a call
Calling me there
I will go there
And back again.
When I looked over at Fett again he was sitting up and smiling. The moonlight casting strange shadows across his face. I reached out and took his hand.
"Thank you, old friend, thank you."
"Any time you call, I will be there, Roanoke, any time." I smiled and nodded slowly. Relaxing I felt sleep drawing me back to myself. Letting go of everything except Fett's hand I fell into the land of dreams. My dreams we're no longer haunted by the words, or my mother's calling. Instead they were filled with memories of warm days spent by Peter's side, or long walks on a summer evening with Fett. It was strange but deep inside of my mind I knew that of all the people in this universe, I was the only one to know both these men the way that I did. Peter as the wonderful protector and sanctuary, and Fett the guardian and friend. Dreams served only to protect me from the pain for a few more hours. Waking to the poking and prodding of a doctor sent a wave of grimaced through me. The doctor grunted at me and kept poking my abdomen.
"Knifes are always something to avoid, girl, your lucky that one wasn't very sharp." I just snarled and gripped the edge of the bed. He finally quit his poking and with a low chuckle his wrote something on his data board. "Well, your healthy enough to be moved. The wound itself will warn you not to over do it." I nodded and looked around for my knapsack. "Your friend will be in, he has your things. I nodded and sat up, enjoying the sunlight across my face.
"Thank you!" I called out as the doctor left with a murmur of curses on his breath. Fett slipped in and tossed my knapsack on the bed. I smiled, but lay still in the bed.
"Well, don't you want to get back to Peter's?" Fett asked, for once his face clouded with uncertainty.
"Peter, knows I won't be coming back, not for a long time Fett. I said that much in my letter to him." Fett took a step back, almost as if I had hit him.
"Why not, Roanoke?"
"As much as I love Peter, and his house. I cannot help and feel as if I must reach out and spread my voice around." Fett sat in the chair with a bit of anguish wrapping itself around him.
"And so you become, Roanoke the Wanderer again."
"Yes, destined to wander the universe with a her songs." Fett nodded slowly and suddenly he stood. Tossing my blasters to the bed, he turned and started for the door. "Fett, I will always be there for you, no matter where I am at." He turned and I caught the smile that spread across his face.
"And I for you, Roanoke San Anoke." With that he was gone, and I was left alone. I managed to dress in an old beat up jumpsuit and buckle on my blasters before sitting back down on the bed. Exhaustion plaguing my motions. I pulled on my boots and slipped on my old belt. The little pouch of coins biting into my side. I stood again and pulled on my knapsack. With a nod to the doctors I disappeared out the main doors, and into the streets. Finding my slow way down to a small dive, the same one that I had once sung at so long ago. It still had the open stage and dim lights. I sat at a dirty table, sipping an icy drink and listening as a young woman sang. Her voice was young and strong, but held no love for the music. To her it was a way to pay the bills. I closed my eyes and thought back to the day when looking up at Devor, I had smiled and given my answer 'Of course'. I smiled in the darkness and almost laughed at myself. If I had known what journey those words would lead me on, I might not have said them. They girl finished and caught her share of the coins. The stage lay empty and no one made a move towards it. So I stood and slipped back onto the stage. I smiled out at the audience and took a deep breath.
When the cold of Winter comes
Starless night will cover day
In the veiling of the sun
We will walk in bitter rain
But in dreams
I still hear your name
And in dreams
We will meet again
When the seas and mountains fall
And we come, to end of days
In the dark I hear a call
Calling me there
I will go there
And back again.
The audience was struck and only silence welcomed my song. Then people began to breath again, the spell was broken, but I was willing to weave another.
With one light on
In one room
I know your up
When I get home
With one small step upon the stair
I know your look when I get there
If you were a King up there on your throne
Would you be wise enough to let go
For this Queen you think you own
Wants to be a hunter again
Wants to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go.
Unread book
Painful look
The tvs on the sound is down,
One long pause then you begin,
Oh, look what the cats brought in.
If you were a King up there on your throne
Would you be wise enough to let go
For this Queen you think you own
Wants to be a hunter again
Wants to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go
Let me leave.
For the crown you've placed upon my head
Feels to heavy now
I don't know what to say to you
But I smile anyhow
And all the time i'm thinking, thinking
I want to be a hunter again
I want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go.
I want to be a hunter again
I want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go
Let me leave
Let me go.
Cheers and the clatter of coins welcomed the birth of that song and so I gladly stretched my voice and raised it again. This time though, I brought forth a song that had never been sung before.
Dreaming of you in the moonlight,
Thinking of you,
Maybe I forgot once,
Maybe I forgot twice,
But I'll never forget again,
How much I loved you.
You made my life seem right,
You made it seem possible,
Dreaming never was wrong,
Living never felt so right,
By your side I could see,
By your side I could love.
I'll never let go,
Of those lessons I've learned
I'll never forget what price you paid.
May God watch over you, as you watched over me,
May those days be spent in peace and love.
I'll never let go of those silver summer days spent by your side,
May you never let go,
May all the memories stand
By your side to the end as I will
I'll never let go,
I'll never forget
May God watch over you as you watched over me.
May those days be spent in peace and love.
May you never regret
May you never grow old.
I'll never find a friend like you again,
Never in the hundred years I've spent searching.
You alone my heart remembers,
A memory standing on it's own.
A memory to never let go,
A memory to hold close
May your heart remember as mine does
May your heart remember as mine does
Those silver summer day,
The icy catch of our breath
Heart felt friendship
And the trickle of sunshine.
Dreaming of you for eternity my friend.
My breath caught and I felt a cough tickle my throat. It was the first time I had ever sung that song, and I feared the only time. I collected my coins much to the dismay of the crowd and retired to the dark street. I fell into a coughing fit and let the darkness hide my bent form. Taking what was left of my energy I found a place to sleep for the night.
Dawn's light found me and many a person searching for me. My voice had been hailed as the greatest ever, and many we're searching all of Coruscant for me. I smiled and dressed in my red jumpsuit that I had found in Devor's back room. I left my knapsack of clothes in my room and ventured out armed with my blasters and credits. I grabbed some food off a cart and flipped the owner a coin. Then I settled in to listen to a mob of people. They were calling for the Singer to reveal herself. I almost laughed as one man said it was surely the ghost of Roanoke San Anoke. Then I saw a man, standing a little to my left, smirk and shake his head. It was Fett, and for once my heart didn't scream for me to hide. Instead I stood and worked my way to his side. I smiled as he caught sight of me, and gently touched his arm. Then I turned and faced the speaker. Opening my mouth to speak, only to find Fett's hand tightening around my arm. I faced him and saw the fear lingering in his eyes.
"Roanoke..."
"Fett..." Our names carried so much weight after all these years. I reached up and kissed him, then gently worked my way from his embrace. I was on the stage before he could move again and singing.
If I could I would tell you why
The first time I saw her
I could touch the sky
I could turn to stone...and I could not speak
She had the ability to make me weak
Always wishing...always hoping
That she'll get the message from the
Bottom of my heart
Let's together...share forever
It's just a matter of time
I had to wait and let her breath
That's never been easy for a man to see
She moved slow...and took her time
She kept me guessing what was on her mind
It's just a matter of time
Let's forever...be together
It's just a matter of time.
Shock passed through the crowd like a wave from the ocean. Only Fett was unfazed by the song, but that wasn't completely true. The look that passed over his face was a mix of laughter and pain. Remembering the first time I had ever sung that song, made me almost loose myself to laughter. I smiled and fought down the laughter, and drowned out the shock with another song.
I remember when you took a stand
With the pearl of wisdom in your hand
And a soul of desire
You held your own against the world
A lions heart in a little girl
So unafraid of the fire
But those days don't last
Sweet dreams die fast
A stumble when you walk on the wire
When all your friends
Start giving in
The flames are burning higher and higher
Don't give up
Got the whole world at your feet
Just keep on ~ holding on
This is where you need to be
All the days that you've been spending
Spinning while your heart's descending
Like a stone in the ocean
Sometimes when you think the world is ending
It's really just a new beginning
The other side of emotion
But I've seen your eyes no compromise
When you set your mind on the matter
Be strong through the tears
And your sight will clear
You're going get what you're after.
The crowd exploded with cheers and whistles. I smiled and bowed to them, then moving on I smirked out at Fett and started in on a song that I had never had the chance to finish.
Forbidden notions,
flowing faster now,
dragging me down
with their power.
Forbidden emotions,
flowing down and around.
Forbidden devotion,
Begging the friend to not leave,
Begging the love to not die.
Forbidden motions,
The sweet caress,
The loving touch.
Forbidden Notions,
Dragging me down.
Forbidden Emotions,
Flowing Around.
Forbidden Devotion,
Fanning my love.
Forbidden Motions,
Drawing me closer.
The song faded and a smile touched my lips. Fett was staring up at me enthralled in the song he had never heard before. Fett took a halting step forward and then something passed over his eyes and he was suddenly gone. I stayed on that stage and felt something inside me shatter. Tears pricked my eyes, but I forced myself to enter into another song and ignore the pain flowing from my heart.
Read between the lines,
Words are just vibrations,
Don't ignore
Here desire
Pay attention
Your playing with fire
Silence must be heard,
Noise should be observed
The time has come to learn that silence must be heard!
Or times will burn
Friendly cards will turn
Because silence has the right to be heard
If you could talk to your watch
For what they they have to say
Words with out a meaning
They are fading away
Silence must be heard
Noise should be observed
The time has come to learn that silence must be heard!
Or times will burn
Friendly cards will turn
Because silence has the right to be heard!
The people were practically begging me to continue, or at least for my name as I headed for the edge of the stage. I paused and stared in shock as the crowd began to edge up onto the stage. They wanted my name or my songs. Not some ghost of a woman. I edged back and felt the smooth wall my back was up against. I was mentally cursing my foolish side and praying that some cosmic force would for once work with me. Then the scream of a ship's engines caught my attention. Slave I hovered slightly above the buildings and was lowering a rope. I ignored the burning wind and snagged the end. Holding on for dear life as the ship lifted and rose steadily into the sky. The rope was moving steadily into the ship, till I reached the edge and was snagged by the back of my jacket. I lay on the cold hold floor and almost sobbed with relief. I rolled over and smiled up at Fett.
"Well, that went well." I said and fought the urge to pass out.
"You never fail to amaze me, Roanoke."
"At what, my ability to get into trouble, or my grand talent for getting out?" Fett just shook his head and hauled me up off the deck.
"Both." He snapped and dragged me towards the bridge.
"What is up with you?" I snapped, feeling rather like a puppy being carried by the scruff of it's neck.
"Your in deeper than you can imagine, and I doubt even I can get you out of this one."
"Who wants me now?"
"Not who wants you, it's more of who doesn't."
"Okay, who doesn't?"
"The Imperials are paying 125,000 credits for your head, 100,000 from the Huts, take your pick. The two greatest evils of the universe are fighting over you. I suspect for different reasons though, but one thing is in common. They want you dead, not alive." Fett threw me into a chair and headed for his pilot seat. "So, we get you back to Peter's and end this little adventure of yours." I stared down at my boots and spoke slowly, but surely.
"Only if you promise to stay with me, for the rest of my days?" Fett stopped in his tracks and turned to face me. His dark eyes were filled with....fear?
"Roanoke..." What was he afraid of? "I..." Please, Fett, I don't want to loose you! "Love you." He finished and staggered to fall at my feet. "I love you, Roanoke." I blinked at his words and felt my heart warm under his gaze. I reached out and brushed a hand along his face.
"Then stay with me?" His answer was silent, as he reached up and kissed me. Searing away any doubts I had ever held about our destinies.
Forbidden notions,
Flowing faster now,
Dragging me down
With their power.
Forbidden emotions,
Flowing down and around.
Forbidden devotion,
Begging the friend to not leave,
Begging the love to not die.
Forbidden motions,
The sweet caress,
The loving touch.
Forbidden Notions,
Dragging me down.
Forbidden Emotions,
Flowing Around.
Forbidden Devotion,
Fanning my love.
Forbidden Motions,
Drawing me closer.