Part 5
The days since Qui-Gon's recovery passed quickly. He spent his
mornings in meditation and doing a series of training routines geared
to return his body to peak physical condition. Not that he'd
necessarily deteriorated in the past year, but he still felt the need
for it... and it helped to keep his mind busy. He met with Obi-Wan
and Anakin for the noon meal, which they'd finally managed to
convince Anakin to take in the dining hall. The first time they
walked into the enormous mess hall, it feel dead silent. Qui-Gon
thought the poor child would turn and run out, but surprisingly, he
didn't. Instead, the three of them
made their way to an empty table in the back and sat down with their
food. Eventually, the crowded room returned to its regular din. Life
went on, but
Qui-Gon knew that for both himself and Anakin something significant
had happened.
They had officially rejoined the human race.
His evenings, however, continued to bring the strange, confusing
visions. At first, Qui-Gon believed them to be manifestations of his
injuries and the insecurity he'd felt after he'd initially been
healed. That appeared not to be
the case... and that had him all the more confused. Why did the
visions persist even after the rest of his life had begun to return
to normal? What did they mean? The more he meditated on it, the more
unsettling it became. He felt it unlikely that he would ever
understand them, as Mace had suggested.
And how could he understand them? These visions--these tormentingly wonderful images of Shmi and himself--were unlike anything he had experienced before in his life. They were impassioned and highly self-indulgent. Qui-Gon had never been so self- absorbed in his entire life. Why should he start now?
Because you should, a voice in his mind told him. It was a young, hearty voice--the words spoken in a pleading tone. Hearing it echoing through his memory, Qui-Gon found himself lost in moments long past.
***his memory***
"Why do you ask this of me?" a much-younger Qui-Gon Jinn asked his friend. "Why must I do this? You know I don't agree with this maddening decision."
"Because you should," Branon Dol told him with conviction. "Qui-- you're my best friend. If you don't stand up with me now... I don't know what I'll do."
"Bran, you and Rhianne mean the world to me. You're my closest
friends, but I don't understand this. And yet.. " he paused in his
protest. "What did Master Yoda say when you spoke to him?" he asked,
sincerely hoping Yoda would steer Branon away from this selfish
course of action. In Qui-Gon's mind, a Jedi's duty was to the Force
and to their Order. He was fully prepared to give up all worldly
experiences for a life of serving others in the name of justice.
Until now, he'd believed this to be the only way... the only path a
Jedi could take. Branon's desire to marry Rhianne seemed like just
that--desire, a thing he
should be trying to avoid rather than embrace.
Branon Dol sighed heavily. "You really are making this difficult, Qui. All you have to do is say yes or no. Will you or will you not stand up with me tomorrow when I wed Rhianne?"
"What did Yoda say, Bran?" Qui-Gon insisted. "Please... I need to know you are doing the right thing."
"Others have married, Qui! I won't be the first!" Bran
exclaimed in exasperation, but then met the eyes of his friend and
read accurately the worried confusion there. "Master Yoda me to
follow my heart. He said that the
Force was leading me, and only in my heart would I know my true
path."
"And this is what you believe the Force is leading you to do?" asked his friend, his eyes down cast.
"Yes, Qui..." Branon reached out, placing his hand on Qui-Gon's shoulder. His voice was soft. "I know it's not the life you see for yourself, Qui, but I'm not you. All I am asking is that you don't turn away from me because of this."
Qui-Gon raised his head. He nodded slowly. "Yes... you know I'll do it, Bran." Then, suddenly his face split into a wry grin. "Only on one condition."
"What's that?" Branon's face had taken on a similar expression. Usually, when Qui got that look on his face, he was up to some trouble.
"That if the day ever comes when I marry, you'll stand up with me." When Branon chuckled, Qui-Gon added a more emphatic "If...mind you. I doubt it shall ever come to that."
"Know we do not what the future will hold," Branon said in imitation of Master Yoda, causing them both to laugh.
"Yes, Master!" was Qui-Gon's sarcastic reply.
***end memory***
Yes, Master, Qui-Gon could still hear himself saying as the memory faded. He missed Branon more and more, especially since returning from Naboo. But why that memory? Why now-- the day before he was being sent out on his first mission since his brush with death? What did it all mean?
