In the Shrink's Chair: Isabel Evans
Promptly at eleven o'clock, a tall, blonde teenager arrived in my office. Looking at this beauty, I quickly prepared myself for the usual teen angst…friends…school……guys. Mentally preparing myself for the normal teen sob story, I invited this young woman to sit down in the shrink's chair.
"Well, I really don't know why I'm here," Isabel began. I tried not to roll my eyes; all teens start that way.
"Just tell me what's on your mind" I told her, trying to be reassuring. "Whatever you have to tell me, it's nothing that I haven't heard before.
She looked at me, unconvinced.
"Look, I've had stories from people about their toasters trying to kill them to aliens abducting them." I chuckled, "I know that it's Roswell but the story kind of gets repetitive after a while."
"Can I trust you to not tell anyone?" she asked, unconvinced
"Of course."
"I'm an alien."
I almost fell out of my chair. This beats all stories about abduction. An alien! I must be hallucinating! All right, I told myself, no more cedar oil from the Mrs. DeLuca's store for you! (A/N: I don't think that Amy DeLuca sells cedar oil, but it's my fic so oh well!)
"Okay, for about how long have you known that you were an alien?" I asked cautiously, still convinced that Isabel needed to be admitted into a mental institution.
"I've known my whole life. When I was a young child, I emerged from my pod."
Pod? Whoa, wait a minute, this story sounds familiar. "Are you sure you're not thinking about the story Thumbelina?" I asked.
She glared at me…not a good sign.
"Yes I'm sure! My brother and his best friend are aliens too." Okay, by this point, I am mentally recalling the phone number for Roswell's Crazy House.
I decide to humor her for a while to determine if she should be put in the insane section or the full-fledged wack-job-loop-dee-loop-no-marbles-left- empty-head-no-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-a-few-cans-short-of-a-six- pack section.
"Why are you on our planet?" I questioned.
"In a former life, we, my brother, my friend and I were royalty. My brother Max, was king and I was Princess Vilandra."
Vilandra, what a name! What mother, alien or human, in their right mind would name a child Vilandra? It sounds like some foreign seductress!
"Interesting name."
"I betrayed my family. I fell in love with our enemy and turned my family over to him…Kivar"
Okay, full-fledged wack-job-loop-dee-loop-no-marbles-left-empty-head-no-the- brightest-crayon-in-the-box-a-few-cans-short-of-a-six-pack section definitely needs to be called right now.
"So, you and this guy sort of had a Romeo and Juliet thing going?"
"No, that's my brother and his on-off-on-off girlfriend Liz."
Huh? Did I just miss something here?
"Your brother's girlfriend on your planet?"
"No, Liz is his girlfriend on this planet. In the other life, he was married to Ava."
"Ava?"
"Yes, in this life her name is Tess." At this, Miss Evans shudders.
"What's a matter with Tess?" I asked innocently.
"Tess? EVERYTHING! She's a fake blonde bimbo who gives true blondes like yours truly a bad name! She screwed up our whole entire life! Tess comes to town and spouts prophecies and junk like that about DESTINY!" She took a deep breath and continued. "Destiny…I am so SICK of that word!" she yelled vehemently.
I was scared stiff in my chair.
"Tess ruined everything! All of our human-alien relationships down the drain! I miss Alex even though I'm too proud to tell him. I can NEVER be with Michael! Eww, going out with him would be like going out with Max! How could Max be with Tess? He loves Liz and even though she won't admit it, she loves him too. I don't care how much she protests, she loves him. I'm just sick and tired of watching their puppy dog lovesick pining stares at each other! I am sick of listening to the Counting Crows! I'm sick of Destiny! I'm sick of Tess! I'm sick of listening to Michael and Maria bicker, even though if there wasn't this stupid metal book with pictures of Michael and I together, they still would bicker!"
Um, where's the cedar oil when you need it? I take it back, she doesn't belong in the wack-job-loop-dee-loop-no-marbles-left-empty-head-no-the- brightest-crayon-in-the-box-a-few-cans-short-of-a-six-pack section, there IS no section for this person or thing.
"Well, that was interesting…but look at the time! My next client is due any minute now. It was a pleasure meeting you Miss Evans and I will see you soon."
With a nod, she walked out just as confidently as she walked in. Then she turned around, "Oh, and one more thing, if you tell ANYONE about us being aliens, I know how to send you nightmares, my brother can set off any alarm, Tess, argh I hate that girl, can mindwarp you and Michael, who has killed a FBI agent can melt locks and give nasty rashes."
Gulp.
Promptly at eleven o'clock, a tall, blonde teenager arrived in my office. Looking at this beauty, I quickly prepared myself for the usual teen angst…friends…school……guys. Mentally preparing myself for the normal teen sob story, I invited this young woman to sit down in the shrink's chair.
"Well, I really don't know why I'm here," Isabel began. I tried not to roll my eyes; all teens start that way.
"Just tell me what's on your mind" I told her, trying to be reassuring. "Whatever you have to tell me, it's nothing that I haven't heard before.
She looked at me, unconvinced.
"Look, I've had stories from people about their toasters trying to kill them to aliens abducting them." I chuckled, "I know that it's Roswell but the story kind of gets repetitive after a while."
"Can I trust you to not tell anyone?" she asked, unconvinced
"Of course."
"I'm an alien."
I almost fell out of my chair. This beats all stories about abduction. An alien! I must be hallucinating! All right, I told myself, no more cedar oil from the Mrs. DeLuca's store for you! (A/N: I don't think that Amy DeLuca sells cedar oil, but it's my fic so oh well!)
"Okay, for about how long have you known that you were an alien?" I asked cautiously, still convinced that Isabel needed to be admitted into a mental institution.
"I've known my whole life. When I was a young child, I emerged from my pod."
Pod? Whoa, wait a minute, this story sounds familiar. "Are you sure you're not thinking about the story Thumbelina?" I asked.
She glared at me…not a good sign.
"Yes I'm sure! My brother and his best friend are aliens too." Okay, by this point, I am mentally recalling the phone number for Roswell's Crazy House.
I decide to humor her for a while to determine if she should be put in the insane section or the full-fledged wack-job-loop-dee-loop-no-marbles-left- empty-head-no-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-a-few-cans-short-of-a-six- pack section.
"Why are you on our planet?" I questioned.
"In a former life, we, my brother, my friend and I were royalty. My brother Max, was king and I was Princess Vilandra."
Vilandra, what a name! What mother, alien or human, in their right mind would name a child Vilandra? It sounds like some foreign seductress!
"Interesting name."
"I betrayed my family. I fell in love with our enemy and turned my family over to him…Kivar"
Okay, full-fledged wack-job-loop-dee-loop-no-marbles-left-empty-head-no-the- brightest-crayon-in-the-box-a-few-cans-short-of-a-six-pack section definitely needs to be called right now.
"So, you and this guy sort of had a Romeo and Juliet thing going?"
"No, that's my brother and his on-off-on-off girlfriend Liz."
Huh? Did I just miss something here?
"Your brother's girlfriend on your planet?"
"No, Liz is his girlfriend on this planet. In the other life, he was married to Ava."
"Ava?"
"Yes, in this life her name is Tess." At this, Miss Evans shudders.
"What's a matter with Tess?" I asked innocently.
"Tess? EVERYTHING! She's a fake blonde bimbo who gives true blondes like yours truly a bad name! She screwed up our whole entire life! Tess comes to town and spouts prophecies and junk like that about DESTINY!" She took a deep breath and continued. "Destiny…I am so SICK of that word!" she yelled vehemently.
I was scared stiff in my chair.
"Tess ruined everything! All of our human-alien relationships down the drain! I miss Alex even though I'm too proud to tell him. I can NEVER be with Michael! Eww, going out with him would be like going out with Max! How could Max be with Tess? He loves Liz and even though she won't admit it, she loves him too. I don't care how much she protests, she loves him. I'm just sick and tired of watching their puppy dog lovesick pining stares at each other! I am sick of listening to the Counting Crows! I'm sick of Destiny! I'm sick of Tess! I'm sick of listening to Michael and Maria bicker, even though if there wasn't this stupid metal book with pictures of Michael and I together, they still would bicker!"
Um, where's the cedar oil when you need it? I take it back, she doesn't belong in the wack-job-loop-dee-loop-no-marbles-left-empty-head-no-the- brightest-crayon-in-the-box-a-few-cans-short-of-a-six-pack section, there IS no section for this person or thing.
"Well, that was interesting…but look at the time! My next client is due any minute now. It was a pleasure meeting you Miss Evans and I will see you soon."
With a nod, she walked out just as confidently as she walked in. Then she turned around, "Oh, and one more thing, if you tell ANYONE about us being aliens, I know how to send you nightmares, my brother can set off any alarm, Tess, argh I hate that girl, can mindwarp you and Michael, who has killed a FBI agent can melt locks and give nasty rashes."
Gulp.