A/N: Movie fic but set during the third book. Quick little un-beta'd story...piece…thing set a few days before Arrers' coronation and wedding. Perhaps explains why Legolas is so goddamn serious all the time in the movie. Might write a sequel, I don't know really. It'd probably be even more angsty that this. Little too obsessed with the angst…
The Solitude of the Forgotten
by Stupidclone
Legolas came quietly into the dimly-lit chamber. It was the standard guest chamber of a lesser lord; woven hangings covered the walls, a carved bed stood in the middle of the room and a small desk for business was tucked into the corner. Aragorn had chosen it over some grander dwelling for the scarce time that remained before he was officially crowned king and married the Evenstar. There was word that the fair folk were but two days ride from the city. Legolas supposed he liked it for the slight anonymity and peace it provided him, for when he ruled the kingdom of Gondor these small gifts would be rare.
Aragorn was here now, sitting in front of the small fireplace watching the flames licking at the dry wood, flames and shadows dancing across his troubled face. If he knew the elf was there he gave no sign, but continued to stare into the depths of the blaze before him.
Legolas came forward and knelt next to him on the ground, placing a lean hand on his shoulder. "The feasting continues in the Hall, Aragorn. Why do you not join the lords?"
Aragorn at last looked towards him, his face in shadow. "We had a hard victory. It is difficult for me to forget all that we have sacrificed to be here and merrily feast," he paused. "That weighs heavily on my mind. Not only the loss of so many lives grieves me, for I know that they died for a brave and true cause. Rather it is what might have passed did I not have my duties to lead Gondor. In but two nights I become King, and those things that might have passed will be forbidden. I wonder what I will come to regret, and what shall come to pass because of my inaction."
Despite the cryptic words, Aragorn's look showed Legolas exactly what he meant. He broke Aragorn's gaze and stared into the dark corner of the room, as if his silence would deny the words spoken.
"Did you think I was so uncaring a friend that I would not notice anything in the long years we spent together?" Aragorn asked softly. "I have seen the want in your gaze, the pain when your eyes chanced upon the token of Arwen around my neck."
Legolas still did not meet his eyes. "It is best that we do not speak of these matters, for nothing can come of it, certainly nothing good."
"Why did you seek to hide this from me for so long? You know I would have understood."
"Understood, perhaps, but that would not have stopped you looking at me with pity in your gaze, and that I could not stand. Even now I see it in your eyes," he said bitterly.
"You are mistaken Legolas, for I have known for a long time and my gaze does not change, though perhaps it saddens as all chance fades now that I will be wedded. Many feelings you entice in me Legolas, but pity is not one of them." He hesitated now, not sure if he should continue. "To be pitied your desire would have to be one-sided, and that is not the case." Aragorn continued on, ignoring the sharp rise of the elf's head, "I honor you, respect you, would die for you. But even amongst these most brotherly of feelings I confess that there is something else, feelings I have never voiced, for I love the Evenstar as much as thee and could not hurt her…and yet each love is just as strong."
At this Legolas gave a bitter laugh. It pierced Aragorn to the core, for he had never seen such an emotion in the pure elf. "This you should not have told me Aragorn, for now my grief is even the stronger, knowing that my love is returned yet unable to be."
"Do not turn to anger in this, for it is the way things must me. You are young, you will find another in due course, one who is able to love you as is your right."
"Do not seek to patronize me in comfort, Aragorn!" Legolas spoke, his voice rising. "This is not a passing fancy I have for you. Passing fancies do not last for decades, they do not wrack your entire being with pain. You know as well as I how many times in a lifetime elves find the one they truly love!" his voiced almost cracked on the last word, plain despair coming into it.
Aragorn reached for him, and when he did not flinch away he drew him into an embrace and whispered softly into his ear. "I know. Now I say truly, I love thee back with all of my soul; but it cannot be…you know this."
"I know it. I have always known it."
Legolas shook in his arms and he held him tightly until he stilled for the moment. "Anything that is mine to give I would give you, but this I cannot grant."
"Eternity you cannot grant me…but, will you stay with me this one night, so when we part I may remember the one moment where my love was returned." He choked out the words, disgusted at his own begging, that he would ask something like this, a betrayal of Aragorn and Arwen and himself.
"You do not know how much I myself wish this," Aragorn spoke, "but after this night I will have Arwen and my love for her and that will console me some from your loss, I do not deny. You shall be alone, with only memories. Will they console you or will they only grieve you further?" Blissful memories perhaps it would bring Legolas, or perhaps it would drive him mad in longing, or take his life entirely.
"I know what might happen, Aragorn, but for this one night I would gladly give my life."
Aragorn's eyes downcast at this statement, and Legolas saw a tear trace a lonely path down his face. "Do not say such things!"
Legolas smiled sadly. "Ah, but you know them to be true."
The man's hand came up to Legolas' face and stroked it softly. "I must be a vile creature indeed to cause such pain to one so pure. If it is what you wish we will share in each other this night, and I will thank the Valar to be able to touch your beauty." Aragorn leaned toward the elf and brought their lips together softly, hand entwined in the soft hair at the base of his neck. For all the desire and need they had concealed for so long, there was not panting desire but tenderness in its steed, as if they were old lovers meeting for the last time.
That night Legolas tried to forget that soon they would be parted and lost himself in tracing every curve of his body, committing every inch to his memory. He smiled at Aragorn's laugh when his hands skimmed over a ticklish spot. In one night he learned more than other do in months, the spot behind Aragorn's knee that made him squirm with laughter, the one on his neck that made him squirm with need
He closed his eyes and smiled when Aragorn moved over his body in return, trying to incite from him the same response from feather touches. When Legolas did not oblige but chuckled softly under his breath at his frustration he gave up this game and took Legolas deep into his mouth; laughing in turn at the elf's keening cry and arched back. With one hand he covered one of the elf's that was clutching at the silken sheets and with the other he stroked his smooth belly softly, comforting his trashing. Legolas came swiftly, clutching at his hand.
Aragorn pulled himself up the limp body of the elf, smiling at his hair in such rare disarray, the slightly shocked expression on his flushed face. Legolas looked at him with a mock disapproving expression on his face. "You do not play fair, Dunadan."
"Just as well, because neither do you." He laughed. The elf smiled so endearingly at him it broke his heart. Here was some of the joy he remembered from long ago, before the elf had become so serious and sad. His pale hands stroked over his light beard and he pressed their cheeks together, Legolas nuzzling into his hair with a sigh.
Aragorn gasped when he felt Legolas' hand suddenly upon his forgotten need. "Come, my Dunadan, join with me now and take your pleasure."
At Legolas' words he remembered for the first time that Legolas would never have been in anyone's bed before this night. Most elves bedded only one person, the one they were betrothed too, and so sealed their union for eternity. For a moment sadness and regret filled him, for taking Legolas' purity not for a union that would last but only one short night, and for the life they might have had together. At a questioning sound from Legolas he put these thoughts aside. He would not sadden their only moments together.
"Very well, my impatient Elf." He laughed, pressing a kiss on the side of the fair mouth. "But wait a moment, I will not have you hurt." He separated himself from his entanglement with Legolas and padded quickly over to the washroom joining the chamber, picking out a bottle of some uselessly scented bath-oil provided for a lord. Coming back into the chamber he paused at the sight of Legolas sprawled on the dark sheets. His head was rested on his outstretched arm, pale golden hair flowing onto the sheets. In the partial gloom his sleek body glowed with a faint light, and Aragorn thought it perhaps the most beautiful thing he would ever chance to see.
Seeing his stupor Legolas rose and came to him, taking his hand and leading him back to the warm bed. He came out of his daze as Legolas lay down on top of him and pressed their bodies together. Their lengths grazed one another and he found Legolas hard again. Legolas' hand met his length and he found it covered with the oil, coating him gently. When he was done Aragorn lay atop the elf and raised his legs to curl around him, bringing their bodies into such sweet contact.
Aragorn pushed into him slowly and Legolas cried out. The heat and the tightness nearly drove Aragorn mad but he went no further. "Are you alright?" he asked into the delicate elven ear.
Legolas replied with a gasped string of elvish and pulled Aragorn deeper into him, need so long repressed coming through. Their mouths met and together joined they rocked against. Legolas pressed himself into Aragorn and as he moved within him Legolas wished they could be joined like this forever. Aragorn kissed him deeply before pressing him mouth into his neck and stiffening, cry muffled and he spilled his seed within him. Legolas brought his hand down to bring his own release but Aragorn stopped him.
"I don't think so, elf. The deal was we share each other, and I do not think you have shared in me yet" he spoke with a small smile, voice calm despite the exertion of moments before. Before he could think Legolas found himself atop the man. Aragorn found his hand and brought them both to the elf's hardness, guiding him down to the entrance of his body. As he entered the man's body he gasped at the pleasure of it all, wondering how much more he could take. The movements came to him naturally, setting up a smooth rhythm against the body beneath him. He looked at Aragorn writhing under him, head thrown back and arms holding Legolas close to him.
As Aragorn raised his head their eyes met, and Legolas saw the tear-streaks running down his face, the pain and apology written there. The façade of happiness crumbled around him and he could not bear to look upon Aragorn but buried his face in his chest, hot tears spilling from his own eyes even as Aragorn came, tightening around him. Pain blazed along with the pleasure of it and a sob ripped from his throat as he spilled inside the body of his beloved.
He tried to rise to run from the shame of this grief from his forbidden love but Aragorn pulled him down and held him and their tears spilled upon each others shaking bodies as Legolas allowed himself for the first time to release the pain of his grief. Over and over Aragorn whispered brokenly his useless words of apology until the elf became the comforter, stroking his shaking back and whispering back nonsense comforting elvish until he stilled into a deep unknowing sleep.
Legolas had stilled as well, and now he lay awake beside Aragorn watching him in the soft moonlight. The grief was still within him but it had stilled for a little while with this release and he felt a slice of piece for the first time in many years. After the wedding he would leave this place. Aragorn, he knew now, did love him as much as he claim and it would cause them both too much pain to remain here with each other yet unable to recognize their love.
As he lay in Aragorn's arms soft sunlight started to flow into the room, too dim yet to be detected by non-elvish eyes. Men would be up soon, and better they not see him come out of Aragorn's room at such a time. He kissed his lips softly and rose from the bed, dressing quietly as to not wake him. As he slipped through the door he spared a last glance at Aragorn, illuminated in the soft light. "Namar, Estellen," he whispered, but there was no response from the man lying in sleep. The door closed softly behind Legolas.
Though the his parting would pain Aragorn, he would have Arwen there to comfort him, and eventually the man would forget him. But as for him, alone with his grief, who know what the future would hold.
End.