A/N: Rejoice ye faithful for I have retained my internet! Hehe, things are joyous. More importantly, though, I finally finished the wonderful chapter of 18. And goodness, is it long. Not only that, but two (maybe even three) humungoid events happen in it. Yes, that's right, events so big I had to invent the word "humungoid" to describe them. :) Anyhoozle, enjoy...
*******
If she had been in any less of a mental and emotional fog, she probably would have avoided her current destination. The cabin did, afterall, afford one too many bittersweet memories of Logan and Zack, the two people she'd held most dear and who would now be forever absent from her life. The fog was thick, though, and the cabin was convenient and would only be temporary. So what the hell?
She roared up to the side of the porch just as the first rays of sunlight were beginning to streak across the sky and hoisted her bike up the steps, leaning it against the side of the house. She'd be damned if someone was going to steal her most prized possession; she'd be bringing it inside with her. Sure, the place was fairly secluded, but one can never be too careful.
She managed to pick the lock in a matter of seconds and pushed the door open without caution, sending a blur to some far corner of the room. She started; a blanket lay haphazardly over the couch, a pillow had fallen to the floor, and a glass half-full of Logan's pre-Pulse wine sat upon the coffee table. Emotional turmoil shifted to the background, her blood running cold, her enhanced senses straining to pick up the slightest hint of another's presence. She kicked the door shut (can't leave the intruder such an easy escape, now can we?) and slowly advanced, scrutinizing every detail of the room and matching it as best she could to her memory until finally she picked up a slight inconsistency toward the back. All was silent for a brief moment as she crept toward it, but the peace was broken when an unknown leapt from his hiding place and flew forward into her stomach, taking her to the floor.
*******
He'd tortured plenty in the infamous chair but had never thought he might one day be strapped into it. Now, that unrealized possibility was his reality, and he felt, for the first time, some sense of guilt over having ever subjected someone to the pain he now felt.
He forgot a number of times that his eye was being held open and nearly tore a hole in his eyelid. His jaw, meanwhile, felt as though it might break and the restraints, which were tightened periodically, threatened to turn his entire body numb from lack of circulation and felt as though they were rubbing the skin off of him. Still, he wouldn't talk. He'd never talk. Instead, he recalled his own lessons on selective memory loss and focused desperately on employing them.
It wasn't working.
Something would be gone and then a fresh bolt of pain would send it popping back into his mind again. It was nearly impossible to concentrate on such a task when enduring such torment, and he supposed he should have done it while still in his cell. It was too late now, though. It was too late to remedy all of the awful, rotten, careless mistakes he'd made the past few weeks...scratch that, the past decade. It was too late, beyond salvaging himself, beyond ever being anything but a failure...
Somewhere off in the distance he heard Renfro tell the medical technician to cease operations for a moment, and he breathed deeply in relief at the laser's disappearance and the blessed silence accompanying the machine's inactivity. He managed to grin in both defiance and disgust when the blurry and barely recognizable face of the director moved into position above him.
"C'mon, Deck," she coaxed. "I know you know where at least one of them is, I know you want this to stop, and I know that if we send you back out there you'll have no place to go but the streets and the run-down, pathetic excuses for shelters."
The grin faded. Lydecker knew what she was suggesting and he knew that he shouldn't, but he was quickly coming to find it a quite enjoyable outcome to these proceedings. He gulped nervously when he realized she had begun to smile.
"Yes, Deck. You'd like that, wouldn't you? To have your old job back? To have secure quarters on the premises? Food, warmth, money..."
Oh, what a terribly tempting offer. It would be so easy to give in...but he knew better than that. She'd never keep such a promise, not if her life depended on it. She wanted him dead and he knew he wasn't going to come out of this alive unless he was able to escape. Keeping his mouth shut for the time being would bide him some time; all he really had to do was hold out until Logan aired his broadcast. IF he aired his broadcast. That was the operative word, wasn't it? If. Thousands of "what ifs" began to traipse through his mind, driving him into a slow, deliberate state of panic. What if Logan didn't go through with it? What if this was Eyes Only's way of getting rid of a possible threat? What if it was all a colossal set-up?
He heard Renfro sigh heavily in aggravation then order the machine be turned back on, with heightened intensity. The tech warned that he wasn't sure Lydecker could handle it, that this might kill him, but Renfro gruffly replied that she didn't care and that should such be the outcome, so be it. How horribly a familiar conversation...
~'Your concerns are noted. Proceed.'
-'Just give me a day or two to stabilize his condition.'
-'Maybe you don't understand what's at stake. He knows where the X-5s are. He's got it locked in his brain, but I'm gonna get it out.'
-'You're not gonna get anything if he's dead.'
-'I'll take that risk.' ~
But it hadn't worked, had it? Zack had escaped because of another stupid mistake. Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes. Everything from the conception of Manticore had been a mistake, and now he was fairly certain that getting involved with Logan had been one, as well.
He gritted his teeth and shook violently as the tech injected him with the serum, turned on the laser and sent torment coursing through him once again. His mind and loyalties wavered, and for a moment he could think only of the safety of his kids but then it was all about what was best for himself, as it had always been and he knew it would always be. Logan had been right when he'd expressed that alliances were easily broken; theirs was crumbling right now.
"Alaaaaargh," he mumbled, the only semblance of a word he could manage in his current position.
"Madame, I think he's trying to say something," the tech observed. Lydecker didn't hear any reply from Renfro, but relief quickly replaced the pain so he figured she had gestured to him in some way. The rubber gag was slipped from his mouth and once again his line of sight was filled with the blurry and unpleasant image of Renfro.
"Is there something you want to tell me, Deck?" she prodded in that sinister and yet sugary sweet way of hers.
"Ye...yeah, I..." he tried. He moved his jaw around a bit, getting accustomed to the feel of using it again.
"I couldn't hear you, colonel. What was that?"
He opened his mouth to speak but for a moment said nothing as the new but already painfully familiar emotion bubbled up inside of him, the one that had become all too commonplace in the last few days. It was there begging him to stop this, begging him to forsake himself in the name of Logan and the others. The nagging guilt, the annoying little angel on his shoulder. Well, screw that angel. He wanted out of this, and he wanted out of it NOW.
"I...I..." he mumbled, shaking his head slightly as if to ward off his conscience. "I...I can give you Eyes Only."
*******
The element of surprise allowed her attacker the upper hand, and she struggled to gather herself and finally push him off of her. She flipped onto her feet then turned quickly sideways, her hair swinging into her face and blocking her view as she kicked toward him, just barely making contact with his chest. He grabbed her ankle and twisted it the wrong way, eliciting a cry of pain from deep within, then pushed her away from him, causing her nearly to trip over her own feet. He was quickly against her back and she moved to elbow him in the gut but he anticipated it and trapped her arm behind her as his own came up to wrap around her throat. She clawed his flesh with her free hand, momentarily lost in panic and unable to accurately analyze the situation; why was he so strong? As yet she hadn't caught even a glimpse of anything above his shoulders...was he another X-5? A Red, even?
"It's not gonna work. You couldn't fool me before, and you certainly aren't gonna start today," he cried suddenly, his voice thick with emotion. "She's DEAD. I know it, you pounded it into my skull! So why did you think I'd fall for this, huh? How stupid do you think I am?" His arm tightened around her neck and something about this was so familiar she thought she might have finally snapped. But whatever it was she thought the voice and actions reminded her of, whatever mental state into which she thought she might be falling, it wasn't nearly as important as the fact that red splotches were starting to interrupt her vision and her lungs were begging for an increase in oxygen intake. She lifted her trapped arm then thrust it downward as quickly as she could, breaking it free and pulling it out in front of her. His arm became captive to her firm grip, her right leg slid back to rest just against the back of his, and in one quick motion she spun on her toes and bowed into his arm, sending him backward to the floor. She dropped beside him, her knee landing precariously under his chin as she moved into the position of control.
Brown eyes locked with blue at that moment, and fear permeated the senses of both of them. Max pulled away rapidly, backing up until she ran into the couch, her eyes so pained and afraid that it made him ache. Slight tremors swept through her body as she pulled her legs to her chest and pretended this wasn't happening.
"No...you're dead."
They said it at the same time, each realizing even as the words slipped past their lips that it wasn't so, that they must have been lied to. The bitch had lied...and they should have expected that but apparently shock and emotion had gotten in the way of logic.
He began to move toward her, cautiously, as if he were sneaking up on a timid cat. He chuckled inwardly when it occurred to him just how true that analogy actually was. She, on the other hand, kept trying to back away, pushing against the couch with such force that it moved backward about half a foot. When he reached forward to touch her face, to see if she were real, she closed her eyes and tried to pull away, afraid that this was a cruel dream and any attempted physical contact would wake her from it. But his fingertips lightly dragged down her cheek anyway, and he actually smiled for the first time since...since...well, it had been a long time, that was for sure.
"It's...it's really you, isn't it Maxie?" he whispered. Bravely, she turned her head and looked at him, nodding as they both began to cry. Then they were embracing, tightly enough to injure a normal person, and pain soon melted into a sorrowful sort of joy.
"Zack," she gasped through her tears, "oh my god, Zack." He buried his face in her curls, and all she could think as they held each other was that she'd never seen her big brother display his emotions so openly before.
*******
"What is his connection to the X-5s?" Renfro inquired. He feigned ignorance and ate the back of a guard's hand as punishment. "He always seems to show up when he have problems with them, Deck. And he always interferes when we're about to bring them in. I know that can't possibly be just a coincidence but what I don't know are the specifics of his individual relationships with them. I need those specifics, Deck. I can use them. And perhaps you weren't aware of it when you so generously offered to turn in your former ally, but the way this goes is that the more information you give me, the longer I let you live." To illustrate her point, the same guard who'd slapped him cocked his pistol and held it to Lydecker's temple. "So I'll ask you again...what is this 'Logan Cale's' connection to the rogue X-5s?"
//Be smart about this// his inner voice instructed. But who was he kidding? He'd already damned himself by identifying Eyes Only...at this point, as Renfro had explained, it was either give her all she wanted or die. Sure, he realized that he'd probably die regardless, but the whole point of this had been to extend his life span in the event that Logan didn't come through on his end of the mission and give himself some time to devise a plan of escape. So far, that was working nicely, and he wasn't about to let his newfound conscience get in the way.
"He and Max...er...X5-452; they were good friends, and I'm fairly certain it was beginning to develop into something more."
Renfro smiled as a multitude of new ideas began flowing through her mind. "And they were aware of each other's true identities?" she pried, her smile widening and her mind squealing with joy when he nodded. "You have NO idea how much I appreciate this, Deck." Then, to the guards, "take him back to his cell. He may still be of use to me."
//And the extension stands// he thought to himself as he was pushed and dragged through the corridors. Despite his best efforts, though, the pesky demon of remorse was beginning to gnaw at him again. Logan had trusted him. Well, perhaps "trusted" was going a little too far. But this betrayal was still a deep and possibly dangerous one should he ever manage to break out of this veritable prison, and beyond that, something inside of him knew that it was wrong. Eyes Only had never done anything but try and protect the rogues. He'd never done anything but try and protect Max. He didn't deserve what was sure to be coming to him...but oh well. It was too late now, and to comfort himself he dwelled on the fact that at least he hadn't given away the location of one of his kids.
Or so was his personal thought. Renfro had another, and the plan had already formulated itself by the time she'd reached her office. X5-452 was in league with Eyes Only. Moreover, the two of them had built a strong relationship and supposedly cared a great deal for one another. She could have gone to him upon her escape, but Renfro was willing to bet that her little golden girl now considered herself a threat to his safety and had left him behind. Either way...
"Um...excuse me, ma'am," a timid young guard suddenly called meekly from the doorway. She turned to him and nodded, a signal that it was all right for him to speak. "Should a team of soldiers be deployed now?"
"No, no. Not yet," replied she.
"But...with all due respect, ma'am, we've only a day before Eyes Only exposes the operation."
"I know," she said pointedly as she basked in the self-described brilliance of her plan, "and we're going to use that against him."
*******
If she had been in any less of a mental and emotional fog, she probably would have avoided her current destination. The cabin did, afterall, afford one too many bittersweet memories of Logan and Zack, the two people she'd held most dear and who would now be forever absent from her life. The fog was thick, though, and the cabin was convenient and would only be temporary. So what the hell?
She roared up to the side of the porch just as the first rays of sunlight were beginning to streak across the sky and hoisted her bike up the steps, leaning it against the side of the house. She'd be damned if someone was going to steal her most prized possession; she'd be bringing it inside with her. Sure, the place was fairly secluded, but one can never be too careful.
She managed to pick the lock in a matter of seconds and pushed the door open without caution, sending a blur to some far corner of the room. She started; a blanket lay haphazardly over the couch, a pillow had fallen to the floor, and a glass half-full of Logan's pre-Pulse wine sat upon the coffee table. Emotional turmoil shifted to the background, her blood running cold, her enhanced senses straining to pick up the slightest hint of another's presence. She kicked the door shut (can't leave the intruder such an easy escape, now can we?) and slowly advanced, scrutinizing every detail of the room and matching it as best she could to her memory until finally she picked up a slight inconsistency toward the back. All was silent for a brief moment as she crept toward it, but the peace was broken when an unknown leapt from his hiding place and flew forward into her stomach, taking her to the floor.
*******
He'd tortured plenty in the infamous chair but had never thought he might one day be strapped into it. Now, that unrealized possibility was his reality, and he felt, for the first time, some sense of guilt over having ever subjected someone to the pain he now felt.
He forgot a number of times that his eye was being held open and nearly tore a hole in his eyelid. His jaw, meanwhile, felt as though it might break and the restraints, which were tightened periodically, threatened to turn his entire body numb from lack of circulation and felt as though they were rubbing the skin off of him. Still, he wouldn't talk. He'd never talk. Instead, he recalled his own lessons on selective memory loss and focused desperately on employing them.
It wasn't working.
Something would be gone and then a fresh bolt of pain would send it popping back into his mind again. It was nearly impossible to concentrate on such a task when enduring such torment, and he supposed he should have done it while still in his cell. It was too late now, though. It was too late to remedy all of the awful, rotten, careless mistakes he'd made the past few weeks...scratch that, the past decade. It was too late, beyond salvaging himself, beyond ever being anything but a failure...
Somewhere off in the distance he heard Renfro tell the medical technician to cease operations for a moment, and he breathed deeply in relief at the laser's disappearance and the blessed silence accompanying the machine's inactivity. He managed to grin in both defiance and disgust when the blurry and barely recognizable face of the director moved into position above him.
"C'mon, Deck," she coaxed. "I know you know where at least one of them is, I know you want this to stop, and I know that if we send you back out there you'll have no place to go but the streets and the run-down, pathetic excuses for shelters."
The grin faded. Lydecker knew what she was suggesting and he knew that he shouldn't, but he was quickly coming to find it a quite enjoyable outcome to these proceedings. He gulped nervously when he realized she had begun to smile.
"Yes, Deck. You'd like that, wouldn't you? To have your old job back? To have secure quarters on the premises? Food, warmth, money..."
Oh, what a terribly tempting offer. It would be so easy to give in...but he knew better than that. She'd never keep such a promise, not if her life depended on it. She wanted him dead and he knew he wasn't going to come out of this alive unless he was able to escape. Keeping his mouth shut for the time being would bide him some time; all he really had to do was hold out until Logan aired his broadcast. IF he aired his broadcast. That was the operative word, wasn't it? If. Thousands of "what ifs" began to traipse through his mind, driving him into a slow, deliberate state of panic. What if Logan didn't go through with it? What if this was Eyes Only's way of getting rid of a possible threat? What if it was all a colossal set-up?
He heard Renfro sigh heavily in aggravation then order the machine be turned back on, with heightened intensity. The tech warned that he wasn't sure Lydecker could handle it, that this might kill him, but Renfro gruffly replied that she didn't care and that should such be the outcome, so be it. How horribly a familiar conversation...
~'Your concerns are noted. Proceed.'
-'Just give me a day or two to stabilize his condition.'
-'Maybe you don't understand what's at stake. He knows where the X-5s are. He's got it locked in his brain, but I'm gonna get it out.'
-'You're not gonna get anything if he's dead.'
-'I'll take that risk.' ~
But it hadn't worked, had it? Zack had escaped because of another stupid mistake. Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes. Everything from the conception of Manticore had been a mistake, and now he was fairly certain that getting involved with Logan had been one, as well.
He gritted his teeth and shook violently as the tech injected him with the serum, turned on the laser and sent torment coursing through him once again. His mind and loyalties wavered, and for a moment he could think only of the safety of his kids but then it was all about what was best for himself, as it had always been and he knew it would always be. Logan had been right when he'd expressed that alliances were easily broken; theirs was crumbling right now.
"Alaaaaargh," he mumbled, the only semblance of a word he could manage in his current position.
"Madame, I think he's trying to say something," the tech observed. Lydecker didn't hear any reply from Renfro, but relief quickly replaced the pain so he figured she had gestured to him in some way. The rubber gag was slipped from his mouth and once again his line of sight was filled with the blurry and unpleasant image of Renfro.
"Is there something you want to tell me, Deck?" she prodded in that sinister and yet sugary sweet way of hers.
"Ye...yeah, I..." he tried. He moved his jaw around a bit, getting accustomed to the feel of using it again.
"I couldn't hear you, colonel. What was that?"
He opened his mouth to speak but for a moment said nothing as the new but already painfully familiar emotion bubbled up inside of him, the one that had become all too commonplace in the last few days. It was there begging him to stop this, begging him to forsake himself in the name of Logan and the others. The nagging guilt, the annoying little angel on his shoulder. Well, screw that angel. He wanted out of this, and he wanted out of it NOW.
"I...I..." he mumbled, shaking his head slightly as if to ward off his conscience. "I...I can give you Eyes Only."
*******
The element of surprise allowed her attacker the upper hand, and she struggled to gather herself and finally push him off of her. She flipped onto her feet then turned quickly sideways, her hair swinging into her face and blocking her view as she kicked toward him, just barely making contact with his chest. He grabbed her ankle and twisted it the wrong way, eliciting a cry of pain from deep within, then pushed her away from him, causing her nearly to trip over her own feet. He was quickly against her back and she moved to elbow him in the gut but he anticipated it and trapped her arm behind her as his own came up to wrap around her throat. She clawed his flesh with her free hand, momentarily lost in panic and unable to accurately analyze the situation; why was he so strong? As yet she hadn't caught even a glimpse of anything above his shoulders...was he another X-5? A Red, even?
"It's not gonna work. You couldn't fool me before, and you certainly aren't gonna start today," he cried suddenly, his voice thick with emotion. "She's DEAD. I know it, you pounded it into my skull! So why did you think I'd fall for this, huh? How stupid do you think I am?" His arm tightened around her neck and something about this was so familiar she thought she might have finally snapped. But whatever it was she thought the voice and actions reminded her of, whatever mental state into which she thought she might be falling, it wasn't nearly as important as the fact that red splotches were starting to interrupt her vision and her lungs were begging for an increase in oxygen intake. She lifted her trapped arm then thrust it downward as quickly as she could, breaking it free and pulling it out in front of her. His arm became captive to her firm grip, her right leg slid back to rest just against the back of his, and in one quick motion she spun on her toes and bowed into his arm, sending him backward to the floor. She dropped beside him, her knee landing precariously under his chin as she moved into the position of control.
Brown eyes locked with blue at that moment, and fear permeated the senses of both of them. Max pulled away rapidly, backing up until she ran into the couch, her eyes so pained and afraid that it made him ache. Slight tremors swept through her body as she pulled her legs to her chest and pretended this wasn't happening.
"No...you're dead."
They said it at the same time, each realizing even as the words slipped past their lips that it wasn't so, that they must have been lied to. The bitch had lied...and they should have expected that but apparently shock and emotion had gotten in the way of logic.
He began to move toward her, cautiously, as if he were sneaking up on a timid cat. He chuckled inwardly when it occurred to him just how true that analogy actually was. She, on the other hand, kept trying to back away, pushing against the couch with such force that it moved backward about half a foot. When he reached forward to touch her face, to see if she were real, she closed her eyes and tried to pull away, afraid that this was a cruel dream and any attempted physical contact would wake her from it. But his fingertips lightly dragged down her cheek anyway, and he actually smiled for the first time since...since...well, it had been a long time, that was for sure.
"It's...it's really you, isn't it Maxie?" he whispered. Bravely, she turned her head and looked at him, nodding as they both began to cry. Then they were embracing, tightly enough to injure a normal person, and pain soon melted into a sorrowful sort of joy.
"Zack," she gasped through her tears, "oh my god, Zack." He buried his face in her curls, and all she could think as they held each other was that she'd never seen her big brother display his emotions so openly before.
*******
"What is his connection to the X-5s?" Renfro inquired. He feigned ignorance and ate the back of a guard's hand as punishment. "He always seems to show up when he have problems with them, Deck. And he always interferes when we're about to bring them in. I know that can't possibly be just a coincidence but what I don't know are the specifics of his individual relationships with them. I need those specifics, Deck. I can use them. And perhaps you weren't aware of it when you so generously offered to turn in your former ally, but the way this goes is that the more information you give me, the longer I let you live." To illustrate her point, the same guard who'd slapped him cocked his pistol and held it to Lydecker's temple. "So I'll ask you again...what is this 'Logan Cale's' connection to the rogue X-5s?"
//Be smart about this// his inner voice instructed. But who was he kidding? He'd already damned himself by identifying Eyes Only...at this point, as Renfro had explained, it was either give her all she wanted or die. Sure, he realized that he'd probably die regardless, but the whole point of this had been to extend his life span in the event that Logan didn't come through on his end of the mission and give himself some time to devise a plan of escape. So far, that was working nicely, and he wasn't about to let his newfound conscience get in the way.
"He and Max...er...X5-452; they were good friends, and I'm fairly certain it was beginning to develop into something more."
Renfro smiled as a multitude of new ideas began flowing through her mind. "And they were aware of each other's true identities?" she pried, her smile widening and her mind squealing with joy when he nodded. "You have NO idea how much I appreciate this, Deck." Then, to the guards, "take him back to his cell. He may still be of use to me."
//And the extension stands// he thought to himself as he was pushed and dragged through the corridors. Despite his best efforts, though, the pesky demon of remorse was beginning to gnaw at him again. Logan had trusted him. Well, perhaps "trusted" was going a little too far. But this betrayal was still a deep and possibly dangerous one should he ever manage to break out of this veritable prison, and beyond that, something inside of him knew that it was wrong. Eyes Only had never done anything but try and protect the rogues. He'd never done anything but try and protect Max. He didn't deserve what was sure to be coming to him...but oh well. It was too late now, and to comfort himself he dwelled on the fact that at least he hadn't given away the location of one of his kids.
Or so was his personal thought. Renfro had another, and the plan had already formulated itself by the time she'd reached her office. X5-452 was in league with Eyes Only. Moreover, the two of them had built a strong relationship and supposedly cared a great deal for one another. She could have gone to him upon her escape, but Renfro was willing to bet that her little golden girl now considered herself a threat to his safety and had left him behind. Either way...
"Um...excuse me, ma'am," a timid young guard suddenly called meekly from the doorway. She turned to him and nodded, a signal that it was all right for him to speak. "Should a team of soldiers be deployed now?"
"No, no. Not yet," replied she.
"But...with all due respect, ma'am, we've only a day before Eyes Only exposes the operation."
"I know," she said pointedly as she basked in the self-described brilliance of her plan, "and we're going to use that against him."