A/N: I'm sorry it's been taking so long, if anyone even still cares. I am among those that are very disappointed and that have been losing faith in the show. It's getting to the point where, as far as I'm concerned, DA went out after the first season. What goes by the name of DA now is a piss-ass wannabe knock-off. YAY. Happiness.
But I AM gonna finish this, I promise. I'm still very into this story and I'm anxious to get it done...I'm just having some motivational issues at the moment, heh. Oh, and for Alec fans, don't worry, I consider him a bright spot in S2 and he WILL be popping up for a cameo in a few chapters. Wee...
*******
It wasn't long before Zack gave up trying to keep track of all the traffic laws Max was breaking at the moment. Though he admitted that he giddily accepted the occasional daredevil stunt and risked his precious skin for a quick adrenaline rush, he couldn't remember ever having gone this fast and it actually unnerved him a bit. He peered over her should at the speedometer - 180, 185, 190, 195, nausea sweeping over him. //God, she's gonna kill us.//
Needless to say, they reached Seattle in record time, and despite the misgivings he'd had during the ride, this pleased him immensely. He owed it to her to allow this mission, and the unfamiliar pangs of guilt that had been flowing through him since their argument convinced him that he'd feel better afterward. He still wanted to finish up and get out of here as quickly as possible, though, even as it occurred to him that she very well may not be coming with him this time.
He protested the move, but she thought it best to enter Logan's apartment through the front door to avoid any traps that might have been laid and to arrive at better condition to confront whatever unwanted visitors they might come across. Norm soldiers were so predictable; they'd never expect an X-5 to act human and make a discrete and common entrance. He could hear the crunch of eggshells so he bent to her and they boarded the elevator, with all pretense of normalcy.
The foyer seemed quiet enough; relief washed over her but an edge remained all the same. Paranoia dictated that the shadows and silence not be trusted, and at the moment overt caution was everything. She moved as she had at the cabin, slow but painfully alert, and she started when the fall of her footstep was met with a sharp crunch. She looked toward her feet to take in the shards of glass and then up to note the shattered skylight, breaths staggering as her heart and stomach lodged themselves in her throat.
"Oh god...LOGAN!" she cried, the panic overwhelming and forcing her to rush unbounded through the penthouse. Zack followed slowly, still unsure whether they should be doing this and suddenly feeling such anxiety over Logan's apparent absence that he frightened himself and briefly considered quietly slipping out. But he could never do that to Max, even if she was so deeply wrong that she'd likely drown him. Even then, it was rare that he was able to refuse her when she needed his help, and this was not one of those occasions.
She, meanwhile, had come to the great Eyes Only's room, a gasp escaping her lips. On the floor in pieces lay the exoskeleton, almost like a calling card, and among that as well as on the bed and all over the floor lay fragments of what remained of the window. She wanted to collapse; the Earth had gone of its axis, rolling erratically as flames engulfed her and guilty sobs threatened to break free. She had to lean momentarily on the edge of the bed so that she might collect herself, and all emotion was pushed down and held back. Pushed down, but certainly not forgotten, always screaming to break free. It was difficult to ignore but somehow she managed to calmly search the room for any concrete evidence. There was none, but as she neared the window something down below in the alley caught her eye. She leaned out and her pupils dilated, bringing every detail into sharp clarity...there, folded and tucked against the wall, was Logan's wheelchair.
Zack happened to summon the strength to enter the room just as Max saw this, just as the pain and anger erupted.
"GOD! Those bastards...motherfucking..." As she noted her brother's presence, she saw him only as an ally with which to share her anger and moved swiftly toward him, steaming and rambling. "They're gonna pay, Zack. I swear, ya don't MESS with my people...I'm gonna kick their asses. No, I'm gonna KILL them...they'll BURN before they get away with this..." She moved past him and tried to rush out in her rage, but he grabbed her arm and held her fast; this was anything but an intelligent way to proceed.
"Are you crazy?" he demanded of her. "Don't tell me that now you wanna take on Manticore for him. Without any back up or weapons or surveillance, without precaution. Dammit, we couldn't even take it with all of that on our side." As usual, his intense gaze was meant to intimidate, and as usual she met it with the headstrong defiance for which she was known.
"I never said I wanted to do that. I'm not THAT stupid; gimme some credit," she spat. "But I gotta do something. I gotta try. I mean, they may not even be there yet. We could intercept them."
He sighed and lowered his head, but for once he felt no anger - only sympathy. She was as blinded when it came to Logan and her friends as he was when it came to her; neither was the better for it, and he was beginning to understand. When he spoke again, it was more softly, in a tone to which he figured she'd be far more likely to listen.
"Max...they busted in at 12:30 this afternoon. That's over five hours ago. Even if they're not there yet, they will be before we can get to them." He felt a strange urge to pull her to him as a gesture of comfort, but reddened with shame and averted his eyes before allowing it to take place. He shouldn't be feeling like this... "I'm sorry," he whispered, more for his own benefit than for hers. She saw right through to the emotional conflict and thought perhaps she should call attention to it but immediately thought better of it; it would probably only embarrass him more and chase him further into himself. Instead, she continued on as if there had been no change in his demeanor, but with more consideration for his feelings and his point of view.
"I know that. It's not looking good for us at all. And if that's what happens, if we get too close to Manticore and we haven't seen them, we'll let it go, okay? Probably be the hardest thing I'll ever do in my life, but..." The tears begged for release again and a few began to sneak out. "...I'll let him go. I'll buckle down and pretend I don't care. But I can't do that without a fight. I feel guilty enough about it as it is, ya know? I keep thinking I coulda done something if I stayed. I shoulda...I shoulda been here to stop it." The tears were falling steadily now, albeit silently. "I mean, you look at this, it's messy. An X-5 woulda covered their tracks a hell of a lot better. These were norms that did this, and ya know why? Cuz they expected me not to be here. I coulda taken them, but no. They know you, and they know how I am when it comes to you, so they figured I'd bounce. And what'd I do? Right what they wanted me to. And this happens every...time... I detach myself, cuz I'm thinking like you and I don't wanna have to care, and I think everyone'll be safer and better off for it. I get all scared and I run, but..." She was nearly sobbing at this point, pushing back against the doorjamb for support. "...every time I do, it just makes it worse and I end up feeling like this. Why...why don't I learn? Why's it gotta be like that? I can't win..."
He wasn't sure what he was doing, or what that vague ache in the pit of his stomach meant, but suddenly he was wrapping his arms around her and letting her cry into his chest. It was strange and different sensation that passed through him and it confused him, as did the warm emotions toward Max that he'd developed over the years. He'd learned to like those somewhat...maybe he could learn to like this, too.
He only had a moment to savor the feeling before she had gained composure and pulled away from him. She wrapped her arms around herself and locked away her vulnerability; now was the time to get serious about the mission.
"There's no time for this," she stated simply, and with an understanding nod he followed her out of the room. Before they left, she was struck with a nearly year-old memory of a slightly similar situation, and she plugged the computer back in and quickly booted up. Eyes Only was in the hands of the enemy, and it was doubtful he would be rescued. With a few quick commands the Informant Net was warned and deleted, and an urban legend faded into oblivion.
But I AM gonna finish this, I promise. I'm still very into this story and I'm anxious to get it done...I'm just having some motivational issues at the moment, heh. Oh, and for Alec fans, don't worry, I consider him a bright spot in S2 and he WILL be popping up for a cameo in a few chapters. Wee...
*******
It wasn't long before Zack gave up trying to keep track of all the traffic laws Max was breaking at the moment. Though he admitted that he giddily accepted the occasional daredevil stunt and risked his precious skin for a quick adrenaline rush, he couldn't remember ever having gone this fast and it actually unnerved him a bit. He peered over her should at the speedometer - 180, 185, 190, 195, nausea sweeping over him. //God, she's gonna kill us.//
Needless to say, they reached Seattle in record time, and despite the misgivings he'd had during the ride, this pleased him immensely. He owed it to her to allow this mission, and the unfamiliar pangs of guilt that had been flowing through him since their argument convinced him that he'd feel better afterward. He still wanted to finish up and get out of here as quickly as possible, though, even as it occurred to him that she very well may not be coming with him this time.
He protested the move, but she thought it best to enter Logan's apartment through the front door to avoid any traps that might have been laid and to arrive at better condition to confront whatever unwanted visitors they might come across. Norm soldiers were so predictable; they'd never expect an X-5 to act human and make a discrete and common entrance. He could hear the crunch of eggshells so he bent to her and they boarded the elevator, with all pretense of normalcy.
The foyer seemed quiet enough; relief washed over her but an edge remained all the same. Paranoia dictated that the shadows and silence not be trusted, and at the moment overt caution was everything. She moved as she had at the cabin, slow but painfully alert, and she started when the fall of her footstep was met with a sharp crunch. She looked toward her feet to take in the shards of glass and then up to note the shattered skylight, breaths staggering as her heart and stomach lodged themselves in her throat.
"Oh god...LOGAN!" she cried, the panic overwhelming and forcing her to rush unbounded through the penthouse. Zack followed slowly, still unsure whether they should be doing this and suddenly feeling such anxiety over Logan's apparent absence that he frightened himself and briefly considered quietly slipping out. But he could never do that to Max, even if she was so deeply wrong that she'd likely drown him. Even then, it was rare that he was able to refuse her when she needed his help, and this was not one of those occasions.
She, meanwhile, had come to the great Eyes Only's room, a gasp escaping her lips. On the floor in pieces lay the exoskeleton, almost like a calling card, and among that as well as on the bed and all over the floor lay fragments of what remained of the window. She wanted to collapse; the Earth had gone of its axis, rolling erratically as flames engulfed her and guilty sobs threatened to break free. She had to lean momentarily on the edge of the bed so that she might collect herself, and all emotion was pushed down and held back. Pushed down, but certainly not forgotten, always screaming to break free. It was difficult to ignore but somehow she managed to calmly search the room for any concrete evidence. There was none, but as she neared the window something down below in the alley caught her eye. She leaned out and her pupils dilated, bringing every detail into sharp clarity...there, folded and tucked against the wall, was Logan's wheelchair.
Zack happened to summon the strength to enter the room just as Max saw this, just as the pain and anger erupted.
"GOD! Those bastards...motherfucking..." As she noted her brother's presence, she saw him only as an ally with which to share her anger and moved swiftly toward him, steaming and rambling. "They're gonna pay, Zack. I swear, ya don't MESS with my people...I'm gonna kick their asses. No, I'm gonna KILL them...they'll BURN before they get away with this..." She moved past him and tried to rush out in her rage, but he grabbed her arm and held her fast; this was anything but an intelligent way to proceed.
"Are you crazy?" he demanded of her. "Don't tell me that now you wanna take on Manticore for him. Without any back up or weapons or surveillance, without precaution. Dammit, we couldn't even take it with all of that on our side." As usual, his intense gaze was meant to intimidate, and as usual she met it with the headstrong defiance for which she was known.
"I never said I wanted to do that. I'm not THAT stupid; gimme some credit," she spat. "But I gotta do something. I gotta try. I mean, they may not even be there yet. We could intercept them."
He sighed and lowered his head, but for once he felt no anger - only sympathy. She was as blinded when it came to Logan and her friends as he was when it came to her; neither was the better for it, and he was beginning to understand. When he spoke again, it was more softly, in a tone to which he figured she'd be far more likely to listen.
"Max...they busted in at 12:30 this afternoon. That's over five hours ago. Even if they're not there yet, they will be before we can get to them." He felt a strange urge to pull her to him as a gesture of comfort, but reddened with shame and averted his eyes before allowing it to take place. He shouldn't be feeling like this... "I'm sorry," he whispered, more for his own benefit than for hers. She saw right through to the emotional conflict and thought perhaps she should call attention to it but immediately thought better of it; it would probably only embarrass him more and chase him further into himself. Instead, she continued on as if there had been no change in his demeanor, but with more consideration for his feelings and his point of view.
"I know that. It's not looking good for us at all. And if that's what happens, if we get too close to Manticore and we haven't seen them, we'll let it go, okay? Probably be the hardest thing I'll ever do in my life, but..." The tears begged for release again and a few began to sneak out. "...I'll let him go. I'll buckle down and pretend I don't care. But I can't do that without a fight. I feel guilty enough about it as it is, ya know? I keep thinking I coulda done something if I stayed. I shoulda...I shoulda been here to stop it." The tears were falling steadily now, albeit silently. "I mean, you look at this, it's messy. An X-5 woulda covered their tracks a hell of a lot better. These were norms that did this, and ya know why? Cuz they expected me not to be here. I coulda taken them, but no. They know you, and they know how I am when it comes to you, so they figured I'd bounce. And what'd I do? Right what they wanted me to. And this happens every...time... I detach myself, cuz I'm thinking like you and I don't wanna have to care, and I think everyone'll be safer and better off for it. I get all scared and I run, but..." She was nearly sobbing at this point, pushing back against the doorjamb for support. "...every time I do, it just makes it worse and I end up feeling like this. Why...why don't I learn? Why's it gotta be like that? I can't win..."
He wasn't sure what he was doing, or what that vague ache in the pit of his stomach meant, but suddenly he was wrapping his arms around her and letting her cry into his chest. It was strange and different sensation that passed through him and it confused him, as did the warm emotions toward Max that he'd developed over the years. He'd learned to like those somewhat...maybe he could learn to like this, too.
He only had a moment to savor the feeling before she had gained composure and pulled away from him. She wrapped her arms around herself and locked away her vulnerability; now was the time to get serious about the mission.
"There's no time for this," she stated simply, and with an understanding nod he followed her out of the room. Before they left, she was struck with a nearly year-old memory of a slightly similar situation, and she plugged the computer back in and quickly booted up. Eyes Only was in the hands of the enemy, and it was doubtful he would be rescued. With a few quick commands the Informant Net was warned and deleted, and an urban legend faded into oblivion.