~Saying something stupid~
Disclaimer:
Hi there!
Thanks for all the reviews. They really help me to continue!
I'm pretty sorry that I didn't come up with this chapter sooner. I had to do so much for school. I know, it's a lame excuse but I got an A in my math- test! I'm proud!
You should no by now that Digimon does belong to Kukuru…
Wait, no. It doesn't belong to her. She just wishes it would.
Special thanks to ASHERBOB 'cause because of the reviews I have to continue.
And special thanks to bitchylemonaddict 'cause I'm on her favourites list! ^_^
On with the 11th chapter!
~Saying something stupid~
~Tai's POV~
So I was standing in Matt's room. I took me long to decide if I better stay outside or go in.
I didn't know how the blonde would react.
He had two options. Either he would not want to see me or he would be happy to see me.
I think that he would choose the first one. I mean, I would have chosen this, too if my so-called boyfriend betrayed me like I did.
On the one hand I would have been happy if he would threw me out the room, but on the other hand I would be glad if I had the opportunity to make things clear.
I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't happy.
He really wasn't happy.
His father was sitting next to him.
I'm not sure what his father thought the moment I came into the room. I couldn't read minds and the look Mr Ishida gave me told me nothing.
And this was worse as if he had shot me a glance that would have sent shivers down my spine.
At that moment I didn't feel like a human being, I felt like I was nothing, a nobody.
A human being can stand if he knows that some people like him or even hate him. But a human being can not stand other peoples' indifference towards him.
As I said, I was standing in this big white room where the love on my life was laying. He was looking really pale and he had dark circles under his eyes.
He nearly would have died. And all because of me. Man, you can't know how much I hated myself.
"I think I better go now.", Matt's father said and tried to stand up. But then, Matt held his sleeve as tight as he could.
"Daddy, don't go now. I… I need you!", Matt said, eyeing me all the time.
"Matt, you have to go through it alone. I can't help you."
His father gave him a quick peck on the forehead.
After that he left the room, not shooting me a glance. I think I deserved it.
As his father was out the room, I went nearer to Yama's bed.
"What do you want?"
Matt sounded afraid. Was he afraid of me?
"I…", my voice was lost. I didn't know what to say. What if I said something wrong again?
Matt glared at me, holding the white blanket as near to his body as he could.
"If you don't have to say anything, go out.", Matt said as cold as ice. I couldn't be mad at him because of this.
I felt so guilty when I saw him laying there. He looked like an angel.
I couldn't believe I lost such a wonderful and beautiful creature.
"Uh… Matt, I wanted to…", I gulped, "say you that I'm sorry because of what happened. I didn't want this. You have to believe me!"
Matt listened to me without interrupting me. I was glad because of this because if he had interrupted me, I wouldn't have known how to say that I'm sorry. Stupid, isn't it?
Matt looked at me, his eyes were cold.
"Why should I believe you?", he asked. He had to cough afterwards.
He looked horrible as he did so. So vulnerable, so small, so helpless.
"Because… I love you.", I said as short as I could.
"If you love me you wouldn't have done such crap."
"But Matt… you know me when I'm in rage."
"That's no excuse. Please go now.", he said.
He laid down again. The time before he was sitting in the large bed.
"You can't forgive me, can you?", I asked, afraid of his answer.
"You're right. I can't forgive you. I tell you the same thing that I told dad a few minutes ago: I can't forgive you now, I can't ever forgive you. Now, go outta my life."
These were the last words which reverberated in the room, although I stood there and eyes him for about an eternity.
I couldn't come up with another excuse.
It seemed like I had lost him forever.
As I felt the tears coming, I stumbled out the room.
I went directly into the hospital's toilet.
The tears were falling and I didn't want anybody to see that I cried.
So I decided I better washed my face.
I opened the door to the toilet. I have been the only one in there.
I looked into the mirror.
My eyes were red from crying. I felt more tears coming up.
"What have you done, Taichi Yagami? What have you done?"
I closed my eyes and broke down crying. Again.
This has happened to me two days ago as I heard that Yama got hit by a car. I have been in the hospital since the evening after the accident.
I really cared much about Matt. I didn't want to lose him. Not now, not ever.
Suddenly the door opened.
~Matt's POV~
I couldn't believe that Tai really visited me.
I mean, after he was so cruel to me, he came visiting me.
Okay, I may not have been nice to him but what did you expect me to do?
Forgiving is not so easy. He broke a promise, he was rude.
I couldn't trust him anymore. At least I thought this way.
I didn't know what I felt for him after the incident.
I loved him in some ways. I mean, he was the one I talked to, I trusted. The first person I kissed.
And on the other hand I could kill him for what he has done.
But why did he visit me, anyways?
Did he still love me? Or did he want to torture me?
By the look in his big ingenuous eyes I would tell that he really loved me.
Not an easy situation.
Although I wanted to embrace him, to kiss him, to start crying in his arms because I wanted to say I'm sorry because of what I said, I couldn't.
The wounds in my heart and soul were too deep.
I hated myself for my stubbornness but what would you have done if you were in my situation?
Would you hug him and kiss him and pretend that everything was okay, that nothing has happened?
Since these bad this my uncle did to me I became more careful. I just had a few friends but these had been the best friends one could have.
I didn't told him about the thing because I thought it was better for them not to know.
And I was afraid of their reaction. So I decided not to tell them.
Just my family and Tai knew about this.
And I just told Tai because I learned to trust him over a long period of time.
And then I thought that I could never trust him again.
At least right then and there.
But I think that I after some time the most wounds would be healed so that Tai and I could built up a new relationship.
Not as lovers, but as friends…
~End of the 11th chapter~
Author's Note:
What do you think? Shall I continue? How shall I continue? Any ideas? E- mail me or write a review.
I'll just continue if I get more than 5 reviews.
Disclaimer:
Hi there!
Thanks for all the reviews. They really help me to continue!
I'm pretty sorry that I didn't come up with this chapter sooner. I had to do so much for school. I know, it's a lame excuse but I got an A in my math- test! I'm proud!
You should no by now that Digimon does belong to Kukuru…
Wait, no. It doesn't belong to her. She just wishes it would.
Special thanks to ASHERBOB 'cause because of the reviews I have to continue.
And special thanks to bitchylemonaddict 'cause I'm on her favourites list! ^_^
On with the 11th chapter!
~Saying something stupid~
~Tai's POV~
So I was standing in Matt's room. I took me long to decide if I better stay outside or go in.
I didn't know how the blonde would react.
He had two options. Either he would not want to see me or he would be happy to see me.
I think that he would choose the first one. I mean, I would have chosen this, too if my so-called boyfriend betrayed me like I did.
On the one hand I would have been happy if he would threw me out the room, but on the other hand I would be glad if I had the opportunity to make things clear.
I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't happy.
He really wasn't happy.
His father was sitting next to him.
I'm not sure what his father thought the moment I came into the room. I couldn't read minds and the look Mr Ishida gave me told me nothing.
And this was worse as if he had shot me a glance that would have sent shivers down my spine.
At that moment I didn't feel like a human being, I felt like I was nothing, a nobody.
A human being can stand if he knows that some people like him or even hate him. But a human being can not stand other peoples' indifference towards him.
As I said, I was standing in this big white room where the love on my life was laying. He was looking really pale and he had dark circles under his eyes.
He nearly would have died. And all because of me. Man, you can't know how much I hated myself.
"I think I better go now.", Matt's father said and tried to stand up. But then, Matt held his sleeve as tight as he could.
"Daddy, don't go now. I… I need you!", Matt said, eyeing me all the time.
"Matt, you have to go through it alone. I can't help you."
His father gave him a quick peck on the forehead.
After that he left the room, not shooting me a glance. I think I deserved it.
As his father was out the room, I went nearer to Yama's bed.
"What do you want?"
Matt sounded afraid. Was he afraid of me?
"I…", my voice was lost. I didn't know what to say. What if I said something wrong again?
Matt glared at me, holding the white blanket as near to his body as he could.
"If you don't have to say anything, go out.", Matt said as cold as ice. I couldn't be mad at him because of this.
I felt so guilty when I saw him laying there. He looked like an angel.
I couldn't believe I lost such a wonderful and beautiful creature.
"Uh… Matt, I wanted to…", I gulped, "say you that I'm sorry because of what happened. I didn't want this. You have to believe me!"
Matt listened to me without interrupting me. I was glad because of this because if he had interrupted me, I wouldn't have known how to say that I'm sorry. Stupid, isn't it?
Matt looked at me, his eyes were cold.
"Why should I believe you?", he asked. He had to cough afterwards.
He looked horrible as he did so. So vulnerable, so small, so helpless.
"Because… I love you.", I said as short as I could.
"If you love me you wouldn't have done such crap."
"But Matt… you know me when I'm in rage."
"That's no excuse. Please go now.", he said.
He laid down again. The time before he was sitting in the large bed.
"You can't forgive me, can you?", I asked, afraid of his answer.
"You're right. I can't forgive you. I tell you the same thing that I told dad a few minutes ago: I can't forgive you now, I can't ever forgive you. Now, go outta my life."
These were the last words which reverberated in the room, although I stood there and eyes him for about an eternity.
I couldn't come up with another excuse.
It seemed like I had lost him forever.
As I felt the tears coming, I stumbled out the room.
I went directly into the hospital's toilet.
The tears were falling and I didn't want anybody to see that I cried.
So I decided I better washed my face.
I opened the door to the toilet. I have been the only one in there.
I looked into the mirror.
My eyes were red from crying. I felt more tears coming up.
"What have you done, Taichi Yagami? What have you done?"
I closed my eyes and broke down crying. Again.
This has happened to me two days ago as I heard that Yama got hit by a car. I have been in the hospital since the evening after the accident.
I really cared much about Matt. I didn't want to lose him. Not now, not ever.
Suddenly the door opened.
~Matt's POV~
I couldn't believe that Tai really visited me.
I mean, after he was so cruel to me, he came visiting me.
Okay, I may not have been nice to him but what did you expect me to do?
Forgiving is not so easy. He broke a promise, he was rude.
I couldn't trust him anymore. At least I thought this way.
I didn't know what I felt for him after the incident.
I loved him in some ways. I mean, he was the one I talked to, I trusted. The first person I kissed.
And on the other hand I could kill him for what he has done.
But why did he visit me, anyways?
Did he still love me? Or did he want to torture me?
By the look in his big ingenuous eyes I would tell that he really loved me.
Not an easy situation.
Although I wanted to embrace him, to kiss him, to start crying in his arms because I wanted to say I'm sorry because of what I said, I couldn't.
The wounds in my heart and soul were too deep.
I hated myself for my stubbornness but what would you have done if you were in my situation?
Would you hug him and kiss him and pretend that everything was okay, that nothing has happened?
Since these bad this my uncle did to me I became more careful. I just had a few friends but these had been the best friends one could have.
I didn't told him about the thing because I thought it was better for them not to know.
And I was afraid of their reaction. So I decided not to tell them.
Just my family and Tai knew about this.
And I just told Tai because I learned to trust him over a long period of time.
And then I thought that I could never trust him again.
At least right then and there.
But I think that I after some time the most wounds would be healed so that Tai and I could built up a new relationship.
Not as lovers, but as friends…
~End of the 11th chapter~
Author's Note:
What do you think? Shall I continue? How shall I continue? Any ideas? E- mail me or write a review.
I'll just continue if I get more than 5 reviews.