Disclaimer: For the last time (on this story at least) the FF:TSW characters or situations do not belong to me.
SALVATION
Chapter Thirteen
"You're my last chance at salvation."
With a feeling of déjà vu, Aki stepped out of the Black Boa and into an empty wasteland that had once been a bustling city. There was a lump in her throat as she surveyed the dead parkland around her. She remembered walking with her parents here…
There was the sound of someone clearing their throat behind her, and Aki turned to Private Williams, her chaperone/bodyguard. The Phantoms may have been gone, but there was no way Dr. Sid would let her go into one of the dead cities without someone to watch over her.
With one last gaze towards the twisted remains of the Golden Gate Bridge, Aki turned her attention to her wrist computer. She'd programmed the address of her destination into it, and it should lead her straight to it, but they were several miles away. The park had been the only place clear enough to land her ship. "I hope you're ready for a long walk, Private," she murmured.
Williams shouldered his rifle and nodded. "Lead on."
They set out across the ruins of San Francisco, her hometown… and Hein's. Her mission was to decide for herself, once and for all, if Hein's life was worth saving.
It seemed so long ago since her few happy months with him… Gray had been born August 13, and Hein had made his confession on the 20th. It was now November.
Aki cautiously picked her way through the debris-choked city, avoiding the cars strewn across the deserted roads like a child's discarded toys.
I have to bring this to an end… Her thoughts were on the one person that had occupied them for so long. Even if he is a bastard, Hein doesn't deserve to have his fate left in the balance like this. He needs closure! And so do I…
She knew this wasn't good for her. She hadn't been eating well, and she'd lost too much weight too fast. The silvery environmental suit she wore, the one she'd worn so long ago, hung loose on her gaunt figure, except across her chest. There were dark rings around her eyes, for her sleep had been plagued by nightmares.
Aki glanced down at her computer. "Just one more mile, Private," she told him, a little breathlessly. She wasn't recovering from Gray's birth as well as she should, she knew. This was all tearing her up. That was likely why Dr. Sid had finally relented and allowed her to come to San Francisco.
Private Williams didn't respond. She had the feeling he didn't approve of what she was doing, but he respected her too much to tell her. But at least he'd agreed to come; Dr. Sid wouldn't have let her do this alone.
They were now in what had once been a pleasant residential area, with a single winding street that had been lined with trees, stunted from growing under the barrier, and now dry and dead. Hein must have made good money… It must have been a nice place to start a family, though, she thought, a little wistfully. She would love to own a nice home in a friendly neighborhood… with a man who loved her. She doubted that would ever happen now.
Aki checked the house numbers and nodded to a house to her right, with broken windows and peeling white paint. "This one," she said, climbing the sagging steps to the door. I hope there aren't any bodies inside… In an evacuation, most citizens fled towards the escape pods, but it was possible they'd been caught by surprise. Aki gave the door a push, but it didn't budge. Then Private Williams kicked it, and the door swung open with a groan of protest.
It was like a tomb… Everything was undisturbed; even the air felt stagnant, as if it hadn't moved in years. Williams left her, searching for bodies. Aki didn't want to see the remains of Hein's family if she could help it.
Williams came back ten minutes later, shaking his head and saying he was going outside.
With great trepidation, Aki walked through the kitchen – which still had food left on the table – and into the living room. It must have been cozy, she thought, noticing the remains of the furniture. A child's toys lay scattered in one corner, and Aki swallowed as she thought of little Gray lying lifeless, his spirit torn out by a Phantom, while she still lived.
She banished the gloomy thoughts quickly. She was here for a purpose: To find evidence that the man wasting away in prison had once been the youth she'd come to know. And that it was the death of his family that had changed him, not an aspect of his personality.
Had he been a loving husband? A caring father? A man who was consumed by revenge because he'd lost his reasons for living? Or had Hein been cold and cruel, like his father, a man lashing out at the Phantoms because his wife and daughter could no longer serve in that capacity?
She couldn't believe that! But he had been abused, and victims often had emotional problems. And yet, he'd been so sweet towards her… He'd loved her… He'd only been angry with her once, when she had been treating him badly, avoiding him without explanation.
Aki's searching eyes caught a row of pictures resting on the mantle of an old-fashioned fireplace. She went over to them and picked up the first.
"Oh…" It was a wedding picture, with two smiling people standing beneath a trellis. The woman was a lovely strawberry blond, wearing an old wedding dress. The man was almost unrecognizable as Hein. So that's what he looked like in his twenties… His hair was short and slightly tousled, and his blue eyes were shining, without a hint of the pain she'd been accustomed to. He looks so happy…
There were other pictures, too, most with him and his wife, Anna, and some with his daughter lovingly enfolded in his arms. Aki set the last picture down, remembering how she'd caught Hein holding Gray. It was like he knew what he was doing… He remembered being a father, and was treating Gray as he would his daughter.
There was a lump in her throat as she turned away. He was a good man. I know he was! He only needs the right motivation to become one again. But, can I be the one that changes him? Or will he reject me?
She only had one chance to discover this…
Aki wandered upstairs, finding herself in what must have been the master bedroom. Feeling a little embarrassed, she entered. She poked around curiously, wondering what kind of man she had fallen in love with. The contents of hid closet were a surprise; the clothing that was left wasn't all in the somber colors he'd favored. She must have loosened him up somehow. I can't imagine him dressing this… colorfully otherwise!
On the shelf above, she found a box of photo albums. Aki leafed through them, seeing the smiling faces of Hein and his family look back at her. On impulse, she decided to bring the box back with her. At the very least, the photos could serve as evidence to herself that Hein had been worth loving.
She went back downstairs, meeting Private Williams in the kitchen. "Don't go out back. There are two bodies in the garden. Could be his family."
Aki considered burying them, but she lacked the strength and she doubted Williams could do it alone. Besides, it didn't seem right to do it without Hein.
"Did you find what you were looking for?" Williams asked as they left the house. His gaze rested on the box.
"No… But now I know it can be found." Hein had had a heart once. Perhaps she could find it, and return him to the person he had once been.
But she had so little time…
* * *
Dr. Sid didn't want to be here, but he would do anything for Aki. She'd been so hurt by recent events, and it pained Dr. Sid to see her so miserable. It was nearly as bad as when she had lost Captain Edwards; but that had been by a brave sacrifice, not a bitter betrayal. Her reaction to Gray's loss had been healthy, and she'd been able to get on with her life. If only she could get over Hein that easily…
It would help, Dr. Sid thought, if Hein would just come out and tell her how he feels about her. Aki thought when she last spoke to him that he was only pushing her to get her angry. If he could just come out and say he hated her and never wanted to see her again, perhaps Aki could get on with her life.
That was why he found himself on his way to visit the fallen general. He needed Hein to show Aki how he really felt. According to his psychologist, Dr. Gilmore, Hein had sunk into a stupor, barely responding to anything around him. If he kept that up, Aki would never discover the man's true feelings. Dr. Sid needed to snap him out of it before Aki wasted away, pining over a man she could never have.
Dr. Sid dreaded speaking to him. Maybe he was shutting out the world, but Hein was sure to react strongly to Dr. Sid's presence. Dr. Sid couldn't believe he was willingly going to speak to Hein.
Hein was sitting on his bed, reading a book when Dr. Sid entered. His eye widened slightly when he saw who his guest was, and he shut the book and set it on the covers beside him.
"Dr. Sid. To what do I owe the pleasure?" The voice was curiously flat, as if Hein couldn't be bothered to show any emotion at the sight of him.
"I just thought I'd tell you: You're getting your wish. In a few days time, the Council is going to call you before them and finally decide what to do with you."
"Good," Hein said in that same tone. "But why send you to tell me? Did you come here to gloat?"
"Oh, no, Mr. Hein," Dr. Sid said, a little maliciously, and Hein winced at the unfamiliar title. Been too long since you've been a civilian, I see… "I wanted to discuss something with you."
Hein sighed and got to his feet. "Dr. Ross, right?" He began to pace his cell, a prowling walk Dr. Sid was far too familiar with. "You want me to apologize to her before I die, right? So she doesn't spend the rest of her life thinking about how she fell in love with a cold-hearted bastard?"
There was still no emotion behind Hein's words, which shocked Dr. Sid. Where was the biting sarcasm he was accustomed to? Where was his impatience? His arrogance? Why bother to suppress his emotions? "I wouldn't want you to lie," Dr. Sid said, seating himself on Hein's spot on the bed. "I want you to tell her exactly how you feel about her, so it won't drive her crazy for the rest of her life."
Hein didn't respond, and Dr. Sid looked up at him. There was a strange expression on the younger man's face, which he quickly hid. He's… confused? But why?
Dr. Sid wasn't sure what else to say. He turned o the book lying on the bed next to him. "Shakespeare?" he asked incredulously.
Hein shrugged. "Aki left it for me when she brought me my coat," he said, nodding towards the leather garment hung on one bedpost.
He called her Aki! Dr. Sid had never heard Hein use her first name until his injury. What could that mean?
"How…" Hein faltered, as if he wasn't certain he wanted to say anything. "How is Dr. Ross, anyway?"
Interesting… I can't imagine him asking something like that just to be polite. "She's hurting. What did you expect? She doesn't eat well, she barely sleeps, and she's becoming obsessed with…" No, he'd better not go into that. "Anyway, we'll all be glad when this is at an end."
Hein turned from Dr. Sid and stared out his window. His shoulders slumped. "I'll make certain to tell her how I feel, when the time comes," Hein said, his voice somehow becoming flatter. "I wouldn't want her to destroy her life over me."
"I'll bet, Mr. Hein," Dr. Sid snorted, and Hein stiffened. He whirled to face Dr. Sid.
"I know you have no faith in me, Doctor, but I have destroyed too many lives already. I can hear the screams of the dying in my dreams at night. I can see their terror as they're slaughtered because of something I did. Regardless of my feelings for Aki, I will NOT destroy another life! I will sever all ties with her, and have one less thing on my soul when those fools on the Council finally do the right thing and execute me!" Hein's hands were clenched, his knuckles white. Dr. Sid got up and headed towards the door, wondering if Hein would actually hit him.
"That's all I ask," Dr. Sid murmured. He left Hein standing there, glowering at him. The interview certainly hadn't gone how he'd expected it to.
Did a part of Hein still love Aki even now?
* * *
Several minutes passed before Hein could calm himself down. He hadn't intended to lose his temper. He hadn't thought he was capable any longer of expressing emotions. He'd bottled them up, refusing to feel the horror of what he'd done, the guilt that haunted his every waking moment, or the love he felt towards a woman he'd sworn to hate.
Hein sat down on his bed, setting the book on his knees. But at least it was about to end. If Dr. Sid was correct – and Hein didn't see why he'd be lying – then it would all come to an end in a few days.
He would only have to face Aki one more time. He'd known she would have to be at any upcoming trial of his, and he'd planned to just ignore her, to save them both from any pain. But, if Dr. Sid were right, his cruelty was killing Aki, wearing away at her spirit as surely as that Phantom infection had. All he had to do was say he hated her. That should be easy, right?
I challenged her once to say the same thing to me… She couldn't. Will I be able to tell her the same thing? Even though I'd be lying through my teeth. Why do I have to have feelings for her? I've had dealings with her for quite a while and never felt anything for her except loathing. What's changed?
I never saw her as a woman before… Only an obstacle to be overcome. Never as a woman… My amnesia opened up my eyes…
He couldn't remain quiet and let Aki suffer. But he couldn't lie to her. Perhaps he could thank her for what she'd done for him. Maybe he could tell her to forget him and get on with her life and say he wasn't worth it. Assuming his pride allowed him to.
Why hadn't he just killed himself when he'd been alone on that shuttle, before he'd reached the Zeus?
The book slipped from his knees and fell to the floor. Hein leaned to pick it up, catching his thumb against the page it had fallen open to.
Maybe he should just say nothing at all. Why would Dr. Sid want him to tell Aki he hated her, anyway? Wouldn't that just hurt her even worse? And Aki was going to be hurt no matter what he said anyway. Why should he bother to soothe her emotions? He'd probably make things worse, as usual.
He scanned the page the book had fallen on. It was the play "Romeo and Juliet." His gaze was drawn to a passage by Juliet, lamenting her family's enmity with Romeo's. Her only love sprung from her only hate… Shakespeare didn't know the half of it.
What was he going to do?
It was too late to save himself, but could he help Aki after all?
* * *
Aki was starting to really loathe the Council chamber. Very little good had come from it recently. This is the last time, she swore to herself. Once this was over with, she planned to stay out of politics. She would buy a house and raise Gray. This would end!
The audience rows were nearly empty. Aki wondered how they had managed to turn away the nosy press. It was a relief since, if everything went right, it would cause quite a scandal.
Hein entered the chamber, relieved at a change of scenery and glad to be unencumbered by the guards that had escorted him here. He put on his most expressionless face, and searched the small crowd.
He tried to tell himself it was just curiosity, but he knew he was looking for Aki. When he spotted her, he turned so he wouldn't seem like he was looking at her, but he examined her out of the corner of his eye.
She's thin… too thin. Dr. Sid was right, this is affecting her badly. Damn it, why did she have to do this?
Unlike Hein, Aki didn't hide the fact that she was studying him. She took in his pale, shadowed features, his gaunt face, his thin body barely hidden by the black leather coat. So he hasn't taken this well, either, Aki thought speculatively.
Hein took his seat, and Aki took hers. The Council sat in their raised seats, gazes impassive. There was no sign of what they had decided for Hein. Aki crossed her fingers, hoping the Council had listened to the suggestions she and Dr. Sid had made, and that Hein would react as she desperately hoped she would.
"After much deliberation," Councilwoman Hee began, "we are here to decide the fate of Douglas Hein, former general of the USMF and traitor to the human race."
Hein didn't react. What she'd said was very true.
Aki tensed. Was the Council going to destroy Hein after all?
"Normally, such an accusation would be punished by execution. However, with the world population at an all-time low, executions were banned fourteen years ago."
Hein frowned. Now would be a good time to start them again!
"Also, it has come to our attention that the man known as General Hein may not have been in his right mind at the time of New York's demise, and had made decisions while in this state."
Hein's body went rigid. They're accusing me of insanity!
Aki exchanged glances with Dr. Sid. They're doing it! she mouthed.
"Records state you had a strong potential for mental problems, and Dr. Gilmore agrees that you weren't in the right state of mind, and in fact still show signs of such instabilities."
They think I'm insane! Hein almost rose to his feet in protest. No! Not this! Not this way!
"While we feel you should be condemned to death, the Council will not inflict such a punishment on one who wasn't in his right mind."
Aki watched Hein. Every word was chipping away at his composure. Hopefully, he'd be willing to listen afterwards.
"You're going to let me live," Hein said coldly.
Hee scowled at the interruption. "Yes. It has been pointed out to us that living your life with the knowledge of what you have done could be a better punishment than killing you now."
Hein gaped. So that's what this was about… The Council was playing the insanity angle so they had a legal excuse to leave him alive… and tormented by his inner demons! That would be crueler than death…
He turned to face Aki. This is her doing! She doesn't want me to die! It was almost enough to make him hate her. Almost.
"Because of your previously spotless record of service," Hee went on, as if she hadn't spoken that last part, "we are giving you a choice of punishment."
"Death," Hein hissed. This was extremely unusual! Was this why there were no press agents or spectators present? What they were suggesting was scandalous!
Hee's eyes flickered towards Aki, who nodded. They're doing this for her? Do they really respect her that much?
"Your first option is to be sent to a penitentiary, where you will serve out a life sentence for your crimes." And be trapped with his memories. From the looks of the Council, this was the choice they favored.
"Your second is to be sent to a mental hospital in Hawaii, far from anyone you may have harmed, where you will be treated until you are deemed fit to enter society again, in which case a job will be set up for you so you can live a normal life."
This was the choice Aki expected Hein to take. It gave him a shot at redeeming his life, starting anew in a place where few would have met or even heard of him. At least he'd be alive… assuming he didn't commit suicide.
"Your final option…" Hee hesitated, but went on with another nod from Aki, "would be to spend your life far from here, under the care and supervision of Dr. Aki Ross and Dr. Sid in the hopes that they can help you repay your debt to society, which would save taxpayers the cost of putting you in the mental hospital."
Aki watched as Hein turned to face her, astonishment on his scarred features. His mouth worked silently for a moment, then he said, "May I please have a few minutes alone with Dr. Ross?"
The Council granted their approval, and Aki and Hein went towards the back of the chamber, where there was no one but a single guard inside the sealed door.
"Why are you doing this?" Hein snarled. "You know as well as I do that I deserve execution. Why did you convince the Council that I was temporarily insane and didn't deserve it?"
"Because it's true," Aki said coldly. "When you had amnesia, and thought you were younger, you would never have done anything like that. I spoke to you when you were aboard the Zeus, remember? You weren't sane!"
"And you think that being locked up or taken care of is going to improve that? Being shut away in prison with my nightmares will only make matters worse. And I would never submit to 'treatment' at a mental institution!" He wouldn't – couldn't! – consider the third option. "This is cruel, even for you, Doctor!" he raged. "You've already had your revenge. Why do you insist on drawing it out?"
"What do you mean, I've had my revenge?"
"You…" Hein checked himself, controlling his rage. Tell her how you feel, Dr. Sid had said. "You made me love you," Hein whispered. The admission hurt him.
Aki stared, wondering if it was too good to be true. He certainly sounded sincere. "I never meant to," Aki said softly.
"God… Aki… You don't know what you've done to me. I've been trying so hard these past few weeks to hate you, but I can't. I can't ignore these feelings!" Now that he'd blurted out his feelings, he couldn't stop himself. "I wanted this to end quickly so you could continue with your life, but you seem determined not to let me go. Why?"
"You know why," Aki said. She'd never heard that particular tone in Hein's voice before. There was fear and confusion, mixed with longing. Maybe he wants to be loved after all these years. If only he'd accept my offer…
"I deserve to rot in prison, not another chance at life. I should be left alone with my ghosts, to die alone and unwanted and descend to whatever hell I'm destined for. And yet," his voice became barely audible, "something in my heart tells me," he stopped uncertainly. "You're my last chance at salvation. The only way to save my soul. And if I refuse, both of us could be lost forever."
"How do I know you're not lying?" Aki was afraid Hein was only manipulating her, telling her what she wanted to hear either to hurt her or to get himself away from the Council where he could carry out his own execution.
Shamelessly, he leaned forward and kissed her. It wasn't the gentle touch of his younger self, but something more passionate, hungrier. She responded without hesitation. When Hein broke it off he whispered, "Did that feel like a lie to you?"
Aki was left a little breathless. "Will you come with Sid and I?"
"I don't know why you'd want me. "I'm arrogant, close-minded, selfish, stubborn, and suicidal. I wake up screaming from my nightmares. I can't even remember properly how to love someone. Your friends will probably shun you because of me. You won't be able to have much contact with the military anymore. Or-"
Aki pressed a finger to his scarred lips. "Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards correcting it."
"I have a lot of problems," Hein said wryly.
"I have a lot of time," Aki said. She remembered the photos, tucked away in her room. "I think you'll be worth it."
She leaned forward to kiss him again, but he stopped her. "You do know the Council is watching, right?"
"Since when have you cared what the Council thought?" she murmured.
"Never," Hein admitted, letting her kiss him again. I didn't realize how much I missed this… He could feel her determination in that touch. If she was as determined to love him as she'd been to save the world, he didn't have a chance in stopping her. And he really didn't want to, anyway.
"I take it you accept my offer, then?" she asked.
Hein grinned, a remnant of his youthful self. "I'd be a fool not to."
They went together to inform the Council.
* * *
As the last of their possessions were loaded into the Black Boa, Dr. Sid came up to Hein. "Regret your decision yet?"
"No," Hein said calmly. "Do you?"
"It's what Aki wants. And we were planning to leave Houston anyway, to get away from it all. We want to be closer to some of our sites. That's why we're heading to Toronto. It's by the first site, and my old house is there. Should be big enough for us all."
Hein was silent as he watched Aki speak to Private Williams, the only military man who had bothered to help with the loading. Aki held her son, and Hein was briefly reminded of Anna holding young Sarah. He'd loved them so much…
But he had a new love now. Aki caught his eye and smiled, and he smiled back. Did he regret it? Never!
"Do you think the house will be big enough for both of us?" Hein challenged. Dr. Sid raised an eyebrow.
"If Aki can put up with you, so can I. You've changed, you know," Dr. Sid continued. "You're not the man you once were."
"On the contrary, Doctor, I am going to become the man I once was." He turned and began to walk towards Aki. "She saved me," he said, almost to himself. "She deserves no less."
He pulled Aki into a tight embrace, determined never to let go.
The End
Author's Note: Oh my God…. I never, ever, ever thought I would type those words at the end of this story! It's done! I apologize that the ending isn't the greatest, but I couldn't think of another way to get Hein out of this situation. And watching TSW this weekend almost freaked me out. After writing my sweet young Hein for so long, I'd forgotten how nasty he could be. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to get them together for awhile! But they do. And do they live happily ever after? Of course! If you want to know what happens immediately after, I have a Christmas story called "Last Chance" that I put up around the time I did chapter five of "Salvation." Check it out, and let me know if you think I stayed true to "Salvation" that long before it was finished. Do I plan anything else for them? Yes! I want to do a somewhat comedic wedding for them. I have another one planned as well, but I won't go into it yet. As for epic Aki/Hein romances, which are in short supply (hint, hint) I have plans for an AU called "Terminal" in which Hein is the one with the Phantom infection instead of Aki. It gives the chance to redo some FF:TSW scenes, and I get to do a Hein/Aki/Gray love triangle. Woo hoo! I also had a slightly demented idea for a fic that borrows the basic concept of "Vengeance," but without Aki being aware of Hein's 'modifications.' After all, do you think that "Vengeance" itself could spawn a romance? I don't. Anyway, I want to thank everyone who reviewed, and MADE me finish the story. You'd be amazed what the threat of a lynch mob does to one's motivation. One of you chapter twelve reviewers is my 200th reviewer! I don't know who, but you are! I couldn't have done "Salvation" without all of you. The story isn't perfect, I know. I cut out a lot of planned scenes. For instance, I'd intended to reuse that woman Aki was talking to in chapter one. And there was going to be a scene with horseback riding, where Hein was showing off his dubious skills to impress Aki. But scenes like the one where Aki had Gray stayed true to my original plans. Anyway, this is the end of the longest fic I have ever written. If you want more Aki/Hein, I suggest "The Five Spirits" by Severus and Raine - the FIRST Aki/Hein romance, "New Life" by Severus, "Lonely Hearts" by Ntrophi, and "The Jacket" by Terra, which hints at such a romance. We need more, people. Much more! Anyway, thank you all for reading. I hope you enjoyed "Salvation!"