It was over. Lucifer and his followers had been thrown out. Had Fallen,
down through eternity, to the Hell that would be their domain. Aziraphale
stood in the place he had first kissed Calaei and remembered.
Another argument, this one greater than all that had gone before. Lucifer – poor, deluded, ill-fated angel – had proclaimed himself his Father's enemy, declaring war. And rank upon winged rank of angels drew away from God's Host to join him. First his closest aides, his generals, then those who would rule sections of Hell in his name, and finally the ordinary, the demons of everyday. And as they stood opposite the one who had been their Lord, they changed. Angels no longer, their eyes were bestial, although no beasts had been created yet. Their robes darkened, black as the chaos outside the City, without even the stars to brighten them. They changed, and all save the Archangel recoiled in horror.
Then some of the angels drew apart from both sides, for they would not – could not – choose. Choose between a God who would create a Devil, and the Devil who had been the favoured son of their God? It was impossible. And Calaei was among these angels.
But Aziraphale stood with the Army of God and a heavenly sword flamed bright in his grasp, yet he could not persuade Calaei to stand with him, with God. Then was fought the War for Heaven, the first war. The war that could have only one outcome, for the Plan would allow no other. Angels died then, first but not last, and the new-made demons too, more of the latter than the former. When, finally, Satan was defeated, Michael hurled him through the Shining Gates, and his followers Fell with him.
Once the War was over, most of the undecided angels returned to the Host, and were allowed to take up their old responsibilities. But from time to time, one would walk out through the gates, changing as they went, and never return again. Calaei too had rejoined the angels, but now he was changed. He questioned now, he wondered as Lucifer had done, no matter how Aziraphale tried to tell him that could only lead to misery. He could not be given the answers to the questions he asked.
Every day he had more questions, as the world began to be formed, sung into life by the angels at God's behest. When it was done, when Adam and Eve were made, curious Calaei persuaded Aziraphale to go down with him, to see these newest of God's children. There, the Namer paused in his duty, looked at them, and said not 'angels', for he had seen angels before, but 'Love'. Then he returned to his litany. 'Apple. Snake. Sword.' The angels – who now had a name for their feelings – returned to the Silver City. But even the name, even Calaei's love for Aziraphale, his love for his God, couldn't keep him from his questioning.
Some time after their trip to Eden, the Lord summoned Aziraphale, told him he was to take up his sword once more and guard the Eastern Gate of Eden against the minions of Satan. Calaei could not go – he was a weakness. He would be tolerated, but not indulged.
But when Aziraphale returned to tell him the news, Calaei was gone. Something had finally forced him to make his decision, and he had gone to join the ranks of the Fallen, and Aziraphale would not join him. He too had made his choice, but he could not forget.
Thus he came to be here, watching the stars below, and knowing that soon he would have to take up his new job. And perhaps he would see Calaei, his Calaei, no matter what his name was, what he was, now, and he would not know what to do…
Some time later, he looked up in bewilderment. What was he doing here? He had no time to waste it in aimless thinking. Unfurling his wings, he flew towards the Gates to Earth, and if anyone had mentioned the name 'Calaei', he would not have recognised it.
Another argument, this one greater than all that had gone before. Lucifer – poor, deluded, ill-fated angel – had proclaimed himself his Father's enemy, declaring war. And rank upon winged rank of angels drew away from God's Host to join him. First his closest aides, his generals, then those who would rule sections of Hell in his name, and finally the ordinary, the demons of everyday. And as they stood opposite the one who had been their Lord, they changed. Angels no longer, their eyes were bestial, although no beasts had been created yet. Their robes darkened, black as the chaos outside the City, without even the stars to brighten them. They changed, and all save the Archangel recoiled in horror.
Then some of the angels drew apart from both sides, for they would not – could not – choose. Choose between a God who would create a Devil, and the Devil who had been the favoured son of their God? It was impossible. And Calaei was among these angels.
But Aziraphale stood with the Army of God and a heavenly sword flamed bright in his grasp, yet he could not persuade Calaei to stand with him, with God. Then was fought the War for Heaven, the first war. The war that could have only one outcome, for the Plan would allow no other. Angels died then, first but not last, and the new-made demons too, more of the latter than the former. When, finally, Satan was defeated, Michael hurled him through the Shining Gates, and his followers Fell with him.
Once the War was over, most of the undecided angels returned to the Host, and were allowed to take up their old responsibilities. But from time to time, one would walk out through the gates, changing as they went, and never return again. Calaei too had rejoined the angels, but now he was changed. He questioned now, he wondered as Lucifer had done, no matter how Aziraphale tried to tell him that could only lead to misery. He could not be given the answers to the questions he asked.
Every day he had more questions, as the world began to be formed, sung into life by the angels at God's behest. When it was done, when Adam and Eve were made, curious Calaei persuaded Aziraphale to go down with him, to see these newest of God's children. There, the Namer paused in his duty, looked at them, and said not 'angels', for he had seen angels before, but 'Love'. Then he returned to his litany. 'Apple. Snake. Sword.' The angels – who now had a name for their feelings – returned to the Silver City. But even the name, even Calaei's love for Aziraphale, his love for his God, couldn't keep him from his questioning.
Some time after their trip to Eden, the Lord summoned Aziraphale, told him he was to take up his sword once more and guard the Eastern Gate of Eden against the minions of Satan. Calaei could not go – he was a weakness. He would be tolerated, but not indulged.
But when Aziraphale returned to tell him the news, Calaei was gone. Something had finally forced him to make his decision, and he had gone to join the ranks of the Fallen, and Aziraphale would not join him. He too had made his choice, but he could not forget.
Thus he came to be here, watching the stars below, and knowing that soon he would have to take up his new job. And perhaps he would see Calaei, his Calaei, no matter what his name was, what he was, now, and he would not know what to do…
Some time later, he looked up in bewilderment. What was he doing here? He had no time to waste it in aimless thinking. Unfurling his wings, he flew towards the Gates to Earth, and if anyone had mentioned the name 'Calaei', he would not have recognised it.