Chapter 2: Leave Your Identity at the Door
"Well we thought it over and we really think you'd fit the part."
"Really? That's great!" Indiana smiled pushing up his glasses. "I'm really going to enjoy playing the part of the mysterious, quiet stranger."
"Uh…about that…you see we already found someone to fill that part" mumbled the director "you'll be playing the part of the goofy, idiotic, fun loving comic relief!"
"Wha…what?" his glasses nearly fell off his face.
This is not how he had planned things. In fact, this isn't even what he wanted. He never wanted to be a star. His controlling mother had forced him into it. He enjoyed a nice quiet peaceful existence reading his books. If he was being forced into this charade he preferred to play the mysterious recluse who had the least speaking parts and minimal interaction with the other characters. Now they wanted him to play the comic relief? He didn't have an ounce of humor in his entire body.
"Now first off we'll have to change your look. I'm not really feeling the whole…"
"Geek look?" chimed in his assistant.
"Yes! Exactly! Now first we need to get rid of those glasses…and that tie has to go."
The assistant jumped on poor Indiana like a dog. He snatched his glasses off revealing his handsome, boyish face. Then he went for the tie, nearly choking Indiana in the process.
"Hey excuse me do you mind I…" Indiana blurted out.
"Shut up. Now, you're gonna need some bright wacky clothes, something that says 'I'm crazy, I'm loony, I don't know how to dress myself!' You'll also need a crazy hairdo too. Mess up his hair, spike it up!"
It all happened so fast Indiana could do nothing to stop it. Next thing he knew he was wearing a black turtleneck cut off at the stomach, blue jean overalls with one leg at regular length and the other cut off at the knee and ridiculous shiny red sneakers. His dirty blonde hair was spiked and fake tattoos were put on his arms and face. He felt like an idiot…he looked like one too.
"Look" Indiana fidgeted, trying to find some comfort in his new digs "I can't do this, this just isn't me."
"Of course it is! Another thing, loose the English accent, it's doesn't fit."
"You know he should have a catch phrase, something funny and zany, something the kids will like. It's gotta be cool and hip!" suggested the assistant, scribbling on his clipboard.
"Yes that's a brilliant! It's a good thing I haven't fired you yet! Now let's see…you'll say…"
"Shibby!" the assistant yelled out. "All the kids these days are saying it. It's from that movie 'Dude I Have A Car'.
"Isn't it 'Dude Where's My Car'?"
"Whatever it's hot!"
"Then it's settled, anytime you're excited about something you'll say 'shibby'. Oh and we'll be shortening your name, it's Indi now. The kids will relate to that more."
"No! No, no, no! I don't wear these clothes, I don't spike my hair and I don't say 'shibby'! This is ridiculous! I refuse to play this part!"
"Hmm what did you say Indi baby? I wasn't paying attention." The director said, chatting away with his assistant.
"Oh bloody hell!" a large vein began to protrude from Indi's head.
He consider just walking out, leaving them to find some other sap to play this ridiculous part. Then he remembered his mother and how much she wanted this for him. He knew she'd find out about this one way or another. She'd either throw one hell of a sobbing guilt trip, or one hell of a tantrum, neither one of which he wanted to be present for. He sucked up his pride, lowered his head and walked back into the room.
"Shibby…oh bullocks."
"Well we thought it over and we really think you'd fit the part."
"Really? That's great!" Indiana smiled pushing up his glasses. "I'm really going to enjoy playing the part of the mysterious, quiet stranger."
"Uh…about that…you see we already found someone to fill that part" mumbled the director "you'll be playing the part of the goofy, idiotic, fun loving comic relief!"
"Wha…what?" his glasses nearly fell off his face.
This is not how he had planned things. In fact, this isn't even what he wanted. He never wanted to be a star. His controlling mother had forced him into it. He enjoyed a nice quiet peaceful existence reading his books. If he was being forced into this charade he preferred to play the mysterious recluse who had the least speaking parts and minimal interaction with the other characters. Now they wanted him to play the comic relief? He didn't have an ounce of humor in his entire body.
"Now first off we'll have to change your look. I'm not really feeling the whole…"
"Geek look?" chimed in his assistant.
"Yes! Exactly! Now first we need to get rid of those glasses…and that tie has to go."
The assistant jumped on poor Indiana like a dog. He snatched his glasses off revealing his handsome, boyish face. Then he went for the tie, nearly choking Indiana in the process.
"Hey excuse me do you mind I…" Indiana blurted out.
"Shut up. Now, you're gonna need some bright wacky clothes, something that says 'I'm crazy, I'm loony, I don't know how to dress myself!' You'll also need a crazy hairdo too. Mess up his hair, spike it up!"
It all happened so fast Indiana could do nothing to stop it. Next thing he knew he was wearing a black turtleneck cut off at the stomach, blue jean overalls with one leg at regular length and the other cut off at the knee and ridiculous shiny red sneakers. His dirty blonde hair was spiked and fake tattoos were put on his arms and face. He felt like an idiot…he looked like one too.
"Look" Indiana fidgeted, trying to find some comfort in his new digs "I can't do this, this just isn't me."
"Of course it is! Another thing, loose the English accent, it's doesn't fit."
"You know he should have a catch phrase, something funny and zany, something the kids will like. It's gotta be cool and hip!" suggested the assistant, scribbling on his clipboard.
"Yes that's a brilliant! It's a good thing I haven't fired you yet! Now let's see…you'll say…"
"Shibby!" the assistant yelled out. "All the kids these days are saying it. It's from that movie 'Dude I Have A Car'.
"Isn't it 'Dude Where's My Car'?"
"Whatever it's hot!"
"Then it's settled, anytime you're excited about something you'll say 'shibby'. Oh and we'll be shortening your name, it's Indi now. The kids will relate to that more."
"No! No, no, no! I don't wear these clothes, I don't spike my hair and I don't say 'shibby'! This is ridiculous! I refuse to play this part!"
"Hmm what did you say Indi baby? I wasn't paying attention." The director said, chatting away with his assistant.
"Oh bloody hell!" a large vein began to protrude from Indi's head.
He consider just walking out, leaving them to find some other sap to play this ridiculous part. Then he remembered his mother and how much she wanted this for him. He knew she'd find out about this one way or another. She'd either throw one hell of a sobbing guilt trip, or one hell of a tantrum, neither one of which he wanted to be present for. He sucked up his pride, lowered his head and walked back into the room.
"Shibby…oh bullocks."