Doesn't Anyone Stay Dead Around Here?
Chapter 15
Anya didn't understand why everyone else was so confused by her suggestion. To her the situation was simple: to expel a demon from its host, exorcise it.
"An, honey," Xander started. "As much fun as I think performing an exorcism on Captain Peroxide would be, what with the holy water and stuff, wouldn't it hurt him?" Realizing he was defending the vampire, Xander shook his head. "Wait, I'm on board with the Spike hurting! Do you think we can make his head spin around?"
"Xander!" Dawn's hurt voice was enough to make the man duck his head.
"Well, you wouldn't use actual holy water, silly," Anya said. "Of course it would be different from a regular exorcism because you only want to exorcise one demon, not both. But the principle's the same."
"Um, okay, that's a good suggestion. Thank you, Anya," Buffy said, hoping to placate the ex-vengeance demon. "Why don't you guys start looking for other options – just so we've looked at all the possibilities – and I'll call Giles and see what he thinks. I need to let him know that we're all still alive." She glanced at Spike's body. "Sort of."
***
"Okay, thanks, Giles. Bye." Buffy hung up the phone, deep in thought. She turned to the research table and when she finally focused on her friends, found them waiting for her to speak.
"Well, Giles thinks an exorcism is probably our best bet, although still not a really good bet. I think." The blonde shook her head and waved her hand vaguely. "He had some kind of gambling metaphor."
"See?" Anya asked, laying down the book she was looking through, unabashedly revealing the bridal magazine she had hidden inside it. "You should listen to me more."
"Okay, exorcism time," Willow said, nodding her head decisively. "Um, do we know anyone who can do an exorcism?"
"Giles said one of us could probably do it, preferably you or me," she nodded at Willow. "It just has to be a strong person. Mentally. Not that the rest of you aren't strong, but we've both had lots of practice. Course that's sort of like magic, for you, Wills, so… But since this isn't your normal exorcism, he said it would be better to try and find a priest or something rather than going the 'Exorcism for Dummies' route."
"He actually said 'Exorcism for Dummies?'" Tara asked, raising her eyebrow in amusement.
"Well, he used bigger words and a lot more of them, but, basically, yeah."
"Oh!" Willow exclaimed and started snapping her fingers, trying to remember the idea that was tickling at the edge of her mind. "Wasn't there a priest that helped us once? That Thanksgiving with the bear and Xander's . . ." She trailed off sheepishly, glancing at her best friend.
"Xander's funny syphilis?" the man in question asked, sarcastically.
"Yeah. Maybe he can-" Willow cut herself off abruptly, remembering that Buffy had found the holy man murdered. "…be dead and not really of any use to us."
"Anybody know any other priestly types?" Buffy asked. When she was met with a round of shrugged shoulders and negative head shaking, she sighed. "Yeah, none of us are exactly poster children for conventional religion."
"Couldn't we just go to churches and ask?" Anya questioned, always in favor of the direct approach.
"I can hear it now." Willow rolled her eyes at Anya's suggestion. "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. Oh, and by the way, I need you to do an exorcism on a vampire. Yeah, they're real. And see, here's the thing. We've got two vampires in one body, and we want to you to evict one, but leave the other alone. Right."
"And what do you propose, Willow?" Anya demanded, tired of having her perfectly reasonable ideas mocked. "Kidnapping a priest and forcing him to do it at stake-point? Or maybe, there's a spell and you could do it."
"Okay!" Buffy cut in cheerfully, trying to break up the rapidly escalating argument. "Why don't Xander and Anya go visit some churches and see what they can find out? You guys might want to try Willy's too. Wills, get on the net and see what you can find in the 'do-it-yourself exorcism' category, just in case. Tara and Dawn, keep researching other options."
Buffy picked up the tranquilizer gun and handed it to Tara. "Keep an eye on him," she instructed, nodding at the chained vampire on the floor." Knock him out if he wakes up. He tried to put me in thrall earlier. But use a low dose. We'll need him-, them conscious when we do it, so Spike can help us fight from the inside."
The slayer picked up her coat from the chair. As she put it on, Dawn asked, "Where are you going, Buffy?"
I'm going to go check on something. I may know someone who can help us."
***
"Father?" Buffy asked, as she poked her head through the partially open office door. A middle-aged man, wearing black and priest's collar, looked up from his desk.
"Can I help you?"
"Father Michael?" she asked, to make sure she had the right father. When he nodded, she moved farther into the room. "Sister, um, Mary Josephine said you might be able to help me. I need an exorcism."
The man raised his eyebrows and looked at the young woman in front of him. While he did not doubt the possibility of demon possession, especially in Sunnydale, most who were possessed did not realize it themselves.
"Please, call me Father Mike." He gestured to the chain in front of Buffy. "Sit down. Tell me what the problem is. Perhaps you do not need such an extreme measure."
"Oh, it's not for me," Buffy hurried to explain. "It's for . . ." she paused slightly debating what to say. "a friend of mine. He's. . ."
"If your friend is truly possessed, I'd be happy to try and help." The pause had not gone unnoticed by Father Michael, and he wondered at its significance. "However, there are many mental illnesses that look like possession. Schizophrenia, multiple personality disorder, even severe depression. Have you consulted a physician? We should rule those out before we decide that your friend has a demon in him."
Buffy smiled slightly. "Oh, he's got a demon in him alright."
She wanted to get as much information as she could out of the priest before she told him that what she really wanted was to exorcise one demon from another. That way, if he backed out and she had to perform the exorcism, at least she'd know more than she did now.
"What makes you so sure?"
Buffy unflinchingly met his questioning gaze. "How long have you been in Sunnydale, Father?"
"Over twenty years."
"Then you know."
"Know what?" Father Michael knew the town was located on the Hellmouth. He knew about the countless demons and monsters that roamed the town's quiet streets when the sun set.
"There are things that go bump in the night. They're dangerous. One of them has taken control of my friend. I need your help to get it out. Can you help me?"
He realized as he looked at Buffy that her eyes spoke of witnessing too much evil in her short life. But they also shone with a determination to not allow evil to triumph, regardless of the price. He realized that if he refused to help, she would take action anyway.
"I can try."
He only hoped he could help with whatever had taken control of her friend.
tbc
+++++
A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Some fun and interesting ideas you all have. And don't worry; I haven't forgotten about anyone, especially stupid tabloid types who go poking around in vampires' crypts in the middle of the night… If you have anything you'd really like to see, let me know. I'm not making any promises, b/c I do have the story pretty much planned out, but that doesn't mean I'm not open to suggestions or gratuitous bribes.
Chapter 15
Anya didn't understand why everyone else was so confused by her suggestion. To her the situation was simple: to expel a demon from its host, exorcise it.
"An, honey," Xander started. "As much fun as I think performing an exorcism on Captain Peroxide would be, what with the holy water and stuff, wouldn't it hurt him?" Realizing he was defending the vampire, Xander shook his head. "Wait, I'm on board with the Spike hurting! Do you think we can make his head spin around?"
"Xander!" Dawn's hurt voice was enough to make the man duck his head.
"Well, you wouldn't use actual holy water, silly," Anya said. "Of course it would be different from a regular exorcism because you only want to exorcise one demon, not both. But the principle's the same."
"Um, okay, that's a good suggestion. Thank you, Anya," Buffy said, hoping to placate the ex-vengeance demon. "Why don't you guys start looking for other options – just so we've looked at all the possibilities – and I'll call Giles and see what he thinks. I need to let him know that we're all still alive." She glanced at Spike's body. "Sort of."
***
"Okay, thanks, Giles. Bye." Buffy hung up the phone, deep in thought. She turned to the research table and when she finally focused on her friends, found them waiting for her to speak.
"Well, Giles thinks an exorcism is probably our best bet, although still not a really good bet. I think." The blonde shook her head and waved her hand vaguely. "He had some kind of gambling metaphor."
"See?" Anya asked, laying down the book she was looking through, unabashedly revealing the bridal magazine she had hidden inside it. "You should listen to me more."
"Okay, exorcism time," Willow said, nodding her head decisively. "Um, do we know anyone who can do an exorcism?"
"Giles said one of us could probably do it, preferably you or me," she nodded at Willow. "It just has to be a strong person. Mentally. Not that the rest of you aren't strong, but we've both had lots of practice. Course that's sort of like magic, for you, Wills, so… But since this isn't your normal exorcism, he said it would be better to try and find a priest or something rather than going the 'Exorcism for Dummies' route."
"He actually said 'Exorcism for Dummies?'" Tara asked, raising her eyebrow in amusement.
"Well, he used bigger words and a lot more of them, but, basically, yeah."
"Oh!" Willow exclaimed and started snapping her fingers, trying to remember the idea that was tickling at the edge of her mind. "Wasn't there a priest that helped us once? That Thanksgiving with the bear and Xander's . . ." She trailed off sheepishly, glancing at her best friend.
"Xander's funny syphilis?" the man in question asked, sarcastically.
"Yeah. Maybe he can-" Willow cut herself off abruptly, remembering that Buffy had found the holy man murdered. "…be dead and not really of any use to us."
"Anybody know any other priestly types?" Buffy asked. When she was met with a round of shrugged shoulders and negative head shaking, she sighed. "Yeah, none of us are exactly poster children for conventional religion."
"Couldn't we just go to churches and ask?" Anya questioned, always in favor of the direct approach.
"I can hear it now." Willow rolled her eyes at Anya's suggestion. "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. Oh, and by the way, I need you to do an exorcism on a vampire. Yeah, they're real. And see, here's the thing. We've got two vampires in one body, and we want to you to evict one, but leave the other alone. Right."
"And what do you propose, Willow?" Anya demanded, tired of having her perfectly reasonable ideas mocked. "Kidnapping a priest and forcing him to do it at stake-point? Or maybe, there's a spell and you could do it."
"Okay!" Buffy cut in cheerfully, trying to break up the rapidly escalating argument. "Why don't Xander and Anya go visit some churches and see what they can find out? You guys might want to try Willy's too. Wills, get on the net and see what you can find in the 'do-it-yourself exorcism' category, just in case. Tara and Dawn, keep researching other options."
Buffy picked up the tranquilizer gun and handed it to Tara. "Keep an eye on him," she instructed, nodding at the chained vampire on the floor." Knock him out if he wakes up. He tried to put me in thrall earlier. But use a low dose. We'll need him-, them conscious when we do it, so Spike can help us fight from the inside."
The slayer picked up her coat from the chair. As she put it on, Dawn asked, "Where are you going, Buffy?"
I'm going to go check on something. I may know someone who can help us."
***
"Father?" Buffy asked, as she poked her head through the partially open office door. A middle-aged man, wearing black and priest's collar, looked up from his desk.
"Can I help you?"
"Father Michael?" she asked, to make sure she had the right father. When he nodded, she moved farther into the room. "Sister, um, Mary Josephine said you might be able to help me. I need an exorcism."
The man raised his eyebrows and looked at the young woman in front of him. While he did not doubt the possibility of demon possession, especially in Sunnydale, most who were possessed did not realize it themselves.
"Please, call me Father Mike." He gestured to the chain in front of Buffy. "Sit down. Tell me what the problem is. Perhaps you do not need such an extreme measure."
"Oh, it's not for me," Buffy hurried to explain. "It's for . . ." she paused slightly debating what to say. "a friend of mine. He's. . ."
"If your friend is truly possessed, I'd be happy to try and help." The pause had not gone unnoticed by Father Michael, and he wondered at its significance. "However, there are many mental illnesses that look like possession. Schizophrenia, multiple personality disorder, even severe depression. Have you consulted a physician? We should rule those out before we decide that your friend has a demon in him."
Buffy smiled slightly. "Oh, he's got a demon in him alright."
She wanted to get as much information as she could out of the priest before she told him that what she really wanted was to exorcise one demon from another. That way, if he backed out and she had to perform the exorcism, at least she'd know more than she did now.
"What makes you so sure?"
Buffy unflinchingly met his questioning gaze. "How long have you been in Sunnydale, Father?"
"Over twenty years."
"Then you know."
"Know what?" Father Michael knew the town was located on the Hellmouth. He knew about the countless demons and monsters that roamed the town's quiet streets when the sun set.
"There are things that go bump in the night. They're dangerous. One of them has taken control of my friend. I need your help to get it out. Can you help me?"
He realized as he looked at Buffy that her eyes spoke of witnessing too much evil in her short life. But they also shone with a determination to not allow evil to triumph, regardless of the price. He realized that if he refused to help, she would take action anyway.
"I can try."
He only hoped he could help with whatever had taken control of her friend.
tbc
+++++
A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Some fun and interesting ideas you all have. And don't worry; I haven't forgotten about anyone, especially stupid tabloid types who go poking around in vampires' crypts in the middle of the night… If you have anything you'd really like to see, let me know. I'm not making any promises, b/c I do have the story pretty much planned out, but that doesn't mean I'm not open to suggestions or gratuitous bribes.