Doesn't Anyone Stay Dead Around Here?
Chapter 23 – The Final Chapter
As soon as Buffy and the Master started fighting, Tara withdrew the key to Spike's manacles from her pocket and gave it to Anya. Then, she turned her attention to the fight, looking for some way to help. She glanced forlornly at the tranquilizer gun propped against the wall on the other side of the combatants.
Anya worked at the restraints. Spike, seeing the fight, was struggling to get out of the cuffs, and his movements made it difficult for Anya to place and keep the key in the locks.
As the Master bit into her neck and began to drain her life-force, Buffy struggled against him. She tried to buck him off, but his grip on her was too tight and well placed. That, combined with her ever-growing weakness due to blood loss, prevented Buffy from moving much at all.
Suddenly, she felt the Master's fangs being torn away from her neck and she struggled to sit up as his weight was removed from her.
"Get your bloody paws off my girl!" exclaimed a familiar British voice.
Spike pulled the Master off Buffy's body and decked him. As the two began to exchange blows, Tara rushed over to check on Buffy. The slayer sat up weakly and waved off the witch's help. Tara ignored her and pulled up the edge of the bedspread to staunch the wound on Buffy's throat.
"It's okay, Tara," she said. "Occupational hazard."
When Buffy saw that the witch wasn't convinced, she continued, "Really. He didn't get that much. I'll be fine."
The slayer gently pushed Tara's hand away and stood to join the fight. The two vampires were still exchanging blows. It was obvious, though, that the night's activities had taken a toll on both of them. Neither moved with the speed and grace she was used to seeing from Spike, nor that she expected from a vampire of the Master's years and lineage.
Buffy stood and surveyed the room, looking for a weapon. She noted that she would have to go through the combatants to reach either the weapons chest or the tranquilizer gun that leaned against it. *Didn't I have a stake before?* She felt in the small of her back, but it was gone. *Must have lost it during the last round.* She scanned the floor, but didn't see it anywhere.
Shrugging, she jumped up onto the mattress and crossed it in two quick steps.
As soon as she landed on the other side, she moved from behind the bed and called out in a singsong voice, "Don't you know it's not polite to attack your host?"
As the Master turned to find himself trapped between chipped vampire and slayer, she continued. "Get it? Because this is his house and you used his body to host your demon?"
When the Master failed to laugh, Buffy shrugged. "Guess we can't all appreciate the finer puns in life." Then she launched a kick at the Master's chest.
"I thought it was funny, pet." As he spoke, Spike initiated an attack on the Master from behind.
Tara had followed Buffy's gaze when the slayer looked for a weapon. *Where else?* the witch thought frantically. *Under the bed!* She dropped to her knees and picked up the now-bloodied edge of the bedspread. *Jackpot!* she thought as she reached into the darkness and pulled out an axe.
"Have you no honor, attacking an opponent from behind?" the Master sneered as he tried to fend off the two-sided assault.
"I'm evil!" Spike cried indignantly, as if that answered the other vampire's question.
"Yeah, evil like a de-clawed kitten," Buffy retorted, rolling her eyes. She landed an especially strong and well-placed kick to the Master's stomach, causing him to double over.
While the elder vampire was distracted, Tara pushed the axe she had found into Spike's hands. He nodded appreciatively and called, "Hey, nancy boy! Come to papa!"
When the Master turned to face Spike, the bleached-blonde swung the axe in a swift arc, cleanly decapitating his opponent. The Master's head fell to the floor and bounced once before the whole body exploded into dust.
"Huh," Buffy said. "Guess he was right about one thing."
The remaining vampire and the slayer both drifted slowly toward the bed. Each was worn out by the physical and emotional drain of the last few hours. Without realizing that they were moving in tandem, each sat on one side of the bed.
"What's that, Slayer?" Spike asked, his adrenaline receding now that the danger was past, allowing the after-effects of the tranquilizers to make themselves fully known. He laid back and stretched out on the bed, closing his eyes.
"I didn't kill him this time," she responded.
Spike grunted in response and then couldn't resist teasing, "I've never seen you go down that fast."
"Luck shot," was all Buffy said before she flopped back to lie next to him, one arm over her eyes. The battle was done and she could finally permit herself to acknowledge the effects of the blood loss.
"Buffy? Spike?" Tara asked. "Are you okay?"
"Hmm," was the slayer's noncommittal response.
Spike however, was still functioning enough to realize that it had been a while since he'd eaten. "Could go for some blood, luv."
"Orange juice," Buffy agreed. Then, realizing that the request might sound odd in the home of a vampire, she clarified for her friend. "Fridge."
She was too exhausted to care how it looked that she was lying beside her mortal enemy on his bed or that she had just admitted to knowing the contents of his fridge.
"Right," Tara said, "You just rest. I'll get it." She turned and gestured to Father Mike and Anya to precede her up the ladder. As Father Mike was climbing, Anya turned back to the pair on the bed.
"Enjoy the post-battle sex," she said with a bright smile. "Xander's always much sweeter after a dangerous fight."
A pair of twin groans arose from the bed and Tara shook her head, chuckling to herself. *Only Anya!*
***
A few days later, the gang gathered at the Summers' residence for dinner, even Spike. Dawn had insisted on the event to "prove that the house won't eat us again," as well as on the vampire's presence.
Spike had just walked through the back door to find Buffy, Tara, and Anya cooking, while Willow and Xander set the table in the dinning room.
"Hey guys!" Dawn called from the living room. "Come here, quick!"
The adults rushed into the other room, long ago having learned to instantly respond to any summons on the Hellmouth that included the word "quick." They found Dawn in front of the television and a familiar face on screen.
"Isn't that one of those news guys?" Willow asked as Blair introduced his story for the evening.
"In a small, quiet town in Southern California things truly do go bump in the night! But that's not the only thing to make this town unique. It has a real, live superhero. By day she's an ordinary girl, but at night she rids the town of the forces of darkness. She is," he paused dramatically, "the Demon Slayer!"
"I'm going to kill him," Buffy said calmly.
As Blair continued to narrate, the picture changed to footage of a cemetery at night. While the general viewing public would recognize it simply as a graveyard, all members of the Scooby Gang immediately recognized which of Sunnydale's twelve cemeteries it was.
"That's near my crypt!" Spike exclaimed.
Buffy paled, remembering the last tape she had seen taken near Spike's crypt. *If that's what this is, human or not, I really will kill them!*
A young woman entered the shot with her back to the camera. She was about Buffy's height and build, but her blonde hair fell down a good five or six inches longer than Buffy's currently did.
"Either that tape's way out of date or someone rebuilt the Buffybot," Dawn said. Six heads turned to look at Spike.
"What're you bloody well looking at me for?" he demanded, only half seriously. He figured he deserved any grief he got over the Bot.
On screen, the woman pulled what was clearly a stake from her pocket and stopped by a fresh grave. As a newly-turned vampire rose, she awkwardly staked him. Something about the way the woman on the screen moved tickled at Spike's memory.
*Oh, I'm gonna stake you! I'm coming after you, you bad, evil vampire, and I'm gonna slay you!*
"Bloody Hell!" he groaned a second before the woman turned to smile brightly and wave at the camera.
Dawn was the first to ask.
"Is that Harmony?"
The End
+++++
A/N: That's it, folks! I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for all the encouragement along the way! I can't stress that enough – THANK YOU! And while I relish the kind and even glowing reviews (I'm planning on printing them off to hang on the fridge), if you have any comments of a more constructively critical nature, I'd love to hear them so I can improve my writing for the next time around.
On that note, I do plan to write more in the future, but I know that real life is in the process of rearing its ugly head and it'll probably be three to four weeks before I get the chance. Take heart, though, I do have an idea brewing. Plus, hey – new Buffy tonight! Whoo-hoo! Even if it leaves me in a less-than-doing-the-Snoopy-Dance mood, it's still new! And speaking of new – holy-long-lost-son-who-grew-up-in-a-hell-dimension on the Angel homefront, Batman!
Again, thanks for reading! Haley
Chapter 23 – The Final Chapter
As soon as Buffy and the Master started fighting, Tara withdrew the key to Spike's manacles from her pocket and gave it to Anya. Then, she turned her attention to the fight, looking for some way to help. She glanced forlornly at the tranquilizer gun propped against the wall on the other side of the combatants.
Anya worked at the restraints. Spike, seeing the fight, was struggling to get out of the cuffs, and his movements made it difficult for Anya to place and keep the key in the locks.
As the Master bit into her neck and began to drain her life-force, Buffy struggled against him. She tried to buck him off, but his grip on her was too tight and well placed. That, combined with her ever-growing weakness due to blood loss, prevented Buffy from moving much at all.
Suddenly, she felt the Master's fangs being torn away from her neck and she struggled to sit up as his weight was removed from her.
"Get your bloody paws off my girl!" exclaimed a familiar British voice.
Spike pulled the Master off Buffy's body and decked him. As the two began to exchange blows, Tara rushed over to check on Buffy. The slayer sat up weakly and waved off the witch's help. Tara ignored her and pulled up the edge of the bedspread to staunch the wound on Buffy's throat.
"It's okay, Tara," she said. "Occupational hazard."
When Buffy saw that the witch wasn't convinced, she continued, "Really. He didn't get that much. I'll be fine."
The slayer gently pushed Tara's hand away and stood to join the fight. The two vampires were still exchanging blows. It was obvious, though, that the night's activities had taken a toll on both of them. Neither moved with the speed and grace she was used to seeing from Spike, nor that she expected from a vampire of the Master's years and lineage.
Buffy stood and surveyed the room, looking for a weapon. She noted that she would have to go through the combatants to reach either the weapons chest or the tranquilizer gun that leaned against it. *Didn't I have a stake before?* She felt in the small of her back, but it was gone. *Must have lost it during the last round.* She scanned the floor, but didn't see it anywhere.
Shrugging, she jumped up onto the mattress and crossed it in two quick steps.
As soon as she landed on the other side, she moved from behind the bed and called out in a singsong voice, "Don't you know it's not polite to attack your host?"
As the Master turned to find himself trapped between chipped vampire and slayer, she continued. "Get it? Because this is his house and you used his body to host your demon?"
When the Master failed to laugh, Buffy shrugged. "Guess we can't all appreciate the finer puns in life." Then she launched a kick at the Master's chest.
"I thought it was funny, pet." As he spoke, Spike initiated an attack on the Master from behind.
Tara had followed Buffy's gaze when the slayer looked for a weapon. *Where else?* the witch thought frantically. *Under the bed!* She dropped to her knees and picked up the now-bloodied edge of the bedspread. *Jackpot!* she thought as she reached into the darkness and pulled out an axe.
"Have you no honor, attacking an opponent from behind?" the Master sneered as he tried to fend off the two-sided assault.
"I'm evil!" Spike cried indignantly, as if that answered the other vampire's question.
"Yeah, evil like a de-clawed kitten," Buffy retorted, rolling her eyes. She landed an especially strong and well-placed kick to the Master's stomach, causing him to double over.
While the elder vampire was distracted, Tara pushed the axe she had found into Spike's hands. He nodded appreciatively and called, "Hey, nancy boy! Come to papa!"
When the Master turned to face Spike, the bleached-blonde swung the axe in a swift arc, cleanly decapitating his opponent. The Master's head fell to the floor and bounced once before the whole body exploded into dust.
"Huh," Buffy said. "Guess he was right about one thing."
The remaining vampire and the slayer both drifted slowly toward the bed. Each was worn out by the physical and emotional drain of the last few hours. Without realizing that they were moving in tandem, each sat on one side of the bed.
"What's that, Slayer?" Spike asked, his adrenaline receding now that the danger was past, allowing the after-effects of the tranquilizers to make themselves fully known. He laid back and stretched out on the bed, closing his eyes.
"I didn't kill him this time," she responded.
Spike grunted in response and then couldn't resist teasing, "I've never seen you go down that fast."
"Luck shot," was all Buffy said before she flopped back to lie next to him, one arm over her eyes. The battle was done and she could finally permit herself to acknowledge the effects of the blood loss.
"Buffy? Spike?" Tara asked. "Are you okay?"
"Hmm," was the slayer's noncommittal response.
Spike however, was still functioning enough to realize that it had been a while since he'd eaten. "Could go for some blood, luv."
"Orange juice," Buffy agreed. Then, realizing that the request might sound odd in the home of a vampire, she clarified for her friend. "Fridge."
She was too exhausted to care how it looked that she was lying beside her mortal enemy on his bed or that she had just admitted to knowing the contents of his fridge.
"Right," Tara said, "You just rest. I'll get it." She turned and gestured to Father Mike and Anya to precede her up the ladder. As Father Mike was climbing, Anya turned back to the pair on the bed.
"Enjoy the post-battle sex," she said with a bright smile. "Xander's always much sweeter after a dangerous fight."
A pair of twin groans arose from the bed and Tara shook her head, chuckling to herself. *Only Anya!*
***
A few days later, the gang gathered at the Summers' residence for dinner, even Spike. Dawn had insisted on the event to "prove that the house won't eat us again," as well as on the vampire's presence.
Spike had just walked through the back door to find Buffy, Tara, and Anya cooking, while Willow and Xander set the table in the dinning room.
"Hey guys!" Dawn called from the living room. "Come here, quick!"
The adults rushed into the other room, long ago having learned to instantly respond to any summons on the Hellmouth that included the word "quick." They found Dawn in front of the television and a familiar face on screen.
"Isn't that one of those news guys?" Willow asked as Blair introduced his story for the evening.
"In a small, quiet town in Southern California things truly do go bump in the night! But that's not the only thing to make this town unique. It has a real, live superhero. By day she's an ordinary girl, but at night she rids the town of the forces of darkness. She is," he paused dramatically, "the Demon Slayer!"
"I'm going to kill him," Buffy said calmly.
As Blair continued to narrate, the picture changed to footage of a cemetery at night. While the general viewing public would recognize it simply as a graveyard, all members of the Scooby Gang immediately recognized which of Sunnydale's twelve cemeteries it was.
"That's near my crypt!" Spike exclaimed.
Buffy paled, remembering the last tape she had seen taken near Spike's crypt. *If that's what this is, human or not, I really will kill them!*
A young woman entered the shot with her back to the camera. She was about Buffy's height and build, but her blonde hair fell down a good five or six inches longer than Buffy's currently did.
"Either that tape's way out of date or someone rebuilt the Buffybot," Dawn said. Six heads turned to look at Spike.
"What're you bloody well looking at me for?" he demanded, only half seriously. He figured he deserved any grief he got over the Bot.
On screen, the woman pulled what was clearly a stake from her pocket and stopped by a fresh grave. As a newly-turned vampire rose, she awkwardly staked him. Something about the way the woman on the screen moved tickled at Spike's memory.
*Oh, I'm gonna stake you! I'm coming after you, you bad, evil vampire, and I'm gonna slay you!*
"Bloody Hell!" he groaned a second before the woman turned to smile brightly and wave at the camera.
Dawn was the first to ask.
"Is that Harmony?"
The End
+++++
A/N: That's it, folks! I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for all the encouragement along the way! I can't stress that enough – THANK YOU! And while I relish the kind and even glowing reviews (I'm planning on printing them off to hang on the fridge), if you have any comments of a more constructively critical nature, I'd love to hear them so I can improve my writing for the next time around.
On that note, I do plan to write more in the future, but I know that real life is in the process of rearing its ugly head and it'll probably be three to four weeks before I get the chance. Take heart, though, I do have an idea brewing. Plus, hey – new Buffy tonight! Whoo-hoo! Even if it leaves me in a less-than-doing-the-Snoopy-Dance mood, it's still new! And speaking of new – holy-long-lost-son-who-grew-up-in-a-hell-dimension on the Angel homefront, Batman!
Again, thanks for reading! Haley