THE WINGS AFFAIR
ACT III : "Can't I Just Attend The Event Of Next Week Twice?"
The agents had previously agreed to meet once a day in a different part of the campus. Their first meeting, the day after their arrival, was to the south side of the cafeteria just after the lunch rush.
Solo was pushing a large trashcan on wheels when he spotted his partner poking at a tray of food at a distant table next to an overflowing trash can. He maneuvered the box on wheels near Illya's table and shook out a trash bag.
"Enjoying lunch?" He said lowly, working slowly.
"Is that what this is?" Illya growled. "How do American students get so big on a diet of beer and .." he frowned at the lumpy mass on his plate. "What ever this is?"
Napoleon wanted to keep this scene in his mind: Illya turning his nose up at food! "You don't have to use the meal pass, you know. I take it the fraternity lifestyle doesn't lend itself to borscht making?"
"Funny, Napoleon. And do you know what I found at the fraternity house when I got there yesterday?"
Solo hesitated. His partner found something out already? This may not take very long after all!
"A goat," Illya said amazingly before his partner could reply. "There was a live goat in the living room."
Solo returned to his work, taken aback. "Was it a girl goat?" Was all he could think to ask.
Illya dropped his fork in disgust. "I didn't check. And thank you for ruining my appetite. It seems one of the pledges has to take the goat everywhere with him all week." Illya pushed the tray aside and flipped open a notebook, trying to appear to study. "I am amazed these kids come away with any education at all."
"Well, they manage and they make sure to keep everything in perspective with plenty of fun along the way. I guess you stoic Russians don't have fraternities?"
"Not like this. At least I'm spared all the 'hazing' rituals because I'm listed as a transfer student. I do have to, ah, 'oversee' some of the events, though. The baseball house brothers are in charge of one of the events."
"Which is?" Solo prompted, driven by Illya's disgusted tone.
"Something about a Man in a Box," the blond agent stated. "I didn't ask any details."
"Sure it's not Genie in a Bottle?" Solo said hopefully, eyebrow raised.
"Napoleon, there are no females involved here, if that's what you're thinking." He slapped his notebook shut. "What am I saying? Of course that is what you are thinking."
"Look, Illya. You can get the job done and at the same time learn how to have just plain, innocent fun." Solo said grinning at his partner's unease. "You can learn how to loosen up!"
Illya stood and fixed his icy blue eyes on the dark haired agent for a second. "If I wanted to be loose, I could study you. Now I must get to class." He turned and walked away from his sputtering partner, the corner of his mouth curled into a satisfied grin.
*********************
The rest of the day passed rather quickly for Illya. He found it difficult to effectively inspect the campus as he found various frat brothers, cooing girls, or some mix of both usually surrounded him. He developed a theory that the letterman's jacket he wore acted like a people magnate. The interesting new addition to the house had caused a stir in the sororities, too.
"Do you always greet new Delts to the campus like this?" He inquired to a determined blonde that he couldn't seem to detach from his arm.
"Only the cute ones," she purred. "Do you have a date for the Rush Dance tomorrow?"
"Um. I think I may be busy .. " he started, but a house mate, Reggie, he recalled, pounded the agent on the back with a ham hand.
"I don't think so, brother! It's the event of the week and all the house will be there to welcome the new members."
Illya, after recovering his balance, replied, "Can't I just attend the event of next week twice?"
The group around him laughed loudly at the comment and the entire crowd moved like an amoeba towards the frat house. Reggie, football team member and Delts vice-president shooed away the non-Delts in the group, which happened to be all female, when they got to the house. "We have Delt business to attend to, ladies, so we'll meet with you later!"
The girls pouted and reluctantly let go of the various arms they had clung to possessively, regrouping into a giggling pack of pony tails mini skirts as they moved off the porch and towards their own houses.
"Let's go, men, the master awaits!" Reggie directed the group into the house. Illya followed obediently.
"The master?" Illya asked one of the beefy teens.
"Yeah, it's the annual opening pep talk from the advisor, Dr. Lindt. It's not too bad, really." The kid seemed rather blasé about the whole thing.
"Oh," Illya replied. He hadn't met Dr. Lindt yet and decided it was a good opportunity to do so.
"And he usually brings food!" The boy added.
When they entered the house, the living room area was packed and the younger members were moving around closing the drapes. Black lights and lava lamps seemed to egg on the rowdiness of the crowd as they munched on cookies that were set around the room in abundance and washed it down with beer from a lone keg in the corner.
"OK, Delts, settle down! Come on, men!" Reggie was standing on the stairs slightly above the crowd and next to another beefy Delt. "Jimmy has a few words for you, so grab a brew and close your yaps!"
Illya wondered about that combination of actions as he chewed a cookie and accepted the cup of foam pressed into his hand. Jimmy was the Delt president and all Illya could see in the weird light was the glowing white of his teeth, letter on his jacket and foam of the beer.
"Welcome back, boys, for another year of Aztec sports domination!"
The crowd cheered and beer rained down. Illya raised an eyebrow at the head butting ritual of the football crowd.
"Soon we will add more to our ranks, making the Delt House the envy of them all!"
Again, the comments were accented with boisterous cheers, rude noises and spraying beer. As they were cheering Illya noticed a man descending the stairs behind Jimmy and Reggie. He was dressed in dark clothes and hard to see in the shadows, but there was a reflection of light in his round glasses where his eyes would be on a pale face. The agent wasn't able to place him at all, and tried to get closer through the pressing crowd for a better look. The man came to a stop next to Jimmy and stood with his hands clasped in front of him. He was very small next to the hefty Delts.
Reggie motioned with his hands for the group to settle down, which it did eventually. When all was fairly calm Lindt stepped down and stood in front of Reggie and Jimmy.
"Hello, boys, and welcome back!" Cheers and raised glasses. "It's good to see you all back and ready for a new year!"
Illya found himself staring at the reflection in the round glasses and after an undetermined time noticed that he hadn't heard a word Lindt had said, but instead had tuned in on the melodious rhythm of his speech. He blinked hard, shook his head slightly and glanced at the faces close to him. He had no idea how long they had been standing there, but the once rowdy crowd now seemed mesmerized, their eyes glassy and locked onto Lindt. Illya immediately turned back to face the man so he didn't stand out from the crowd, but his mind was racing.
They are hypnotized! He realized immediately. He glanced at the remains of the cookie in his hand and slipped it in his pocket. He hadn't eaten the whole thing, and thankfully U.N.C.L.E. routinely conditioned agents against the influences of hypnotism. Drugs, however, were another thing and he was glad he ingested only had a small amount of the cookie especially if his suspicions were correct.
Illya began to focus on what Lindt was saying. It was a repeating statement: 'Now's the time for you to listen, and these orders to be followed.' The agent had no idea how many times the statement had been repeated, as he had focused on the rhythm rather than the words. Lindt then raised his hands and said loudly, "Remember, Delts, and act when called! Now let's hear it for the Aztecs!"
That phrase snapped the crowd from its reverie, and they all cheered loudly. 'Louie, Louie' started playing loudly in the background, and the windows and doors were flung open to the evening air. As the party burst into action, the Delts seemed completely unaware as to what had just happened. Illya watched Lindt step from the stairs into the crowd and disappear.
Illya fought his way through the massive bodies in the direction Lindt had gone, but was unable to catch him. By the time he got to the back door and stepped out, all he saw was a dark sedan pull away from the curb. He cursed his luck. Meanwhile, the air throbbed with the loud music inside the house as the Delts partied on.
*********************
Napoleon Solo entered his apartment with a sigh of resignation as he dumped his windbreaker on the worn chair. He'd had a full and busy day 'cleaning' the offices of the top five faculty members in his stack of files. There hadn't been anything even remotely suspicious in the science professors' offices, save one locked journal stuffed far back in a drawer of one office. When Solo had picked the lock he was both disappointed and delighted at what he found; this particular professor had a thing for several students over the years and there were some pretty revealing entries in there! No wonder he kept it at work rather than home! The agent had a difficult time tearing himself away from that distraction.
Other than that he couldn't believe how boring these men were. He'd just unbuttoned his work shirt and was pouring himself a scotch on the rocks when he heard his communicator warble. He snatched it from the pocket of his shirt and opened it
"Solo here."
"Find anything interesting in the trash today?" His partner's voice asked curiously. Solo could just see his smirk.
"Well, depends on what you call interesting, but, no, nothing relevant to the case." He could also see his partner's cocked eyebrow at the reply.
"Well, I certainly have," Kuryakin said.
"Could you speak a little louder?" Napoleon asked, hearing a chorus of 'Barbara Ann' being sung along with a very loud record in the background. "I hear proof that those boys aren't music majors."
There was a thump and Solo overheard Illya say, "No, thanks," and "excuse me", then a definitely feminine voice said, "Hey, honey, where you off to?" Now it was Napoleon's turn to raise his eyebrow at the pen device. Then he shook his head when he heard Illya say, "Excuse me, I have to go over there." Leave it to my partner to reel them in then run away, he thought with a grin.
Finally, the bang of a door lessened the noise. "OK, I have a name for you to check out." Illya started.
"Is it that of the lovely voice you just brushed off?" He asked playfully.
Illya snorted. "Hardly. But I do have a contingency lining up to escort me to the Rush Dance," he added in retaliation. "I hate to accept one and then run out on them."
Solo's humor dried up. "Such problems. What's the name?"
"All I have is Lindt. He teaches in the Psychology Department and coaches the tennis team. I think his first name is Alphonse. Everyone here just calls him Dr. Lindt."
"Why the interest?"
"Well, he just hypnotized the entire house, en mass."
Solo's jaw dropped, but he recovered quickly. "Really? Well that is something. I'm not even sure he's in our pile of files here. How did he do it? I mean, I get the impression that those boys don't concentrate on much except their sport."
"That's the other thing," Illya said. "I have a cookie to get analyzed, so I need to get it to you. Meet you at drop point in a half hour? I'll give you the details then."
"OK, see you there."'
"Kuryakin out."
Leave it to Illya to get a whole new angle on the case! Napoleon thought as he put the pen away and changed clothes for the meeting.