Redux
By KateF - kathrynf@gmx.net
October 2001
Disclaimer: Paramount still owns Star Trek: Voyager, though I don't exactly like what they did with it.
Author's Note: This story is dedicated to Caffey. Thanks for being a friend I can confide in, thanks for being a faithful JCer. Thanks for actually writing something to the end. Or attempting to, anyway. 8)
Acknowledgements: Thank you to Caffey, Sylvia, Jade and Ala for their input. *hugz* Thank you sooooo much for actually betaing the whole thing, Bex! *HUGZ TIGHTLY*
@ -;-- 0 --;- @
Kathryn slowly opened her eyes, almost certain the light would be bright once again. She was sure she would find herself in sickbay. But instead, she was greeted only by darkness and the light illumination that came from the stars streaking by her window. Confused, she called for lights to find herself in her own quarters. Suddenly, it all made sense, formed a clear picture in her head. If this were her quarters this was the day. The day he died. And there was still time to prevent all that. A grin was spread across her features, as she wanted to embrace the world. Everything would be all right, unless....
Kathryn sobered. What time was it? Was he still alive? Was he there? She hesitated before she hit her commbadge.
"Janeway to Chakotay, please come in," she managed as she counted the seconds to his reply.
"Chakotay, here. Geez, Kathryn, do you have any idea what time it is?" His reply came.
Kathryn let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding and broke into tears. He was alive. He was really alive.
"Kathryn?" He asked worried.
"Chakotay," was all she managed to sob.
"Hang on, I will be right there," he assured before he cut the connection.
@ -;--
She heard the doors to her quarters slide apart and someone rush inside, stop abruptly to get his bearings and then enter her bedroom.
Through her tears she saw his concerned face, his body only clad in boxers. He surely made for one handsome sight.
She sighed. She never thought this would work, she never thought she would see him again, the real him, not his cryptic second self from the spirit world that seemed to be New Earth for the two of them.
As she broke into tears again, he was by her side immediately, standing next to the bed. He tilted his head as if he wanted to ask for permission to join her on it. She moved enough to indicate that he was welcome to.
That was all invitation he ever needed as he crawled in next to her and cradled her into his arms, soothing her with gentle words and the constant stroking of her back.
As she had quieted to some degree, Chakotay lifted her head with his thumb, his fingers gently brushing away the tears.
"What's up, Kathryn? What bothers you so much?" He whispered, letting his lips briefly caress her forehead.
"It's a long story," Kathryn replied, her voice still a little unsteady from her outburst.
"And you're going to tell me every little detail, Kathryn. We have two hours until we have to get up, so, do tell." He insisted.
"I was planning to tell you everything anyway," Kathryn murmured into his chest, burying her face into him.
As much as he loved the sensations her voice and her hot breath on his naked chest evoked, it didn't help a lot to actually comprehend what she was saying, so he lifted her head again, and motioned her to begin, catching her eyes with his and never letting them go until she finished.
Kathryn told him everything. All the pain she felt as she had learned that he was dead, her slow journey back in time. Her plea not to have him die today.
Her vow to undo all that had happened.
Through all this Chakotay had grown pale. "You're saying - oh my," was all he managed to mutter as shock got the better of him.
"That's what I was saying," she sighed. "You're going to stay in your quarters today, mister. Or in mine. Everything else is off limit for you," Kathryn emphasized every word with a stab of her finger to his chest.
"Gladly, ma'am. Are you staying too?" He asked, feeling like taking a risk once in a while.
She sighed, hugging him close. "I would love to, but I have to prevent an accident."
"Didn't I die trying to rescue you?" Chakotay asked, bewildered.
"Yes," Kathryn began only to be cut off again.
"Then you're staying right here with me, Kathryn, I am not going to let you go to the bridge and die. We may not get another chance at correcting the wrong." His face showed nothing but determination.
"No," she insisted. "The plan is to prevent the accident altogether. Voyager will have shields on as soon as they are near, we will greet them and we will never have all this happen."
"Then why can't I be on the bridge with you?"
"I am not taking any chances, Chakotay. I've lost you once. I am not going to let this happen ever again. Not before I haven't told you that I love you and that I can't live on without you. If this doesn't work and if you die, I am going to die with you. I am going to end my life, and I am going to stay with you at our river forever."
Chakotay gulped at her words, and what they meant. "You what?"
"I will kill myself if you are killed."
"No, no, I will have to talk you out of that one later, first things first, you what?"
"Oh, that one," Kathryn chuckled. "I was pretty sure you would stop listening at that part, doubting your hearing abilities."
"You what?" He asked yet again, his mouth gaping open.
"I love you, stupid."
"That's why I am not allowed to be on the bridge today, right?" He asked bewildered.
"Yes, that's the reason," Kathryn assured him.
"I can live with that," he chuckled, rolling her over so that he was pinning her to the bed with his body. He hovered above her, kissing the remaining tears from her face, tracing them down to her chin with his tongue, he then hovered above her mouth, sharing her breath, teasing her. They almost touched for a long moment, each of them lost in the other's eyes.
Then he took chances and kissed her, lightly at first, their lips barely touching as he sent butterfly kisses from one corner to the other. She smiled into his caress as her hands snaked around his head, drawing him yet closer, her tongue demanding entry. He sucked it in willingly as their kiss grew more and more passionate. As both couldn't hold out any longer, they broke for air each missing the feel of the other immediately.
Chakotay pulled back slightly, grinning contently. "You just made my life, Kathryn."
"I certainly hope so," she grinned contentedly. "You have no idea how glad I am to have you back," she sighed, motioning for him to roll them over.
He did as he was told, sprawling her over his chest. "I love you," she sighed. "I don't want to lose you again."
"Promise me one thing," Chakotay whispered.
"Yes?" She asked.
"Tell me the same tonight while we are having dinner. Take me to your bed tonight and let me have you in my arms all night, then in the morning you will begin your free day kissing me, having breakfast and then we will talk all day."
"I promise," she kissed him briefly, "I promise."
"Good, because I will not let you pull back again. I will have nothing of that. You're in this now, Kathryn and I will never let you go again. We talk tonight?"
"Yes," she murmured into his chest letting her eyes drift shut.
@ -;--
She felt someone nibbling her earlobe, then trailing kisses down her spine. She sighed contentedly leaning into his touch. "Sleep," she sighed. "Want to sleep. Go back to sleep." Her mind was running on very basic thought that moment.
He wouldn't let her. "You have to get dressed now," he teased, rolling her into the position they fell asleep in again.
"No, sleep. Sleep, then dressing," she whispered almost awake.
"Kathryn the alarm told you to get up a minute ago," he shook her gently.
"No, no alarm," she murmured, yet again producing very pleasant sensations.
"Kathryn, you have to keep me from dying today, remember? Tomorrow we can sleep in."
She was wide-awake suddenly. "You're right," she sighed, hurrying out of bed. "I will be right back." Kathryn called over her shoulder as she retreated into the bathroom.
@ -;--
Tuvok had looked slightly taken aback as Kathryn had told him she had ordered Chakotay to take the day off. She had known this would happen and promised him a briefing later the day. There were two possible ways this could end. One with him, one without him. Kathryn was sure now more than ever that she would not survive losing Chakotay. Her life would be ended if that happened.
She counted the hours to the attack, then the minutes. She even counted the seconds to Harry's announcement.
"I have a ship on long range sensors, Captain." She was right. She had the moment memorised to the exact moment it started.
"On screen," she ordered. "Report, Harry," she added turning towards him.
"The ship will meet us in about thirty minutes," he contemplated. "It is not on an intercept course."
Of course, Kathryn knew all that and her thoughts drifted off as she tried to look as if she concentrated on Harry's words. She seemed to succeed as he rambled on without an end in sight.
"Thank you, Harry," she managed finally, "Inform me when they are within hailing range."
"Aye, ma'am," he answered.
All she could do now was wait and hope. Naturally, her thoughts wandered back to what had happened that morning. She remembered his sweet kisses, how good a pillow his chest made and his sweet words of love. She froze at that and reconsidered. That bastard. He hadn't said it. He hadn't said that he loved her. He had deliberately left it out in the open. Of course, she had no doubt by now that he did love her, but he hadn't said so out loud. He was saving something for later, something for after she rescued them. It was frustrating.
Harry Kim who announced that the ship was approaching pulled her out of her revery.
"Raise shields," Kathryn announced.
"Captain?" Tuvok asked. "This is not Starfleet protocol."
"Call it a hunch, Tuvok, or whatever, but raise shields."
Tuvok seemed to consider it for a moment, then did as he was told. "Shields raised," he stated.
Kathryn nodded as she made her way up to Harry. Her eyes travelled to the ceiling over and over again as she eyed the panel that had come loose the last time this happened.
Suddenly the ship rocked with the impact of a phaser shot. If Vulcans could look shocked and astonished, Tuvok certainly did at that moment.
"Report," Kathryn bellowed, glad that the panel was still in its original place.
"They shot at us," Tuvok still seemed to be in a state of shock.
"I know that, Tuvok, damage report?"
"Shields are down to 75%, no other damage reported."
Kathryn breathed in deeply, then she grinned.
"How could you tell, Captain? How did you know?"
"It is a long story," Kathryn sighed.
"We're being hailed, Captain," Tuvok stated.
"On screen," Kathryn ordered.
@ -;--
A furry creature apeared on the viewscreen. The language, of course, was a blur. The computer struggled for a while as the alien babbled on and on. Finally something got through. "Are you all right?" he asked, obviously in worry. He reminded her even more of her childhood teddy bear than the other one. He had something about him that made one want to just cuddle him all day.
"Yes, we're okay, no harm was done. May I ask why you chose to shoot at my ship?" Kathryn asked, already knowing the answer.
"It was a malfunction in the power cells of the phaser relay. This wasn't intended, believe me it wasn't, Captain-" he paused.
"Janeway, I am Captain Kathryn Janeway, this is my ship, Voyager."
"My name is Captain Gerbil of the Jhim'a. I am glad you're all fine. And I apologize for what has happened. You won't shoot back, will you?" He asked as lines of worry wrinkled his round face.
"Don't worry, Captain. We are not a hostile race. And I believe that it has been an accident. No damage was done, so there is nothing to take revenge for and thus no reason to shoot at you. We only fight to defend ourselves or others, this is not one of the occasions." Kathryn assured him.
"That is very comforting," Gerbil smiled with genuine happiness. "Very, very comforting."
"Would you like my Chief Engineer have a look at your engines?" Kathryn asked, smiling at the alien. "She's great at her job and maybe she can help you fix this problem."
"That would be nice, Captain," the alien agreed.
They talked for a while and discussed a trade treaty. The furry creatures had rich resources including a seemingly unlimited amount of plants and dilithium. They were more than happy to share it all with Voyager's crew.
Maybe the captain was aware of how close he had come to being killed. He knew Voyager was superior to his little trade ship.
@ -;--
Kathryn strode into her quarters with a definite swing to her steps. She had met several crewmembers on her way back and all had nodded at her but kept their distance as if to stay on the safe side. Was a captain that radiated utter joy and happiness such a strange concept? She wondered when she had last been that happy aboard Voyager. She halted abruptly as she realized it was the first time. The first time she was truly happy aboard this ship. No wonder her crew was scared. She had never showed any emotions in front of them, not such extreme that was. But she couldn't stop grinning like an idiot. She had finally got all the happiness she ever wanted but never dared to allow herself.
She sighed as she heard and felt him approach from behind her. As he breathed down her neck her legs threatened to give way under her. His breath was replaced with lips as she leaned into him steadying herself.
He took advantage of that as he sneaked his arms around her waist, pulling her tighter against him.
"You made it," he whispered in between feathery kisses.
She tilted her head to allow him better access as she moaned with contentment. "I did and I scared my crew."
"You scare them every single day, Kathryn," he laughed, spinning her around so that he could see her reaction. He was astonished at how much love and happiness seemed to radiate from every fibre of her being.
"I do, but today was special. I scared them because I was truly happy. Right after I scared them because I knew what would happen. You know what?"
"What?" He challenged.
"They could actually deal with my knowing what would happen. They could deal with that. But Harry almost fainted as I winked at him when I left the bridge with a huge grin spreading from one ear to another."
"And I bet it didn't leave your face until you were here. Well, it's still there, actually," he grinned, lifting his index finger to trace it. "There it is."
"You're right, of course," she answered, trying to catch his finger in her mouth and failing miserably. Attempting to pout, Kathryn gave up on it almost instantly and added: "They never backed away from me that fast before. Not even when I was at my worst."
Chakotay chuckled. "You can be evil. And when you look like this, you're at your most evil."
"I've never looked like this, they can't tell," Kathryn sighed, repeating what she had found out earlier.
"You have," he kissed her forehead. "On New Earth, you have."
She closed her eyes as she remembered. "Yes, you are the reason whenever I do, I hope you know that, Chakotay," she whispered.
"Oh yes, and I hope you know that I love you."
"You didn't say it this morning deliberately, did you?"
"Guilty as charged. It was hard not to, but I had to." Chakotay admitted.
"Why?" Kathryn asked, needing to know the answer, although deep down inside her, she already knew it.
"You had to have a reason to fight," he grinned.
"Oh come on," she shook her head. "I'd have fought for you anyway."
"Sure, but this made it way nicer," his grin spread wider and wider.
"Watch it, mister, I might have to put you into the brig for distracting the captain."
"You wouldn't," he put a hand onto her stomach which responded with a low growl. He laughed, "I'd say someone is hungry here."
"You're once again wheedling yourself out of a discussion, mister," she teased him only to be silenced by a tender kiss.
"Yes, and you love me doing that."
"Oh yes," she agreed.
@ -;--
They had retreated to her couch after a long meal. They had been chatting even more than usual, constantly teasing each other. She had decided that she would keep him if it only were for his cooking skills. She hadn't felt that full since the last time he cooked for her.
She sighed as she lowered her head to rest on his lap. She stretched her legs, sighing yet again.
His hands began stroking her hair, as he grinned down at her.
"What?" she asked, challenging him.
"I still can't believe that you're mine," he whispered.
"Yours?" She pouted. "And here I thought you're mine."
He laughed leaning down to kiss her. "I like that thought."
"Me too," she grinned against his lips.
@ -;--
"Kath?" Chakotay groaned.
"Hmmmm?" She sighed, opening in her eyes.
"I think we should go somewhere more comfortable. I don't feel my neck anymore. My legs fell asleep together with you."
"It's your cooking," Kathryn grinned, stretching to wake up some. "It makes me sleepy."
"Then I will make sure not to cook again anytime soon," he challenged her.
"No way, mister. Bed?" She suggested.
"Oh yes," he cackled, swooping her up into his arms.
He carried her into her bedroom, lowering her to the bed. Kissing her again, he crawled onto it as well, kicking his shoes away.
By KateF - kathrynf@gmx.net
October 2001
Disclaimer: Paramount still owns Star Trek: Voyager, though I don't exactly like what they did with it.
Author's Note: This story is dedicated to Caffey. Thanks for being a friend I can confide in, thanks for being a faithful JCer. Thanks for actually writing something to the end. Or attempting to, anyway. 8)
Acknowledgements: Thank you to Caffey, Sylvia, Jade and Ala for their input. *hugz* Thank you sooooo much for actually betaing the whole thing, Bex! *HUGZ TIGHTLY*
@ -;-- 0 --;- @
Kathryn slowly opened her eyes, almost certain the light would be bright once again. She was sure she would find herself in sickbay. But instead, she was greeted only by darkness and the light illumination that came from the stars streaking by her window. Confused, she called for lights to find herself in her own quarters. Suddenly, it all made sense, formed a clear picture in her head. If this were her quarters this was the day. The day he died. And there was still time to prevent all that. A grin was spread across her features, as she wanted to embrace the world. Everything would be all right, unless....
Kathryn sobered. What time was it? Was he still alive? Was he there? She hesitated before she hit her commbadge.
"Janeway to Chakotay, please come in," she managed as she counted the seconds to his reply.
"Chakotay, here. Geez, Kathryn, do you have any idea what time it is?" His reply came.
Kathryn let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding and broke into tears. He was alive. He was really alive.
"Kathryn?" He asked worried.
"Chakotay," was all she managed to sob.
"Hang on, I will be right there," he assured before he cut the connection.
@ -;--
She heard the doors to her quarters slide apart and someone rush inside, stop abruptly to get his bearings and then enter her bedroom.
Through her tears she saw his concerned face, his body only clad in boxers. He surely made for one handsome sight.
She sighed. She never thought this would work, she never thought she would see him again, the real him, not his cryptic second self from the spirit world that seemed to be New Earth for the two of them.
As she broke into tears again, he was by her side immediately, standing next to the bed. He tilted his head as if he wanted to ask for permission to join her on it. She moved enough to indicate that he was welcome to.
That was all invitation he ever needed as he crawled in next to her and cradled her into his arms, soothing her with gentle words and the constant stroking of her back.
As she had quieted to some degree, Chakotay lifted her head with his thumb, his fingers gently brushing away the tears.
"What's up, Kathryn? What bothers you so much?" He whispered, letting his lips briefly caress her forehead.
"It's a long story," Kathryn replied, her voice still a little unsteady from her outburst.
"And you're going to tell me every little detail, Kathryn. We have two hours until we have to get up, so, do tell." He insisted.
"I was planning to tell you everything anyway," Kathryn murmured into his chest, burying her face into him.
As much as he loved the sensations her voice and her hot breath on his naked chest evoked, it didn't help a lot to actually comprehend what she was saying, so he lifted her head again, and motioned her to begin, catching her eyes with his and never letting them go until she finished.
Kathryn told him everything. All the pain she felt as she had learned that he was dead, her slow journey back in time. Her plea not to have him die today.
Her vow to undo all that had happened.
Through all this Chakotay had grown pale. "You're saying - oh my," was all he managed to mutter as shock got the better of him.
"That's what I was saying," she sighed. "You're going to stay in your quarters today, mister. Or in mine. Everything else is off limit for you," Kathryn emphasized every word with a stab of her finger to his chest.
"Gladly, ma'am. Are you staying too?" He asked, feeling like taking a risk once in a while.
She sighed, hugging him close. "I would love to, but I have to prevent an accident."
"Didn't I die trying to rescue you?" Chakotay asked, bewildered.
"Yes," Kathryn began only to be cut off again.
"Then you're staying right here with me, Kathryn, I am not going to let you go to the bridge and die. We may not get another chance at correcting the wrong." His face showed nothing but determination.
"No," she insisted. "The plan is to prevent the accident altogether. Voyager will have shields on as soon as they are near, we will greet them and we will never have all this happen."
"Then why can't I be on the bridge with you?"
"I am not taking any chances, Chakotay. I've lost you once. I am not going to let this happen ever again. Not before I haven't told you that I love you and that I can't live on without you. If this doesn't work and if you die, I am going to die with you. I am going to end my life, and I am going to stay with you at our river forever."
Chakotay gulped at her words, and what they meant. "You what?"
"I will kill myself if you are killed."
"No, no, I will have to talk you out of that one later, first things first, you what?"
"Oh, that one," Kathryn chuckled. "I was pretty sure you would stop listening at that part, doubting your hearing abilities."
"You what?" He asked yet again, his mouth gaping open.
"I love you, stupid."
"That's why I am not allowed to be on the bridge today, right?" He asked bewildered.
"Yes, that's the reason," Kathryn assured him.
"I can live with that," he chuckled, rolling her over so that he was pinning her to the bed with his body. He hovered above her, kissing the remaining tears from her face, tracing them down to her chin with his tongue, he then hovered above her mouth, sharing her breath, teasing her. They almost touched for a long moment, each of them lost in the other's eyes.
Then he took chances and kissed her, lightly at first, their lips barely touching as he sent butterfly kisses from one corner to the other. She smiled into his caress as her hands snaked around his head, drawing him yet closer, her tongue demanding entry. He sucked it in willingly as their kiss grew more and more passionate. As both couldn't hold out any longer, they broke for air each missing the feel of the other immediately.
Chakotay pulled back slightly, grinning contently. "You just made my life, Kathryn."
"I certainly hope so," she grinned contentedly. "You have no idea how glad I am to have you back," she sighed, motioning for him to roll them over.
He did as he was told, sprawling her over his chest. "I love you," she sighed. "I don't want to lose you again."
"Promise me one thing," Chakotay whispered.
"Yes?" She asked.
"Tell me the same tonight while we are having dinner. Take me to your bed tonight and let me have you in my arms all night, then in the morning you will begin your free day kissing me, having breakfast and then we will talk all day."
"I promise," she kissed him briefly, "I promise."
"Good, because I will not let you pull back again. I will have nothing of that. You're in this now, Kathryn and I will never let you go again. We talk tonight?"
"Yes," she murmured into his chest letting her eyes drift shut.
@ -;--
She felt someone nibbling her earlobe, then trailing kisses down her spine. She sighed contentedly leaning into his touch. "Sleep," she sighed. "Want to sleep. Go back to sleep." Her mind was running on very basic thought that moment.
He wouldn't let her. "You have to get dressed now," he teased, rolling her into the position they fell asleep in again.
"No, sleep. Sleep, then dressing," she whispered almost awake.
"Kathryn the alarm told you to get up a minute ago," he shook her gently.
"No, no alarm," she murmured, yet again producing very pleasant sensations.
"Kathryn, you have to keep me from dying today, remember? Tomorrow we can sleep in."
She was wide-awake suddenly. "You're right," she sighed, hurrying out of bed. "I will be right back." Kathryn called over her shoulder as she retreated into the bathroom.
@ -;--
Tuvok had looked slightly taken aback as Kathryn had told him she had ordered Chakotay to take the day off. She had known this would happen and promised him a briefing later the day. There were two possible ways this could end. One with him, one without him. Kathryn was sure now more than ever that she would not survive losing Chakotay. Her life would be ended if that happened.
She counted the hours to the attack, then the minutes. She even counted the seconds to Harry's announcement.
"I have a ship on long range sensors, Captain." She was right. She had the moment memorised to the exact moment it started.
"On screen," she ordered. "Report, Harry," she added turning towards him.
"The ship will meet us in about thirty minutes," he contemplated. "It is not on an intercept course."
Of course, Kathryn knew all that and her thoughts drifted off as she tried to look as if she concentrated on Harry's words. She seemed to succeed as he rambled on without an end in sight.
"Thank you, Harry," she managed finally, "Inform me when they are within hailing range."
"Aye, ma'am," he answered.
All she could do now was wait and hope. Naturally, her thoughts wandered back to what had happened that morning. She remembered his sweet kisses, how good a pillow his chest made and his sweet words of love. She froze at that and reconsidered. That bastard. He hadn't said it. He hadn't said that he loved her. He had deliberately left it out in the open. Of course, she had no doubt by now that he did love her, but he hadn't said so out loud. He was saving something for later, something for after she rescued them. It was frustrating.
Harry Kim who announced that the ship was approaching pulled her out of her revery.
"Raise shields," Kathryn announced.
"Captain?" Tuvok asked. "This is not Starfleet protocol."
"Call it a hunch, Tuvok, or whatever, but raise shields."
Tuvok seemed to consider it for a moment, then did as he was told. "Shields raised," he stated.
Kathryn nodded as she made her way up to Harry. Her eyes travelled to the ceiling over and over again as she eyed the panel that had come loose the last time this happened.
Suddenly the ship rocked with the impact of a phaser shot. If Vulcans could look shocked and astonished, Tuvok certainly did at that moment.
"Report," Kathryn bellowed, glad that the panel was still in its original place.
"They shot at us," Tuvok still seemed to be in a state of shock.
"I know that, Tuvok, damage report?"
"Shields are down to 75%, no other damage reported."
Kathryn breathed in deeply, then she grinned.
"How could you tell, Captain? How did you know?"
"It is a long story," Kathryn sighed.
"We're being hailed, Captain," Tuvok stated.
"On screen," Kathryn ordered.
@ -;--
A furry creature apeared on the viewscreen. The language, of course, was a blur. The computer struggled for a while as the alien babbled on and on. Finally something got through. "Are you all right?" he asked, obviously in worry. He reminded her even more of her childhood teddy bear than the other one. He had something about him that made one want to just cuddle him all day.
"Yes, we're okay, no harm was done. May I ask why you chose to shoot at my ship?" Kathryn asked, already knowing the answer.
"It was a malfunction in the power cells of the phaser relay. This wasn't intended, believe me it wasn't, Captain-" he paused.
"Janeway, I am Captain Kathryn Janeway, this is my ship, Voyager."
"My name is Captain Gerbil of the Jhim'a. I am glad you're all fine. And I apologize for what has happened. You won't shoot back, will you?" He asked as lines of worry wrinkled his round face.
"Don't worry, Captain. We are not a hostile race. And I believe that it has been an accident. No damage was done, so there is nothing to take revenge for and thus no reason to shoot at you. We only fight to defend ourselves or others, this is not one of the occasions." Kathryn assured him.
"That is very comforting," Gerbil smiled with genuine happiness. "Very, very comforting."
"Would you like my Chief Engineer have a look at your engines?" Kathryn asked, smiling at the alien. "She's great at her job and maybe she can help you fix this problem."
"That would be nice, Captain," the alien agreed.
They talked for a while and discussed a trade treaty. The furry creatures had rich resources including a seemingly unlimited amount of plants and dilithium. They were more than happy to share it all with Voyager's crew.
Maybe the captain was aware of how close he had come to being killed. He knew Voyager was superior to his little trade ship.
@ -;--
Kathryn strode into her quarters with a definite swing to her steps. She had met several crewmembers on her way back and all had nodded at her but kept their distance as if to stay on the safe side. Was a captain that radiated utter joy and happiness such a strange concept? She wondered when she had last been that happy aboard Voyager. She halted abruptly as she realized it was the first time. The first time she was truly happy aboard this ship. No wonder her crew was scared. She had never showed any emotions in front of them, not such extreme that was. But she couldn't stop grinning like an idiot. She had finally got all the happiness she ever wanted but never dared to allow herself.
She sighed as she heard and felt him approach from behind her. As he breathed down her neck her legs threatened to give way under her. His breath was replaced with lips as she leaned into him steadying herself.
He took advantage of that as he sneaked his arms around her waist, pulling her tighter against him.
"You made it," he whispered in between feathery kisses.
She tilted her head to allow him better access as she moaned with contentment. "I did and I scared my crew."
"You scare them every single day, Kathryn," he laughed, spinning her around so that he could see her reaction. He was astonished at how much love and happiness seemed to radiate from every fibre of her being.
"I do, but today was special. I scared them because I was truly happy. Right after I scared them because I knew what would happen. You know what?"
"What?" He challenged.
"They could actually deal with my knowing what would happen. They could deal with that. But Harry almost fainted as I winked at him when I left the bridge with a huge grin spreading from one ear to another."
"And I bet it didn't leave your face until you were here. Well, it's still there, actually," he grinned, lifting his index finger to trace it. "There it is."
"You're right, of course," she answered, trying to catch his finger in her mouth and failing miserably. Attempting to pout, Kathryn gave up on it almost instantly and added: "They never backed away from me that fast before. Not even when I was at my worst."
Chakotay chuckled. "You can be evil. And when you look like this, you're at your most evil."
"I've never looked like this, they can't tell," Kathryn sighed, repeating what she had found out earlier.
"You have," he kissed her forehead. "On New Earth, you have."
She closed her eyes as she remembered. "Yes, you are the reason whenever I do, I hope you know that, Chakotay," she whispered.
"Oh yes, and I hope you know that I love you."
"You didn't say it this morning deliberately, did you?"
"Guilty as charged. It was hard not to, but I had to." Chakotay admitted.
"Why?" Kathryn asked, needing to know the answer, although deep down inside her, she already knew it.
"You had to have a reason to fight," he grinned.
"Oh come on," she shook her head. "I'd have fought for you anyway."
"Sure, but this made it way nicer," his grin spread wider and wider.
"Watch it, mister, I might have to put you into the brig for distracting the captain."
"You wouldn't," he put a hand onto her stomach which responded with a low growl. He laughed, "I'd say someone is hungry here."
"You're once again wheedling yourself out of a discussion, mister," she teased him only to be silenced by a tender kiss.
"Yes, and you love me doing that."
"Oh yes," she agreed.
@ -;--
They had retreated to her couch after a long meal. They had been chatting even more than usual, constantly teasing each other. She had decided that she would keep him if it only were for his cooking skills. She hadn't felt that full since the last time he cooked for her.
She sighed as she lowered her head to rest on his lap. She stretched her legs, sighing yet again.
His hands began stroking her hair, as he grinned down at her.
"What?" she asked, challenging him.
"I still can't believe that you're mine," he whispered.
"Yours?" She pouted. "And here I thought you're mine."
He laughed leaning down to kiss her. "I like that thought."
"Me too," she grinned against his lips.
@ -;--
"Kath?" Chakotay groaned.
"Hmmmm?" She sighed, opening in her eyes.
"I think we should go somewhere more comfortable. I don't feel my neck anymore. My legs fell asleep together with you."
"It's your cooking," Kathryn grinned, stretching to wake up some. "It makes me sleepy."
"Then I will make sure not to cook again anytime soon," he challenged her.
"No way, mister. Bed?" She suggested.
"Oh yes," he cackled, swooping her up into his arms.
He carried her into her bedroom, lowering her to the bed. Kissing her again, he crawled onto it as well, kicking his shoes away.