Disclaimer: I like tacos
Oh And Star Trek was not created by me.
If it was, well……….. Just be glad it wasn't.
Chapter 6
May I Please Have Another Helping of Insanity?
On the Enterprise everything was ready to go. McCoy checked for the last time the equipment hidden behind the wall at the back of the transporter chamber. Supposedly, as soon as each Klingon materialized, a pin-sized dart would shoot out of the wall and inject the liquid aspirin. If nothing went wrong, the Klingons would be under their control fifteen seconds after arriving on the Enterprise. Everyone had been encouraged by the creativity of the plan. Captain Kirk was feeling confident in this solution as he watched the final preparations and he was glad that he had a senior staff that he could rely on to voice any objections if they had them.
"It won't work Jim!"
Kirk sighed. With three minutes to go until Klingons boarded the Enterprise armed, and ready to kill, he should have seen this coming.
"Yes, it will!"
"No, it won't."
"Bones, you're killing me here."
"Well if I don't, the Klingon Commander will be more than happy to take over where I have failed."
"Very funny Doctor. Besides, it's your plan, are you telling me it is flawed."
"I object sir,"
"Well then, what is the problem!"
"Nothing Captain, sighed the doctor as he stood up from kneeling on the transporter room floor and stretched the kinks out of his back. "This little contraption of mine is sure to work. If nothing Glitches, and despite Scotty's faith in his ship I'm not totally confident in that, AND If the liquid aspirin takes affect when I think it will, AND if It stays in the blood stream for at least two hours, AND if nobody from that twenty man force of security guards you have out in the hall prematurely fires a phaser killing or wounding one of the Klingons and inadvertently getting us all killed, THEN it will work."
Kirk told the doctor in some rather colorful terms that, "it will work", and huffed out of the room to tell his security force to double check their phasers to make sure that they were locked into the stun position.
================================================
Eliza Stanton's stomach was complaining. She was alone on the bridge of the Enterprise, again. She looked out the screen at the Klingon bird of Prey and was amazed that such a little ship could hold the Enterprise at bay. After having been killed in the sight of the Klingons, Kirk thought it a smart move not to have her there when they came on board. So, Eliza was left out of the fun. Twirling around in the chair again, she felt the first tingle of acute boredom climb into her brain. She glanced at the chronometer. Ensigns Chekov and Brikosa were supposed to join her in a minute. Chekov was always fun to talk to, and Brikosa was a walking laugh riot. Brikosa was a Rigellian and as beautiful as they came. She was also a good person to talk to whenever a problem came up. Despite her distinctly vulcanoid look, people warmed up to her quickly.
"It's the ears, you see," Bri had explained one night after an intense game of tennis with Eliza, "They have their advantages. Annoying people never hit me up for money, but I'm thinking of getting them triple pierced, just for flair of course. What do you think?"
Yes, Brikosa's personality was definitely unique.
Eliza grinned as she heard the intercom announce the arrival of the Klingons. After the Captain finished executing Bri and Chekov they would come up and save her from another attack of bridge boredom while the Captain and Mr. Spock kept the Klingons running around in circles for the next two hours.
===============================
As Kraal materialized on the Enterprise he felt a strange sensation, as if all of his inhibitions had left him. As he looked around he spotted the earthers. Two of them were standing directly in front of the transporter. They were absolutely disgusting and seemed to be begging Kraal to kill them. He would be glad to put them all out of their misery.
It was not hard to slip away from the group and make his way into the depths of the humans ship. After checking a map on the computer in an empty room, Kraal made his way through the silent hall towards the security section three levels down.
==============================================
Kirk was staring at the Klingons as they materialized upon his ship. Whether McCoy's shots had worked or not he decided he would go on with his charade as long as he could.
"Commander, I have discovered other operatives aboard my ship. I would ask your permission as conquering commander of this ship to allow me to execute them before the challenge of the rubber band commences."
The Klingon commander blinked twice as if he was not quite sure of where he was. His men moved and swayed as if they had just disembarked from a very fast sonicoaster. The commander then nodded for Kirk to proceed. Kirk bowed at the waist and Ensigns Chekov and Brikosa were brought forward.
"For Mutiny and conspiracy in the third degree, how do you plead?"
Chekov tried to lunge at the Captain but a security guard easily held him back.
"I would be wery glad to die knowing the Klingons vill succeed in tearing you to pieces you damn Cossack!"
"And I," Brikosa put in, "Am only sorry I had not the chance to kill you myself. I wanted to kill you very slowly and savor your screams of agony you pompous two nosed son of a wolguisi bird!"
Kirk turned to McCoy who proffered two large rubber bands. The Doctor was trying not to laugh a Brikosa's odd insult. He had been to Rigel before and the Wolguisi bird was a very popular dish. Calling the Captain a son of a Wolguisi bird was like a human calling his enemy a porterhouse steak.
Kirk latched the rubber bands around his pointer fingers and pulled back using his thumbs as triggers.
"I'll take that as a concession of guilt. You are here by sentenced to death."
He fired
The two ensigns twitched, fell, and died.
"Now commander," said Captain Kirk as the bodies were carried out of the room, "The death match is to be held in the rec room. Unfortunately, your attack spread live wires, nerve gas, and tiny laughing clowns with grenades on decks six and ten so we'll have to take the long way around. If you would please follow me?"
Kirk held his breath. They would know now if McCoy's contraption had worked.
The Klingon Leader leaned close to Kirk.
His warriors gripped their weapons.
He growled.
"Laughing clowns with grenades are indeed a serious problem," said the Klingon with concern, "My warriors will take care of them after the match. Lead the way. We will be watching you closely so none of your shifty earther tricks, Kirk!"
Kirk gladly led the way.
Oh And Star Trek was not created by me.
If it was, well……….. Just be glad it wasn't.
Chapter 6
May I Please Have Another Helping of Insanity?
On the Enterprise everything was ready to go. McCoy checked for the last time the equipment hidden behind the wall at the back of the transporter chamber. Supposedly, as soon as each Klingon materialized, a pin-sized dart would shoot out of the wall and inject the liquid aspirin. If nothing went wrong, the Klingons would be under their control fifteen seconds after arriving on the Enterprise. Everyone had been encouraged by the creativity of the plan. Captain Kirk was feeling confident in this solution as he watched the final preparations and he was glad that he had a senior staff that he could rely on to voice any objections if they had them.
"It won't work Jim!"
Kirk sighed. With three minutes to go until Klingons boarded the Enterprise armed, and ready to kill, he should have seen this coming.
"Yes, it will!"
"No, it won't."
"Bones, you're killing me here."
"Well if I don't, the Klingon Commander will be more than happy to take over where I have failed."
"Very funny Doctor. Besides, it's your plan, are you telling me it is flawed."
"I object sir,"
"Well then, what is the problem!"
"Nothing Captain, sighed the doctor as he stood up from kneeling on the transporter room floor and stretched the kinks out of his back. "This little contraption of mine is sure to work. If nothing Glitches, and despite Scotty's faith in his ship I'm not totally confident in that, AND If the liquid aspirin takes affect when I think it will, AND if It stays in the blood stream for at least two hours, AND if nobody from that twenty man force of security guards you have out in the hall prematurely fires a phaser killing or wounding one of the Klingons and inadvertently getting us all killed, THEN it will work."
Kirk told the doctor in some rather colorful terms that, "it will work", and huffed out of the room to tell his security force to double check their phasers to make sure that they were locked into the stun position.
================================================
Eliza Stanton's stomach was complaining. She was alone on the bridge of the Enterprise, again. She looked out the screen at the Klingon bird of Prey and was amazed that such a little ship could hold the Enterprise at bay. After having been killed in the sight of the Klingons, Kirk thought it a smart move not to have her there when they came on board. So, Eliza was left out of the fun. Twirling around in the chair again, she felt the first tingle of acute boredom climb into her brain. She glanced at the chronometer. Ensigns Chekov and Brikosa were supposed to join her in a minute. Chekov was always fun to talk to, and Brikosa was a walking laugh riot. Brikosa was a Rigellian and as beautiful as they came. She was also a good person to talk to whenever a problem came up. Despite her distinctly vulcanoid look, people warmed up to her quickly.
"It's the ears, you see," Bri had explained one night after an intense game of tennis with Eliza, "They have their advantages. Annoying people never hit me up for money, but I'm thinking of getting them triple pierced, just for flair of course. What do you think?"
Yes, Brikosa's personality was definitely unique.
Eliza grinned as she heard the intercom announce the arrival of the Klingons. After the Captain finished executing Bri and Chekov they would come up and save her from another attack of bridge boredom while the Captain and Mr. Spock kept the Klingons running around in circles for the next two hours.
===============================
As Kraal materialized on the Enterprise he felt a strange sensation, as if all of his inhibitions had left him. As he looked around he spotted the earthers. Two of them were standing directly in front of the transporter. They were absolutely disgusting and seemed to be begging Kraal to kill them. He would be glad to put them all out of their misery.
It was not hard to slip away from the group and make his way into the depths of the humans ship. After checking a map on the computer in an empty room, Kraal made his way through the silent hall towards the security section three levels down.
==============================================
Kirk was staring at the Klingons as they materialized upon his ship. Whether McCoy's shots had worked or not he decided he would go on with his charade as long as he could.
"Commander, I have discovered other operatives aboard my ship. I would ask your permission as conquering commander of this ship to allow me to execute them before the challenge of the rubber band commences."
The Klingon commander blinked twice as if he was not quite sure of where he was. His men moved and swayed as if they had just disembarked from a very fast sonicoaster. The commander then nodded for Kirk to proceed. Kirk bowed at the waist and Ensigns Chekov and Brikosa were brought forward.
"For Mutiny and conspiracy in the third degree, how do you plead?"
Chekov tried to lunge at the Captain but a security guard easily held him back.
"I would be wery glad to die knowing the Klingons vill succeed in tearing you to pieces you damn Cossack!"
"And I," Brikosa put in, "Am only sorry I had not the chance to kill you myself. I wanted to kill you very slowly and savor your screams of agony you pompous two nosed son of a wolguisi bird!"
Kirk turned to McCoy who proffered two large rubber bands. The Doctor was trying not to laugh a Brikosa's odd insult. He had been to Rigel before and the Wolguisi bird was a very popular dish. Calling the Captain a son of a Wolguisi bird was like a human calling his enemy a porterhouse steak.
Kirk latched the rubber bands around his pointer fingers and pulled back using his thumbs as triggers.
"I'll take that as a concession of guilt. You are here by sentenced to death."
He fired
The two ensigns twitched, fell, and died.
"Now commander," said Captain Kirk as the bodies were carried out of the room, "The death match is to be held in the rec room. Unfortunately, your attack spread live wires, nerve gas, and tiny laughing clowns with grenades on decks six and ten so we'll have to take the long way around. If you would please follow me?"
Kirk held his breath. They would know now if McCoy's contraption had worked.
The Klingon Leader leaned close to Kirk.
His warriors gripped their weapons.
He growled.
"Laughing clowns with grenades are indeed a serious problem," said the Klingon with concern, "My warriors will take care of them after the match. Lead the way. We will be watching you closely so none of your shifty earther tricks, Kirk!"
Kirk gladly led the way.