Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek, but I freely admit that Dr. McCoy
inspired my title from a line in "City on the Edge of Forever" (
PLEASE DON'T SUE THE POOR COLLEGE STUDENT!
Chapter Seven: Drinking from the Wrong Bottle
Doctor Serita, chief botanist on the USS Enterprise, had made a terrible mistake.
Because she was chief botanist she usually didn't make terrible mistakes. Serita was always professional through and through despite her young age. (Only twenty summers by her home planets calendar) She was in charge of all gardens botanical labs and plant life on the USS Enterprise, and occasionally was called by the Captain or Doctor McCoy do some very strange things. Once She had been called to reprogram the transporter sensors to beam all tribbles off of the ship, and researching all know natural chemicals in the Federation to find one that might reverse accelerated aging processes. Now she was making it so the extra particle adjuster in the main transporter room shot out pins of liquid aspirin. In any case or problem, her job description failed to accurately depict everything she did on the Enterprise.
Getting herself stoned, however, was not one of those usual occurrences.
She had accidentally pricked herself with one of the pins as she was assisting Doctor McCoy with the final adjustments. As everyone well knew, for humans, Liquid Aspirin would only have a slight relaxing effect, but Serita was a Corellian, and her genetic make up was more closely related to the Klingons than any other known species.
Serita had begun to feel the effect right away and brought one of her hands to the delicate ridges on her forehead. It was hot, almost feverish. She realized that if she didn't make it back to sickbay fast, she would collapse. Her slight avian frame couldn't take the stresses the drug would put on her frail muscles and bones. She silently edged away from the group; spread her long silver wings for balance, and half ran half floated out the door.
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Out in the hall, she had first run into Ensign Chekov who was suggesting to Ensign Brikosa that the Captain should tell the Klingons that there were beautiful Orion dancing girls coming out of the walls of the Enterprise.
"And the vould be carrying trays that held glasses of wodka," he added, "It vould be wery funny to see the Klingons drool over women that are not really there!"
"Yes, it would," agreed Brikosa, " but the Captains first idea is a better one. I can't wait to see their reactions in any case. Are you ready to get shot?"
"Are you kidding, execution was invented by the Russians!"
After that, getting to the turbolift proved to be a challenging task as the drug began to take affect. Avoiding all of the green women coming out of nowhere, with trays if intoxication beverages, was hard as well.
She made it all the way to the turbo lift, braced herself against the wall, and locked her double-jointed knees. Here eyes watered and she blinked, trying to clear the bright purple irises.
"Deck Seven, Please." She whispered to the lift computer and brushed a wisp of feathery black hair away from her face.
The intercom announced that the Klingons had come aboard. The Captain had ordered that his conversations with the Klingons be broadcasted to all decks so that the rest of the crew would know what the Klingons were supposed to be seeing when they were under the influence of the drug. When Captain Kirk mentioned deck seven, she groaned and prepared herself for the worst.
When the lift doors opened, the onslaught of little laughing clowns with hand grenades was almost more than she could bear. She shut the doors quickly and rerouted the lift to deck five.
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PLEASE DON'T SUE THE POOR COLLEGE STUDENT!
Chapter Seven: Drinking from the Wrong Bottle
Doctor Serita, chief botanist on the USS Enterprise, had made a terrible mistake.
Because she was chief botanist she usually didn't make terrible mistakes. Serita was always professional through and through despite her young age. (Only twenty summers by her home planets calendar) She was in charge of all gardens botanical labs and plant life on the USS Enterprise, and occasionally was called by the Captain or Doctor McCoy do some very strange things. Once She had been called to reprogram the transporter sensors to beam all tribbles off of the ship, and researching all know natural chemicals in the Federation to find one that might reverse accelerated aging processes. Now she was making it so the extra particle adjuster in the main transporter room shot out pins of liquid aspirin. In any case or problem, her job description failed to accurately depict everything she did on the Enterprise.
Getting herself stoned, however, was not one of those usual occurrences.
She had accidentally pricked herself with one of the pins as she was assisting Doctor McCoy with the final adjustments. As everyone well knew, for humans, Liquid Aspirin would only have a slight relaxing effect, but Serita was a Corellian, and her genetic make up was more closely related to the Klingons than any other known species.
Serita had begun to feel the effect right away and brought one of her hands to the delicate ridges on her forehead. It was hot, almost feverish. She realized that if she didn't make it back to sickbay fast, she would collapse. Her slight avian frame couldn't take the stresses the drug would put on her frail muscles and bones. She silently edged away from the group; spread her long silver wings for balance, and half ran half floated out the door.
---------------------------------------------
Out in the hall, she had first run into Ensign Chekov who was suggesting to Ensign Brikosa that the Captain should tell the Klingons that there were beautiful Orion dancing girls coming out of the walls of the Enterprise.
"And the vould be carrying trays that held glasses of wodka," he added, "It vould be wery funny to see the Klingons drool over women that are not really there!"
"Yes, it would," agreed Brikosa, " but the Captains first idea is a better one. I can't wait to see their reactions in any case. Are you ready to get shot?"
"Are you kidding, execution was invented by the Russians!"
After that, getting to the turbolift proved to be a challenging task as the drug began to take affect. Avoiding all of the green women coming out of nowhere, with trays if intoxication beverages, was hard as well.
She made it all the way to the turbo lift, braced herself against the wall, and locked her double-jointed knees. Here eyes watered and she blinked, trying to clear the bright purple irises.
"Deck Seven, Please." She whispered to the lift computer and brushed a wisp of feathery black hair away from her face.
The intercom announced that the Klingons had come aboard. The Captain had ordered that his conversations with the Klingons be broadcasted to all decks so that the rest of the crew would know what the Klingons were supposed to be seeing when they were under the influence of the drug. When Captain Kirk mentioned deck seven, she groaned and prepared herself for the worst.
When the lift doors opened, the onslaught of little laughing clowns with hand grenades was almost more than she could bear. She shut the doors quickly and rerouted the lift to deck five.
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