** For those of you who knew my fanfic ideas, you might have known of my idea of Solid Snake VS. The Olympics... well, since the Olympics doesn't really strike anyone anymore, I just made a fanfic on the stupidity of cooking shows instead!
Enjoy!!

Hit The Stove, Jack!

Chapter 1 - It's A Wonderful Loaf

Hideo Kojima (Metal Gear Solid's creator, etc.) sat at his desk, tapping his fingers. "I got the moves, oh babyyyyy!!!" he sang to himself. Then, his office door opened, and in entered Solid Snake, Raiden (both in their traditional sneaking suits... duh) and Otacon (for no apparent reason). Kojima jolted, and immediately took the pink-clown-afro wig off of his head. "Oh, hello there gentlemen." he muttered, stuffing the wig into his desk.
He cleared his throat and straightened up.
"So..uh... why are you here again?" he asked.
Snake sighed. "You said you wanted to talk to us," he grumbled, "Well, not Otacon, I dunno why HE'S here."
Otacon laughed nervously. "I just had that feeling, you know? That I HAD to be here!" he giggled.
Raiden shook his head. "He was on the computer until 4am again..." he sighed to Snake... and Otacon lowered his head.

"ANYWAYS," Hideo said, beginning to pace. "I called you here because I just got reports from our accountant that Konami doesn't cover ALL the media genres." Snake shrugged. "So? How's that bad?" he asked. Hideo rubbed his head. How was it bad? HOW WAS IT BAD!? ...You see, to Hideo, Konami was like a wife, or at least a lover of some sort. ...That was because he couldn't afford his own love. Yup, the mail-order brides were way too expensive for him. Oh, Hideo, you devil.
"It's BAD," Raiden interrupted, "because that way Konami can't take over the world!!" he said. Hideo jolted, and shoved the world map he also had into his desk.

"No no no!! That's not it at all!!
You see, because now that Metal Gear Solid 2 is... how to say;
'old news' in the media world, and we can't even begin on Metal Gear Solid 3... or whatever...
the staff and I have decided on a way to not only promote our Metal Gear series...
but to ALSO promote good health and such in our gamers..."

Hideo smiled proudly at himself for sounding so professional, then he tripped over his own feet.

Raiden perked up. "So... we're having our own Fitness program!?" he asked all excitedly.
Hideo stood back up, then shook his head.
"Oh no no no no no!!!" he said, "You guys are getting your own... cooking show!!"