Squidward was having a nice time in his backyard sipping tea and reading the newspaper. The weather was perfect and it was sunny and bright. Spongebob had gone on vacation to Jellyfish Land and Patrick was…well…I don't know what Patrick was doing. He looked up from his paper and noticed the Bikini Bottom carnival was in town.

"Aw heck, why not?"

He put down his paper and went inside. He got his money and left to go to the carnival. As he walked out the door, he saw Patrick sitting in front of his house.

"Patrick, what are you doing?!"

"I'm eating mayonnaise Squidward. And I'm also listening to The Lobsters." (used that instead of the Beatles.)

"Yeah, that's nice Patrick, NOW GET OFF MY PROPERTY!"

"Squidward, what does alphabetical mean?"

"PATRICK!"

"What? Is there something on my face?"

"No!"

"Is there a giant, hairy 75-story tall monster behind me that wants to rule all earth and its people?"

"NO!"

"THEN WHAT IS IT!"

"Let me put this simply, GET-OFF-MY-PROPERTY!"

"Ahhh! I sat on Property! Oh no, I killed her! She's gone!"

"JUST, oh, just get off the sand, Patrick."

"Oh no, now I killed Sand!"

Squidward walked over, picked up Patrick, and placed him in his own yard. That's when Spongebob pulled up in the bus.

"Hi guys, how ya been without me?"

"I'm a murderer Spongebob, a murderer! I killed Property and Sand! I'm so ashamed!"