I'd Rather Be In Love: Chapter 2 - The Visit
By Kelly Brown
"You are way overreacting." Lorelai told Luke as they made their way through the front door of the large New York City hospital.
"I think my eardrums exploded."
Lorelai mockingly rolled her eyes. "Luke, it was just the radio."
"At twenty times the volume it should've been. That's bad for your ears, you know."
"Yes, Mr. Healthy, I realize that."
"Your gonna need a hearing aide before you even reach forty." Luke grumbled, as he fumbled with the buttons on the elevator.
"Impossible."
"Why is that impossible?"
"Because I don't plan on turning forty, I'm going to remain thirty-three for the rest of my life. You'll be jealous when I'm still bar-hopping in 2065 and your in one of those motorized wheelchairs trying to do wheelies on the sidewalk with a bunch of kids yelling 'Hey, look at that old guy in a motorized wheelchair trying to do wheelies on a sidewalk with a bunch of kids yelling 'Hey-."
"How do I even get into these insane conversations with you?" Luke sounded annoyed but she noticed a small smile appear on his face.
"Ha, admit it, you love it. Your life would be so incredibly boring if you didn't have me here to entertain you."
He just smiled and shook his head as they made their way down the long white corridor of the hospital until they finally reached the emergency wing and stood outside of the door where Liz was supposed to be.
Luke looked at the closed door and took in a deep breath.
Lorelai saw him staring at it. "Is this the right room?" She questioned.
"Yup." Luke replied while newly staring at his shoelaces.
She tugged on his arm and pushed him forward slightly. "C-mon, go in, I'll be right here if you need me."
"I don't wanna." Luke replied and backed away from the door.
"See, this is exactly why I'm here, to make you go in. Now, go, or I'll be forced to hurt you severely."
"Well, then I'm in the right place for it, huh?" Luke smiled, contented with his comeback.
Lorelai rolled her eyes. "That's not the point, you're-"
"Mr. Danes?"
Luke turned around and saw a neatly dressed doctor standing behind him with a clipboard.
"Are you Liz's doctor?" He stuttered, suddenly nervous.
"I certainly am and I have some excellent news for you."
Luke smiled broadly. "Great, what is it?"
"Your sister woke up this morning, the first time since the accident."
Luke and Lorelai turned to each other at same time, grinning furiously but looked surprised at the doctor's news. "Wow, that's great. Can I see her?"
"Yes you can, but I didn't tell you the bad news yet." He replied and looked at them sympatheticly.
Luke stepped closer to the doctor and saw Lorelai follow him out of the corner of his eye. "What? How can there be bad news? You just told me there was good news."
"Mr.-"
"No, there cannot be good news and bad news, it is either good or bad, but there's no both. You told me good news, let's just leave it at that, okay?" Luke's voice, rising.
"I understand you're nervous about your sister, but that doesn't deride the fact that along with the good news, there is, unfortunately, bad news, too."
Luke glanced back disappointedly at Lorelai, who was being unusually quiet. When he turned back around, he sighed and asked him what the bad news was.
"Well, along with the fact that she has woken up, we discovered that there were some other side effects to the accident then just the coma."
"What? What other side effects?" Luke tried to pry the information out of the doctor.
"Well we did some tests on her and discovered that the angle that the pole went into her head, her skull suffered some serious damage." He paused and waited for a reaction.
Luke waved his hands in thin air, telling him to continue. "Yeah, and?"
The man sighed. "And we'll be forced to operate on her tonight to repair the damaged and weakened portions of her skull. It's a very tedious and dangerous surgery, but we'll try our hardest to make sure she's as safe as possible."
Luke walked up into the man's face. "You'll....try? What kind of thing is that to say to a person?"
The doctor shrugged. "I'm sorry, but that's the truth."
The stern doctor paused for a moment while watching Luke digest this information. The doctor stiffened and pretended not to care. "She's in there if you wanna see her before the surgery." He pointed to the tightly closed door before turning the other way.
Luke watched the doctor as he walked away from him. He ran to catch up with him, Lorelai trailing close behind. When he got to the doctor, he was out of breath and shaken.
"C-mon, isn't there anything else you could do? Is this this really necessary?" Luke pleaded.
The doctor walked up to Luke carefully. "I'm sorry, but it's unavoidable."
He saw Luke's face sink into sadness. The doctor looked at him with hopeful eyes. "I promise we'll do our very best for her, okay?"
Luke sighed, not caring what the doctor was saying. "Yeah, whatever. Just....whatever."
Lorelai and Luke walked somberly back to Liz's hospital room door. He went to open it until he turned back around to Lorelai. She put on one of her beautiful smiles and hoped that he would smile back, but, instead, he went closer to her and stood inches apart from her face. She could see the familar tears from yesterday appearing in his eyes and her heart broke for him and even for Jess.
"Hey." She caressed his shoulder lightly. "Everything's gonna be alright, I know it."
"How do you know?" His voice crackled.
She leaned into him and rested her head on his chest, listening to the strong heartbeat pounding from inside. He slowly placed his hands up onto her back and rocked her back and forth. She unleashed herself from his grasp and looked into his eyes reassuringly.
"Because I just do, and you know as well as I do that I'm always right, so take my word for it." She smiled, however soon a single tear made it's way down her face when she saw him looking so helpless and broken.
Luke stiffened and managed to control himself from looking unconvinced. "Okay." He finally got out. "I'll, um, be right out and then maybe we can go get some coffee or something, you know, like that. Of course, I don't like coffee, but I could always order tea. Hey, I got a great idea, how about we do this later and go look for a coffee shop that sells both coffee and tea, huh?"
Lorelai smiled faintly and rubbed his arm. "You're stalling."
"I know, is it working?"
"Not at all, mister, now get your ass in there, I'll be right over there." She pointed to a nearby waiting area. "Now, you go, I'm fine." She nudged him in the arm softly.
"Okay." He faced the door but didn't budge, then he turned around again. "Are you sure you don't wanna come in with me, 'cause-"
"Luke, I'll be right over there." She hugged him tightly again. "Don't worry about it, it'll be alright." She whispered into his ear for good luck.
He crumbled down and looked upset still. "Jess should be here, his mother could die tonight and that jerk just couldn't come. He would rather sit in the apartment deciding if his favorite band should be Metallica or Nirvana, and not here with his sick mother." He looked angry again. "I tell you something, I am going to hunt down that little drunk bastard who did this and bash his skull in myself."
"Now, now, there's not gonna be any skull-bashing here tonight or I'll be forced to break that coffee-tea date we made for later, now go." She waved her hand toward the door.
"I'll see you in a few minutes." He smiled and turned back around.
"I'll be waiting for you right here." Lorelai reassured him and watched as he walked inside the room.
Luke entered the room, looking nervous, and practically shaking. He swallowed hard before pulling back the curtain that contained his mangled sister. He closed his eyes until he heard a small voice say his name. He blinked open his eyes and they fell on his sister, laying in a cheap bed with an oversized bandage wrapped around the top of her head in a spiral motion. He saw her dark brown locks of curls peek out through the wrap and hug tightly against her cheek and forehead. He slowly walked toward her then bent down and kissed the top of her head. Her soft curls touched his lips and he felt more tears coming on. He sat down on the bed next to her and looked at her somberly.
Her voice was hoarse and pain-filled. "Hey, Luke."
He gave her a warm smile, one he usually doesn't let many people see. "Hey, yourself." He grinned and pulled a card out from his pocket. "Here you go, it's a birthday card, the one I didn't send you four months ago, when your actual birthday was, because I was mad at you, but I'm not anymore, so...here, take it."
"Um, I really can't." She laughed and held up her casted hands. "Broke both of them."
"Oh, jeez, sorry. Here you go." He fumbled his way over to her table and set the card down so it was half-opened. "I guess you'll read it later then."
They were quiet for a little while until he took one of her bandaged hands in his and rubbed it softly. He looked down at her. "Your gonna be fine, Lorelai told me so." He smiled and laughed lightly. "She claims she's never wrong, so I wouldn't worry."
She nodded. "Your girlfriend?"
He looked uncomfortable. "Uh, no, just my friend. I mean, she's a girl but just my girl friend, not my girlfriend. Uh, I mean-"
"I know what you mean." She giggled. "Why is she here?"
Luke smiled and looked down sheepishly. "Well, we have this thing going about me driving her to the hospital when her dad was sick, so when I saw her today she told me she was taking me, I had no choice in the matter really." He smiled in remembrance. "She was scared to go in and see her dad and she had this insane idea that I would be scared too, but, you know, naturally...I wasn't."
She nodded, obviously unconvinced.
"Seriously, I wasn't."
She smiled. "Okay, if you say so."
"No, I really wasn't, I-"
"I believe you, calm yourself." She laughed and looked deep into his eyes, searching for something. "You came." She stated.
"What? Of course I came." He looked surprised and was taken aback. "You thought I wouldn't or something?"
"Well, we aren't really the best of friends." She smiled half-heartedly.
He looked crestfallen and schooched up the bed so he was nearer to her face. "I love you, Liz, very much. Don't you ever think otherwise, okay?"
"She nodded and her eyes turned watery. "Is Jess coming?"
Luke's faced blanked and he wasn't too sure how to let her know that her only son wasn't going to be there before she went into life-threatening surgery.
She looked down knowingly. "Nevermind, I already know the answer." Tears fell from her eyes and she bit down hard on her lip, then sniffled. "I must have been one awful mother for him not wanna see me before I get operated on."
"Um, actually, he doesn't know about the operation, yet." He got up from the bed and walked toward the phone. "I'll call him, now, and tell him. I'm sure he'll come right over."
"It's dead."
He began to dial. "Huh?"
"The phone, it's dead."
He placed the appliance back into it's cradle before going for the door.
"I'll use the phone at the desk, be right back."
She nodded and a small smile crept onto her bruised face. "Thanks, Luke."
"Oh, no problem." He shook his head.
"No, I mean, thanks....for everything you've done for me and Jess, it means a lot. And I know you're not that fond of kids, so....thanks."
He looked at her meaningfully and nodded. "Like I said, no problem."
He walked out the door and walked toward the desk. A snotty-looking nurse receptionist glared at Luke and he approached her precious desk.
"Hi, I'm sorry, but can I use your phone for a sec?" He asked politely.
"This phone is for nurses only and you do not look like a nurse now do you?"
Luke looked desperate. "I know, but could I just-"
"Don't you have a cell phone you could use or something?" She asked him haughitly.
"I wouldn't ask him that again if I were you." A voice came from behind Luke. He whipped around and saw Lorelai, cell phone in hand. "I on the other hand, do have a cell phone but mister ice-box, hand-dishwasher, non- cordless, non-electrical stove guy over here doesn't, so stop being so rude, you work in a hospital with worried and sick people for Christ's- sake, get some personality help." She placed the phone in Luke's hand. "Dial."
Luke sighed. "I cannot use this disgusting contraption for anything besides stepping on, so put it away."
She nodded. "I'll call. What's the number?"
"Uh, my apartment, I want Jess to come down here right away."
Lorelai's eyes froze. "Why? Did something happen?"
"Oh, no, no, Liz wants him here."
"Hey, how is she by the way?"
Luke nodded happily. "She looks good, you wannna meet her?"
"Hmmm, I thought we agreed you'd do this by yourself." Lorelai reminded him.
"I went in, I survived. It's your turn." He took her hand and gently pulled her in the direction of the room.
"Ugh, fine." She agreed and entered the room. She saw a woman and instantly knew that she had to be Luke's sister. She had the same brunette hair and looked cute with her half-smile, half-frown on.
She walked over to a chair and sat down. "Hey, I'm Lorelai. I'm Luke's-"
"Friend, he told me." She smiled.
"What else did he tell you?" She looked up at Luke and gave him a mocking evil eye.
Liz caught on. "Oh you know, the usual, your jail record, regular appearances in many major porn movies, gambling, hostages, etc... etc........"
"Ah, none of the bad stuff, I see." She winked at Liz.
"You two are strange." Luke sighed as he let his withered body relax into a soft, cushioned chair.
"You need to go home and rest." Liz told him.
Lorelai laughed. "Yeah, on his mattress?"
Luke looked up. "What's wrong with my mattress?"
"Not-counting the semi-murderous springs digging into your side at night, I'd say slim to nothing."
"I like my mattress." He glared at her.
"How could you like that mattress? What do you do, overdose on ibuprofen every night before you go to sleep?"
"Yes, along with my ten bottles of Tylenol." He rolled his eyes.
Liz laughed. "You guys are funny."
They continued their talking and laughing until the doctor tapped lightly on the door. "Are you Elizabeth Danes?"
She swallowed hard. "That would be me."
"Okay, we'll start the anesthetic procedure in about twenty minutes, okay?"
She nodded slowly as all expression left her face. Luke watched her as she pulled the covers up over her chest and gripped onto them tightly.
As soon as the doctor left, Luke gently nudged Lorelai in the arm and silently asked her to leave. She nodded and said good-bye to Liz and quickly hugged her. Once Luke and Liz were alone, he walked over to her and pulled her up gently from her laying position. He pulled her against his chest and cradled her in his arms, rubbing her back while she cried insanely into his soft flannel. His tears dripped onto her head wrap but he didn't bother to wipe them away, he just needed to hold his baby sister in his arms, trying to make all of her hurt disappear. When she pulled away, she wiped her eyes furiously.
"I'm sorry." She mumbled.
"It's okay." He frantically wiped his tears away, also.
They looked at each other for a moment until Liz crept closer to him.
"Luke? Could you do me a favor?" She asked him quietly.
He nodded. "Anything."
She wiped her nose and her tears again. "If anything should happen to me, could look after Jess for me and make sure he's okay, you know, forever?"
Luke's eyes flared. "Oh God! I forgot to call Jess!" He looked into her eyes apologetically. "Oh God, I'm such a jerk, I'm so sorry, I completely forgot with Lorelai and you and all, oh.." He hit himself hard on his forehead.
Liz shook her head. "I knew the whole time, don't worry about it, it's okay." She sighed and reached out to touch Luke's cheek with her cast. "I mean it, it's okay."
He took her hand. "Do you know why it's okay? Because nothing's gonna happen to you, anyway, so you'll see him tomorrow."
"Luke-"
"No, your gonna be fine. You will see Jess tomorrow, case closed." He rested her hand back down by her side.
She stared into space for a second and shook her head. "You know what's funny, Luke?"
"No, what?"
She laughed a fake kind of laugh. "After all the years of you and me squabbling and fighting, look at us now. I mean, I'm practically on my death bed and this is the lousy moment we choose to finally decide to get along. Man, you think you have forever to be with someone, and you don't, you know? Same with me and Jess, if only I could tell him how much I really love him."
He looked at her sternly. "Your gonna be fine." He stated, not backing down.
"And, in tenth grade, I had a friend named Charlie, who I had a huge, head- over-heels crush on. So, every single night, I wrote in my diary all of the things I would say to him when I finally confront him about my feelings. How I would spontaneously lean in and wham one on him when he'd turn around. Or, another scenario I liked was when we'd be studying together underneath a maple tree and in the middle of everything I would just tell him how I felt, and we would have this perfect moment together where we'd just kiss and kiss for hours."
"Well, what happened when you finally told him?" Luke asked, now interested.
"I never told him." She looked down and faced the rough, stained hospital blankets. "And now look at me, I could die in there and-"
"No! You are not, now stop it."
She just kept staring blankly in front of her. "I could die in there, and he'll never know how I feel. I would give anything to be given a second chance. If only I had a second chance, I wouldn't be so afraid of what he would say or what he would do. I wouldn't be so damn chicken."
"Miss. Mariano?" The doctor asked, standing in the doorway. "We're ready now."
She nodded and looked Luke in the eyes again. "Now, here comes my other favor."
Luke pulled her against him again. He whispered again. "Anything."
"If something happens to me, could you tell Jess how much I love him? And, maybe call Charlie Brooks, he lives in Hartford, and tell him what I told you? I would really appreciate it." She looked at him hopefully and he nodded.
"Sure, but I won't need to because-"
"I know, I know, just in case, okay?" She hugged him one last time before they placed her on a stretcher and exited the room, with Luke not far behind. As they were pushing her through the halls of the hospital, they heard a loud crash come from behind them. When Luke turned around, he saw a nurse sprawled on the ground with her medicine tray flying through the air, and then he saw Jess, racing toward them.
"Wait a minute!" He yelled, clawing his way through doctors to get to his mom.
"Jess! What are you doing here?" Liz looked amazed at the sight of her son running toward her.
"What's going on? Why are you on this thing?" He pointed to the stretcher. "Where are they taking you?"
"I need an operation on my head." Liz let him know, looking at him sadly. "I'm so sorry."
"Will you be okay?" Jess asked her, leaning closer to her, on the verge of tears. She nodded half-heartedly and reached her arms up and grabbed him, pulling him down on top of her. She furiously kissed the top of her head and whispered "I love you" into his ear.
After they wheeled Liz into the operating room, Luke and Jess were left standing in front of the doors, peering inside. After a while, Jess said he would meet Luke back at the apartment and that he wanted to visit with some of his old friends. Luke agreed silently by nodding his head, and still stared blankly into the hallway that led to the room they brought his sister. Luke smelled the aroma of coffee and quickly looked behind him, knowing who was there.
"Hey, your late for the coffee date, but don't worry, I forgive you." Lorelai said while walking over to where he was. "How did everything go?" She asked, more serious.
"Fine, she's in there now." He grinned. "Jess came."
"What!? Are you serious?" She exclaimed.
Luke nodded his head fiercely and kept smiling.
"Aw, wow, that's so great, Luke. Sorry about the call before, I forgot."
"Ah, that's okay. I forgot, too."
Lorelai smiled and they both set off to find the cafeteria. Once there, they decided to eat lunch. Luke bought vegetable soup while Lorelai had a burger, fries and more coffee.
She took in a large gulp of the coffee and swallowed making a distorted face. "Yuck."
"I told you coffee was disgusting, but would you listen to me? No." Luke added, smiling at her. His eyes haven't left her's since they got there and he had no intention of pulling them away. He wanted to spend as much time with her as possible, fearful that she might not be there forever.
"Your coffee isn't disgusting, just this crackhead's coffee is."
"This person can't make good coffee so they're automatically assumed to be a crackhead?"
"Yup."
They sat there silently for a while until Lorelai was done with her burger. They walked out of the hospital and over to Lorelai's Jeep.
Luke got behind the wheel. "Get in the passenger side." He told her.
"Okay, why?" She asked as she climbed in next to Luke.
"Because you drove me all the way here, I'll drive you all the way back. It's only fair." He looked over at Lorelai and got a small twinkle in his eye. "Thanks for staying there all that time, you didn't have to, you know. I coulda got a cab or something or took the bus."
"Well, spending the day with you was nice, um, except the fact that we were at the hospital did put a little damper on the day."
They drove quietly all the way to Lorelai's house. He parked the car and both of them stared in front of them.
"You wanna know something real scary?" He asked her and turned to face her.
"Sure." She did the same and faced him.
"Your were right about a number of things today." He admitted.
"Of course I was, I'm always right."
"You told me Jess would go to the hospital and he did, you told me I would be afraid to go in and see Liz and I was and you told me that I would miss you if you weren't there anymore and I would." He turned away from her eyes. "I'm gonna tell you something big, okay?"
"Okay."
"But you have to promise not to laugh or make fun of me or anything, agreed?"
"Agreed."
Luke sighed. "Okay, here it goes." He paused for a while, not looking at her. "Dammit! Why have I not been preparing for this?" He leaned back against his seat and shook his head mournfully. "Forget it, just forget it. I'll see you tomorrow for breakfast, right?"
"Luke, I'm too curious now, you can't back down, just say it."
He was silent.
"Luke, I would never laugh at you if you told me something serious, and you know that, silly. So, tell me....please?"
He sighed. "I don't want to be laying on my death bed thinking about how I should've done certain things or said certain things." He paused for a second. "Do you think that maybe, just maybe, we could ever be more then friends?" He turned to glance at her and she didn't look too surprised. "Um, your not shocked?"
"Well, yeah, a little. But, you really would consider going out with me?" She smiled and blushed.
He nodded and smiled. "Your my best friend." He shook his head. "Your my craziest friend, but nonetheless I care about you more then you could ever know. So, am I worthy?"
She laughed lightly. "Yeah, I think you are." She reached over and softly kissed his cheek, when she pulled back she looked into his eyes. "Today was a scary day for you, huh? I mean your sister and now this?"
He sighed. "Yup, definitely one of the scariest days of my life." She saw how sad he looked when she mentioned Liz.
"She'll be fine." She whispered and wrapped her arms around Luke.
"Could you hold me?" He asked her, almost crying again. She nodded and they both snuggled up against each other under the roof of the Jeep.
"You know something?" Luke asked her.
"Mmmm, what?" She responded sleepily.
"I would rather be in love with you now and die tomorrow then never knowing what it feels like and living forever."
"Jeez, you're so sentimental tonight. Where did Luke go and who are you, trapped in his body?"
"I don't know what's wrong with me today, I guess I just needed to let you see another side of me, that's all."
"I like this side, too." She leaned in and pressed her lips onto his and they ended up kissing softly. He pulled back and smiled at her, thinking that he was the luckiest person in the world and not afraid to follow his heart.
*I cannot help it*
*I couldn't stop it if I tried*
*The same old heartbeat fills the emptiness I have inside*
*And I've heard that you can't fight love, so I won't complain*
*'Cause why would I stop the fire that keeps me going on?*
*'Cause when there's you, I feel whole*
*And there's no better feeling in the world*
*But without you I'm alone*
*And I'd rather be in love with you*
*Turn out the lights now*
*To see is to believe*
*I just want you near me*
*I just want you here with me*
*And I'd give up everything only for you*
*It's the least that I could do*
*'Cause when there's you, I feel whole*
*And there's no better feeling in the world*
*But without you I'm alone*
*And I'd rather be in love with you*
*And I feel you holding me*
*Why are we afraid to be in love?*
*To be loved?*
*I can't explain it*
*I know it's tough to be in love*
*But, when I feel you holding me....*
*Oh, oh*
*And when there's you, I feel whole*
*And there's no better feeling in the world*
*But without you I'm alone*
*And I'd rather be in love*
*Yes, I'd rather be in love*
*Oh, I'd rather be in love with you*
*And I feel you holding me*
*The End*
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