Praise be to Pestruska DYIT, for through her patience, good humor, and guidance I have finally come to understand how to properly use the HTML.

Lunarian:

( I walk out and face the audience wearing a blue buisness suit, a red polka dot tie
and green clown shoes. I sit on a stool in a spotlight in front of a brick wall. )


Fear me, for I had a brief spurt of inspiration yet again. Oh, Hello there, how are you all today? *crickets chirping* ... Okay fine, I see no one is in a talkative mood today. *snoring breaks out*. Hey.... now that isn't very nice of you, I don't go to where you type and fall asleep... So how about telling me where that is so I can do so! (rimshot) *silence*. Whoo boy, tough crowd here tonight. What? This is a fanfiction and not a stand-up comedy act? Oh... heh heh dear me, my agent is so fired. You just sit-tight a minute and I'll go find that story you wanted... are you sure you wouldn't rather hear the one about the duck and the *a loud chorus of Shut Up!! is heard*. Well! Fine, be that way, now no one gets the complimentary free dinner, so hmph. ( Lunarian has left the building )

( 10 minutes later )

The audience are no longer sitting in thier seats, but they are now doing the rhomba and dancing a conga line on the stage, after they jacked the night clubs liquor supply. There are several individuals who have stripped down to thier underwear and started sumo wrestling on the table tops, with thier best buds taking bets. The security and other personel has long since ran screaming into the night.

( 10 more minutes later )

Half of the conga line has passed out, and the other half is still going. The sumo wrestlers have stopped, but only to have gotten into a massive tug-o-war between thier best buds and themselves for that gambling money. A squad of a SWAT team showed up to restore some law and order, but were so horrified by the scenes unfolding before thier eyes that the ones who did not curl up with spasmic contactions, flee'd for thier lives, last heard yelling something about the national guard.

( Yet another 10 minutes later )

The conga line has dissolved into a every man for themselves free for all shaving cream and mustard war. The sumo wrestlers are now hapily sitting on top of thier best buds counting the gambling money while letting loose the occasional SBD. There is now a roadblock set up around the building, with a quarantine of 500 yards. The fumes emenating from the building has created a hazy fog in the general area, and TV news reporters are claiming that the city is under a nerve gas attack. The national guard refused to show up, having been given some inside information as to the situation .

( If you guessed, another 10 minutes later, you'd be right )

The mustards won the war, and have decided to celebrate thier victory by decorating Lunarian's private room. The sumo wrestlers are now unconscious, and thier best buds are crawling to the front doors in hopes of finding medical assistance or a good psychologist, either way to put an end to the anguish. The town is now under orders to evacuate everyone immediately to new locations. People everywhere across the globe are watching news coverage of what is deemed the reckoning . The pentagon has gone to defcon 1, and the president has just signed the permission to deploy nuculear tactics to deal with it. Lunarian is 10 minutes away in his car driving back from his flat in jersey where he got the fic, blissfully unaware of the armageddon he has inadvertently created.

( I'll bet you think 10 minutes later huh? Surprise! Fool'd you, it's only 5 more )

Lunarian's private room's door plaque now reads Lunarian's stoned private fornication room. The dressers have all been emptied of the clothes and replaced with used diapers ( Don't ask me where they got them from ). The clothes have been shredded and hung from the ceiling in long thin strands. They somehow brought a live goat in, and have tucked it into the bed with satin sheets and the family quilt, said quilt being slowly devoured by animal. The container with every NP magazine from volume 1 to 156 has seen set on fire and is now a roaring blaze, with the occasional MTG rare card thrown in to keep things going. And finally, the closet full of video game systems and thier accompanying games has been went at with a sledgehammer.

The town is now fully abandoned, save for the buildings inhabitants, and a nuculear missle is just 5 minutes and 30 seconds from impact. Lunarian is now 5 minutes from getting back, whistling the Andy Griffith Show's tune, and still blissfully unaware of the pandora's box he has opened.

( 5 minutes later... the moment of destiny )

Lunarian pull's into his special parking place, jumps out of the car and walks back in. " Hey everyone sorry I took so long I--- ". His greeting is cut short by the mayhem he see's before him, his first thoughts being holy and hell and then on second glance removes the holy. Thinking he had better call someone, anyone to help, he dashes off to his private room for his phone. On seeing the new marking for his door, his eyes bulge out four times the normal amount and sends a silent prayer to whatever deity may be listening.

Lunarian practically rips the door off its hinges in his fervor to enter his sanctuary, only to find the room defiled and violated in ways the devil would wince at. As he checked on precious belonging after priceless treasure, finding each one destroyed and erradicated beyond the last, a silent mantra keeps playing over and over in his head As soon as the shock wears off, I'm gonna scream loud enough to reach the Andromeda Galaxy. But sadly, that could not be done, for as he looked out the window and saw a missle within spitting distance of his face, his last thoughts were Shoulda posted it on ff.net.

The Moral My Good Friends?
Do not confuse fanfiction with stand-up comedy.


I know what you're thinking... this wasn't TOF, it must be an error right?
Wrong, this was me starting off on writing a disclaimer and then having one hell of a time writing this out.
I won't be able to put up my next actual chapter untill I get some feedback from my last chapter.
So, I beg of you to please review, and at least put a little effort into it.
I am not being a hypocrite here, because If you looked at the reviews I leave, you would see they are real things, put together to try and be a good review.

Preview : Next Chapter will be the forest, and contain fighting dynamics and monster behaviors.

I have a few questions for suggestions in how I am to take this fic.

1. Should I have Mint/Rue undertones, insinuations, or one sided longing.

2. Would you prefer actual dialogue from the game, or summarized.

3. How does my HTML look, did I do a good job, a bad job, any suggestions?

4. When/If I ever complete this, should I attempt the Rue version?

Please, If you already reviewed, leave your answer in my email. Thank You.