~*~*~ Me, Myself and… Huh? ~*~*~
A Final Fantasy VIII fan fiction story by Vick330
Entry for The Clash of the Couples Contest hosted by Jello Starz and Pink Ink – Individually known as PinkStarz and Jello Ink.
~*~ Disclaimer ~*~
Maybe in an Alternate Universe I do own FF8, maybe even Squaresoft! Maybe I even have a shot at dating Quistis there!!! But in this Universe I don't [diddums!] :(
~*~ Foreword ~*~
So, the contest is for a humorous/romantic story starring the oddest couple. There is also a mention about diversity, and my favorite quote is 'Beauty In Diversity' (guess from where that comes from ^_~).
The rules are:
1. No lemons, please! R is ok, NC-17 is a no go. Sorry guys, family entertainment only. [A/N: Throws first draft into recycling bin]
2. There must be a plot! Basically, explain the characters' actions. 'Because' doesn't count! ^_~ PWP will not even be looked at! [A/N: All right, this is going to be harder than I thought]
3. A limit of four chapters. If you write really short chapters normally, put several in one upload. [A/N: That's fair enough ^_^]
4. The following couples don't count; we want something over and above the norm.
i) Seifer x Quistis, Rinoa, or Selphie
ii) Squall x Quistis, Rinoa or Selphie
iii) Seifer x Squall, Zell or Irvine
iv) Zell x Quistis, Rinoa or Selphie
v) Irvine x Quistis, Rinoa or Selphie [A/N: What about all at the same time? *notices the glares* Just kidding, hee hee, just kidding – really…]
5. No incest please, Squall and Laguna are NOT an option. [A/N: Phew! What a relief!]
Criteria for judging:
1. Creativity in plot structure
2. Grammar/ Spelling (mechanics). This is not as major as the other sections, but still counts to a degree.
3. Proper and selective inclusion of humorous and romantic elements as a basis for the plotline.
4. Weirdness factor of the couple in question! Rated 1-10!
The deadline is May 1rst, 2002, and the winners will be announced a week from the deadline. HoBoy HoBoy HoBoy HoBoy!!! Better get started then, and so without any more waiting, in an effort to get to the story ASAP, without extending the introduction for too long - to hide the fact that I have no clue on how to go about this story, fully realizing that the best intros are the shor… *notices more glares* All right, here it is:
~*~ Warning ~*~
In order to bend the rules somewhat, this story contains Hetero pairings and also Shounen-Ai and Shoujo-Ai (boy-girl, boy-boy, and girl-girl romance). I aimed at keeping everything light and tasteful, but if you are in any way disturbed by this, please use your discretion and don't read any further. Thank you.
~*~*~*~ I – Close Encounters Of The Weird Kind ~*~*~*~
Two years had passed since the 'Great Battle'. SeeD was now a peacekeeping force, still composed of elite fighters and operatives. These were quiet times, and Balamb Garden was gliding majestically through the waves in the dawn of a new day. In less than hour, the shores of Balamb – the island continent, and home to the inhabitants of the great ship – would be in visible range.
The reports of unusual bursts of energy, which the mobile Gardens were investigating, had proved unfounded and so the order had been given to head back home. On the piloting deck, a certain Cow-Person and the Commander's executive assistant were on duty. But, since the trip had been uneventful, they had activated the automatic pilot. You see, they were kind of busy… in fact they were in the middle of a serious tongue-wrestling match (no losers, only winners – what a great sport! ^_^)
That is why when the air started shimmering in the path of the vessel, nobody thought of changing course. As Garden passed through a curtain of light, the whole structure resonated with a peculiar frequency. This immediately awoke most of the ship's population (except a tattooed individual who would only have awakened if hotdogs were involved).
"Hee Haw!" Exclaimed the violet-eyed sharpshooter, "Yah rock mah world really good, Baby! Where yah lean ta kiss like that?"
The other person suddenly realized two things, first the view outside Garden looked like a surrealistic painting. And in second place, the intercom was beeping madly. 'Damn! That's the Commander's line!' he thought and then responded, "Huh, Commander?"
"What the hell is going on, Xi?" replied an angry voice.
"I, huh, we seem to have strayed from our destination…"
"Whatever, I'm coming up." – and the communication was cut.
"Great!" Complained Xi to the sharpshooter "We'll be lucky if we don't get kicked out of Garden for this!"
Mollified, the violet-eyed person offered, "Hum, maybe it's aw storm of som' surt… He! We seem to be coming out of it!"
Effectively, the shores of their destination could be seen and the weird lights had disappeared. They both let out a sigh of relief, and shortly after the Commander and the Head Instructor entered the piloting deck. Garden went to flying mode automatically, and homed in on its landing pad. And then it jerked to a sudden stop as all systems went to full alert.
"What the…" exclaimed the blond instructor.
Steel-blue eyes also stared in shock at the view in front of them. On the landing pad, there was an exact replica of Balamb Garden, but with the main colors reversed. The Commander's voice was dispassionate and controlled, "Arm weapons, and prepare for combat."
Suddenly the intercom came to life, "Commander, this is communications. We are receiving a message from the other… Garden."
"Lets hear it."
The blond instructor stated, "If they are not overtly hostile, we should ask for a meeting." And then glancing meaningfully at his leader he continued, "Please, try to use diplomacy?"
"Understood." Was the Commander's answer.
A commanding voice was heard though the speakers of the piloting deck, "This is Commander Squall Leonhart of Balamb Garden, identify yourselves."
The three SeeDs and the sharpshooter exchanged surprised glances, and then the Commander responded, "And this is Commander Qualla Leonhart of Balamb Garden. I propose a meeting on neutral ground."
"Agreed." Came the reply after a very long pause.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Squall chose his group without hesitation; he first selected his former instructor for her sharp intelligence. "Quistis," he started, "I trust your knowledge of diplomacy, so you'll come with me.
"What about me Squall?" Asked Selphie hopefully.
"You can't come." Replied the dark-haired man.
"Why?"
"Because…"
"Because what?"
"Whatever."
"Meanie." Said the brunette under her breath.
Fujin was selected for her ability to remain calm in stressful situations, and unfaltering instinct for sensing trouble. "Miss Kazeno," continued Squall, "You'll keep a distance from our guests, and stay alert until we've assessed their intentions."
"UNDERSTOOD," replied the fair woman.
"Squaaaaaaaall?" intervened Selphie.
"Yes, Selphie."
"Well, you know that I'm a people's person," she insisted, "So I really think that I should go with you."
"I said, no."
"Pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh?" she insisted with a cute and endearing pout.
"No."
"If you don't bring me I'll be sad…"
"Whatever."
"If I'm not part of the group it will hurt my feelings…"
"Whatever."
"If I can't go I'll be upset..."
"Whatever."
"If I can't tag along I'll feel left out…"
"Whatever."
"If I stay behind I'm gonna cry..."
"Whatever," said an annoyed Commander, then turned to his chosen companions, "We're leaving in 15 minutes, get ready."
Selphie grabbed Squall's arm and pleaded, "Please pretty please I really want to meet these people they said that there is another Tilmitt on their Garden and maybe he's my long lost brother or something and I really want to meet my family and I won't bother you in fact you won't even know I'm there and I promise to be really good and quiet and can I go pweesh?"
"No." answered the broody guy and turned to walk out of the conference room.
The brunette made a last attempt to change her Commander's mind, and grabbed his right leg while begging non-stop,"pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasebenicepleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!"
"Mother of Hyne, Selphie!" complained Squall as he attempted to walk away, "I said NO, and let go of me!"
Finally, Selphie pestered so much to be brought along that the Commander reluctantly gave in. Having someone clung to your leg, like an oversized yellow-clad leech, could be very convincing. There was also the fact that he feared for the safety of his favorite pair of leather pants, which were –after his gunblade- his most prized possession. At any rate, the brunette had a talent for dissipating tense situations, which might come in handy.
The other Garden had moved to a respectful distance. Squall and his escort walked to the agreed meeting point, and soon enough he could see their delegates walking towards him. Precautions had been taken, for deception couldn't be ruled out, but the four of them were highly trained and confident that they could handle any displeasing surprises. As they met with their guests, there were indeed astounded. The four visitors had an oddly familiar look about them.
"I am Squall Leonhart, welcome to Balamb." Stated the dark-haired man extending his hand, which was taken in a firm handshake by a young woman with steel-blue eyes and a scar on her forehead– obviously the person they had talked to earlier.
"And I am Qualla Leonhart," simply said the young woman, and then proceeded to introduce her comrades.
She first pointed to a blond man with sapphire-eyes, "This is Head Instructor Quisto Trepe."
"Xi Lee, Executive Administrative Officer." – A man with handsome Asian features bowed respectfully.
"And finally, Sofie Almasy, our Chief of security." – The tall blonde woman smirked at the glares she got; as Qualla she was also sporting a scar on her forehead.
After Squall introduced his own friends, they were struck by the similarities in their names. Quistis sharp wits and scientific curiosity took over, and she asked, "Well, it is obvious that you are not from this world. Do you have any idea how you got here?"
"That light…" said Xi.
"LIGHT?" Inquired Fujin. She was also keeping Sofie Almasy in her peripheral vision, as she was adept at doing, for the woman fascinated her.
"We passed through some sort of portal, I think." He explained, "Those sightings of unusual energy burst were true after all…"
"We've had similar reports," Indicated Quistis, "We think they are echoes from those portals Ultimecia created in the future."
"Ultimecia?" said Qualla.
"I think that we have much to discuss," intervened Quisto in a deep and assured voice, "It is in both our interests that we find a way back home, what consequences our presence here could have are unknown after all."
"Agreed." Came the simultaneous response of the two leaders, and Squall invited Qualla and her group to his Garden.
As they walked, Sofie managed to walk besides Fujin who was at the rear of the group. "I know that you were checking me out, you know." Said the blonde woman just loud enough so that only the albino would hear.
Fujin gave her an odd look, and the taller woman continued, "Fujo also has excellent peripheral vision."
"FUJO?"
"I think I have all this figured out," said Sofie, "I can't wait to meet a male Ginger Hen," she then laughed merrily at some private joke of hers.
They made a remarked entrance, and Squall immediately called a meeting of all high-ranking personnel. Fujin went back to her dorm, trying to figure out what a 'Ginger Hen' could be and unable to get Sofie Almasy out of her mind.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
To Be Continued on Monday, April 29, 2002 while our friends interact during the weekend ;)