Clarice stood by the living room window, her eyes focused on nothing particularly, only staring to the darkness. The night was as black as her heart and equally inconsolable. The night in its darkness and infinity, the black shadows full of nameless, faceless creatures, did not scare her. What did, though, was the very reason behind her emotional weariness; she had came to the conclusion that she would probably never find Dr. Lecter on her own. And whom could she even ask for help? Call the FBI? The thought made her smile a bitter smile.

"Hello, I would like a report a missing person. His name? Hannibal Lecter."

Well, they would come running. But perhaps it wasn't what she wanted. The help of society was provided only to those who followed the rules of it. In all cases, not even for them - this she had learnt during the years in the Bureau.

She was frustrated. None of her efforts of finding Dr. Lecter had had any outcome; she had met only dead ends and had had more than her share of false hope. Of course she should have known that he was the master of hide and seek, but yet she had allowed herself to hope. As the time had passed and all she had ended up with was lost nerves, little by little she had started to feel the cold hand of giving up clinging itself around her heart.

It didn't feel good.

Nothing did these days. For the first time after his leaving she started to realize that he might actually be gone for good. Forever without him didn't sound very tempting. But did she have any other choice? At this point she seemed to have no other options.

The most ironic thing was that she knew she would be able to live her life without him. She wouldn't die, and it was perhaps the very thing that frightened her the most. She would survive, she would live on – but her life would have no use. No happiness. No meaning. It was interesting, though, how she now knew wholly what he meant for her. Like the saying goes, you don't know what you've got until it's gone. With him she had found herself; it had been the first time when she had been only Clarice. She hadn't been Clarice, the orphan or Starling, the FBI-Agent. She had been Clarice. This thought had led her to a realization: She didn't need him to defy herself. She needed him for him; not for her. That's why she would be able to live without him and that's why she would never be happy again without him.

As she analyzed the time during which he had been gone she was able to categorize it in a few sections. The first had been absolute shock and denial. She really hadn't understood a thing. Now that she thought of that time, which she didn't like to do, she didn't even remember anything clear. All she was able to name was pain. It had been cutting, throbbing, burning... It had been everything and she had been nothing.

The second had been self-pity. Her life had felt like a TV-show, a bad one, but still. She had refused to take his leaving as reality; all she had do was swallowing in self-pity and disgust. But somewhere, deep inside, she had been convincing herself that this wasn't happening, and had succeeded in it pretty well. An outsider in her own life, that's what she had been.

And now she had come to this. She started to understand, to believe. She started to give up hope. The possibility that he might not actually come back, that this was happening for real and not in some facade of her life terrified her.

Where to go from here? There seemed to be no open roads for her. Without some sort of a miracle she would most likely be doomed in loneliness and unhappiness for the rest of her life. It would have been stupid even to think that she could get over him and find someone else. There simply was no else for her; Hannibal had been - and was – the one and only for her. She would never ever be complete without him. The question was, how was he able to do it? How had he been able to walk out on her and break the bond of trust between them?

She felt like having a cigarette. Not for a long time had she smoked at all but recently she had found it calmed her down to some extent, though she didn't particularly like the habit. She hated the smell of cigarette in her clothes and hair and the taste it left in her mouth but she smoked anyway. Not much but a little bit.

Quietly she went out. The lights of the house had been off so her eyes were adjusted to the dark, allowing her to see everything as clearly as possible. The darkness of the night was different from the darkness of the living room. It was softer and more complete; it was like liquid which filled every sparing space. For a moment she imagined that the darkness would absorb into her and make her a part of itself, carrying her away in the night only to vanish in the break of dawn.

Not, she mused, such a bad idea.

For a while she just stood on the patio, doing her very best to keep the memories of Dr Lecter away. She managed quite well; practice makes you better. Her eyes open but not seeing much she emptied herself from all kind of emotions. The moment took her over and she willingly lost herself in it, welcoming the all-conquering night in her heart and mind.

That was until she saw movement down in the garden

What the fuck…?

For a second she felt absurd hope that it would be Dr. Lecter. But what the hell would he be doing down there, sneaking in his own garden? No, it couldn't be him. It was silly even to think about it.

Whoever it was, Clarice herself was the only one who had made some kind of visual notion - she had obviously been left unseen. The movement continued, though it was very quiet. Skillful and careful. Hmm.

She took a step backwards, becoming practically one with the dark corner. She now being close to invisible she had an unhampered view as the uninvited gardener continued his mission in her garden. She heard how the someone moved towards the gate. She reached out to see better, and was rewarded; during the quarter of a second when the light of the lamppost touched the intruder on his way out, she saw and recognized him. It was the man whom she had bumped into and who, she suspected, had photographed her.

Now this was interesting.

He wasn't a policeman, about that she was pretty confident. Was he a cop he would have arrested her a long ago. Besides, he was the only one she had noticed following her around. Policemen seldom, if ever, worked alone. No, he wasn't a cop.

What was he, then?

Some weirdo? Nah… The characterization didn't seem to fit. She remembered the man's features quite vaguely but he had seemed... Clean. Tidy.

Attractive

Not like a weirdo. Hmm. She wasn't quite sure how she should be feeling over the fact that a strange man was following her, photographing her and sneaking in her garden. It was strange and uncomfortable but she wasn't afraid. Not by a long shot; she knew she could take anyone. She had her .45 on the top shelf of her closet if it came to that.

Perhaps the reason to why she wasn't more disturbed by the thought of some man following her was that she had felt a glimpse of hope. She had acknowledged the thought that Hannibal might have something to do with the man but dared not admit it the possibility to herself. Another disappointment, another dead end and she would give up hope for good. Fearing to use her last change she considered the matter very carefully.

What if? What if? What should I do?

The question pounded in her head, making her anxious. She went back inside the house but didn't turn the lights on for she didn't want to see her reflection from the various mirrors. Her lost, tired eyes were the last thing she wanted to see now. What she wanted was an answer; would she had the courage to take the last, mattering step? To put her feet on the path from which was no turning back?

Was it any use pondering it when she knew she couldn't rest until she would?

^^^^^^^^^^*^^^^^^^^^^

The roar of Luca's car engine sounded uncomfortably loud to him in the silent night. Naturally the woman driving ahead of her couldn't hear it but still it bothered him. How he wished, no matter how stupid it was, that he had been invisible. That way he could be with her every single moment, just watch her. Just adore her.

By now Luca was aware of the fact that he had a serious crush, perhaps even more, to the woman whose name he didn't even know. There hadn't been one even in her front door or mailbox. He hadn't wanted to ask the neighbors, it would have been too obvious. So, in order to get the feel of knowing her better, he had started to call her Nicole in his head. It was, in a way, the final proof of his affection towards her. Luca had wanted to give the beautiful face a name.

She wasn't 'the woman' anymore. Her name was Nicole.

As her interest had grown during the time he had followed her he hadn't been able, not even willing, to pass the question plaguing him: What was going on between Dr Golding and Nicole? Most important, was she in any kind of danger? In his romantic daydreams he saved her from the odd Dr. Golding and won her, erhm, gratitude, but he didn't wish it for real. Probably because he wasn't sure if he really wanted to face the doctor when he was be really pissed. No-o.

Thanks to the years in his job during whose he had met all kinds of people Luca had grown to be an excellent judge of character. That fact aside he hadn't been able to get a proper grip from Dr. Golding; he remained intact when his probing was concerned. But had he sensed any kind of hostility towards Nicole? No. He had to admit that. No hostility, anger or hate. Perhaps… sadness. Longing.

Oh crap.

Could that heavenly creature be… married to Dr. Scary-As-Hell? Suddenly Luca's world had a new dark cloud in its sky. Husband and wife? He thought hard about the meeting he had had with him. Had he worn a ring? …..Nnnno. Jackpot!! But it didn't really prove anything, did it. They could be involved… But for real? She, and a man like that? Besides, he was old. Not 'equals dead' but still.

A car, Nicole's car, parked at the side of the road brought him back to the present. He stepped on the brake before he even realized what he was doing. It wasn't before he got out of his car he realized that this probably wasn't the best idea. Oh, well, no turning back anymore.

Luca started walking towards her. Though it was dark her appearance made him gasp. Those had to be the tightest jeans he had ever seen. And the T-shirt, not so loose either, left not much room for imagination. She was hot.

As the distance between them was about 5 meters Luca spoke. "Need help?"

The woman – Nicole – had been studying the engine. She turned to him and smiled. "Hi."

Luca felt he was smiling like an idiot and did his best to wipe the statement off. He cleared his throat. "Everything ok?"

Nicole bit her lower lip and looked slightly confused. "Well, no. There's something wrong with my car."

Luca couldn't help staring at her. She was so beautiful. "I could take a look…?"

Her smile seemed to bring light in the darkness. "Would you?"

"Anything for y- a beautiful woman."

She smiled a preppy smile and gestured towards the engine. "You're the man!"

In the safe of the motor hood Luca gathered his thoughts. This was his chance. It was almost too good to be true.

He heard her lovely voice behind his back. "Hey, I know this might sound a bit stupid, but have we met before?

"Umm, well, I think I bumped into you a few days ago."

"Yes! That's it! I knew I've seen you before. I couldn't forget such a handsome face."

Was he blushing???

Luca tried to sound neutral. "Well, there seems to be nothing wrong in here…" He stood up. "This sounds stupid but I have to ask. When was the last time you fueled your car?"

Nicole looked at her with her big, blue eyes. Had he been able to affect to the stream of time he would have blocked it right there and stay in that moment forever.

She fluttered her lashes and looked a bit puzzled. "Fuel..? Oh, no!"

Luca grinned. What a typical woman. "Yeah, cars need that. Don't worry, I'll give you a lift and you can send someone for your car."

Nicole smiled and looked like and angel. "Oh, thank you, Mr.…?

Luca's heart made an extra leap. "Arnone. Luca Arnone."

Nicole offered her delicate hand. "Kelly Williams. Such a pleasure, Mr. Arnone."

"Please, call me Luca." Oh God, there's that smile again.

"Only if you call me Kelly."

The two got into Luca's car and headed back for town.

^^^^^^^^^^*^^^^^^^^^^

Back in the comfort of her home, 'Kelly' decided it would be a time for shower. She climbed upstairs and slowly undressed herself on the way. The clothes she was wearing disgusted her. It was obvious that some of Hannibal's sense of style had tackled into her along the years.

She went into the bathroom and looked at her reflection. Pursing her lips and fluttering her lashes she tried to continue the fake-out she had kept up when with Luca, but couldn't help laughing. She just looked so unbelievably stupid.

She had gotten her clothes off now – Kelly Williams was now on the floor and Clarice Starling in the shower. She enjoyed the flow of hot water on her skin.

Luca, Luca, Luca… Are you my chance to find Hannibal? Are you or were you in on his business? I know you, Luca Arnone. It has been many years but I remember you. Luca Arnone… Or should I say The Shadow?

Though Clarice had not the capacity of Dr. Lecter's memory palace she still had an excellent memory to say the least. Somewhere from the forgotten parts of her memory rose an image of Luca Arnone's case file. Hadn't she been so drowned in her pain on the first time they 'met' she would have probably recognized him then. But now she had no doubts of his identity; she had tried to track Luca down several years ago when solving a vague murder case. She never found him. It was probably the Supreme Being's unbelievable sense of irony which had now threw him on her way.

She turned the water off and started shampooing her hair. The scent of vanilla relaxed her and turned her thoughts from Luca to Dr. Lecter.

Did you hire him, Hannibal? If so, why? What the hell is going on here?

She massaged the shampoo in her hair and scalp. As the foam started to drip on her face she closed her eyes and turned the water back on.

I will find you, Hannibal. I will find you and make you answer some questions.

She got out of the shower and wrapped herself in a big, fluffy towel. She decided it would be a good idea to go to bed; after all, she would have a big night ahead of her tomorrow.

She would have a date.

She would have to fake, again, but if she achieved what she was after… Were Luca able to give her some direction, even a one hint… It would be more than worth it.