Disclaimer: blah blah blah, you know it all. just read and this is the chapter I like writing the most! Sorry if Snape seems a bit OOC to you but this is how I imagined him to be. OK so review or I won't write anymore!!!!!!!
Dedicated to Sarah cos she always dedicates stuff to me and I always forget to and I know she likes this story. Don't know why!
Also dedicated to nicola! Yes you nic cos she loves Snape too and by the way nic, Alan and Snape are mine! You can't have any not even one night, but you can have this story instead!
Chapter 6 Snape's POV
After Ron left we saw a lot more of each other. We never spoke about what happened. I think she took it as a personal insult that he had chosen a man over her. It was as if she had no faith in herself any more. She seemed to walk around in a dream world. Not angry but sedate, actually she seemed more at peace. She sighed a lot and she used to eat a lot. She even went off sex soon. I thought I was me. I thought I was bad or that she didn't want me anymore. I mean she had been so sexy and now she seems more, I don't know happy I suppose. Anyway at the minute we are living together either in her house, my house or our rooms at Hogwarts. Its about 5 months after Ron found us together and we are still together.
"Morning Severus!" says Minerva jovially as I walk into the staff room. She is sitting in the corner reading witch weekly. I see the cover has a picture has a picture of a witch that looks strangely familiar. Blonde and blue eyed with incredibly white teeth.
I nod in her direction. She takes it as a hello and I am allowed to carry on with my tasks of the morning. I walk over to the sideboard where there are several cups of coffee steaming. I pick up a cup and sit down in a chair. I look at the cup, its stupid really; I have picked up the same cup I usually do. I pick this cup up every morning, I don't even realise I'm doing it. It's green, of course, with a snake on. That's how bloody bad this job is it's even got me choosing crockery that's the same colour as my house colours. I look into the depths of the coffee and watch the bubbles burst on the surface. As I take a mouthful the door opens and a Hermione walks in.
"Morning Minerva!" she says in the same tone Minerva greeted me with.
"Good morning Hermione. How are you feeling?" asks Minerva and shoots me a wry smile.
I scowl at her and take another mouthful of coffee.
Hermione walks over and gets a cup of coffee for herself and leans against the counter. I get up and take my cup over to the sink and stand next to her.
"Morning Hermione," I say and take a step closer.
She takes a step back.
"Severus," she whispers out the corner of her mouth. "Minerva's watching!" she whispered.
I walk over to my seat and sit down again. Pondering why she does this. I have been with her for 5 months now and still she won't let us be revealed to be having a relationship in front of the staff. It's not as if they can't guess, I mean I am always away at the same time as her. We come to the great hall together.
"Erm I have a class to teach so I will see both of you later," says Minerva as she gets up and walks to the door, "and Severus your erm flying low." She said suppressing a laugh and walks out.
Hermione sprays the coffee that was in her mouth, all over the table in front of her. I look down to see Minerva was right! Bloody evil women! Quickly I do up the zip and glare at Hermione.
"I suppose you think that's funny?" I scowl as I cross my legs.
"Actually I did my dear forgetful one." She giggles as she pulls out her wand and clears up the mess that she created. "Really cute choice of underwear Sev, I never picked you for a cartoon character type of person."
I scowl again.
"Why do you do that?" I ask and watch her eyes question me, "you know the `Minerva's watching' I mean its not as if its obvious! Are you ashamed of me?" I ask.
She begins to laugh again. "Oh dear Sev, you really do misinterpret the situation don't you. My dear," I hate it when she mocks me like this, "I just don't want them to treat us like a couple. You know `what are you getting Severus and Hermione for Christmas,' or `are you going to see Severus and Hermione?' I used to get that with Ron, it's as if we are one person not two." She says.
I think for a while. Seems a pretty strange reason and a lame one too if you ask me.
"Hermione I can tell your lying to me. You won't look me in the face. Why don't you want to tell anyone about us? They do already know for god sake even the idiot students have guessed."
Hermione looked worried for a minute and then fought the expression away.
"Severus nothing is wrong honestly." She takes a mouthful of coffee and sits down.
I sit and stare at her. She is avoiding looking at me. Her gaze goes from the pictures on the walls to the rip in a chair to the magazines on the tables. I get up and walk over to her. Standing over her so she can only see me I fold my arms. I raise an eyebrow in a questioning expression.
"Severus stop it you're acting like my father!" she laughs nervously.
I kneel down on the floor next to her chair and look her in the face.
"Hermione look at me." Still she doesn't. I reach up and place my hand on her cheek and turn her face slowly towards me. "Hermione," I say in a soft loving whisper, "what's wrong?"
I can see tears welling in her eyes.
"Severus I didn't want to have to tell you this, but I knew I would have to sooner or later. Severus there is no easy way to say this,"
She paused and looked at me scared and tired. Was she trying to break up with me?
"Severus I am pregnant." She said quietly.
I sat there and my hand dropped from her face. Had I heard right? Hermione was pregnant? What do I say? How do I react to this?
"Is it mine?" I ask certain the answer is yes.
"I don't know." She said sadly and looked away from me.
She doesn't know! How can she not know? Is it that difficult to remember if she has slept with me or not?
"What do you mean you don't know? How can you not know? Who else have you slept with? How many months pregnant are you?" I ask in increasing worry.
"I am about 6-7 months pregnant. And if that's the case it could be Ron's or yours. I don't know. Severus I want it to be yours I need you to be with me. I need you to help me through this. Severus please understand me." She begged.
I stood up and strode over to the window, confused and angry. Should I stay with her? I do love her but what if the kid is Ron's? How could I cope with that?
"Well are you going to have it?" I asked my back turned to her.
"Of course I am, Severus I need to have this baby. It is part of me. I want it to be your baby, but even if its Ron's I will love it just the same." She said sad and shocked that I could be so uncaring.
"Well I don't want a child." I said maliciously.
My back was still turned to her and I had images of her and Ron. It made me sick. He had touched her. My Hermione had once been his. My Hermione. How could I treat her like this if I loved her so much? Its because I didn't want to share her. I needed her to be all mine.
"Severus why are you being like this? I thought you loved me. I thought you would understand." I turned to look at her. She seemed to have shrunk in the chair and looked tiny and scared and like a child. "I need you now Severus. I never asked anything from you, but now I need you! I need you to care for this baby and me. It is another human after all."
She got up and placed her cup on the table before walking over to me and taking hold of my hand. I pulled it out of her grasp roughly and turned away from her. I needed to clear my head. I wanted to look after her but a baby! It's a shock to any man, but what if you didn't even know if the woman you loved was having your child?
I strode over to the door in a whirlwind of robes and anger.
"Severus!" she called, but I didn't turn back I slammed the door and strode all the way down to my classroom.
~~*~~
Lying on my bed I look at the ceiling and wonder what to do. I love her. I should be there with her sharing this pregnancy. Supporting her and telling her its all going to be OK. But why can't I? Why don't I want this child? Well it may not be mine! I can't look after Ron's child! But I love her.
I hate being uncertain. It had angered me! I had spent the rest of the day ignoring her and avoiding her. If I had to answer her, my replies would be short, curt and concise. The staff suspected something was wrong and the atmosphere at dinner was tense. So tense you could have sliced through it with sword. I had caused several people to flatten themselves against walls as I had walked with an angry air around me and no one questioned me. Several students were in detention for trivial things like laughing too loud.
I got up and walked over to the window in my room. It was only a small one but I could see the lake from here. I opened the window and inhaled several lungs full of fresh air. I turned round to look back into my room. It was dark but I could see the pile of discarded clothes that lay on my floor. I had wanted to rid myself of any memory of the incident in the staff room and to start with I had removed my clothes. I was now walking around in my black trousers and black silk shirt. My hair was even more unruly and unkempt than usual due to the fact that I had run my fingers through when trying to think.
I walked over to the door of my room and opened it only to find a figure in front of me. They had been about to knock on my door.
"What do you want?" I snarled at the figure.
"I want you to grow up and let me talk to you." It was Ron. "I know we don't like each other and we both would like nothing more than to give each other a black eye, but this isn't about us! This is about Hermione! You bastard! Do you know what a state she's in? You fuckin' inconsiderate bastard!" he was saying quietly. I would have preferred it if he had been screaming it.
"Weasly you're hardly the person to talk to me about morals and right and wrong ways to do things. Considering your past behaviour!" I growl at him.
"You don't get it do you? Hermione, for some inane reason, loves you! She thought you felt the same way." He said ignoring my comment about him.
"I do love her, but can't love this child." I say simply.
"Why? Because it might be mine? Well if I was in your shoes I think I would still support Hermione after all its you who she's chosen not me. And what if the child's yours? What's gonna happen then? You gonna go back to her and apologies? If you truly loved her you would be with her every step of the way!" he said, his face getting redder every minute.
I walked into me room and back towards the window. Ho9w does he have the nerve to do this? To come in here and make me think about believing him and doing what he says.
"Do you really think she would forgive me? After the way I acted? Do you think I can look after a child? I didn't want children. I took this job because I had to not because I wanted to. I never wanted children, even with the woman I love most." I was shouting at him.
"Well fuck off then! She obviously doesn't need someone like you. I'm going to find out if I can help her! Thanks for royally fuckin' everything up!" he shouted and left slamming the door on his way out.
I was seething. I picked up the bottle on the table next to me and threw it at the door. Glass shattered everywhere and the contents of the bottle ran down the wall. I picked up the next bottle and hurled it at the door again. It missed and shattered against the wall as the door opened.
"Severus I thought it may have been you in here." It was Minerva.
"get out! get away from me and get out!" I screamed.
She looked scared but determined.
"no," she said calmly, "you need to go to the hospital wing. That is if you are going to do the right thing. Hermione has gone into premature labour and I thought you may like to know."
"I said get out." I whispered in a deadly voice.
She nodded and left. Leaving me alone and angry again. What was I going to do? Be a man or be a coward?
****Right now review or I will send my skrewts over to harm you and if the don't work I have a new dragon that could do with some fire breathing practice. Any flames will be used to create salamanders with. And if I'm being really mean I will send legolas to shoot you with his arrow, and Sarah I didn't mean for that to sound like an inuendo!****
Dedicated to Sarah cos she always dedicates stuff to me and I always forget to and I know she likes this story. Don't know why!
Also dedicated to nicola! Yes you nic cos she loves Snape too and by the way nic, Alan and Snape are mine! You can't have any not even one night, but you can have this story instead!
Chapter 6 Snape's POV
After Ron left we saw a lot more of each other. We never spoke about what happened. I think she took it as a personal insult that he had chosen a man over her. It was as if she had no faith in herself any more. She seemed to walk around in a dream world. Not angry but sedate, actually she seemed more at peace. She sighed a lot and she used to eat a lot. She even went off sex soon. I thought I was me. I thought I was bad or that she didn't want me anymore. I mean she had been so sexy and now she seems more, I don't know happy I suppose. Anyway at the minute we are living together either in her house, my house or our rooms at Hogwarts. Its about 5 months after Ron found us together and we are still together.
"Morning Severus!" says Minerva jovially as I walk into the staff room. She is sitting in the corner reading witch weekly. I see the cover has a picture has a picture of a witch that looks strangely familiar. Blonde and blue eyed with incredibly white teeth.
I nod in her direction. She takes it as a hello and I am allowed to carry on with my tasks of the morning. I walk over to the sideboard where there are several cups of coffee steaming. I pick up a cup and sit down in a chair. I look at the cup, its stupid really; I have picked up the same cup I usually do. I pick this cup up every morning, I don't even realise I'm doing it. It's green, of course, with a snake on. That's how bloody bad this job is it's even got me choosing crockery that's the same colour as my house colours. I look into the depths of the coffee and watch the bubbles burst on the surface. As I take a mouthful the door opens and a Hermione walks in.
"Morning Minerva!" she says in the same tone Minerva greeted me with.
"Good morning Hermione. How are you feeling?" asks Minerva and shoots me a wry smile.
I scowl at her and take another mouthful of coffee.
Hermione walks over and gets a cup of coffee for herself and leans against the counter. I get up and take my cup over to the sink and stand next to her.
"Morning Hermione," I say and take a step closer.
She takes a step back.
"Severus," she whispers out the corner of her mouth. "Minerva's watching!" she whispered.
I walk over to my seat and sit down again. Pondering why she does this. I have been with her for 5 months now and still she won't let us be revealed to be having a relationship in front of the staff. It's not as if they can't guess, I mean I am always away at the same time as her. We come to the great hall together.
"Erm I have a class to teach so I will see both of you later," says Minerva as she gets up and walks to the door, "and Severus your erm flying low." She said suppressing a laugh and walks out.
Hermione sprays the coffee that was in her mouth, all over the table in front of her. I look down to see Minerva was right! Bloody evil women! Quickly I do up the zip and glare at Hermione.
"I suppose you think that's funny?" I scowl as I cross my legs.
"Actually I did my dear forgetful one." She giggles as she pulls out her wand and clears up the mess that she created. "Really cute choice of underwear Sev, I never picked you for a cartoon character type of person."
I scowl again.
"Why do you do that?" I ask and watch her eyes question me, "you know the `Minerva's watching' I mean its not as if its obvious! Are you ashamed of me?" I ask.
She begins to laugh again. "Oh dear Sev, you really do misinterpret the situation don't you. My dear," I hate it when she mocks me like this, "I just don't want them to treat us like a couple. You know `what are you getting Severus and Hermione for Christmas,' or `are you going to see Severus and Hermione?' I used to get that with Ron, it's as if we are one person not two." She says.
I think for a while. Seems a pretty strange reason and a lame one too if you ask me.
"Hermione I can tell your lying to me. You won't look me in the face. Why don't you want to tell anyone about us? They do already know for god sake even the idiot students have guessed."
Hermione looked worried for a minute and then fought the expression away.
"Severus nothing is wrong honestly." She takes a mouthful of coffee and sits down.
I sit and stare at her. She is avoiding looking at me. Her gaze goes from the pictures on the walls to the rip in a chair to the magazines on the tables. I get up and walk over to her. Standing over her so she can only see me I fold my arms. I raise an eyebrow in a questioning expression.
"Severus stop it you're acting like my father!" she laughs nervously.
I kneel down on the floor next to her chair and look her in the face.
"Hermione look at me." Still she doesn't. I reach up and place my hand on her cheek and turn her face slowly towards me. "Hermione," I say in a soft loving whisper, "what's wrong?"
I can see tears welling in her eyes.
"Severus I didn't want to have to tell you this, but I knew I would have to sooner or later. Severus there is no easy way to say this,"
She paused and looked at me scared and tired. Was she trying to break up with me?
"Severus I am pregnant." She said quietly.
I sat there and my hand dropped from her face. Had I heard right? Hermione was pregnant? What do I say? How do I react to this?
"Is it mine?" I ask certain the answer is yes.
"I don't know." She said sadly and looked away from me.
She doesn't know! How can she not know? Is it that difficult to remember if she has slept with me or not?
"What do you mean you don't know? How can you not know? Who else have you slept with? How many months pregnant are you?" I ask in increasing worry.
"I am about 6-7 months pregnant. And if that's the case it could be Ron's or yours. I don't know. Severus I want it to be yours I need you to be with me. I need you to help me through this. Severus please understand me." She begged.
I stood up and strode over to the window, confused and angry. Should I stay with her? I do love her but what if the kid is Ron's? How could I cope with that?
"Well are you going to have it?" I asked my back turned to her.
"Of course I am, Severus I need to have this baby. It is part of me. I want it to be your baby, but even if its Ron's I will love it just the same." She said sad and shocked that I could be so uncaring.
"Well I don't want a child." I said maliciously.
My back was still turned to her and I had images of her and Ron. It made me sick. He had touched her. My Hermione had once been his. My Hermione. How could I treat her like this if I loved her so much? Its because I didn't want to share her. I needed her to be all mine.
"Severus why are you being like this? I thought you loved me. I thought you would understand." I turned to look at her. She seemed to have shrunk in the chair and looked tiny and scared and like a child. "I need you now Severus. I never asked anything from you, but now I need you! I need you to care for this baby and me. It is another human after all."
She got up and placed her cup on the table before walking over to me and taking hold of my hand. I pulled it out of her grasp roughly and turned away from her. I needed to clear my head. I wanted to look after her but a baby! It's a shock to any man, but what if you didn't even know if the woman you loved was having your child?
I strode over to the door in a whirlwind of robes and anger.
"Severus!" she called, but I didn't turn back I slammed the door and strode all the way down to my classroom.
~~*~~
Lying on my bed I look at the ceiling and wonder what to do. I love her. I should be there with her sharing this pregnancy. Supporting her and telling her its all going to be OK. But why can't I? Why don't I want this child? Well it may not be mine! I can't look after Ron's child! But I love her.
I hate being uncertain. It had angered me! I had spent the rest of the day ignoring her and avoiding her. If I had to answer her, my replies would be short, curt and concise. The staff suspected something was wrong and the atmosphere at dinner was tense. So tense you could have sliced through it with sword. I had caused several people to flatten themselves against walls as I had walked with an angry air around me and no one questioned me. Several students were in detention for trivial things like laughing too loud.
I got up and walked over to the window in my room. It was only a small one but I could see the lake from here. I opened the window and inhaled several lungs full of fresh air. I turned round to look back into my room. It was dark but I could see the pile of discarded clothes that lay on my floor. I had wanted to rid myself of any memory of the incident in the staff room and to start with I had removed my clothes. I was now walking around in my black trousers and black silk shirt. My hair was even more unruly and unkempt than usual due to the fact that I had run my fingers through when trying to think.
I walked over to the door of my room and opened it only to find a figure in front of me. They had been about to knock on my door.
"What do you want?" I snarled at the figure.
"I want you to grow up and let me talk to you." It was Ron. "I know we don't like each other and we both would like nothing more than to give each other a black eye, but this isn't about us! This is about Hermione! You bastard! Do you know what a state she's in? You fuckin' inconsiderate bastard!" he was saying quietly. I would have preferred it if he had been screaming it.
"Weasly you're hardly the person to talk to me about morals and right and wrong ways to do things. Considering your past behaviour!" I growl at him.
"You don't get it do you? Hermione, for some inane reason, loves you! She thought you felt the same way." He said ignoring my comment about him.
"I do love her, but can't love this child." I say simply.
"Why? Because it might be mine? Well if I was in your shoes I think I would still support Hermione after all its you who she's chosen not me. And what if the child's yours? What's gonna happen then? You gonna go back to her and apologies? If you truly loved her you would be with her every step of the way!" he said, his face getting redder every minute.
I walked into me room and back towards the window. Ho9w does he have the nerve to do this? To come in here and make me think about believing him and doing what he says.
"Do you really think she would forgive me? After the way I acted? Do you think I can look after a child? I didn't want children. I took this job because I had to not because I wanted to. I never wanted children, even with the woman I love most." I was shouting at him.
"Well fuck off then! She obviously doesn't need someone like you. I'm going to find out if I can help her! Thanks for royally fuckin' everything up!" he shouted and left slamming the door on his way out.
I was seething. I picked up the bottle on the table next to me and threw it at the door. Glass shattered everywhere and the contents of the bottle ran down the wall. I picked up the next bottle and hurled it at the door again. It missed and shattered against the wall as the door opened.
"Severus I thought it may have been you in here." It was Minerva.
"get out! get away from me and get out!" I screamed.
She looked scared but determined.
"no," she said calmly, "you need to go to the hospital wing. That is if you are going to do the right thing. Hermione has gone into premature labour and I thought you may like to know."
"I said get out." I whispered in a deadly voice.
She nodded and left. Leaving me alone and angry again. What was I going to do? Be a man or be a coward?
****Right now review or I will send my skrewts over to harm you and if the don't work I have a new dragon that could do with some fire breathing practice. Any flames will be used to create salamanders with. And if I'm being really mean I will send legolas to shoot you with his arrow, and Sarah I didn't mean for that to sound like an inuendo!****