Author's note: Well, this takes place just after that chapter.... "All the Way". You know, when Dawn gets her first kiss from this vampire.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Feedback: Really appreciated. You can send it too, to: pixie_millenium@yahoo.com.mx. Or just review.
Dawn ran through the ground. She didn't care. Buffy didn't care. She knew she shouldn't be sneaking out, after almost getting herself and Janice killed. No. Actually it was Janice who almost got them killed. She was the one that introduced her to that guy.
Who cared?
Obviously Buffy didn't.
Send Giles. She had sent Giles! And what he had done? Lecture her. Like she needed a lecture right now. What she needed was a friend. Someone who understood.
She needed her mom.
Buffy could've worked. But she didn't want to talk to her. She just humiliated her in front of Spike, Giles and a bunch of vampires, before killing the guy -ok, vampire -who gave her her first kiss. Well, actually Dawn herself had killed him. But anyway, it was Buffy's fault.
Before she knew it she was in the park -again. What a nice place to think, wasn't it? She walked to the swings, and sat in one.
Once there, the tears started to flow. Unstoppable. She didn't care that Buffy might explode. Actually, at the moment she couldn't care less. Why would she care about what Buffy thought if she didn't care about her being in pain?
In her tears, she didn't see a figure walking toward her. Watching her with sympathy. Dawn felt a strange feeling, and looked up just to see Spike, watching down at her.
Dawn sighed, and looked down again.
"Didn't you have enough fun for today, Lil' Bit?"
"What do you want?" Dawn said, her voice cracking.
Spike noticed her tears, and went to sit to the swing next to her.
"Is something wrong?" he asked, concerned.
"No."
"So you're crying because you find it really fun?"
"It's not funny."
"Oh, come on. Why don't you tell Big Bad here what's wrong?"
"You wouldn't understand."
"Try me."
Dawn took a deep breath. She needed to get this out.
"It's just-" but she stopped, realizing it was Spike she was talking to.
"What?" he asked.
"I can't tell you."
"Why?" he said, rather shocked. Dawn usually seemed to find easy to talk to him.
"Because," she said. "It's you. I mean, you'll probably go and tell Buffy. Besides, you're a guy."
Spike was confused. "Nibblet, what the hell are you talking about?"
"Well, Spike, you love Buffy, don't you? (if he could blush, he'd probably had, being his feelings for the Slayer as obvious as they were), you'd just tell me to shut up, and that I have no idea what I'm talking about."
Spike thought for a moment. She was probably right. But something was obviously bothering the Little Bit, and it wouldn't be good for her to keep it.
"I won't. I promise."
Dawn seemed to think about it. "I don't know. You're still a guy. It'd be weird."
"Oh, come on, luv. Whatever it is you're keeping, it can't be good. It made you cry," he pointed.
"It's nothing, Spike. Really," she sighed. "It's just... it's been a terrible night."
"Oh, c'mon, pet. It's not like you haven't gotten almost eaten before."
Dawn sighed again. Tears in her eyes, again. "Oh, yeah. That too," she muttered, but Spike heard.
"So it isn't about that?"
"I just... can't tell you."
"Why the bloody hell not?"
"Why do you care, anyway?"
"Because," Spike said. Why did he care? He didn't know. He just did. "because I bloody care about you."
Dawn raised an eyebrow. "Really?" she said, sarcastically. "Isn't this just another way to get to my sister?"
"No," he said, coldly. "Now, tell me what the hell is wrong with you!"
"Okay!" she yelled back. "If you really want to know. Which I doubt."
Spike glared at her. "Well..." she started, shyly. "The guy -vamp - I was with... well, we were, you know, making out in his car..."
"Yeah, I figured you were... and I think big sis also did."
"Well... that..." she said. "that was my first kiss..." she said, barely audible. But Spike heard. He didn't know what to say. Dawn continued talking. Now that she had started, she couldn't stop. "And well, Buffy did know. It was kinda obvious. And she didn't care! She sent Giles to talk to me! I mean, Giles! God! And he just lectured me... like I needed a lecture. Like I didn't know what I was doing! I knew I was lying to Buffy. But if she knew we were meeting some guys she wouldn't have let me go. Just because she started dating when she was sixteen! Two boyfriends! In her hole life, she's had two boyfriends. God! And I had to kill him. I had to kill him! That's not my job, it's Buffy's. Why? I just needed someone to talk."
She sighed in again. "I needed my mom. Sometimes I just need her so much. She was the only one who didn't treat me different. When they found out that I was the freaking Key, they all acted as if I might explode in any minute. Just her didn't. She was the only one who didn't treat me different. She loved me for who I am, not what I am. Was. Whatever. And Buffy will never understand that. She's just perfect. The perfect daughter, the perfect friend, the perfect sister," she eyed to Spike. "The perfect lover. She doesn't know what it feels like to being left out. To be different. But I do. Do you know how it feels like? You feel like you're yelling as loud as you can, but still, nobody notices, nobody cares."
Spike stared at the girl in front of him. He could totally relate to what she was feeling. That feeling of being an outcast. That feeling of not belonging anywhere, of not having anybody.
"I know how it feels like," he whispered. Dawn looked up at him. "Being bloody left out. And the Scoobies didn't make it any easier, when they found out that I had feelings for the Slayer."
Why was he telling her this? She was just a kid. Yet, a kid who have had emotions that the Slayer might never feel. A kid that was critical to the world's existance. And that happened to know just how it felt to not belong anywhere.
"And I miss Joyce, too. She was the only one who was nice to me. I liked the lady. And no one ever understood that."
Memories returned to Dawn, the day when Spike helped her get that egg to try and get her mom back. It had helped more to get Buffy to talk to her, but anyway. He had helped.
"Well, and you," he said, after a moment. Dawn looked at him with a 'huh?' look in her eyes. "You didn't mind me being all evil, either. I think. Well, you like my stories, don't you?"
Dawn gave him a little smile. "Yeah. They're cool. Gross, but cool." she said. "Spike?"
"Yeah Bit?"
"Why are you being nice to me? I mean, I know you promised Buffy you would when she was dead and all that. But she's not dead anymore. And well, it isn't like you care."
"I do," he said, unconsciously lighting a cigarette.
"Can I have a bit of that?" she said, eyeing the cigarette.
Spike stared at her. "You smoke?"
"Sometimes. At parties."
"Does Buffy know?" That was a stupid question. But he asked it anyway. Dawn took the cigarette from his mouse, before putting it in hers. Spike watched as the smoke came in and out of her. She really knew how to do this.
She shook her head. "As if. She'd kill me if she found out," she shrugged. "There are a lot of things Buffy doesn't know."
Spike smiled. He liked this attitude in Dawn. Although he knew Buffy wouldn't.
"She's just been... adjusting, you know. But I'm sure she cares."
"I knew you'd defend her," Dawn whispered under her breath.
"I heard that."
"I know you did. You know Spike, I'm not telling her this. It won't help you to jump into her defense. Anyway, you don't need it, you've already got her."
Spike was tempted to ask more about that. But this was about the Nibblet. She didn't need to hear how much he loved the Slayer right now.
"Just talk to her. I can assure you she cares. And I'm not telling you this because of that. I'm telling you this because it's bloody true."
"Yeah..."
"She does."
Dawn smiled. "Well, it felt good to get this out, anyway." She looked up at him. "Thanks."
"Any time, bit."
"I guess I'll better head home. If they find out I sneaked out they'll ground me for life."
"I'll walk you. Just to make sure you get in one piece."
She smiled at him again. She felt a great relieve to know she could count in him. Her smile grew wider as they walk silently to her home.
"Spike?" she said, once reaching her house, before coming in.
"Yeah?"
"You won't tell her, will you? About the cigarette?"
Spike shook his head. "Your secret's safe with me."
Dawn smiled at him, before climbing up and disappearing in her room.
A/N- So, what do you guys think? I'm really more into S/D romances, but I needed to get this out of my head. I'm working in a romance now, I hope to paste it soon.
Please, review!
