Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo! And All its' characters belong to Pioneer.
Or even merely seemed to pine
For want of his approval, why,
Come get him-they knew where to search.
(Ending of 'A Lone Striker' by Robert Frost)
Author's Notes: Yes… Sadly, this is the last chapter of 'All Alone' (sniffles) Argh! I promised myself I wouldn't cry! (Cries anyway) It feels like I just started! (That was over two months ago…) I'm thinking about writing a sequel, but… I'll be asking around just to be sure you guys want me to start that one, or finish 'Washu's Journal.' I'm sorry, but I can't work on two things at the same time, it starts to become a pain in the butt. This is the last chapter… My first story I've ever finished without losing interest in it. I'm so proud! (Hugs the screen)
Conclusion: All Alone
The lab door creaked open, stares from around the room fixitated their eyeballs on it. A flash of cyan came out, and the pirate named Ryoko stood in the opening of the door. Everyone was on the couch, reading or writing, or listening to the quiet music playing in the radio (slow, sad, music, opera-like) Tenchi was the first to stand, but quickly sat back down with a stern stare by her. They waited patiently to hear the summoner's voice, for the answer, and just to hear the sound they had lacked for two weeks. A slight hesitation made their stares sharper. Ryoko relaxed, tried to get her voice to work. Another hesitation. She opened her mouth, but drew back again. They waited. Ryoko let the words creak out of her choked mouth before shrinking into the shadows the room made in the corner, "…She's gone…"
Everyone was shocked, all of their eyes widened, a look of pity for the pirate stamped themselves on their stunned faces. Sasami started crying, and ran into the half-goddess, clutching the woman close as the girl sobbed into her abdomen. No one spoke, and they were too shocked to care. Mihoshi started bawling as loud as Sasami was, her ditzy-like self-taking over. Tenchi hung his head in defeat, choking up the brick that started to build in his throat. Ayeka just stood there, looking as if she'd seen a ghost. Mihoshi's partner was trying her best to calm the ditz down, trying to pat the sadness out of her. Even then, Kiyone had a hard time keeping her tears held.
Washu was dead, and that was all there was to it.
The next few days went by in a long, depressing silence, everyone in the house not daring to try and act cheery, for fear it would corrupt their souls and drive them insane. Ryoko had not drank or slept or ate, even though she was parched, starved, and sleepy, she could find no comfort in eating or drinking. Tenchi seemed to have more bruises on his head from the training Katsuhito gave him, claiming that he had just been falling down a lot. Sasami was in a state of guilt, hate, and rage toward Karagi, the now dead half-Hakubi. The scientist was still in her deathbed, her daughter not even going near the body for fear of losing control of herself.
Ryoko didn't want the body to decay, but she couldn't will herself to go near her deceased mother. Ryo had been extremely helpful, trying to keep her sister's self-esteem alive when it was near dying. The humanoid did the chores around the house, occupying herself in the grief-stricken household. Kiyone and Mihoshi left off into space for a while, catching up on there lost patrolling time.
The pirate wandered unconsciously to the Funaho tree. Her dull eyes scanned the area, her mind not even caring where she went anymore. Cherry Blossom petals flew across her vision, and she fell to her knees, banging the ground with all her might. "Dammit! Damn you mom." She didn't mean it, but the summoner was too broken up to care. "Why'd she die?! Why'd she die?! Why?!" the wind was the only answer she got. Her eyes were dry; she had cried all her tears in the lab. Ryoko started talking to the air like a madman. "I thought we were close… We were close dammit! Then why'd she leave? Why'd she die? I had questions I wanted to ask-she wanted questions she wanted to ask, but she'd never admit it. She asked me whom I was jealous of. Well, if she's so curious- I was jealous of everybody here in a way. I was jealous of Tenchi because he's had a short-lived, happy life, not a long, tortured one. I was jealous of Ayeka because she got whatever damn thing she wanted, I got nothing. I was jealous of Sasami because she's a kid, I never got to live and see my whole childhood like a kid could. I can remember-some, but not all. I was jealous of Mihoshi because she's a bumbling idiot who can hide her mistakes by being clumsy, great way of action.
"I was jealous of Kiyone because… I haven't known her long enough, I don't know. I was jealous of Ryo-ohki because she can hide her feelings a zillion times better than I can, just by living in a cabbit form. But most of all-though the old me would hate to admit it-I was jealous of you, mom. Do you want to know why? Because you're smart, you can hide your emotions almost as good as Ryo can, you can choose to be an adult or a child, and people would still consider you higher than them. You knew how to be a mother. You knew how to…love." She was done; the pirate slammed her fists down one more time and started trembling, blood coming out of her left wrist gem again. Ryoko felt a hand on her shoulder, she could almost feel it-almost. A soft, soothing voice entered her ears, the pirate almost recognized it-almost. "Ryoko…" a voice said quietly, the pirate could have sworn she'd heard it from somewhere before.
The hand felt transparent, emitting a soft glow that reminded the summoner of Tsunami. "Ryoko…" it repeated, louder this time. The pirate shuddered under the tender touch. She answered mentally, what. The voice sighed, and laid another hand on the other shoulder, in a comforting act. "Ryoko, your mother is fine." And the pirate replied. Yeah right. The figure knelt down by the woman, one hand still on Ryoko's shoulder. The pirate refused to shift her gaze, so the voice's face was blocked. "Do you know who I am?" the half-goddess answered dully, "No." the voice sighed again, and the hand trailed from her shoulder to her hand, feeling the pirate flinch under its' touch. "Yes you do." The pirate started trembling again.
She couldn't remember.
"No. I don't." she stated bluntly and dully. The voice shifted its' position. "Yes-you do." The voice was stern, "Listen to your heart." The pirate shuddered yet again, this was too familiar. The voice was being patient with her, waiting for the summoner to think. Ryoko obeyed obediently, looking straight into her heart for answers. Four words echoed stupidly into her brain.
Your crutch-
"No! No! I don't remember! No!" she cried, clutching at her head, snatching the held one away, "I don't remember! I don't!" her eyes squinted shut. The voice remained calm, still staying by the pirate's side. The person knelt down by Ryoko was fully aware that Tenchi and Ayeka were watching, in the brush, silently, watching. The figure was quiet, waiting for the summoner to calm down. She continued to clutch at her head; the memories popping up and slipping away like water through her fingers when she tried to grasp them. The four words dwindled in her brain, remaining untouched, unscathed by the recent images flocking into her brain and leaving. Ryoko remembered little, everything was leaving her.
Her trembling died down a little, her grip on her scalp loosening until they returned to the ground, the semi-transparent figure's hand rested on the Deltans back comfortingly. The half-goddess still avoided gazing into the person next hers eyes. A few moments later the voice spoke again, quieter, yet still as soothing, "Just listen a little harder. That's all I can say." The figure waited yet again as the pirate remained silent, sensing the kindred spirit in the person. She dug a little deeper this time, ignoring the words still echoing in her head. Ryoko closed her eyes, the blood on her left wrist crusting up, leaving a stain on her clothing. Questions popped up in her brain.
Who is my mother?Your mother is Washu.
Washu-what?
Washu Hakubi.
She said that she died.
Yes.
How did she die?
Karagi beat her.
Why?
Tokimi.
Tokimi?
The Goddess of War.
So she died. My mother died?
Yes.
Who is this voice?
Look and find out.
But I don't want to!
You're being a baby.
Newfound hatred welled up inside Ryoko. She hated Karagi; she hoped he suffered in hell. And yet…Pity rose up as well in her chest. To curse him in hell is to curse myself, she told herself, he is my brother, he is my blood. And yes, he is the enemy. Her thoughts were scattered, she barely remembered the task the voice had told her to do. She couldn't even remember her own name that split second. The person next to her remained silent, patiently waiting for the pirate to answer. Tenchi and Ayeka watched quietly in the brush. The water by the two of them rippled, making another, and then another, until there half of the lake was consumed by small ripples, quietly crashing into each other blindly as they hit the middle, near impossible to see. A second later, Ryoko spoke, yet in a language Tenchi did not understand.
"Hui foy tenho, Tsunami,"
The figure winced, then spoke calmly yet again, wanting to drive the pirate out of her madness, "You are no fool, Ryoko. Do not call yourself one. At least not while I'm here," the figure muttered, now known as Tsunami. The summoner doubted both her mind and her heart.
If her mind lies, then why not the heart? If the heart lies, why not the mind? No one knows the damned truth of anything, not even herself. That only left one thing to question.
The soul.
She abandoned the world, forgetting the memories of her past life; she pictured herself flying faster than she'd ever gone before, faster than even the swiftest comet. Her body fell limp into Tsunami's arms. The pirate urged her pictured self to go faster, and it did, going twice as fast. Little images and sounds racked into her concentration. Ryoko forced them out, beating them away. Voices interrupted, the summoner forced herself to become deaf. She flew fast, and soon she blacked out.
Tenchi fought the urge to go over to the fallen form of Ryoko. He fought the urge to go over and say everything would be all right, that he knew how she felt.
In reality, he only knew half of what she felt.
Yes, he lost his mother. Yes, Ryoko had lost her mother also. They had another thing in common, and yet he didn't understand. Tenchi had lost his mother because of a sickness. Ryoko had lost hers because of lack of blood, or so he assumed. Yet Ryoko had lost a mother she barely knew, barely even got to get familiar with before she was taken away by the hands of death. The half-breed didn't understand.
He understood nothing.
A slight shake on her shoulder brought the woman back to conciseness. The Deltan sat up drowsily, not remembering what she had done. She was sitting on a field of brilliant green grass. A soft breeze throwing her hair about, though it was shorter than it had been a month ago. Another shake brought her to reality. The half-goddess glanced over, and saw a woman with fiery hair sitting next to her, adult in size. She wore a dark blue undershirt, a light tan one underneath, a fancy looking brown-green-and pink buttoned together in the middle with golden embroidery. Near the top, a light blue gem encased in a golden outside with two wing-looking things flapping out, ribbon-like clothe hanging from them. Her red hair was held in a crab-like position, a wooden looking headband holding it back. She had startling emerald eyes, and a face feature that matched her own.
The woman smiled at her. A word twiddled itself outside the summoner's mouth before she could control it, "…Mom…" she was shocked in saying the word, the pirate didn't recognize her at all, and it just came out. The woman smiled broader, and put an arm around the Deltan, her hand dangling lazily over the summoner's shoulder. The wind blew another gentle breeze as the red haired woman rocked them both. She seemed to be proud, being able to hold the pirate like that, but the half-goddess couldn't figure out why. Unconsciously, she had leaned into her. The woman with fiery red hair kept rocking, the wind whistling a tune heard only by their ears.
"You know? This has always been a little dream of mine, sitting on a hill. Alone. With my daughter, just listening to the wind." The woman muttered quietly to Ryoko, who didn't flinch when she touched her. The Deltan didn't need to talk; the woman who claimed to be her mother heard everything. They continued to rock against the wind, listening to each other's minds quietly, analyzing. "And so I'm dead…I'm dead…" the woman muttered, viewing a picture in the pirate's mind. Ryoko finally understood why Tokimi had said that this woman was her crutch.
Without her, she'd go insane, as she so closed to doing until Tsunami appeared.
She leaned on the woman for support, not entirely, but enough for a child to rely on its' parents.
And yet she was still confused, she was supposed to be talking to her soul. The woman-her mother-was obviously hurt by the knowledge of finding herself dead. "The soul…the soul…I've gotta reach it…the soul…the soul…" Ryoko muttered quietly, barely audible to even herself. The woman gave her a gentle squeeze for comfort. "And who do you think I am?" she asked, giving another squeeze, still rocking with the wind. The summoner was literally shocked, and twitched nervously under the woman's grasp. "I know what you're thinking." She said soothingly, trying to keep the pirate in a calm state. The soul… I thought it was myself… I thought the soul was you-your living entity-the pure side. Ryoko uttered to herself, knowing that Washu would hear. Another squeeze made her lose all thought of doubt. "I am your soul, Ryoko." The woman stated, making another rock.
They rocked against the wind, listening to each other's thoughts.
Tenchi fought down another urge to stand up and run over to Ryoko. It had been almost an hour now, Tsunami patiently holding the limp summoner gently in her arms. Ayeka was sitting next to him, still thinking about what the pirate had said about being jealous. 'She's jealous of me. Ryoko is jealous is jealous because I get everything I want? Well, that's half-true. If I got everything I wanted, I'd be more like her. Tomboyish, wild, not shy. Who knows? Maybe we could have many things in common had it not been my being a princess…' the princess was quiet, making the half-breed forget she was even there. Ayeka knew whom he had chosen, she had known for a long time now, and it still brought pain to her heart.
Tenchi had chosen Ryoko.
How might she know, you might ask? Ayeka herself had known since the Zero incident. At first she thought it had been pity for the machine. But the way he held her… The longing look in his eyes that he had fought hard not to show. It was revealed soon after in her dreams that he had been oblivious to the fact that Zero was Zero, not Ryoko. As soon as she'd figured it out, the princess tried to keep it looking like she didn't know a thing, since Tenchi was so clueless as to reveal his feelings when they had been stamped on his face like a bad thumb when he held Zero. So, over time, Ayeka chose to keep fighting over him, knowing full well that if she didn't, Tenchi would suspect. The polite woman had known that Washu had found out also, also during the way he held her. Ayeka had kept a journal, noting how things were progressing between the two over the weeks. The pages were blank now-Ryoko had locked herself in the lab. She felt pity-remorse- for her now called friend. She took a mental note on the way Tenchi was keeping his emotions locked right next to her, fighting down the urge to run over to Ryoko in front of herself.
Strangely enough, the princess wouldn't mind anymore, it would still make her heart ache, but it felt like just knowing your dog had died. Ayeka didn't care anymore; she wanted the tortured pirate to be happy.
Tsunami took great care in holding the summoner, knowing the consequences hence she might move even the slightest bit. The goddess made sure that she wasn't breathing, not wanting to disturb Ryoko on her trip to see her soul.
"So…you have to go back," the woman mumbled, now standing in front of her daughter. The Deltan nodded reluctantly, "Yeah… I have to go… If I go now, I might make it in time to save you-the you in reality." Ryoko said slowly, still recovering from the mind-blowing amnesia she had a little bit ago. "I know… It's gonna be lonely in here… I waited a long time for you to visit…a long time." The summoner looked down on the ground, kicking at the grass with her feet. "Maybe I could…if I save you…maybe I could visit you during the night? I mean, during my dreams and all that." Washu nodded, holding back a choke, "I'd like that. It'd be nice to talk to someone. I've been locked up in here for quite some time." The pirate took a step closer, "You know… Even though you're the form of my mother… I keep thinking that you're myself, just different looking, with different dreams… Maybe, if-" a finger silenced her, touching the summoner's lips. "No "ifs", our life is full of enough of them. Like "If Kagato hadn't kidnapped me, I'd have a complete memory" or- "If Mom never died, I'd have never met my soul" we've got enough on our hands, why ask "ifs?" Ryoko nodded in agreement, "Yeah, you're right. Well… I'd best be going…" she turned around, but felt a hand on her shoulder. The woman's voice soothed itself into her ears.
"Just promise me this, when you get your mom back, take her to a hill, and do what I did. You don't have to do it in the near future, just promise that you'll do that for me. Mom wants that dream; she never got to have it with you when you were seventeen-actually seventeen. Just promise me."
Ryoko smiled, and muttered before flying back to her body, "Yeah, I promise."
The trip back to physical reality was easier than the way there; the memories flocking into her brain were pleasant ones. The summoner didn't care anymore whether she remembered what happened before she was abducted, but that didn't matter, she remembered enough. She didn't black out like last time, and felt herself open her eyes to face Tsunami.
Tsunami was smiling, a goddess was smiling. Ryoko instantly blushed when she found herself to be in her arms, and quickly jerked out, muttering an apology quickly. Tsunami started chuckling, "It's all right… Do you see now?" Ryoko nodded, "Yes, thanks for helping me, Tsunami."
"Don't mention it. Say hi to Tria for me." A ripple appeared in the water, and the Jurian holy one was gone. The summoner was confused, 'Who 'was' Tria?' she put the thought off until later.
Time to save Mom!
Ryoko phased from sight, appearing in front of the lab door. She fought down the shame of walking into the lab, and opened the door, feeling her heart feel like it was ripping to shreds. 'No… Gotta last a little longer… I must get to her!' that was all the advice she needed as she plunged into the darkened subspace area. The door disappeared behind her, and the pirate walked to the part of the lab where she died. Guilt rose like a jet in her heart, and she fought it down, yet again, as she entered quietly into the room.
It was unusually quiet, too quiet; the machines in the lab were off.
Ryoko walked to the form of Washu, almost collapsing had it not been for the handy advice her soul had given her. Wincing at the sight of a dead person, the smell of decay had not yet wafted off the scientist yet.
"She's waiting… Her soul is waiting…" she muttered, and pulled up a chair, this was gonna take a looong time.
Files of Ryouko Hakubi, Entry 1:
If you're reading this. It means I'm probably gone. Not dead gone, just gone, into space. At the time while Mom was dead, I went mad, I wouldn't eat, I wouldn't drink, I wouldn't drink for heaven's sake! I felt like the last piece I had left to stay sane was gone. In other words, I went berserk. I started talking to the air, walking around like a deadman, looking for his 'dead drink.' I kept on doing that for three days. On the third day, I ended up wandering to the Funaho Tree. My memory during that time is blurry. I was like, really drunk, and yet it never wore off. The answer was simple, I was going insane. Somehow, Tsunami must have heard what had happened from Sasami (poor little Sasami, sorry for leaving you guys like that) and came to help me. I was on the edge of going totally insane, because at the time, I had lost memory of those around me. Tsunami came to the rescue. She was patient with me. I know now that Tenchi and Ayeka were spying on me, making sure I didn't do anything 'too' drastic. They heard the entire thing. Tsunami helped me jump-start into talking with me soul, since I was unsure whether the heart or brain was telling the truth. As I said earlier.
If the heart lies, then why not the mind? If the mind lies, then why not the heart? Confusing, I know, but at the time it felt right to say that. Tsunami pushed me into talking with my soul. And what I found, I could barely believe. Mom was my soul, or rather. It was I, just in Mom's form, yet she knew her dreams and wishes and such. She told me the answers, or rather helped me with them, because the me in that world was part of the soul also. I found out, after studying a little, that anyone who was close to you, "really" close to you, in a bond like Tenchi and his mother, they, too, would be a part of your soul, no matter how hard you deny it. I returned to my body and thanked Tsunami, who merely said, "Don't mention it. And say hi to Tria for me." I don't know what she means by that, but I intend to find out in space.
I went back to the room that had become Mom's deathbed, and knelt over her, putting my right hand in her left, my left in her right. As you guessed, a circle was formed. This was old Deltan magic, the kind that only historians know of, though there aren't any Deltan historians left in the universe ('cept for me of course!) the circle is powerful magic, and needs incredible power to make. I can't tell you all the details, because (No offense Ayeka and Sasami, and Tenchi) Jurians aren't meant to know. I have nothing against you, but just in case someone wheedled it outta you, well, let's just say all Hell would break loose. I gave Mom her gem back, returning the other to Ryo, and I gave back my true gem to the Tenchi-ken, I don't want the old man dying on Tenchi, he's lost enough. So… After I gave Mom her gem back, her heart started beating again, slowly, but I knew she would recover.
And yet I knew I couldn't stay. I didn't know why, but I kept having a hunch that I had to go. Into space. I couldn't get it offa me, so I decided I would go into space. So I decided, mentally, that I would go into space and leave this record behind if Mom ever tried to figure out where I went. I just want to let you know, that I don't want to be found. I've decided that I'll be visiting "Todain" my birthplace. And then, after that, I'll visit "Delta" to see if they're any survivors. We can't let the Deltan dwindle and die! And after I complete my rounds of that planet, I've decided that I'll go to Jurai, I'm going to make a stand and apologize to Azusa, I want to say that I'm sorry for doing what I did. I want to clear my name. I know you're probably saying that I might get killed in the process. But you forget. I'm Ryoko the Space Pirate! If I get thrown into jail, I don't care, if I get beaten to a bloody pulp, I don't care. All I want to do is say sorry and that'll be the end of it, maybe this hell I call a life will stop haunting me. Maybe I'll pair up with Minagi on the way, since she gets confused for me all the time. I want you to also know that I won't be contacting you, I need to do this without you pestering me to come back and be safe.
Nope, I'm going to go through with this, even if it costs my frigging life. Mom, if you're reading this, I'm sorry if is seems like I'm deserting everything behind me, but I couldn't ignore that little message in my brain. Oh hell, I just want to say that I love you very much. Please tell Sasami that I'm sorry for leaving, and that it wasn't her fault. Tell Tenchi that too.
Maybe I'll meet this Tria on my trip. In space, the longest I'll be gone for is six months, heh; I'll be eighteen by the time I get back! August 23rd is right around the corner! Ahem, well, if I'm gone longer than that, then, and only then, will I contact you. Another reason I thought up in space, the reason to come up here that is, is that I want to get some answers to my questions. I can't list them; they're too many and would waste your time. Well, one is why the Jurians did what they did to the Deltans, I intend to ask Azusa that.
Now don't start crying because you think I'm throwing my life into the garbage, because I'm not. I'm doing what I've wanted to do for seven hundred years, clear my name. And I hope you respect my wishes. There are a few questions I know the answer to. Answers I've known for a long time.
Like…
What am I?
I am a Devil Caller.
Who am I?
I am Ryoko Hakubi
End.
Author's Notes: This chapter is shorter than the rest, I know, but I don't want a really long one, either. Just a quick, short one. I'm planning on a sequel, but I'm wondering whether I should finish Washu's Journal first. (Starts crying louder) WAHHHHHHH!!!!! I ACTUALLY FINISHED A STORY!!! I'm SO proud! WAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1-I don't know what to say… But I'm glad you like this story, and thank you for reviewing!