Disclaimer: I own nothing more than my half glass of orange juice.
1.1 Promising Today
5 years…it was hard to believe that much time had gone by since he was last there. 5 years since he and his lover had parted ways.
They parted on good terms, of course, each to pursue his own career, neither having the time for a serious relationship. It was inevitable that they would part…
And yet, here he was, 5 years later, at the same spot where he had met his now ex-lover 7 years ago. The same sense of familiarity was still there. It was still their spot. It was where his love would eventually go if he was depressed or angry, it was where he would go when he needed time to think and be alone. This place was theirs and theirs alone.
It was late, and the park was empty. He leaned against the railing overlooking the city, taking in the lights. Ah, the nightlife in Japan, how could something so garish during the day be so beautiful at night?
He took a deep breath, flicking away the remains of his cigarette. Somewhere is his mind, a very familiar voice was singing to him, nervously, emotion filling each syllable. He would never admit it, but those words were lovely, as badly written as they were, they poured out emotion that his own words could never do.
Listening to the CDs, watching the music videos and the concerts on TV just wasn't the same. The emotion and the feeling were all there, but somehow it was didn't sound the same as when it was sung just for him. No, those songs were special, and he cherished them deep in his heart, is a neat little corner reserved just for those songs…and their pink-haired singer…just a little corner…really.
5 years had gone by, he still thought of Shuichi. He still remembered each kiss, each touch, each word whispered in the dark. Every tear, every sigh, smile, hug and caress, they were all tucked into that corner. He knew that he would probably never forget the boy. The first to get near him in so long. Perhaps that was why he was back in the park where the wind brought life back into his life.
He paused, thinking on that thought. Maybe he would put it in his next book… No, too cliché. He tossed that thought away as he reached into his pocket for his pack of cigarettes. Taking out his silver lighter, he gently ran his thumb over the worn sticker picture there. The image on it had long faded, but the memory was imprinted permanently in his mind.
Somewhere in his mind, the timid voice was singing again. Just for him, only him. He leaned over the railing, staring out over the city. Odd, the voice was getting louder, bolder. It had never done that before.
He looked up, hearing the tap-tap of someone's shoes on the walkway. He turned slowly, hoping it wasn't, praying it was.
His heart beat faster as the figure came closer. His half smoked cigarette fell from his hand as his eyes locked with the soft violet eyes that he had not seen in person for 5 years. Pictures and TV could never do those eyes justice, not to him anyway. But now those eyes were staring straight at him with the same type of raw emotion that was flowing from his mouth as he sang each word for him.
He swallowed hard, trying to retain his cool composure. As the last words of the song fell from the young man's lips, he took a small step forward.
"Shuichi…"
The young man smiled, stepping forward as well so that they were inches apart.
"Hello…Yuki"
That smile, those eyes, that voice and suddenly all the memories came flooding back. He managed a smirk, but he knew he wouldn't be able to fool Shuichi.
Suddenly he found himself with an armful of pink-haired J-pop singer, and time they spent apart was gone.
All that mattered was the boy, a young man now, in his arms.
And in the back of his mind, the timid voice grew bolder and louder on its own. He smiled, knowing that the voice would always sing for him, only him, and that the emotion in those words was his and his alone. That was something that he would not, could not share with anyone else.
Gently stroking Shuichi's hair, he told himself that would not let him go again. This time, it was for good. He wasn't going to promise forever, because he knew he couldn't make promises based upon tomorrow, but he could promise Shuichi all of his today's.
"There's only now, there's only here.
Give into love, or live in fear.
No other path, no other way
No day but today."
~Jonathan Larson.
1.1 Promising Today
5 years…it was hard to believe that much time had gone by since he was last there. 5 years since he and his lover had parted ways.
They parted on good terms, of course, each to pursue his own career, neither having the time for a serious relationship. It was inevitable that they would part…
And yet, here he was, 5 years later, at the same spot where he had met his now ex-lover 7 years ago. The same sense of familiarity was still there. It was still their spot. It was where his love would eventually go if he was depressed or angry, it was where he would go when he needed time to think and be alone. This place was theirs and theirs alone.
It was late, and the park was empty. He leaned against the railing overlooking the city, taking in the lights. Ah, the nightlife in Japan, how could something so garish during the day be so beautiful at night?
He took a deep breath, flicking away the remains of his cigarette. Somewhere is his mind, a very familiar voice was singing to him, nervously, emotion filling each syllable. He would never admit it, but those words were lovely, as badly written as they were, they poured out emotion that his own words could never do.
Listening to the CDs, watching the music videos and the concerts on TV just wasn't the same. The emotion and the feeling were all there, but somehow it was didn't sound the same as when it was sung just for him. No, those songs were special, and he cherished them deep in his heart, is a neat little corner reserved just for those songs…and their pink-haired singer…just a little corner…really.
5 years had gone by, he still thought of Shuichi. He still remembered each kiss, each touch, each word whispered in the dark. Every tear, every sigh, smile, hug and caress, they were all tucked into that corner. He knew that he would probably never forget the boy. The first to get near him in so long. Perhaps that was why he was back in the park where the wind brought life back into his life.
He paused, thinking on that thought. Maybe he would put it in his next book… No, too cliché. He tossed that thought away as he reached into his pocket for his pack of cigarettes. Taking out his silver lighter, he gently ran his thumb over the worn sticker picture there. The image on it had long faded, but the memory was imprinted permanently in his mind.
Somewhere in his mind, the timid voice was singing again. Just for him, only him. He leaned over the railing, staring out over the city. Odd, the voice was getting louder, bolder. It had never done that before.
He looked up, hearing the tap-tap of someone's shoes on the walkway. He turned slowly, hoping it wasn't, praying it was.
His heart beat faster as the figure came closer. His half smoked cigarette fell from his hand as his eyes locked with the soft violet eyes that he had not seen in person for 5 years. Pictures and TV could never do those eyes justice, not to him anyway. But now those eyes were staring straight at him with the same type of raw emotion that was flowing from his mouth as he sang each word for him.
He swallowed hard, trying to retain his cool composure. As the last words of the song fell from the young man's lips, he took a small step forward.
"Shuichi…"
The young man smiled, stepping forward as well so that they were inches apart.
"Hello…Yuki"
That smile, those eyes, that voice and suddenly all the memories came flooding back. He managed a smirk, but he knew he wouldn't be able to fool Shuichi.
Suddenly he found himself with an armful of pink-haired J-pop singer, and time they spent apart was gone.
All that mattered was the boy, a young man now, in his arms.
And in the back of his mind, the timid voice grew bolder and louder on its own. He smiled, knowing that the voice would always sing for him, only him, and that the emotion in those words was his and his alone. That was something that he would not, could not share with anyone else.
Gently stroking Shuichi's hair, he told himself that would not let him go again. This time, it was for good. He wasn't going to promise forever, because he knew he couldn't make promises based upon tomorrow, but he could promise Shuichi all of his today's.
"There's only now, there's only here.
Give into love, or live in fear.
No other path, no other way
No day but today."
~Jonathan Larson.