Kaiooshin-kai: A History

Book of Wands, part 3: Omniscience

A DBZ fanfiction by LadyRivka

Hoshiko couldn't believe she had made such a deal with Ban'noh's parents. To put it quite simply, the young future god was getting on her nerves, any way he knew how. But then again, his parents were constantly pestered by his incessant telepathic nagging for food or toys or books or some such. She thought she could handle him; after all, he was only four, and she had dealt with Kaiooshins older than he before. What could be the big deal? she had thought.

She later found out that raising the child was a VERY big deal, not only because he was quick and cunning and seemingly liked to make a fool out of her, but also because the fate of the Universe would soon rest upon his shoulders. This she knew; and it was this she would repeat in her head every time Ban'noh-kun was acting up.

Hoshiko had bought herself some room by giving the young god a book of spells to read. Or so she thought. He had flipped through the thousand-odd pages within thirty minutes, and was now happily turning grass into chocolate.

Hoshiko, to put it mildly, was mad. "Ban'noh, you're not supposed to use magick like that! It's only for good purposes!"

Oh, really, she heard. Well, chocolate's good. With that Ban'noh stuffed his face full of chocolate again and smirked.

Damn, he's got me wrapped around his little finger, she thought.

He smiled, knowingly, put the chocolate down, examined his pinky, and said, "You're too big for that."

The kid had something there. Adults tended to overlook the literal parts of idiomatic language, even the gods. Children, on the other hand, seemed to have knowledge beyond that of their elders at points.

She was curious now. Could a four-year-old god know everything? Quickly, she thought of some koans the older East Kaiooshin had taught her to use in meditation.

"Ban'noh, what is the sound of one hand clapping?"

The child looked at Hoshiko intently, with deep, penetrating charcoal eyes, and, without a moment's hesitation, said, "One of two things. It is either the sound of a waterless waterfall or the sound, barely audible, of millions of air molecules colliding into said hand."

"Oh, my God…" stuttered the mage. "You…you…it took me FIVE YEARS to figure that out!"

"I'm not your god yet," answered the child, "but I can already tell you're fairly slow of mind. But I'll forgive you, because you're supposed to be my sensee." He smiled, an eerily omniscient smile. "I learn magick now, yes?"

"Yes. Time for magick." Hoshiko took Ban'noh by the hand to an empty field where he would learn defensive spells, creation spells, destruction spells, and the like.

This was going to be a very hard day.

TO BE CONTINUED….

A/N: A koan is a Zen Buddhist riddle, designed to not really have a logical answer. Another example is "Prove that a dog does not have a Buddha-nature", or, in popular American culture, "If a tree falls in the woods, and there's no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?"