I hated Valentine's Day. Having been single for all seventeen years of my life so far, I'd never had a reason to celebrate. For a few years I got given gifts from boys at school but after they realized I wasn't going to reciprocate, they stopped. Since starting high school no one had bothered even trying.
Well, except Mason of course, he was never discouraged by my lack of response. Every year, without fail, he would find me on the way to class and hand me a box of chocolates and a single rose, and every year I would thank him with a kiss on the cheek. I honestly think that one kiss would give him a high that lasted until the next Valentine's Day. Knowing that I would never get to experience that again made me want to curl up into a ball and cry until I physically couldn't anymore. I just wanted to see his smiling face turn bright red as I pulled my lips away from his cheek, to see him walk all giddily to his first class. It was such an endearing sight.
God, I missed him so much.
But there was no point dwelling on the loss of Mason, I'd done enough of that since he died. Today wasn't the day for that.
It was, however, the day I had been dreading since Lissa and Christian got together; the day I would be spending my first Valentine's Day alone. I knew it was coming now that she had a boyfriend but it didn't mean I wasn't kind of put out. I was going to miss our nights in together, watching movies and snacking on way too much junk food. I mean, who needed a boyfriend when you had your best friend beside you to be lonely with? She was all that mattered to me anyway.
I didn't tell her any of that, though, as she already seemed so sorry telling me about her plans with Christian. Instead I assured her I would be fine by myself. It was a Sunday after all and I had done no homework over the weekend so I probably should at least pretend to have taken a look. I couldn't think of a better way to spend my evening.
My afternoon training session with Dimitri finished just past 7 and as I was in no rush to get back to my room, I took some time to stretch my soon-to-be aching muscles. Dimitri was still in the gym as well, doing some extra workouts of his own, and I found my gaze constantly drifting over to him.
I loved watching him workout, and him lifting weights was my absolute favourite. With his back to me I could see his muscles rippling underneath his black tank top, flexing in ways that made my mouth water. I just wanted to run my hands over him, my tongue following right behind. He was too gorgeous for his own good.
The longer I watched him in silence the more turned on I was getting and knowing it wasn't going to go anywhere fun, I forced myself to look away. I was kind of bored of sitting in silence, though, so I picked myself off the ground and headed over in his direction to bother him.
"So, got any Valentine's plans for tonight, comrade?" I asked, reaching back to stretch my leg.
"Other than resting in my room with one of my books, no," he said, eyes flicking over to me. "Do you?"
"Nah, I'm alone for the night. Lissa and I used to hang out but she's got Christian now so..." I shrugged, switching to my other leg.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"It's fine, I knew it would happen eventually. I just didn't think I'd end up being the single one." I paused for a second, realizing how mean I probably sounded. "Not that Lissa doesn't deserve a boyfriend or anything...God, I sound like such a bitch right now."
Dimitri just chuckled, shaking his head. "There's nothing wrong with being single on Valentine's Day, you know."
"Sure, but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. Especially when you have someone you want to be with."
I took a sneaky glance at him and my heart stuttered when we made eye contact and I saw a flash of longing pass over his face. It was gone almost as quickly as it came but it was enough to let me know that he felt the same.
"I know," he said, so quietly that I almost couldn't hear him. We kept eye contact for what felt like hours but he eventually looked away and I forced myself to do the same. Knowing nothing good would come from me staying any longer I headed over to where my bag was sitting and began packing it up for the day. Before I could leave, however, I heard Dimitri call my name again. I turned back to him and found him walking over to me, a present in his hand.
"This is for you," he said quietly as he handed it to me.
"When did you..."
"I had some free time a while ago," he said. "I was buying something for my mother when I saw this. It made me think of you."
I wasn't one to cry easily, but hearing him admit that he thought about me when we weren't together made me tear up immediately. I tried to blink to will the tears away but one managed to slip down my cheek and of course he saw it.
"Oh, Roza..." he whispered, one hand coming up to cup my cheek.
"I'm sorry I didn't get you anything," I said.
"I don't need anything," he said.
I knew he meant it but I still wanted to show him how much his gift meant to me. Not knowing how else to do so, I wrapped my arms around him, burying myself in his chest. He hesitated for a second, probably taken off guard, but then wrapped himself around me and brought his head down to rest on top of mine.
"Thank you," I whispered.
"Anything for you, Roza," he replied.
I lifted my head so I was looking up at him instead and before I could talk myself out of it, I stood on my toes to press a kiss on his cheek. I felt him take a sharp intake of breath when my lips met his skin but he didn't pull away so I let them linger for a few seconds longer before dropping away. I gave him a big smile as I pulled myself out of his arms and he sent one back, his gorgeous face lighting up and making my heart flutter.
I turned away to leave again but, all of a sudden before I could get too far, his hand shot out and grabbed one of mine, spun me around, and pulled me back to him. Before I could question him, his free hand slid into my hair and he brought me into a soft kiss. I gasped in surprise but quickly snapped myself out of it to reciprocate the kiss before he could pull away.
The kiss didn't last long but it was amazing all the same. Warmth spread over my entire body, like I was being engulfed in flames (but in a good way). His lips were so soft against mine and his hand was holding the back of my head so gently. I never wanted him to let go, I could very happily have stayed kissing him for the rest of my life.
When he did pull away after a few seconds, he rested his forehead on mine for a couple more, letting our noses brush together.
For that short amount of time, I let myself picture us actually being together. With my eyes shut I could imagine us coming home from a Valentine's date, me wrapped up in Dimitri's arms while he told me how much he loved me. The thought made my whole being ache, it was heartbreaking to think of the future we would never have. But, in a way, I also loved it. I wanted it so bad.
Dimitri eventually pulled away from me, taking a step back, but with his hand still linked with mine.
"Happy Valentine's Day," he whispered softly. I mouthed it back, suddenly not finding the words to speak, watching our hands as they dropped apart when he took another step back. I left very quickly after that, rushing back to my dorm before I could convince myself to go back and kiss him again.
Once I was safely locked away in my room, I sat down on the end of my bed and looked down at the present in my hands. I had no idea what it could be, the shape was really unassuming, but to be honest I didn't care what was inside. Just knowing Dimitri bought it solely for me for Valentine's Day was enough for it to be my most prized possession.
I still opened it of course and a huge grin broke out on my face when I saw a beautiful red blouse and a pack of hair ties. The hair ties were obviously more of a joke gift, he knew I knew how much he loved my hair, but the blouse meant a lot. We'd spoken before about me not getting to feel like a girl much with our profession and I loved that he was letting me know I still could.
As I lifted the blouse out of the box to get a closer look, a piece of paper slipped out and fell to the floor, landing by my feet. I bent down to pick it up and my heart leapt into my throat seeing a hand-written note.
I hope these help you see yourself how I see you: a strong, loyal, fiery woman who deserves to be reminded how beautiful she truly is.
Love,Your Valentine
That night, for the first time in a very long time, I dell asleep with a smile on my face.
And even the next morning when I was having breakfast with Lissa in my new blouse, I couldn't keep the giddy look off my face.
"That's a cute top, where did you get it?" Lissa asked.
Making eye contact with Dimitri across the hall, I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear and say, "My Valentine."