TITLE: Whimper
AUTHOR: Bellerophon
EMAIL: bellerophon_666@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: WWF
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, nor do I claim to.
DISTRIBUTION: Anyone can have this story as long as they ask first.
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: Stephanie's thoughts after she got kicked out of the WWF
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I seriously can't remember where hat quote is from. If anyone could help me out, I'd be very very grateful. In good news, I found my disk and am working on my other stories. It may take awhile coz I'm in the middle of school tests at the moment.
WHIMPER
And so the world ends. Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't know where I know that from. It keeps running through my head. One stupid line, over and over again. I'm choking on the words as they form in my mouth. I don't want to say it. I don't want to think it. I damn sure as hell don't want to feel it.
I'm out of the WWF. I'm out of my father's business. I'm out of my lifelong dream. I'm out of my home, my sanctuary, my playground. I'm out of my whole world.
And my estranged husband was the one who kicked me out.
Hunter pinned me and counted down my time left in the Federation. One. Two. Three.
Oh God. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god. I didn't know I could feel like this. I didn't ever think I just freeze up. But I have. Alone in my motel room. I closed the door, stood against it, breathed out, and now I can't move. It all rushed up against me, the whole horrible night, and slammed my breath away. I don't want to move. You see, even as the feel of Hunter taking away my life reverberates through me, I keep thinking it's not real. If I don't move, if time stops, then I'm not really gone. I'm not left behind.
Hunter was so happy. He was smiling the way he used to smile, when we screwed some one over, when one of our plans pulled together. And now he's smiling without me. He doesn't need me any more.
That son of a bitch just changed. Didn't tell me, didn't warn me, didn't send me a fucking memo. He just changed. At some point between destroying his knee and rejoining the WWF, he stopped wanting to plot and plan. He decided he was going to come back as a fan favourite and how the hell could he do that with me around. The fans will never be on my side. So Hunter pushed me aside. And when I fought back, he got rid of me.
Hunter is the same cold bastard he always was. Except no one cares if he turns on me. No one cares if he screws me over. Therefore it doesn't matter if my career is over because of something he's done. He's the goddamned golden boy. I hope the fans and all those fucking wrestlers find out what an asshole they've decided to pal up to. Everyone loves Triple H backstage. Most heels sneered at him. most faces loved him. Only Jericho and I took him on.
We took him on and we lost.
Jericho. I haven't seen him since I was…removed from the arena. I don't know for sure, but he's probably hurt. There were a few phone calls which I left unanswered. Mainly because the phone is too far away. A frigging mile across a few feet of carpet. And I'm still frozen.
I didn't see it coming, you know. Hunter just left me behind. He moved on, wanted more and I stayed the same. I didn't fit the role of a good guys wife. My voice can be screechy, people tell me that like I don't know. I wear slutty clothes, like so many divas in the WWF don't. I screw people over who think I'm their friend. I expect a lot from people. Hunter just wasn't willing to give any more.
I know this hurts me so much more than it hurts him. Some where along the line, I actually began to give a damn about him. When he fucked me, I mistook it for making love. When he called me to find out what was going on in the world of wrestling, I thought he was calling for me. So at some point in our business arrangement I loved him. I honest to god loved him.
And he spat it in my face, like that water he sprays everywhere.
I only told him I was pregnant because I could see it in his eyes. I could see the disapproval. I guess around the same time I began to care for him, he began to care about the fans. So I told him I was carrying his child, so I could hang onto him. He was my husband and I fucking loved him, even if he didn't give a damn about me. So I lied to him.
He found out, threw me aside at our second wedding. It meant so much to me that we were going to be married seriously, my daddy walking me down the aisle. My little girl dreams of a white wedding coming true. And Hunter was finally looking at me like he loved me. No, he loved the baby I wasn't pregnant with. Do you know that for a while I loved that baby too? I thought about kissing it and naming it and cuddling it. Then poof! It was gone, Hunter's wedding ring was gone and our marriage was over.
Here I am now. Can't move, can't feel, can't see. Actually I can feel the tears slipping down my cheeks.
And I thought I was done crying.
I thought I couldn't cry any more actually. I screamed as I was being removed, went into hysterics as the security men carried me to my limo. I sobbed the whole way back to the hotel. The driver opened the door and then I stopped. I had no more left. I had nothing left inside me.
The federation will move on without me. I won't see Daddy any more. I won't be able to help to help Chris get his title back. I won't be able to form alliances and plans. I won't be the Billion Dollar Princess any more.
I'll just be Stephanie McMahon. I don't know who that is any more. I haven't known for a long time, maybe.
The Federation will move on without me. I forget that it doesn't really need the individual. Just the conglomerate of people who work together. I've been chipped off and it will keeping rolling without me. Leaving me on my own.
I wanted to go out differently. I knew I wouldn't be in there forever. I wanted to end with a bang. A final triumph. Instead all I got in the end was humiliation and defeat. I can't breathe.
All I can do is stand against the door and whimper through my tears. And hope the sun never rises.
I want the world to end.