You swore, it wouldn't happen again
Always falling for the wrong kind of man
Falling fast into his bed
Her silent tears fell from her eyes as she hastily tried to cover own nakedness with a flimsy blanket. Spike Dudley had long since gone, not so much as a look of disgust when he looked at her before leaving. She had made the same mistake once again, after she had promised herself, no more. But with Spike's winning smiles and charming demeanor, she believed him when he had told her that he loved her. She let him make love to her that night.
Not love. She thought. It was just…just…
Her body shuddered at the thought. Her skin felt like though she had taken a dive into filth, she felt so unclean..as if she would never be completely pure after tonight. Then again, she never was pure, not since the innocent days of her childhood. Through her unfocused eyes, she gave a once over to the room. The wallpaper, grayed in color, peeling off the edges, the door, only an unstable seeming flip lock protecting her from intruders. She had once believed she was better than this, better than some ringrat who was only good for a cheap fuck in a fifty-dollar hotel room.
When will you learn, when will you learn
He looks out for himself
You think he's something else
You can't see, that he couldn't care less
While amidst growing up, her father had continuously told her that she was better than the others, and that no harm would come her way, that he would always protect her from the dangers of the world. She didn't know what those dangers were, but she held the promise tightly in her hand. She had assumed that if she believed enough, then her father would be able to keep her from getting consumed into the dark world, though now she was aware of how unrealistic she was, how unrealistic her father had been.
Once she became an adult, that promise drifted farther from her mind until it was nothing more than a dust on her shirt. As the promise drifted, so did her relationship with her father. She had wanted freedom, and he would have none of it. The man she was in love with at that time, Adam Copeland, a man who worked in the same business as she, convinced her to break away from her father's grasp, as he had called it. She had packed her bags, never once looking back before stepping out into the world. Adam had left her a short while after for another woman, the only excuse he was able to say to her being that their relationship had diminished. Now that she thought back, she longed to have just listened to her father's wishes without question. Her own disobedience led to her own destruction.
She was strong-minded, refusing to go crawling back to her father. She thought that if she worked hard, she would no longer need her father's support, or anyone else's, just as long as her brother stayed by her side. Her brother was the rock that she leant on, she surely would have been weakened by Adam's abrupt leave if it had not been for her brother, who had told her she could do better, and she had, like a fool, agreed.
As time went on, her brother's support was no longer enough, she slipped farther and farther back into her mind where no negativity could touch her. She slept with other wrestlers; hoping one would see her for the person she truly was. None did, a nod in her way before they were off back into the world, making names for themselves while she stood, alone.
When will you learn
Don't be careless and you won't get burned
When will you see
Love's not as easy as you want it to be
Buying the ECW and WCW with her brother had begun to resurface her old self, but that didn't last long. Chris Jericho had dissipated any ounce of self-esteem she had managed to gain in the short time she had co-owned two of the companies.
She had been out in the ring; her brother right by her side as she discussed matters that she had thought needed attending to. When entrance music other than hers had started, she glanced back at the ramp, wondering if it could be her father.
It hadn't, but it had been a blonde haired, blue-eyed man by the name of Chris Jericho.
He was entertaining the crowd, talking trash about her companies.
"Do you know what 'ECW' stands for boys and girls? It's talking about how 'Every Customer Welcome' when it comes to the billion dollar princess." Jericho snickered, holding the side of his stomach, laughing like it was the funniest joke in the world.
She stepped back from the ropes she was leaning on, her chest beginning to tighten; gasping for air that felt was suddenly cut off. Her brother caught her before she could fall to her knees in shock. That was how everyone had viewed her as? A slut? Someone who would screw any person, any day of the week?
She could sense Chris Jericho wanted her to say something in her defense, in which he would shoot her down again with another underlying joke. Thankfully, Paul Heyman had done the rest of the talking.
She could feel tears begin to well, though she forced them back, shaking the weakness she felt overcome her at just the few words Chris Jericho had stated. If that had been the end of the jokes, she probably would have been able to stand in the middle of the ring, proud that with her brother and Paul Heyman beside her, she would conquer the WWF.
Chris Jericho went overboard by trying to insult her every time he was able to find her by her self, which was most of the time. She had lost most friends she had gained through her life style.
She had tried to ignore him, willing herself to be strong enough to be invincible to his lies. But deep inside, where it counted, she knew, what he said was true, every sentence, every word, every syllable.
He had come up to her, flashing her a cruel smirk saying, "So how are you cheap-get-2-for-the-price-of-one?"
Her brother had told her not to show that Chris had gotten the best of her, though she couldn't keep up the bent up feelings inside of her enough, giving Chris a sharp slap across his face.
Chris looked surprised, that after all his insults, she had finally given a sign to say she knew he existed.
"What do you want from me Jericho?" She asked, tilting her chin up to show her face streaming steadily with tears. She had shed tears many times prior, although she had always hid them by hiding her face behind her hair.
His eyes widened, his shocking blue eyes staring at her as if it was the first time he had seen her.
Her own anger shot back, "If you want to call me a whore, then say it to my face. I'm sick of this, and I'm sick of you. You don't even know me, so how could you possibly judge me?"
Chris thought about what she had said, she was right, he didn't know her. Maybe it had been wrong for him to determine what she was if he had never directly spoken to her, only deciding her personality by what he had heard in the men's locker room and his friends. She was beautiful, no question in that. Her eyes, the tilt in her chin, everything about her had screamed confidence, it seemed hard to believe she was someone with feelings, not just someone who was trying to drive all the wrestlers out of their job.
His hesitancy confused her. "What are you waiting for? Call me a whore! Call me a bitch! That's what you wanted to do in the first place, coming over here like some big shot."
Jericho's egotistical smile disappeared. Puzzled of his sudden attraction to the person he had consistently made fun of with no avail. Seeing her up close had been enough, to see her talk to him with such harshness pained him, more than it should have.
"Jericho?" Uncertainty echoed in her voice, Chris was no longer responding to her, instead looking blankly past her as if deep in thought within himself.
'I know I'm going to regret this' He pulled her towards him, bringing his mouth down to hers.
She opened her mouth to scream, the only thing stopping her from doing so was his lips pressed against hers.
She should have felt repulsed, disgusted, that someone who had taken such great lengths to make sure her life was a living hell was kissing her, holding her, except…it didn't.
She returned his kiss with a passion matching his. They both drew back, breathing heavily at what they had just experienced from the most unlikely.
"I'm guessing this changes things between us?" She asked, a small smile beginning to tug at the corner of her lips.
"You can count on that, Junior." His infamous smirk returned, his eyes no longer mocking her of her being, but now thanking her for her existence.
When will you learn, when will you learn
Bouncing back, and doing it again
I just wonder, when will it end
They had kept their relationship a secret, if either side found out they were seeing each other as the Invasion went on, there would be no telling what would happen.
After a match Jericho had against Kurt Angle, who had recently deflected to the WCW, he made his way back to his locker room to discover her sitting on the couch, nonchalantly flipping through pages of a miscellaneous magazine.
Jericho hastily closed the door, fumbling to lock it. Turning to her, he hissed, "What are you doing here? You know Vince is going to fire me before I could even have the time to pack my stuff if anyone catches you in here!"
"I figured that people would knock before they came in, I mean it is your locker room. I could just hide in your bathroom if they did."
"You're being careless."
"Oh? And I thought you said you liked daring girls?" She said dryly.
Jericho laughed, gesturing for her to take his hand. "I like daring girls, until I met you. I'm in love with you, I never loved anyone half as much as I love you."
She dropped Jericho's hand, stunned at the revelation of the words he had uttered. He loved her? Jericho loved her? She had been sure he had at least liked her, or he wouldn't have stayed with her for so long, but love…
"You're serious?" She wanted to cherish the words, but needed to know that he meant it, the hope that had burned out long ago began to flicker once again.
"Why wouldn't I be? I though you already knew.."
Tears started to trail down sides of her cheeks, falling onto Jericho's arms.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry. I can take the words back if you want." Chris knelt down, so that he could see her expression.
She laughed nervously, "Back when I first knew you, you sure didn't seem to care about my feelings at all."
"I told you, I was an idiot back then," Chris scoffed, smiling.
She embraced him, taking in his familiar scent, the scent she had grown to love, along with him. "I never thought I'd say this to you or to anyone, but I love you too Chris."
When will you learn, when will you learn
Each time, one of them leaves
You just lose a little more self esteem
She approached Chris from behind, putting a hand over his eyes to cover them. "Guess who?"
She nearly jumped back when Chris pushed her away, going back into the earlier position he had been before she had come along, his head in his hands, his back facing the other way.
"What's wrong Chris?" Her light voice changed.
"They know about us." He said blandly.
"What?" She was taken aback.
"Vince fired me. He told me that I better be gone by the time Smackdown starts, or he would get security to take me out."
"Did you give in and tell him that we did have a relationship?"
"No. I denied it, what did you think I would do? I don't have anywhere else to go if I'm out of the WWF, wrestling is my life, and now because of this stupid fling with you.."
"It's not a fling," She retorted. "Don't worry, we'll get back at him, I'll hire you for WCW."
Chris shook his head in disagreement, "I can't do that. That'll be like admitting that I was fooling around with you for the whole time."
"Dammit Jericho, where are you?" Her father's voice said loudly from just around the corner.
"That's my calling. Bye princess, had a nice time." Jericho's eyes were dark with sadness.
He turned to go; though she stopped him.
"Can I call you?"
"I think it's better for both of us if you didn't." With that, he adjusted the strap on his sports bag before walking on.
When will you learn, when will you learn
When will you learn
Don't be careless and you won't get burned
She hadn't heard from him since then. Only from down the grapevine had she heard that he had recently married a woman named Jessica.
Now, her memory of him was distant, she no longer remembered the exact shade of his eyes, were they blue like the sky? Or more like the deep oceans?
Every time she thought of him, which were getting less often and far between, she could feel the twinge of pain, like an old scar that never quite would ever fade.
Her thoughts swam back to her current situation in the seedy hotel room. She lay on her back, looking up to the peeling paint ceiling.
"Don't be careless and you won't get burned? If only I had known…"
Stephanie McMahon closed her eyes, one hand clutching the left side of the bed, her own warmth comforting her to sleep.
When will you see
Love's not as easy as you want it to be
When will you learn, when will you learn
When will you learn, when will you learn
When will you learn, when will you learn
The End.
Credit for Song: "When Will You Learn" by Kathleen LaGue