Disclaimer: I own nothing. Harry, Hedwig, Severus (as much as I love him), and everyone else, all belong to JKR and whoever else is in the long list of Harry Potter owners. Tidmag owns the basic plot as he/she (which?) gave me the idea for this story. Also, this is another answer for Severitus' challenge. This story has no relation to my other story written partly in answer to Severitus' challenge because there is no Saerry (except for yours truly). I also do not own Heart or their lyrics.
Summary: Fifth year and Harry finds himself changing. But are they for better or for worse? And what secret lurks behind these changes? A secret only Remus Lupin seems to know.
These Dreams-Saerry Snape-
* Some Things You Can Never Choose *
~*~
Hey baby I'm talking to you
Stop yourself and listen
Some things you can never choose
Even if you try, yeah
You're bangin' your head again
Cause somebody won't let you in
One chance . . . one love
Your chance to let me know
~*~
Tap tap.
"Come in."
Snape didn't bother looking up from a test he was grading to see who it was.
"Severus."
Snape looked up now.
Standing in his door was Remus Lupin.
"Remus?"
"Yes."
"You look – tired."
"Transformation two days ago."
Snape grimaced then asked, "What are you here for?"
"I have something to tell you, Severus. Something about Lily."
The muscles in Snape's check jumped.
"S-something about L-Lily?"
"Yes."
Snape ran a hand back through his hair and growled, "Well, on with it."
Lupin shivered and whimpered, "Oh, I'm not sure if I should do this now. But you have a right to know."
"Know what, Remus?"
"Lily was pregnant."
"I know that."
"It wasn't James'."
Snape blinked.
"Say that again."
"It wasn't James'. Lily's baby wasn't James'."
Snape's eyes had grown wide by now as he hissed, "Are you implying that I am."
"You were her husband, Severus. We all know that she only lived with James to keep Voldemort from killing the both of you."
Snape looked down at the crystalline snake on his desk.
"Yet she was killed anyway."
"I know."
There was silence between them for a moment before Lupin said, "You have to tell him."
Snape scoffed. "Yes, Lupin, I have to tell the bloody Boy Who Lived that that bastard James Potter who everyone adored isn't hit father and that I, an ex-Death Eater, am."
"He has to know, Severus."
"He does. Whether he believes it or not is another matter."
Lupin blinked.
"What?"
"Tessarii Potion. I called Potter up to test it."
"Oh God . . . Did it – did it say anything?"
"Yes."
"What?"
"That I was his father."
"Merlin's beard, Severus. You have to tell him. Everything."
"Everything?"
"Everything."
Snape closed his eyes and buried his head in his hands. After a moment he said, "I can't. Remus, I can't. I can't tell him what we went through during those years. And I most certainly can't tell him about – about – that day."
Lupin looked at Snape with a pitying look on his face. He said, "You don't have to, Severus."
"And if he wants to know?"
"Tell him."
"Damnit, Remus. I can't!"
"You have a Pensieve right?"
"Yes, ever since she died."
"Show him in that."
"God, Remus. How do I do this? The Boy Who Lived is mine. My son. Oh God."
"You'll get through this, Severus."
There was silence again then Snape asked, "Have you told, Albus."
Lupin shook his head. "I was going to tell him first but I felt like I – owed it – to her to tell you first."
"Thank you."
Lupin nodded then turned and left the room.
Snape looked after him for a moment then buried his head in his hands.
"Oh God."
************************
Harry stared at the fire in the Gryffindor common room, the sheet of paper that listed his father's, his real father's, name on it clutched tightly in his hand. After a moment he looked down at it for the hundredth time and read those names again.
Suddenly the portrait hole opened and in stepped Snape – no, his father.
Several of the Gryffindors stared as Snape said, "Potter, follow me."
Harry sighed and rose, following his father out of the room. As soon as they were out of the common room he said, "Yes, sir?"
"The Headmaster wants to run a test on you."
"For what?"
Snape frowned then said, "The identity of your real father."
Harry snapped, "James Potter is my real father."
"I was married to your mother for a whole year. We continued to see each other afterwards without James' knowledge. You could easily be mine."
"So you went behind his back?"
Snape's eyes darkened and he snarled, "No. Lily – your mother only married that bastard because she had to. Voldemort would have killed her otherwise and then you wouldn't be here now arguing with me."
Harry's lips drew back in a sneer. "You're not my father."
"We shall see."
With that Snape turned on a heel and walked off towards the Headmaster's office. Harry followed him slowly, watching the dark Potions Master with narrowed eyes.
************************
"Tamerain Pie."
The gargoyle moved aside and Snape and Harry climbed up the moving staircase. When they reached the top Snape knocked and Dumbledore's voice called, "Come in Severus, Harry."
Snape entered and Harry came in after him. The first thing Harry noticed was the other person in the room.
"Professor Lupin?"
Lupin looked up, his face gray, and smiled slightly. "Hello, Harry."
"Wh-what are you doing here?"
"To tell the truth."
"Pardon?"
"The truth, Harry. Your mother told me who your father was when she found out she was pregnant."
Harry blinked. He gasped, "It's not – oh, please, tell me its not."
"I'm sorry, Harry."
Dumbledore softly said, "Harry?"
"Yes, professor?"
"Though Remus may know who Lily said your father was, there is the possibility that she was wrong. There is a test we can administer than can show up an image of your real parents."
Harry was silent for a moment then he said, "Do it."
"You understand . . ."
"Just do it, professor! Please. I have to know."
Dumbledore sighed and said, "As you wish, Harry." He drew his wand and pointed it at Harry.
"Parentela."
A beam of dark purple light shot out of Dumbledore's wand and hit Harry in the chest. Harry felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest. But he clenched his teeth and beared it.
A few moments later a shadowy image of his mother appeared to his left, becoming more solid until it almost looked like you could touch her. Her head barely reached his shoulder as she turned and smiled up at him. Harry's throat closed up and he heard someone sob, but couldn't tell who.
Seconds later another shadowy form began to materialize on his right. It was four inches taller than him and was simply a mass of shadows at the moment.
It then cleared.
Severus Snape was standing to his right.
Harry gasped and fell back against the wall.
Dumbledore removed the spell, causing the shadowy forms of Snape and Lily to vanish, and looked worriedly at him.
"Harry?"
Harry didn't meet his eyes. Instead he looked at Lupin, who turned away from him, then at Snape – his father.
What he saw surprised him.
The man was crying. Or at least it appeared he was. There was no sound coming from him. The only sign he was crying were the tears flowing down his sallow cheeks.
Harry couldn't stand it then.
He turned and fled from the office, running as fast as he could.
The last thing he heard as he charged down the moving stairs was his father's voice yelling, "HARRY!"
~*~
Hey baby you know it's true
Why you bother lying when you know
That you want it too
Don't you dare deny me
Walk those legs right over here
Give me what I'm dying for
Once chance . . . one love
Hold me down never let me go
~*~
A/N: Tamerain – pronounced Tam-er-aye'n not Tame-rain. And Parentela means Kin.