Disclaimer: I own nothing. Harry, Hedwig, Severus (as much as I love him), and everyone else, all belong to JKR and whoever else is in the long list of Harry Potter owners. Tidmag owns the basic plot as he/she (?) gave me the idea for this story. Also, this is another answer for Severitus' challenge. This story has no relation to my other story written partly in answer to Severitus' challenge because there is no Saerry (except for yours truly). I also do not own The Calling or their lyrics.
Summary: Fifth year and Harry finds himself changing. But are they for better or for worse? And what secret lurks behind these changes? A secret only Remus Lupin seems to know.
Warning: Suicide implied in this chapter
These Dreams-Saerry Snape-
* And I Know Life Ain't Easy *
~*~
Well I would like to think
The world hasn't seen
That all the best is still to come,
and I know life ain't easy
~*~
Hermione's POV
Oh, for God's sake, why can't Ron get his broomstick out of his ass? He's been acting like – like – dammit, he's been acting like Malfoy! God, I feel like punching him – just try to knock some sense into his foolish head. How could he? How could he treat Harry this way just because his father is Professor Snape? God, he's a fool. He's breaking his friendship up just because his best friends father is the most hated professor in the school!
Oh, and speaking of the idiot ass, there he is, coming right into the common room and sprawling on the couch. Now he's glaring at the fire. He doesn't even notice I'm here. Ha, serve him right to get surprised. The jerk.
I wonder where Harry is. Maybe I should go find him. It'd be better than sticking around here and watching Ron glare at the fireplace. Perhaps I should tell Fred and George to play a few pranks on Ron. Maybe.
I am going to go find Harry now.
I closed my diary and went silently upstairs to put it away in my trunk. Ron never even noticed I had moved. He never even said anything till I came back downstairs and was walking towards the door.
"Where are you going?"
I turned around and replied, "Out."
"To find Harry?"
"What does it matter to you, Ron?"
Ron growled, "It doesn't."
I frowned, my temper rising. It rarely does that.
"Ron, you ignorant bastard. Haven't you even thought about what Harry's feeling right now?"
"Very smug, most likely."
SMACK.
My hand made a satisfying clap as it hit Ron's cheek and he stared at him as my hand stood out in livid red on his cheek.
I snarled, "You know, Ron, its not nice to judge people. Especially not Harry! He won't even talk to Professor Snape, so I don't think he's too happen about the news."
"How do you know that?"
"I just happened to be standing outside the Great Hall with Professor Snape tried to talk to Harry. He basically told him to shove off."
"What?"
"You heard me. So you go and apologize to your friend or I swear to God I will make your life a living Hell."
Ron stared at me and I took that moment to turn on my heel and leave. Ha ha, bet he hadn't expected that. Hermione Granger, losing her temper. Ah, now that's a sight.
I laughed to myself then stopped as soon as I found I was outside an empty classroom. Inside I could hear muffled sobs. Moving closer to the door, I listened for a moment then gently pushed it open. Peeking around, I saw something that made my eyes widen in horror.
Harry sat curled into a ball in a corner of the room, sobs wracking his form. His long hair nearly completely hid his face but I could see flashes of red across it.
Oh God.
He's tried to kill himself.
I moved into the room and walked over to him. He never even looked up and I knelt down beside him and gently pushed his hair back from his tear-streaked and bloody face.
Oh, Harry. Why? Why would you want to do this?
I spotted more blood clotted on his wrist and had to cover my mouth in horror.
Oh God.
"Harry? Harry, c'mon, we've got to get you up to the Hospital Wing."
"No."
I blinked.
"Harry, c'mon, you can't stay here."
Harry shook his head, causing his hair to fall back over his face, and muttered, "Can."
"Harry . . ."
"NO!"
He suddenly threw himself away from the wall and began beating the floor savagely with his fists, yelling "No!" over and over. I moved over to him without even thinking, not even concerned with my own safety, only his.
"Harry! Harry!"
Eventually, his cries died away and his fist fell to the floor with a dull thump as more sobs wracked his form. I pulled him towards me and he didn't try to back away, only wrapped his arms tightly around me and sobbed into my shoulder. I ran my hands up and down his back and through his hair, whispering to him that it would be all right.
Oh, Harry. Why do things like this always happen to you?
I don't know how long we sat like that but his sobs finally stopped. As I ran my hand over his back he whispered, "He's my father. He's really my father."
I nodded slightly even though he couldn't see it and said, "He loves you, Harry."
"No he doesn't."
"He does. I can tell. He even came and asked me how you were."
Harry looked up at me and said, "Really?"
I nodded again.
Harry looked back down, resting his head against my shoulder.
"I can't believe it."
"The truth isn't always believable, but it's the truth."
"Nice quote, Mione."
"I read it somewhere."
"Its nice." Harry curled closer to me and I said nothing. It was actually quite pleasant.
After a moment he mumbled, "Sorry about your robes, Mione."
I smiled and ran a hand through his hair.
"Its okay, Harry. Just promise me something."
"Anything."
"Don't try to kill yourself again. I'm not sure what I'd do if you succeeded. And Ron would hate himself."
"I know. I won't do it again."
"And give Professor Snape a chance. He really does care about you."
Harry nodded slightly and said, "I know."
"Good."
"Thanks, Mione."
I hugged Harry close and leaned my cheek against his soft hair.
"Anytime, Harry. Anytime."
~*~
I pass them sleeping on the streets
Their bloodstained hands and dirty feet
And I can't ignore them
Any more that I already have
~*~