Angels Having Lost Their Wings
Segment Two
RECOMMENDED LISTENING: "My December" by Linkin Park (quoted)
Sitting there, looking at him, Liz felt something inside of her break. If one wanted to consider her as the sum of her influences, she was 96% of Jack Bauer, but there was that 4% that belonged to Mason. That part of her that was strangely conservative, collected, and cool. That part of her which was now falling apart.
He took a deep breath, and she let him take a moment for his own, reflecting on how much it must say that he had gone to her and asked her for this sanctuary rather than anyone else, rather than being on his own. For some strange reason, she kept hearing a song that she had herself mourned to more than once, especially on the anniversaries of the deaths of her parents.
*This is my December
This is all so clear*
She'd had that feeling before, hadn't she? When it had hit her point-blank in the face. That feeling had a name: Jamey Farrell. She'd never breathe another day in CTU Technology Section without feeling stabbed by that failure.
"You're not alone in suffering, George," she heard herself saying. "I've been there today myself. I fell farther than I thought I could."
*This is my December
This is me alone*
He looked at her, and when he said Jamey's name, she just nodded.
She'd thought she was alone then, too. In fact, it was a statement she'd accused Mason of once. She was Jamey's boss, wasn't she then responsible for what Jamey did, for the breach in security, for Jamey's death even?
"But you didn't see that coming," Mason said, breaking into her thoughts. "I saw this coming every step of the way."
"So did I," she said, "in very painful hindsight."
*And I just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed*
Liz rested her chin on her knuckles, thinking back to the moment she'd found out, how Nina and Tony – two people that were not her best friends but nonetheless allies – had broken the news knowing what it would do to her. Which it had promptly done.
"I see the signs after the fact," she continued, "but by then it's already too late. All you can do," she said, looking at him, "is realize your mistakes, and attempt to rectify them. If they're even your mistakes."
"Of course it was my mistake."
"No, it was Chappelle's mistake, which you unwillingly executed." Liz exhaled. "The only thing we can do now is to try and be there for Jack and the others as much as we can, try to save them if we can. That's our rectification. But we have to start somewhere, don't we?"
He didn't answer her.
*And I take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that*
She had a guess as to what he was thinking of. What he had done to Nina (especially Nina), to Tony, to Teri, to everyone else. How could he possibly expect them to stand with him as one in an action against convention? That was what would be needed and he was thinking that he only had one ally.
She had to prove him wrong.
"Justice supercedes interest," she said quietly, repeating something she'd been taught somewhere. "We'll be right with you, George, and we will succeed."
"Do you believe that yourself?"
*This is me pretending
This is all I need*
"I have to believe it, George. I don't have a choice." Liz looked at him head-on now, analyzing the words, tones and gestures that had passed between them. "I will do whatever is necessary for the right thing to happen at the end of the day."
"Do we even know what the right thing is?" he said. He was really questioning her. And in turn, questioning both of their beliefs.
She paused. "I think we know inside ourselves. Which is why you're asking me to be here instead of turning tail and walking away when you damn well could."
*And I give it all away
To have someone to come home to*
It hit her then, why he wanted her there, and it had nothing to do with strategics or statistics. He needed someone to be there in his life as a person, a confidante, and an ally.
Mason was, if he stayed on, risking everything he'd accrued in his position with District, exposing his past sins as ammunition for Chappelle and anyone else. He was sacrificing himself, in a sense.
And he didn't want to die alone.
She looked at him. "You're not alone, George," she said. "That's why you asked me here, isn't it? Well, you're not alone. We're in this fight together. I need you fighting with me, I do."
Silence in the room.
*This is my December
This is my time of the year*
He crossed to the wall, looked down on CTU, and she went with him. In her mind, numbers turned. Numbers always had turned but no more so than now. They were both realizing that they were fast approaching zero and they had little time to make a difference.
But in an essence, as Herman Boone had said, it was their time. They had a window of time and they had people who were smart and experienced. They had the facilities and the tenacity. It would be tough and painful, it would be agony, but if they cared, they would take the torture.
What better time to defy everything? They could not wait. They had to go while they had the chance, before Chappelle or someone else shut them down. If they looked away now, their chances were gone.
"George," she began.
"I know," he said quietly. "We need to go now if we're going to go at all."
*This is my December*
"Are we going to go?" she asked him.
He looked at her and the mist had cleared, replaced by an almost bitter, almost righteous clarity. "Of course we're going to go, Elisabeth. What did you expect?"
She allowed herself to barely smile. "I don't know, sir."
He'd signed his own death warrant, and probably more than that. But he was making a point. This time was their time, not Chappelle's or District's or anyone else's. It was their time and their ship, and it was going to be run as such.
In the face of anything and the fear of God, it was theirs.
*This is all so clear*
"Get downstairs and work with Nina and Tony on a profile," he was telling her now, his voice reassuming its natural command. "We'll discuss in a few minutes."
"Right." She started walking to the door, aware he was watching her, and stopped in the doorway like had become a nervous habit of hers. "George?"
"What?"
"I think you got your halo back."
He actually smiled at her, and it took a heavy load off her heart that had been crushing all of her. "Maybe so," he said. "Despite the rust and the rain, I guess I've always been able to fly."
"I know you have," she said, and walked out, leaving it at that.
And Liz realized as she walked downstairs that she hadn't done anything to heal Mason. He'd taken care of himself.
-End-
Segment Two
RECOMMENDED LISTENING: "My December" by Linkin Park (quoted)
Sitting there, looking at him, Liz felt something inside of her break. If one wanted to consider her as the sum of her influences, she was 96% of Jack Bauer, but there was that 4% that belonged to Mason. That part of her that was strangely conservative, collected, and cool. That part of her which was now falling apart.
He took a deep breath, and she let him take a moment for his own, reflecting on how much it must say that he had gone to her and asked her for this sanctuary rather than anyone else, rather than being on his own. For some strange reason, she kept hearing a song that she had herself mourned to more than once, especially on the anniversaries of the deaths of her parents.
*This is my December
This is all so clear*
She'd had that feeling before, hadn't she? When it had hit her point-blank in the face. That feeling had a name: Jamey Farrell. She'd never breathe another day in CTU Technology Section without feeling stabbed by that failure.
"You're not alone in suffering, George," she heard herself saying. "I've been there today myself. I fell farther than I thought I could."
*This is my December
This is me alone*
He looked at her, and when he said Jamey's name, she just nodded.
She'd thought she was alone then, too. In fact, it was a statement she'd accused Mason of once. She was Jamey's boss, wasn't she then responsible for what Jamey did, for the breach in security, for Jamey's death even?
"But you didn't see that coming," Mason said, breaking into her thoughts. "I saw this coming every step of the way."
"So did I," she said, "in very painful hindsight."
*And I just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed*
Liz rested her chin on her knuckles, thinking back to the moment she'd found out, how Nina and Tony – two people that were not her best friends but nonetheless allies – had broken the news knowing what it would do to her. Which it had promptly done.
"I see the signs after the fact," she continued, "but by then it's already too late. All you can do," she said, looking at him, "is realize your mistakes, and attempt to rectify them. If they're even your mistakes."
"Of course it was my mistake."
"No, it was Chappelle's mistake, which you unwillingly executed." Liz exhaled. "The only thing we can do now is to try and be there for Jack and the others as much as we can, try to save them if we can. That's our rectification. But we have to start somewhere, don't we?"
He didn't answer her.
*And I take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that*
She had a guess as to what he was thinking of. What he had done to Nina (especially Nina), to Tony, to Teri, to everyone else. How could he possibly expect them to stand with him as one in an action against convention? That was what would be needed and he was thinking that he only had one ally.
She had to prove him wrong.
"Justice supercedes interest," she said quietly, repeating something she'd been taught somewhere. "We'll be right with you, George, and we will succeed."
"Do you believe that yourself?"
*This is me pretending
This is all I need*
"I have to believe it, George. I don't have a choice." Liz looked at him head-on now, analyzing the words, tones and gestures that had passed between them. "I will do whatever is necessary for the right thing to happen at the end of the day."
"Do we even know what the right thing is?" he said. He was really questioning her. And in turn, questioning both of their beliefs.
She paused. "I think we know inside ourselves. Which is why you're asking me to be here instead of turning tail and walking away when you damn well could."
*And I give it all away
To have someone to come home to*
It hit her then, why he wanted her there, and it had nothing to do with strategics or statistics. He needed someone to be there in his life as a person, a confidante, and an ally.
Mason was, if he stayed on, risking everything he'd accrued in his position with District, exposing his past sins as ammunition for Chappelle and anyone else. He was sacrificing himself, in a sense.
And he didn't want to die alone.
She looked at him. "You're not alone, George," she said. "That's why you asked me here, isn't it? Well, you're not alone. We're in this fight together. I need you fighting with me, I do."
Silence in the room.
*This is my December
This is my time of the year*
He crossed to the wall, looked down on CTU, and she went with him. In her mind, numbers turned. Numbers always had turned but no more so than now. They were both realizing that they were fast approaching zero and they had little time to make a difference.
But in an essence, as Herman Boone had said, it was their time. They had a window of time and they had people who were smart and experienced. They had the facilities and the tenacity. It would be tough and painful, it would be agony, but if they cared, they would take the torture.
What better time to defy everything? They could not wait. They had to go while they had the chance, before Chappelle or someone else shut them down. If they looked away now, their chances were gone.
"George," she began.
"I know," he said quietly. "We need to go now if we're going to go at all."
*This is my December*
"Are we going to go?" she asked him.
He looked at her and the mist had cleared, replaced by an almost bitter, almost righteous clarity. "Of course we're going to go, Elisabeth. What did you expect?"
She allowed herself to barely smile. "I don't know, sir."
He'd signed his own death warrant, and probably more than that. But he was making a point. This time was their time, not Chappelle's or District's or anyone else's. It was their time and their ship, and it was going to be run as such.
In the face of anything and the fear of God, it was theirs.
*This is all so clear*
"Get downstairs and work with Nina and Tony on a profile," he was telling her now, his voice reassuming its natural command. "We'll discuss in a few minutes."
"Right." She started walking to the door, aware he was watching her, and stopped in the doorway like had become a nervous habit of hers. "George?"
"What?"
"I think you got your halo back."
He actually smiled at her, and it took a heavy load off her heart that had been crushing all of her. "Maybe so," he said. "Despite the rust and the rain, I guess I've always been able to fly."
"I know you have," she said, and walked out, leaving it at that.
And Liz realized as she walked downstairs that she hadn't done anything to heal Mason. He'd taken care of himself.
-End-