Xander slowly opened his eyes.  He blinked a few times to get the blurriness in his eyes to go away.  The sun was slowly rising.  He sat up and looked around.  He had sand all over his clothes and his hair was wet.  His clothes were fairly wet as well.  He was also cold.

Xander:  Sand?  What?  Where am I?

He got to his feet and started to walk inland.  He suddenly tripped over something and let out a slight yell.

Cordelia: Gosh, Xander.  Watch where you're going.  I'm trying to work on my tan.

Xander:  The sun isn't even up yet, Cordy.

Cordelia:  I know, but I wanted to be ready.

Xander shook his head and rolled his eyes.

Xander:  Cordy, where are we?

Cordelia: On an island.  Duh, dork!

Xander:  Thank you, Captain Obvious.  What island?  Why are we here?  How did we get here?

Cordelia:  I don't know.  I don't know.  And shipwreck.

Xander:  Shipwreck?

Cordelia:  Ugh, yes.  Did I stutter the first time I said it?

Xander:  When were we on a boat?

Cordelia:  Well…uh…um…I don't know.  I just figured it out by the piece of wood floating by that says S.S. Minnow on it.

Xander:  Is anyone else here?

Cordelia:  I guess so.  I think they're doing research though.

Xander:  Let's go find them.

Cordelia:  Xander…my tan!

Xander:  Fine.  You stay here.  If we find a way off this island, we just won't tell you.

Cordelia got up quickly.

Cordelia:  Ok, I'm coming.  I wish this place had a mall at least.

Xander and Cordelia walked further inland.  Shortly after, they found everyone else.

Xander:  Giles!  Giles!  Merciful Zeus, we found you guys!

Giles:  Yes.  Indeed you have, Xander.

Xander:  Didn't you guys try to find me?

Willow:  Well, uh, we just kinda ended up here at this table in the middle of nowhere.

Buffy:  This sucks.  There isn't anything to do here.  No baddies to fight.

Spike:  Hey, baby.  I'm bad.  You're bored.  Let's go.

Angel:  Yeah, Spike.  You're really bad with Willow's purple Garfield umbrella above your head to protect you from the sun.

Spike:  Shut up, Peaches.  You're one to talk with your nancy-boy "The Little Mermaid" umbrella.

Drusilla:  Let's have a tea party.  The trees are singing a pretty tune and we'll have to Free Willy soon or else the moon will cry.

Spike:  Er, right, Dru.  You just keep that in mind for some other time.

Xander:  Ok, back to the problem at hand.  How did we get here?

Giles:  Well, I've searched through all my books.  I've found an answer.

Buffy:  Well, what is it?  The twilight zone?

Anya:  Oh, no.  This is just a simple island.  We don't even have money here.

Giles:  Ah, a-apparently we've been used again.

Angel:  Used?  For what?

Giles:  It-it seems the authors have decided to do a sequel to the previous story in which we were put on a crazy adventure made up by two college girls with nothing better to do.  This time we have been placed on an uncharted desert isle instead of a stage!

Xander:  Oh!  Like Gilligan's Island!

Everyone turned their heads towards Xander.

Xander:  What?  I used to watch it when I was a kid.

Angel:  So, what do we do now?

Kelley:  Guys, just acknowledge the fact that Joss owns you.

Shelley:  Yeah.  Please.  I don't want to get in trouble this time.

Spike:  Who in the bloody hell are you birds?

Kelley:  We're the authors.

Shelley:  We're having our way with you.

Buffy:  Hey!  No one has their way with me…ever.

Spike:  You weren't like that the other night, luv.

Buffy:  Spike, you're a pig.

Xander:  Be quiet, Buff!  So, you have your way with us?

Shelley:  (smiles) Of course.  I've got dibs on you.

Xander:  Oh.  Oooo.  And who do you have dibs on, uh…?

Kelley:  Kelley.  And she's Shelley.

Xander:  Kelley, who do you have dibs on?

Kelley:  Hehehe.  Spike, of course.

Spike:  (glares at Buffy) At least SOMEBODY appreciates me.

Buffy:  Yeah, sure, Spike.  She probably just needs you to lift heavy furniture.

Kelley:  Actually, no.  I think he's hot.  For starters, I want him to take his shirt off.

Spike smiles.

Shelley:  What do you think of our Gilligan's Island theme?

Xander:  I'm Gilligan!

Anya:  I want to be Mrs. Howell.  She's the rich one.

Cordelia:  I'll be Ginger.  She always got to act like an airhead and never had to do anything productive.

Xander:  The story of your life.

Cordelia smacks Xander.

Xander:  Ow!  Geez!  It was a joke!

Buffy:  Well, I'm Mary Anne.

Xander and Spike both get a dreamy-eyed look.

Xander:  Those shorts.

Spike:  That top.

Angel:  The hair.

Spike and Xander:  What?!

Angel:  Never mind.  (he waves his hand in dismissal)

Spike:  I want to be one of those cannibal blokes from that one episode.

Cordelia:  You watched Gilligan's Island?

Drusilla:  My little Spike kept waiting for them to starve to death.  Can I be the coconut radio?

Everyone stops what they are doing.  They stare at Drusilla.  Crickets chirp.  A tumbleweed blows past.  The spell is broken.

Buffy:  Ok, where did the tumbleweed come from?

Kelley:  Sorry.

Shelley:  Watched too many Westerns.

Xander:  (looks at Drusilla)  You know, that's oddly fitting what with your being a seer and all.

Drusilla:  Thank you.

Everyone stops again and looks at Cordelia.

Cordelia:  What?  (pause) I'm not going to be a coconut radio too!  I'm Ginger!

Xander:  Well, G-man's the smartest.  He should be the Professor.

Willow and Anya:  No!

Willow:  I don't want to be Mr. Howell!

Xander:  Why don't you be the Skipper?

Willow:  Angel's the Skipper.

Angel:  Why am I the Skipper?

Willow:  Cuz you're the oldest.

Spike:  And the biggest.

Angel:  Spike!  Are you saying I'm a fat, grumpy old man?

Xander:  Well, you go the grumpy old man part down.

Angel:  But I'm not fat!  Am I fat?

Cordelia:  (sighs) No, Angel.  You're not fat.

Angel:  But they said…

Cordelia:  Angel, they're idiots.  Ignore them!

Kelley and Shelley:  HEY!  Guys, shut up!  We have a story to tell.

Everyone:  (rolls their eyes in unison) Fine.  What do we have to say this time?

Kelley:  Oh, nothing.  Just enjoy yourselves.

Shelley:  Joss owns all.  (looks at Kelley)  Can I go play now?

Kelley:  (pats Shelley on the head) Sure.  Go on.

Shelley:  (grabs Xander's hand) Let's go!

Kelley:  (goes to Spike)  Hey, Spike, I found this cave…

Spike:  (grins) Lead on…

Spike and Kelley walk off to the mysterious cave she found.  Everyone stares in silence as they walk off.  After a moment they all look from one to the other, confused.

Angel:  So, I'm not fat?

Cordelia:  ANGEL!!!!!!

Buffy:  What just happened?

Giles:  Well, the authors have obviously decided to have some extra fun with Spike and Xander.

Buffy:  Yeah, I got that much.  Why would Kelley want to take Spike though?

Anya:  Because he's hot stuff, Buffy.

Buffy:  (glares) Yeah, whatever.  (she slumps down into a chair) Like I care anyways.