----------------------------------------------------------------------------
CHAPTER 5
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Qui-Gon, Padmé, Jarari & R2-D2 have gone back to the ship with a big hyperdrive generator. Obi-Wan greets them.
QUI-GON: Get this hyperdrive generator installed, I'm going back to town, for some unfinished business.
OBI-WAN: Why do I sense we've picked up ANOTHER pathetic lifeform?
QUI-GON: It's the boy who's responsible for getting us these parts. Get this hyperdrive generator installed, I'm going back to town, for some unfinished business.
Obi-Wan shakes his head as his master heads back towards Mos Espa.
Qui-Gon bursts into Shananakin's house.
QUI-GON: Shananakin, I've won you in a big bet with Swatto! You're free!
SHANANAKIN: WOWEE! YOWZA! Hey, what about Mom?
QUI-GON: What about Mom?
SHANANAKIN: Is she free too?
QUI_GON: I tried to win your mother in the small toss, but Swatto just wouldn't have it.
Shananakin hugs his mom, crying.
SHANANAKIN'S MOM: Son, my future is here, you have to learn to let go. Let go. Shananakin, let go!
SHANANAKIN: Gee, sorry Mom.
SHANANAKIN'S MOM: Now go get packed.
He gets packed.
SHANANAKIN: Well PPO, I'll see you later.
C-PPO: Where are you going? What about my coverings?
SHANANAKIN: Sorry PPO, but I can't pass this up, it's a chance of a lifetime. I've been freed and I'm goin' away on a starship. I'll live my life as a Jedi for a few years, turn on my masters, betray my friends, become a Sith. I'll probably build a Death Star that'll destroy planets. I'll single-handedly bring endless destruction and pain upon the entire galaxy!
C-PPO: Oh dear, I suppose I'm going to be naked for a very long time.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shananakin is saying goodbye to his mom.
SHANANAKIN: Will I ever see you again?
SHANANAKIN'S MOM: Listen to your heart, whet does your heart tell you?
SHANANAKIN: Boom-boom. Boom-boom. Boom-boom.
SHANANAKIN'S MOM: Of course we'll see each other again, now be brave, and don't look back.
Shananakin leaves.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A probe droid comes up the Darth Maul.
PROBE DROID: Whew! I am not getting paid enough! Anyway the Jedi is on his way to his ship.
DARTH MAUL: Good, enter the coordinates onto my Hover Harley.
Darth Maul jumps on his Hover Harley and takes off.
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Qui-Gon and Shananakin are running to the Queen's ship.
SHANANAKIN: Qui-Gon sir, wait, I'm tired.
Qui-Gon notices the hooded horned hoodlum on the Hover Harley behind him.
QUI-GON: Shananakin! Drop! Go! Tell them to take off!
Shananakin runs to the ship, Qui-Gon fights the phantom menace. Captain, Padmé and Shananakin run into the cockpit.
CAPTAIN: Qui-Gon's in trouble, we need to take off.
RICCOLA: I see him, huh, over there!
OBI-WAN: No you idiot, over there! Fly low.
They continue fighting outside, Darth Maul flips through the air. Qui-Gon jumps to the ship. Darth Maul comes back down just in time to see the ship take off.
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Shananakin and Obi-Wan run to see Qui-Gon.
QUI-GON: Oh, my achin' head.
SHANANAKIN: Are you all right?
QUI-GON: I think so, but that THING was well trained in the Jedi arts, probably after the Queen.
SHANANAKIN: Oh no! What're we going to do?
QUI-GON: We must be patient. Shananakin Moonwalker meet Obi-Wan Kenobi.
SHANANAKINL Wowee! Are you a Jedi too?
OBI-WAN: No, I'm the janitor. I use this lightsaber here to scrub toilets.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Viceroy is in a massaging chair with legs, battle droids and Sio Babble are with him.
VICEROY: Your Queen is lost, your people are suffering, and you will die a painful death.
SIO BABBLE: This invasion will gain you nothing! Nothing but a whole star system of planets and millions of slaves! We're a democracy for Pete's sake!
VICEROY: Democracy? HAH! Tuck him in bed!
Sio Babble is taken away. The head Roger comes up to the Viceroy.
ROGER: My troops will begin zearching the zwampz for theze rumoured underwater village people, they will not ztay hidden furlong.
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Padmé is watching the holo recording of Sio Babble.
SIO BABBLE: Death toll-catastrophic. Must bow to there wishes. You must contact me.
She notices Shananakin.
PADMÉ: You all right?
SHANANAKIN: It's cold.
PADMÉ: Maybe you shouldn't be sleeping in the refrigerator then.
SHANANAKIN: Oh, yeah. You seem sad.
PADMÉ: I - I mean - The Queen is worried. Our people are dying. I'm not sure what's going to happen.
SHANANAKIN: I made this for you, so you'd remember me. I carved it out of a rotten coconut. It will bring you good luck.
PADMÉ: It's uh… interesting. But I'll always remember and care for you.
SHANANAKIN: Me too, but I…
PADMÉ: Miss your mother.
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The Queen's ship is finally approaching Corusnot. Riccola and Shananakin are in the cockpit.
RICCOLA: Corusnot, the entire planet is one hulargeous city.
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The group lands on a platform with Supreme Chancellor Valorum and Senator Palpatine.
PALPATINE: It is a great gift to see you alive, but I'd rather have some chocolates. May I present, BA BA BA BAMM… Supreme Chancellor Valorum.
CHANCELLOR: What was my line again? Oh, yes. Welcome Your Highness. It's an honor to finally meet you in person.
QUEEN: Sure…
PALPATINE: Come now, we must hurry off to the Senate. Goodbye, Chancellor.
QUI-GON: And we must speak to the Jedi Council immediately, there's been a plot complication.
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PALPATINE: I tell you, I must be frank, there's little chance the Senate will act, the Republic is not what it once was. The Senate is full of greedy, squabbling delegates like myself. The Chancellor has little real power. The bureaucracies are in charge. Our only real option is to put a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Valorum.
QUEEN: He's been our strongest supporter!
PALPATINE: It's either that or SUBMIT A PLEA TO THE COURTS.
QUEEN: That could take years, our people are dying, Senator. We must do something quickly.
PALPATINE: If we don't use a vote of no confidence, I think we're going to have to select Federal-ation THING control for the time being.
QUEEN: Then it appears I have no choice.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Qui-Gon is in front of the members of the Jedi Council.
QUI-GON: …which leads me to believe that it was a Sith Lord.
KI-DADDY-MONEY: Impossible! The Sith have been extinct for a millenium!
MACE: Iiiiiiiiiiii do not believe the Sith could have returned with out us knowing.
YODA: Ah! Hard to see the Dark Side is. More to say have you?
QUI-GON: Uh, yes. I have located a virgance in the Force.
YODA: A virgance you say?
MACE: Located around aaa person?
QUI-GON: A boy, with the highest midichlorians I've ever seen. It's entirely possible he was conceived by them.
MACE: You're referring to the prophecy of the one who will bring balance to the Force? You believe it's this boy?
QUI-GON: Well… yes. I request he be tested.
MACE: Bring him before us then.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shananakin walks to the room where the Queen is. A handmaiden comes up.
HANDMAIDEN: I'm sorry, Shananakin. Padmé's not here right now.
QUEEN: Who is it?
HANDMAIDEN: Shananakin Moonwalker to see Padmé.
QUEEN: I sent Padmé out the window. But you can leave her a message at the sound of the beep. Beep.
SHANANAKIN: Hi Padmé, this is Shanananakin. I'm going to the Jedi Temple, I'll probably start my training and I'll never see you again, so goodbye.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Queen Armadillo is with Senator Palpatine in the Senate building.
CHANCELLOR: The chair recognizes the Senator of Naboo.
PALPATINE: Delegates of the Senate, a tragedy has occurred- one that has started right here with the taxation of trade routes and has engulfed our entire planet in the oppression of the Trade Federal-ation THING. To state our allegations, I present -BA BA- Queen Armadillo, ruler of Naboo.
QUEEN: Dishonorable representatives of the Republic, I come before you under the gravest of circumstances. Naboo System has been invaded by the droid armies of the Trade-
LODDY DODDY, TRADE FEDERAL-ATION THING OFFICIAL: This is nutrageous! I object! Dere is no proof! We recommend a commission be sent to Naboo to ascertain the truth.
MALASTERE OFFICIAL: The congress of Malastere agrees with the dishonorable representative of the Trade Federal-ation THING because we were bribed by them.
CHANCELLOR: All right! All right! Your Highness, will you differ your notions to allow a commission to be appointed to discuss the validity of your accusations?
QUEEN: What?
CHANCELLOR: Can we send some people to your planet to see for ourselves?
QUEEN: No! We must act now! I was not elected to watch my people suffer and die while you discuss this invasion in a committee! If this body is not capable of action, I suggest new leadership is needed. I call for a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Valorum.
The Senate is an uproar. Senator Palpatine is smiling.
PALPATINE: Now they will elect a new Chancellor, a stronger Chancellor, a better looking Chancellor...
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OBI-WAN: The boy will not pass the council's tests, Master, and you know it!
QUI-GON: Shananakin will become a Jedi, I promise you.
OBI-WAN: You don't have to. Do not defy the Council, Master. Not… again!
QUI-GON: You still have much to learn, my young apprentice.
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Shananakin stands before the Council, he is guessing images on a screen.
SHANANAKIN: A ship, a cup, a speeder…
YODA: Hmmm, how feel you?
SHANANAKIN: Well, it is a bit nippy in here, could we turn on the heat?
YODA: Not cold is that. Fear! Afraid are you?
SHANANAKIN: No.
YODA: You lie! See through you I can!
MACE: Be mindful of your feelings.
KI-DADDY-$: Your thoughts dwell on your mother.
SHANANAKIN: I miss her.
YODA: Afraid to lose her I think!
SHANANAKIN: What does that have to do with anything?
YODA: Everything! Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.
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Jarari and Queen Armadillo are standing by a window on Corusnot.
JARARI: Yousa dinken yousa people gonna die?
QUEEN: I guess I am now…
JARARI: Gungans get pasted too?
QUEEN: Probably…
CAPTAIN: Your Highness! Senator Palpatine has been nominated to succeed Valorum as Chancellor!
QUEEN: Who else?
CAPTAIN: Bail Antilles of Alderaan and Ailee Teem of Malastere.
PALPATINE: I feel confident those losers will stand no chance of winning. Your Highness, If I am elected I promise to put an end to corruption. Hee Hee! That's my slogan, I wrote it myself!
QUEEN: Senator, this is your arena. I feel I must return to mine. I've decided to go back to Naboo.
PALPATINE: Go back? But Your Majesty, they'll Force you to sign the treaty!
QUEEN: I will sign no treaty, Senator. My fate will be no different then that of my people. Captain, ready my ship.
She leaves.
PALPATINE: Stop. Don't. Come back.
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KI-DADDY-$: …the Force is strong with him.
QUI-GON: He is to be trained then?
MACE: No, he will not be trained.
QUI-GON: No.
MACE: He is too old.
QUI-GON: I'll do it then. I take Shananakin as my Padawan Learner.
YODA: Forgotten have you? An apprentice you already have.
QUI-GON: Uh, you can have Obi-Wan back.
YODA: No return policy.
QUI-GON: Actually I think Obi-Wan is ready.
OBI-WAN: Really? You really think so?
MACE: Wait! Wait! Wait! Now is not the time for this! Queen Armadillo is returning home; I'm bald and the Senate is voting for a new Chancellor. Go with the Queen to Naboo, this petty political struggle is the perfect diversion for the Sith.
YODA: May the Force be with you.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Shananakin, Jarari and R2-D2 are on the landing platform.
OBI-WAN: It's not disrespect Master, it's the truth.
QUI-GON: From your point of view.
Obi-Wan walks up to Shananakin and puts his hands on his shoulders.
OBI-WAN: This boy here is dangerous, they all sense it why can't you?
QUI-GON: Matches are dangerous, the boy's fate is just… uncertain. Now get onboard.
SHANANAKIN: Was that Ogie-Jon guy talking about me? I don't want to be a problem.
QUI-GON: You're not a problem.
SHANANAKIN: Good, 'cause I got some questions for you.
QUI-GON: O.K.
SHANANAKIN: Where do babies come from?
QUI-GON: Er… How about another question.
SHANANAKIN: Okay, uh, what are midichlorians?
QUI-GON: Ah, midichlorians are a microscopic lifeform residing within all living cells. We are symbiants with them-life forms living together for mutual advantage-it's really amazing when you think about how the ce-
SHANANAKIN: ACTUALLY I though Midichlorian was a laundry detergent.
Shananakin holds up a laundry detergent that says Midichlorian on it.
QUI-GON: So it is. Oh, hello Your Highness. It is my pleasure to frequently protect and save your life.
QUEEN: I welcome your help, Senator Palpatine hopes the Federal-ation THING will destroy me.
QUI-GON: I assure you I will not allow that to happen.
JARARI: WEESA GOIN HOME!
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The Viceroy and Rude Hacko are talking to Darth Silliness' hologram.
VICEROY: We have taken over the last pockets of pa-rimitive lifeforms, we are in complete control of the planet nowww.
SILLINESS: Good, I will see to it that in the Senate things stay as they are, I can do that you know, because I am the new Supreme Chancellor! Oh yes, and I'm sending my apprentice, DARTH MAUL to join you.
RUDE HACKO: What?
VICEROY: Ye-yes Ma'lord.
RUDE HACKO: A Sith? Here!
VICEROY: Ooh! Ooh! Doyoo tink we can get his autograph?
CHAPTER 5
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Qui-Gon, Padmé, Jarari & R2-D2 have gone back to the ship with a big hyperdrive generator. Obi-Wan greets them.
QUI-GON: Get this hyperdrive generator installed, I'm going back to town, for some unfinished business.
OBI-WAN: Why do I sense we've picked up ANOTHER pathetic lifeform?
QUI-GON: It's the boy who's responsible for getting us these parts. Get this hyperdrive generator installed, I'm going back to town, for some unfinished business.
Obi-Wan shakes his head as his master heads back towards Mos Espa.
Qui-Gon bursts into Shananakin's house.
QUI-GON: Shananakin, I've won you in a big bet with Swatto! You're free!
SHANANAKIN: WOWEE! YOWZA! Hey, what about Mom?
QUI-GON: What about Mom?
SHANANAKIN: Is she free too?
QUI_GON: I tried to win your mother in the small toss, but Swatto just wouldn't have it.
Shananakin hugs his mom, crying.
SHANANAKIN'S MOM: Son, my future is here, you have to learn to let go. Let go. Shananakin, let go!
SHANANAKIN: Gee, sorry Mom.
SHANANAKIN'S MOM: Now go get packed.
He gets packed.
SHANANAKIN: Well PPO, I'll see you later.
C-PPO: Where are you going? What about my coverings?
SHANANAKIN: Sorry PPO, but I can't pass this up, it's a chance of a lifetime. I've been freed and I'm goin' away on a starship. I'll live my life as a Jedi for a few years, turn on my masters, betray my friends, become a Sith. I'll probably build a Death Star that'll destroy planets. I'll single-handedly bring endless destruction and pain upon the entire galaxy!
C-PPO: Oh dear, I suppose I'm going to be naked for a very long time.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shananakin is saying goodbye to his mom.
SHANANAKIN: Will I ever see you again?
SHANANAKIN'S MOM: Listen to your heart, whet does your heart tell you?
SHANANAKIN: Boom-boom. Boom-boom. Boom-boom.
SHANANAKIN'S MOM: Of course we'll see each other again, now be brave, and don't look back.
Shananakin leaves.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A probe droid comes up the Darth Maul.
PROBE DROID: Whew! I am not getting paid enough! Anyway the Jedi is on his way to his ship.
DARTH MAUL: Good, enter the coordinates onto my Hover Harley.
Darth Maul jumps on his Hover Harley and takes off.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Qui-Gon and Shananakin are running to the Queen's ship.
SHANANAKIN: Qui-Gon sir, wait, I'm tired.
Qui-Gon notices the hooded horned hoodlum on the Hover Harley behind him.
QUI-GON: Shananakin! Drop! Go! Tell them to take off!
Shananakin runs to the ship, Qui-Gon fights the phantom menace. Captain, Padmé and Shananakin run into the cockpit.
CAPTAIN: Qui-Gon's in trouble, we need to take off.
RICCOLA: I see him, huh, over there!
OBI-WAN: No you idiot, over there! Fly low.
They continue fighting outside, Darth Maul flips through the air. Qui-Gon jumps to the ship. Darth Maul comes back down just in time to see the ship take off.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shananakin and Obi-Wan run to see Qui-Gon.
QUI-GON: Oh, my achin' head.
SHANANAKIN: Are you all right?
QUI-GON: I think so, but that THING was well trained in the Jedi arts, probably after the Queen.
SHANANAKIN: Oh no! What're we going to do?
QUI-GON: We must be patient. Shananakin Moonwalker meet Obi-Wan Kenobi.
SHANANAKINL Wowee! Are you a Jedi too?
OBI-WAN: No, I'm the janitor. I use this lightsaber here to scrub toilets.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Viceroy is in a massaging chair with legs, battle droids and Sio Babble are with him.
VICEROY: Your Queen is lost, your people are suffering, and you will die a painful death.
SIO BABBLE: This invasion will gain you nothing! Nothing but a whole star system of planets and millions of slaves! We're a democracy for Pete's sake!
VICEROY: Democracy? HAH! Tuck him in bed!
Sio Babble is taken away. The head Roger comes up to the Viceroy.
ROGER: My troops will begin zearching the zwampz for theze rumoured underwater village people, they will not ztay hidden furlong.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Padmé is watching the holo recording of Sio Babble.
SIO BABBLE: Death toll-catastrophic. Must bow to there wishes. You must contact me.
She notices Shananakin.
PADMÉ: You all right?
SHANANAKIN: It's cold.
PADMÉ: Maybe you shouldn't be sleeping in the refrigerator then.
SHANANAKIN: Oh, yeah. You seem sad.
PADMÉ: I - I mean - The Queen is worried. Our people are dying. I'm not sure what's going to happen.
SHANANAKIN: I made this for you, so you'd remember me. I carved it out of a rotten coconut. It will bring you good luck.
PADMÉ: It's uh… interesting. But I'll always remember and care for you.
SHANANAKIN: Me too, but I…
PADMÉ: Miss your mother.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Queen's ship is finally approaching Corusnot. Riccola and Shananakin are in the cockpit.
RICCOLA: Corusnot, the entire planet is one hulargeous city.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The group lands on a platform with Supreme Chancellor Valorum and Senator Palpatine.
PALPATINE: It is a great gift to see you alive, but I'd rather have some chocolates. May I present, BA BA BA BAMM… Supreme Chancellor Valorum.
CHANCELLOR: What was my line again? Oh, yes. Welcome Your Highness. It's an honor to finally meet you in person.
QUEEN: Sure…
PALPATINE: Come now, we must hurry off to the Senate. Goodbye, Chancellor.
QUI-GON: And we must speak to the Jedi Council immediately, there's been a plot complication.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
PALPATINE: I tell you, I must be frank, there's little chance the Senate will act, the Republic is not what it once was. The Senate is full of greedy, squabbling delegates like myself. The Chancellor has little real power. The bureaucracies are in charge. Our only real option is to put a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Valorum.
QUEEN: He's been our strongest supporter!
PALPATINE: It's either that or SUBMIT A PLEA TO THE COURTS.
QUEEN: That could take years, our people are dying, Senator. We must do something quickly.
PALPATINE: If we don't use a vote of no confidence, I think we're going to have to select Federal-ation THING control for the time being.
QUEEN: Then it appears I have no choice.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Qui-Gon is in front of the members of the Jedi Council.
QUI-GON: …which leads me to believe that it was a Sith Lord.
KI-DADDY-MONEY: Impossible! The Sith have been extinct for a millenium!
MACE: Iiiiiiiiiiii do not believe the Sith could have returned with out us knowing.
YODA: Ah! Hard to see the Dark Side is. More to say have you?
QUI-GON: Uh, yes. I have located a virgance in the Force.
YODA: A virgance you say?
MACE: Located around aaa person?
QUI-GON: A boy, with the highest midichlorians I've ever seen. It's entirely possible he was conceived by them.
MACE: You're referring to the prophecy of the one who will bring balance to the Force? You believe it's this boy?
QUI-GON: Well… yes. I request he be tested.
MACE: Bring him before us then.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shananakin walks to the room where the Queen is. A handmaiden comes up.
HANDMAIDEN: I'm sorry, Shananakin. Padmé's not here right now.
QUEEN: Who is it?
HANDMAIDEN: Shananakin Moonwalker to see Padmé.
QUEEN: I sent Padmé out the window. But you can leave her a message at the sound of the beep. Beep.
SHANANAKIN: Hi Padmé, this is Shanananakin. I'm going to the Jedi Temple, I'll probably start my training and I'll never see you again, so goodbye.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Queen Armadillo is with Senator Palpatine in the Senate building.
CHANCELLOR: The chair recognizes the Senator of Naboo.
PALPATINE: Delegates of the Senate, a tragedy has occurred- one that has started right here with the taxation of trade routes and has engulfed our entire planet in the oppression of the Trade Federal-ation THING. To state our allegations, I present -BA BA- Queen Armadillo, ruler of Naboo.
QUEEN: Dishonorable representatives of the Republic, I come before you under the gravest of circumstances. Naboo System has been invaded by the droid armies of the Trade-
LODDY DODDY, TRADE FEDERAL-ATION THING OFFICIAL: This is nutrageous! I object! Dere is no proof! We recommend a commission be sent to Naboo to ascertain the truth.
MALASTERE OFFICIAL: The congress of Malastere agrees with the dishonorable representative of the Trade Federal-ation THING because we were bribed by them.
CHANCELLOR: All right! All right! Your Highness, will you differ your notions to allow a commission to be appointed to discuss the validity of your accusations?
QUEEN: What?
CHANCELLOR: Can we send some people to your planet to see for ourselves?
QUEEN: No! We must act now! I was not elected to watch my people suffer and die while you discuss this invasion in a committee! If this body is not capable of action, I suggest new leadership is needed. I call for a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Valorum.
The Senate is an uproar. Senator Palpatine is smiling.
PALPATINE: Now they will elect a new Chancellor, a stronger Chancellor, a better looking Chancellor...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
OBI-WAN: The boy will not pass the council's tests, Master, and you know it!
QUI-GON: Shananakin will become a Jedi, I promise you.
OBI-WAN: You don't have to. Do not defy the Council, Master. Not… again!
QUI-GON: You still have much to learn, my young apprentice.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shananakin stands before the Council, he is guessing images on a screen.
SHANANAKIN: A ship, a cup, a speeder…
YODA: Hmmm, how feel you?
SHANANAKIN: Well, it is a bit nippy in here, could we turn on the heat?
YODA: Not cold is that. Fear! Afraid are you?
SHANANAKIN: No.
YODA: You lie! See through you I can!
MACE: Be mindful of your feelings.
KI-DADDY-$: Your thoughts dwell on your mother.
SHANANAKIN: I miss her.
YODA: Afraid to lose her I think!
SHANANAKIN: What does that have to do with anything?
YODA: Everything! Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jarari and Queen Armadillo are standing by a window on Corusnot.
JARARI: Yousa dinken yousa people gonna die?
QUEEN: I guess I am now…
JARARI: Gungans get pasted too?
QUEEN: Probably…
CAPTAIN: Your Highness! Senator Palpatine has been nominated to succeed Valorum as Chancellor!
QUEEN: Who else?
CAPTAIN: Bail Antilles of Alderaan and Ailee Teem of Malastere.
PALPATINE: I feel confident those losers will stand no chance of winning. Your Highness, If I am elected I promise to put an end to corruption. Hee Hee! That's my slogan, I wrote it myself!
QUEEN: Senator, this is your arena. I feel I must return to mine. I've decided to go back to Naboo.
PALPATINE: Go back? But Your Majesty, they'll Force you to sign the treaty!
QUEEN: I will sign no treaty, Senator. My fate will be no different then that of my people. Captain, ready my ship.
She leaves.
PALPATINE: Stop. Don't. Come back.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
KI-DADDY-$: …the Force is strong with him.
QUI-GON: He is to be trained then?
MACE: No, he will not be trained.
QUI-GON: No.
MACE: He is too old.
QUI-GON: I'll do it then. I take Shananakin as my Padawan Learner.
YODA: Forgotten have you? An apprentice you already have.
QUI-GON: Uh, you can have Obi-Wan back.
YODA: No return policy.
QUI-GON: Actually I think Obi-Wan is ready.
OBI-WAN: Really? You really think so?
MACE: Wait! Wait! Wait! Now is not the time for this! Queen Armadillo is returning home; I'm bald and the Senate is voting for a new Chancellor. Go with the Queen to Naboo, this petty political struggle is the perfect diversion for the Sith.
YODA: May the Force be with you.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Shananakin, Jarari and R2-D2 are on the landing platform.
OBI-WAN: It's not disrespect Master, it's the truth.
QUI-GON: From your point of view.
Obi-Wan walks up to Shananakin and puts his hands on his shoulders.
OBI-WAN: This boy here is dangerous, they all sense it why can't you?
QUI-GON: Matches are dangerous, the boy's fate is just… uncertain. Now get onboard.
SHANANAKIN: Was that Ogie-Jon guy talking about me? I don't want to be a problem.
QUI-GON: You're not a problem.
SHANANAKIN: Good, 'cause I got some questions for you.
QUI-GON: O.K.
SHANANAKIN: Where do babies come from?
QUI-GON: Er… How about another question.
SHANANAKIN: Okay, uh, what are midichlorians?
QUI-GON: Ah, midichlorians are a microscopic lifeform residing within all living cells. We are symbiants with them-life forms living together for mutual advantage-it's really amazing when you think about how the ce-
SHANANAKIN: ACTUALLY I though Midichlorian was a laundry detergent.
Shananakin holds up a laundry detergent that says Midichlorian on it.
QUI-GON: So it is. Oh, hello Your Highness. It is my pleasure to frequently protect and save your life.
QUEEN: I welcome your help, Senator Palpatine hopes the Federal-ation THING will destroy me.
QUI-GON: I assure you I will not allow that to happen.
JARARI: WEESA GOIN HOME!
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The Viceroy and Rude Hacko are talking to Darth Silliness' hologram.
VICEROY: We have taken over the last pockets of pa-rimitive lifeforms, we are in complete control of the planet nowww.
SILLINESS: Good, I will see to it that in the Senate things stay as they are, I can do that you know, because I am the new Supreme Chancellor! Oh yes, and I'm sending my apprentice, DARTH MAUL to join you.
RUDE HACKO: What?
VICEROY: Ye-yes Ma'lord.
RUDE HACKO: A Sith? Here!
VICEROY: Ooh! Ooh! Doyoo tink we can get his autograph?